Musical Monday: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - Pure Imagination (#44).

[Every Monday, I'm going to be counting down my 52 favorite musical numbers from musical movies and TV shows. I might not like the full movie/show, but the number makes the list for various reasons: 1) I have to like the song, 2) the visual of how the number is performed is most likely unique or fun, 3) both song and visual mixes well to create an exciting or powerful number. So let's get to the next on the list.]

There are a lot of famous songs in this movie, but this particular song is probably one of the most beloved. It's sung as we see imagination at its finest and the joy of children and the childlike joy of adults runs wild. Not to mention Wonka's total control of the situation and smartassness shown just through his actions. I love this movie. There's really no other setup needed for this number. It's from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - Pure Imagination.

Unfortunately, embedding for this video isn't available, so you'll have to click here to see it.

60/60 Extra: Catch-22.

I have a bad headache right now, so I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. I read the book a few years ago and loved it--thought it was both very well written in a very non-linear format and was comedy gold... not to mention it had a brilliant twist ending. The movie is both very similar and very different. The story and characters are there (though there is quite a bit cut out from what I remember), but something just feels... off.

For those who don't know what it's about, the basic story (because it's much more complicated than this) follows Yossarian (Alan Arkin), a bombardier who wants to get out of the war. He tries to show that he's crazy so they can ground him, but the Doc (Jack Gilford) can't do it based on his word--if he asks to be grounded, he's obviously sane, because only someone crazy would stay in the war. That's Catch-22: any catch with circular logic. But through flashbacks and a completely non-linear plot, we see wacky misadventures, as well as the death of his friends and a young soldier that completely change Yossarian and give us quite an anti-war message. The film also co-stars Buck Henry, Bob Newhart, Martin Sheen, Jon Voight, Bob Balaban, and Orson Welles (among others).

The best I can describe it is that the book was mostly comedy with some heavy drama sprinkled in. The movie either cuts back on the comedy to focus on the drama or doesn't deliver the comedy as well as the book... possibly both. The adaptation just doesn't feel right to me tonally.

As for the actors, sometimes they're great, sometimes they could do better. Just like the tone, there's just something... off... about the actors. I also had a hard time figuring out who was who. There are a ton of characters in this story, and they're easy to keep track of in the book. But in the film, you might only hear their name once and quickly, so it's hard to keep names and faces together.

It's not a bad adaptation, but for a film based on a book I loved so much, I was left feeling very meh about it. And that's really all I can say. If you haven't read the book but enjoy the movie, please give the book a try. It's so much better (of course). So that's really all I have to say.

Stop Saying OK! OK.



I actually didn't know much going into this movie. I'd hardly even seen the trailer (and didn't remember much of what I'd seen). All I knew was that there was action, it had Nic Cage, and apparently something about escaping Hell. But boy, is there so much more. While I might spoil this more for y'all since it's more than I knew going in, I'm gonna go ahead and give you the plot--though not much more than what is given on imdb. The plot is about John Milton (Nicolas Cage), a man who escapes Hell to exact revenge on Jonah King (Billy Burke). Jonah is in charge of a Satanic Cult and just so happened to kill Milton's daughter and kidnap his baby granddaughter so that, by midnight on the next full moon, Jonah can sacrifice the baby and bring Hell on Earth. Along for the ride is Piper (Amber Heard), a waitress who Milton "befriends" and uses her car. They aren't alone, however. Chasing after Milton is a man known only as The Accountant (William Fichtner), wanting to collect him and bring him back.

This is hands down the most fun I've had at the theater so far this year. Granted, I haven't gone a ton yet this year, and they were for 2010 Oscar films. So this is technically the first 2011 film I've seen. And I sure hope the rest of the films I see this year are this fun. The movie is basically like mixing Constantine with Death Proof. It's sex, violence, absurdity, humor, and a bit of supernatural sprinkled on top.

One of the things I really enjoyed was that there's really not that scene where they sit Piper down and explain things. We're not given the boring 5-minute exposition moment. Instead, they give us the story through dialogue throughout the movie, and we piece everything together through what we're given (and we aren't given everything--just enough that matters). So those who wrote the script did a nice job with that. And speaking of, the dialogue had a lot of fun moments, too. But the dialogue was made even better by the actors.

Nic Cage doesn't go batty in the movie. He keeps it calm and collected, but it turns him into quite the badass in the process. Though, strangely, a lot of his comedy comes from the fact that he's not hamming it up. For instance, I think a certain scene in a motel room near the end of the first act would have lost something had he gone crazy with it. Then we have Amber Heard, who is awesome. She's no damsel in distress. She's there to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and she's all out of bubble gum. Not to mention she's damn sexy. Billy Burke is fun as Jonah, and he takes the role of ham in the movie. He doesn't go to Cage levels, but he definitely has his moments. But there are two people who steal the show. The first I want to mention is Tom Atkins as the police captain, and he does take it to some Cage levels at times. He's crazy and over-the-top, and he has a handful of fun lines. But the best of the film, hands down, is William Fichtner as The Accountant. He's funny, smooth, and completely enthralling. I want to know more about his character. There's a chunk of the movie where you don't see him for a while, and I really missed him. He was definitely one of my favorite parts of the film.

But then there's the action and violence, which is insane. Some of it is brutal; most of it is done with a (dark) comedic undertone, though. Cars and guns and baseball bats and garden tools and all sorts of things are used in this movie. And believe it or not, the 3D is actually very good. I'd recommend seeing it in 3D, as there are a lot of gags that were made for it.

Leave the kids at home, though. This is a pretty strong R. There's sex, (full frontal) nudity, language, extreme violence... basically everything you'd expect in an exploitation/grindhouse movie, which this basically is (and so much better than Machete and Death Proof). I'm just gonna stop rambling about it. It's a highly entertaining flick that, if you're a fan of this type of movie, I'd definitely recommend checking out. And to end with some cheese: It was one Hell of a ride that definitely left me happy (yeah... THREE puns).

Rating System.
Royale With Cheese


60/60 Review #16: The Apartment.

It's a movie written, produced, and directed by the same man. It's about a guy who owns an apartment that people are constantly coming in and out of. Everyone has sex there. The man is really wanting to get a promotion at work. He and another man are in love with the same woman. There's a short scene where, at the end, he pats a doggie. There's a random mention of pizza. The film title is two words, begins with "The" and is followed by a place of living. And, of course, there's a big suicide moment. And it won 5 Oscars, including best screenplay, director, and picture (and nominated for 5 others, including acting, cinematography, and sound). Yeah, you thought I was talking about The Room, didn't you?

This film is my introduction into Billy Wilder. Besides the horribly vague description I just gave, the film is really about a man named C.C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon), a man trying to get a promotion at work. So what does he do? He lets his bosses borrow his apartment on certain evenings to let them entertain ladies and have wild sex--much to the chagrin of his neighbors. He ends up falling for an elevator operator named Fran (Shirley MacLaine), who he soon finds out is really in an off-again-on-again secret affair with his main boss, Mr. Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray). But when something bad happens to Fran, it's up to Baxter to get her better, and he ends up getting closer to her in the process.

The first hour of the film is pretty much a sex comedy. It's full of situational humor and is relatively fun. And random side-note... I came home early sick from work today and decided to pop this in... and there's a good chunk of the beginning where Jack Lemmon is sick at work and whatnot. This makes two reviews this month where I have some kind of strange, personal connection to the film. Anyway, the second hour turns into a pretty straight drama once (Spoiler... though it's been out for 51 years) Fran tries to commit suicide. There are a couple jokes here and there, but it really is mainly a drama at this point. It's a drastic turn that I really wasn't expecting, especially since it's labeled as a romance/comedy with drama in third place (according to imdb, anyway).

It's all acted pretty well, though some of them still have some of that old-timey over-the-top-ness about them. I've always really liked Jack Lemmon, so he was a real plus. Shirley MacLaine was gorgeous, and she strangely reminded me of Carey Mulligan. And funnily enough, this has been the second movie this month with Ray Walston in it. Everyone else was alright.

I'd say the best part about the movie (outside Jack Lemmon) is its writing, which--as I've already mentioned--it won an Oscar for. The dialogue is good, the characters are good. It's all-around a well-written film. My biggest issue didn't really come to mind until I had already finished it. I realized that, despite it being this big love triangle thing... there wasn't a heck of a lot of chemistry between the characters. I felt it early on when they were in the elevator. But afterwards, especially in the second half of the movie, I just didn't feel it--or at least it wasn't as strong. It was minimal between Lemmon and MacLaine, but it was almost non-existent between MacLaine and MacMurray (though you could argue that being the point in that case). I knew they deserved each other and needed to be together--Lemmon and MacLaine, that is--because the story demanded it. Not because the actors demanded it. But maybe that's just me.

Anyway, it was a good film. Outside the chemistry thing, I didn't find all that much wrong with it. It was enjoyable, if a bit too serious at times. I didn't love it or anything, but I wouldn't be clawing my way out of the room if I had to watch it again. I don't know what it was up against at the Oscars that year--chances are I've probably not seen them anyway. But I don't deny it should have won them. It just wasn't my cup of tea (ironic since I drank two cups while watching). I just guess that's the way it crumbles. Cookie-wise, I mean.

I Am McLovin!

(P.S. That rating is for enjoyment. If I were to rate it on quality, I'd bump it up another rating. Anyway, this was the last official film for the month, but I have one more Extra to go to help tie in to next month... so stay tuned.)


Musical Monday: Anastasia - A Rumor In St. Petersburg (#45).

[Every Monday, I'm going to be counting down my 52 favorite musical numbers from musical movies and TV shows. I might not like the full movie/show, but the number makes the list for various reasons: 1) I have to like the song, 2) the visual of how the number is performed is most likely unique or fun, 3) both song and visual mixes well to create an exciting or powerful number. So let's get to the next on the list.]

It's Monday, so you know what this means! I really like this particular movie. I know it gets a lot of flak for being a Disney knock-off... and to be honest, I thought it was Disney for the longest time. I'm talking, of course, about Anastasia. There are a lot of fun songs in this movie. Probably the most well-known would be Once Upon A December. But I'm going for more of a catchy tune here. The song would be if you mixed in the big opening numbers from Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin (not including the narrator's song)... and coincidentally, this is the movie's opening number. I couldn't find the song with footage in English (every other language, though). But here's an audio file with the lyrics showing instead.


Random Ramblings of a Demented DoorVlog S2.12 (The Season Finale).

Here's episode S2.12.

This is it, folks... The Season 2 Finale! Probably the greatest bits of footage I've ever put together... and now you get to see it--on my birthday!

Last time on The Vlog: If you've gotten this far, you should know what's going on by now. If not, the fastest way to get a recap is to watch the promo I posted last week. You can click here to see it. It's the second video in that post.

So, I want to give a special thanks to all of you who guested this season! Some of the season's best moments came from y'all, especially shown through some wicked improv skills. Season 3 won't be coming for at least a few months at minimum, maybe later than that, but I've already got some ideas brewing (I even have the new opening credits already made). This particular episode was fun to put together--y'all gave me some great footage (I'm hardly in this episode), and it was great editing it together. Now, this episode was kept pretty secret from everyone involved. When I handed out scripts, I gave only what was necessary for the actor/actress to know. If there was a dialogue (like a phone conversation), I gave both sides for context, but often removed names or clues that gave away who it could be--unless the name was in the dialogue said by them. So most of these guest actors had no idea who they were talking to or, really, about what. Jason probably had the biggest clues, but even he wasn't handed everything. So I'm pretty excited to see what everyone thinks. Overall, I'm really happy with how this turned out. I have no idea how I'm going to top it next season, especially since the climax of this finale came from a spur-of-the-moment idea... but I'll think of something, I'm sure. Anyway, I'll not keep y'all bored with my ramblings. I'll let y'all at it. Enjoy!


The Demented Podcast #9 - MILDcast.

It's the last guest before the big Battle Royale, and what a guest it is! I'm joined by Kai Parker of The List and the MILFcast. He introduces himself to those who, for whatever reason, aren't already acquainted. Then we get into The Challenge. This was the actually second time in all 9 episodes thus far where we actually had to go back and redo The Challenge because we felt the first time wasn't good enough.

From there, we get into our main discussion where we talk about--what else?--boobs. Well, nudity in films in general... as well as some of our favorites. This isn't too bad of a misogynistic episode, though, ladies. Kai shows himself to have morals and show who he really is... on the inside. It's quite touching.

Then we get into The Demented Tower. Kai is the last person who can qualify for the Battle Royale--but does he do it? I'll just say that, at the end, he adds on to his chivalrous nature by proving himself a gentleman and a scholar and doing something quite noble. You'll have to listen and find out what!

On an interesting side-note, this episode had some of the biggest mess-ups I've ever had. Between having to redo The Challenge and messing up multiple times with my math all during The Tower, my head was a bit screwy throughout (and that's not even including some ringing phones and a break or two). Of course, none of you will ever hear any of that due to the magic of editing, so this is kinda pointless... but whatever! NOTE: I don't know how I missed this during my listen-through in editing, but I left in the beginning of one of the thousand attempts at giving Kai his score in one round of The Tower, so it sounds like I'm repeating myself briefly at one point. Just ignore it. Also, the reason Kai "loves that lemur" is because I had to keep going back and re-give him his stamina and score about 3 times as I suck at math.

Current Leaderboard (The Demented Tower):
1) Rachel - 179 Points
2) James - 135 Points
3) Hatter - 131 Points
4) Jess - 95 Points
5) Tom - 92.5 Points
6) Dylan - 90.5 Points
7) Jason - 33 Points
8) Travis - 32.5 Points

You can listen to this episode on the player below or by subscribing through iTunes.

That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.


60/60 Review #15: Annie Hall.

I've had only one other experience with Woody Allen--Match Point--and I seriously hated that movie. So I was a bit nervous going into this. As for this film, besides it being like... the ultimate rom-com (in more of the classic sense, not today's definition), I didn't know all that much about it. Well, it's about a dude named Alvy (Woody Allen) and his relationship with a woman named Annie (Diane Keaton). That's basically it. There's not really much of a plot outside just... his life.

And I loved every minute of it. Most of you know I'm a sucker for anything meta. This movie has him breaking the fourth wall; it has him talking to nothing, background characters as if they should know the entire plot and what's going on; it has them showing what-if situations in the middle of what's actually going on; it has them walking into flashbacks and commentating on the past events; and more. This film played to my heart and was right up my alley.

It has amazing dialogue/writing. It's very quick and very sharp witted and very smart, but that's pretty much what Woody Allen is known for (and which was completely absent from Match Point). There are so many moments to love that I can't even start to name them all. The one that keeps sticking out to me is earlier on in the movie theater where the patron behind him is going on about films loudly, and you can see Alvy's getting annoyed, and he eventually stops and walks up to talk to the audience at the camera. But then the guy walks up and joins him. And then they walk to the side and pull the guy they're arguing about out of nowhere, only so Alvy can make a comment like "don't you wish it could be like this?" There were so many fun moments, and that's only one of them.

The acting was of course top notch. I didn't even recognize Diane Keaton as I'm used to how she looks now, but she was very good. Woody Allen was great, as well. There are so many short bits with good actors that I wish could have been longer; Carol Kane, for instance. But I can't get onto this subject without mentioning the completely random appearance by Christopher Walken. I'd heard about this random moment a long time ago, but I'd completely forgotten about it by this point until he showed up and I was like "WTF?" It's out of left field, but it's bizarrely funny. Also, unless I'm just crazy, I'm pretty sure I saw Jeff Goldblum for like... 3 seconds.

During the film, one of the things that kept popping into my head--for whatever reason--was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I couldn't stop comparing the two. This, of course, led me to thinking about remakes. Could you imagine Michel Gondry remaking this film with Jesse Eisenberg and Rooney Mara? Now that'd be interesting. I dunno how much charm it would have, and I doubt it would match up to the original, but it would still be interesting.

Anyway, there's not a whole lot else to say. If I had a negative, it would be that I started to feel a drag around the hour mark, but it didn't bother me all that much. I still loved the film--mostly thanks to its clever writing and meta sensibilities. If you like that kind of thing, definitely check this movie out. It's well made, and while it's not laugh-out-loud funny (at least to me), it's pretty dang amusing through and through.

Rating System.
Royale With Cheese


60/60 Extra: Network.

This is going to be a different kind of review. This movie couldn't have come at a more necessary time in my life. With ridiculous hoop after ridiculous hoop that I've had to jump through over the past 6+ months at work with all the "new" stuff they want us to be doing, along with the unbelievable stress I put myself through, I've been on a borderline total meltdown for quite a while now. The last two weeks alone have been filled with such insanity, I'm just waiting for somebody to come up, punch me in the face, lean over and peer down at me and go "that's for existing."

It's all built up to a moment today where, in a classroom with no air conditioning so that it literally became more and more heated throughout the day, both my students and I became more and more uncomfortable and unsettled. So when I had to enforce a rule and take up a cell phone from a student who had it out--because I can get fired over that kind of thing--I was met with heated resistance. For a good amount of time, it was this student versus me and the rest of my class on why she should just hand it over. Eventually she did, but it left me in such a rotten mood (and her as well) that it's still affecting me all these hours later. On top of that, I was told my best option was to not only tell an assistant principal, but to call this student's parents and tell her cheerleading coach.

Why is that my best option? Because I'm worried of something that's probably not even going to happen. You see, I got in trouble earlier this year because I wasn't strict with the "no electronics" rule. So for the last couple months, I will give a warning and, if ignored, will confiscate said device, typically to give it back at the end of class. This student's main argument was that she felt I hadn't been doing said confiscations and that I was just singling her out, etc. Of course this isn't true, and the rest of my class had my back. But if she were to, say, tell her mother her "side" of the story--true or not--and her mother complained, due to my history with the matter, there is somewhat of a possibility they will believe her over me.

But they don't even need that history to take the student's side. For instance, earlier in the school year, one girl made up a lie and told her mother that a teacher pulled her chair out from under her, causing her to fall to the ground. There was an investigation with that teacher, causing a ton of stress and whatnot, because they--of course--believed the student over the teacher.

"So just do what you need to do," you say. I say: Sure, OK. But let's take a look at the matter. Besides the fact that the complaint might not even happen, and I could be causing unnecessary trouble where nothing would happen to begin with, this whole matter came from an issue over me enforcing a rule that a student can't have out a cell phone or else I could get fired.

Enter Network, a movie about a bunch of angry businessmen and women who work for a television network. Half of them are worried about or getting threatened with being fired for whatever reasons. We have a strong social satire about going with what's new and popular regardless of what the long-term results will be. The characters are so stressed that they make jokes about jumping off bridges. The acting is over-the-top, giving the feel that this is just a mad circus, a melodrama that is so ridiculous, it's actually absurdly realistic (at times).

I could hardly pay super close attention to this movie while it was playing because of how busy my mind was with other stresses, so there's going to be no rating today (just know that I consider it very well directed and written). But everything in it rang true and is still incredibly relevant all these years later. Despite being silly and satirical and not even about my personal field, it still connected with me in a serious way. People need to find their priorities. They need to stop making everything feel like a soap opera. And while I've heard it quoted before, never has the phrase "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" rung more true.

And the ironic part? Today's assignment was to read and answer questions on a humorous essay entitled "The News," about how television news is not only theatrical, but also how it is one of the most vital mediums ever created--leaving it up to the news anchor on how the mass population will react to something and live their lives accordingly.

So anytime you're ready, I'm waiting for that punch to the face.


Musical Monday: West Side Story - I Feel Pretty (#46).

[Every Monday, I'm going to be counting down my 52 favorite musical numbers from musical movies and TV shows. I might not like the full movie/show, but the number makes the list for various reasons: 1) I have to like the song, 2) the visual of how the number is performed is most likely unique or fun, 3) both song and visual mixes well to create an exciting or powerful number. So let's get to the next on the list.]

This is a movie that's kind of "in between" for me. It's a 'modernized' version of Romeo and Juliet, and it's alright on the whole. It's very cheesy and whatnot, but considering it's also R&J, that does make sense. There are plenty of good songs in the film, too, but there's one that I always seem to go back to. This is a song I'll randomly start singing if something reminds me of it. It's probably one of the most famous songs in the movie. It was most notably used as a big joke in Adam Sandler's Anger Management with Jack Nicholson. And the song? "I Feel Pretty."


Random Ramblings of a Demented DoorVlog S2.11 + S2.12 Promo.

Here's episode S2.11.

This episode pretty much is just setting up for the big finale next week.

Last time on The Vlog: DPR, who is now just Nick because he sent the other Nick into the past to become DPR (confused yet?), had originally hired a super-hacker named Dylan to find out information about Jason Soto and his plans. Dylan has been giving him information little by little. Meanwhile, DPR had to deal with magical issues that Jason was somehow inflicting upon them, and he got a little help from a witch known only as RT (who ended up sending them the time travel device to send Nick back in time in the first place). He still doesn't know Jason's ultimate plan--Plan 9--but he's got to find out soon... and do something about it.

Having already finished the Season 2 Finale by this point, this was the last episode I needed to film. I've officially wrapped on the season! Hooray! And man, did I try to make it a long one. The original cut was over 7 minutes long, and not all of that was plot. I had to cut two segments (a One Sentence Review and a bit where I'm just regular Vlogging for once) for time sake. This episode will also feature the last Completely Random Movie Comparison. There are two versions of it--maybe some day you'll get to see the alternate take. And I'm going to say now... this episode includes my favorite line I've ever written for this show thus far, and it's made even better by the person who performed it. That's all I'll say.

Anywho... enjoy!

Also! In honor of next weekend's Season 2 Finale, I've put together a promo trailer for the episode. I quite like it, myself. Anyway, the promo includes a lot of footage from previous episodes (including today's), but it also includes some never-before-seen footage from the upcoming finale. So without further ado, here it is:


WTF Did I Just Watch: Deadgirl.

So, I haven't done one of these in a long time. For those who don't remember--or weren't around back then--these types of reviews are pretty spoiler-heavy. I write them similarly to how Jason Soto writes his reviews; in other words, I summarize the movie while talking about the bizarre shit that goes on during the film. And yeah, I'll cuss a lot, too. Now, I had heard of this movie and even seen the trailer. I thought it was interesting, but I'd forgotten about it. Then Jason mentioned he was going to be doing a Live Twitter Event later this month where he will be tweeting his reactions as he's watching (I can't wait for that one). He got me interested in checking it out again, and when he reminded me it was on Netflix Instant Streaming, I thought "why not?"

This post is the true story of "why not."

A lot of you might know Jason's love/hate relationship with the French horror film Martyrs. I'm going to start off this review by saying... this is my Martyrs.

It starts off with two douchebags named Rickie and J.T. Rickie totally looks similar to one of my students, which really put me off immediately. Anyway, he starts with the joke "What's a word that starts with 'F' and ends with 'uck'? Firetruck!" Of course, any Smosh fans like myself out there will immediately go right to this. Not off to a good start.. So that threw me off for the first 5-10 minutes, as well. It doesn't help that the acting is terrible and the visuals look horrible. And obviously, the rest of the writing/dialogue and directing is just as painful.

Well, the douchebag duo decide to ditch school and go drink some warm beers in an old, abandoned insane asylum. Why? Why not! So they head on in and do douchebag things like kick chairs into walls, waterfall hot beer into their mouths, and try repeatedly to break a shatter-proof window. Eventually, they're chased down into a basement or something by a random, angry dog. While there, they stumble upon the tied up body of a nude girl. She's beaten, bound, and gagged. Rickie seems to do a personality 180 and become a more caring individual (our hero, ladies and gents), while J.T...

OK, I'm not making this up. They see the dead-to-dying body of a girl long forgotten in this decrepit building. J.T.'s first response? Essentially "Dude, let's fuck her. A lot." No joke. Of course, Rickie wants none of this and leaves. He does try to call the cops, but his mom's drunk boyfriend shows up and distracts him by giving him good life advice. Rickie yells at him and acts like a dick for reasons we're never really given except that he drinks beer. I guess that's really the sign of a douchebag in this movie.

We also discover not long after that Rickie is in love with some girl JoAnn, who he apparently had a chance with when they were in Jr. High, but now that time has past because she's turned into a bitch who will only date jocks or something. Anyway, we're also introduced to another friend of Rickie and J.T., a stoner named Wheeler.

Rickie, wanting nothing to do with the whole situation, tries to stay away. But J.T. comes back and forces Rickie to come back, as he has something to show him. They go, and Rickie starts to realize that J.T. might have killed her. And he did. About 3 times. He strangled her, broke her neck, and shoots her a few times. But she won't die. He "accidentally" killed her the first time because she was a bit... bitey. It's like she's a zombie or something! So you know what he does? Fucks her some more. They make a promise not to tell anyone about this, and Rickie leaves.

Rickie, having nightmares about the deadgirl, decides to go back and confront J.T. and do something about her. Unfortunately, he arrives only to discover Wheeler down there fucking the shit out of her while J.T. watches, despite Rickie and J.T. saying they weren't going to tell anybody. After this, they all promise each other never to tell anyone. J.T. never seems to leave the place, deciding he wants to fuck her 12 ways from Sunday. This includes, I kid you not, them discussing fucking the pus-oozing gunshot holes in her torso, because, hey, "it's warm."

And the movie hasn't even gotten interesting yet, folks.

Rickie eventually decides to end this and free the deadgirl by cutting her free. Unfortunately, he only gets one hand done before J.T. and Wheeler show back up. J.T. starts to rape her as per usual when she fights back and scratches his face. Rickie manages to escape unseen, though Wheeler does figure out it was him.

There's more necrophilia-esque rape. There's also a scene somewhere in here where the dog comes to attack J.T. again. It hops up onto the table over the deadgirl, and J.T. thinks he's screwed. But then deadgirl attacks the dog and bites it apart, splattering blood and guts everywhere. Anyway, there are more school interactions between Rickie, JoAnn, JoAnn's boyfriend Johnny, and Wheeler. We never find out what the hell happened between them that makes it too late for them to hook up. Anyway, Johnny and his jock friend Dwyer beat the crap out of Rickie for talking to JoAnn (he also asks her out at one point, and she's kind of a bitch in response). They also beat the crap out of Wheeler.

Wheeler decides to take this time to blurt out to Johnny and his friend that they have their "own pussy." Of course, this causes Johnny and Dwyer to force the other two to take them to see her. Mortified at first, Johnny and Dwyer want to get out of there. But J.T. and Wheeler talk them into trying it out for themselves. Dwyer fucks her while Johnny--not acquainted with her bitey-ness, decides to go for the blow job. Of course, we the viewer see it coming a mile away. When it happens, Johnny beats the crap out of her face, ugly-ing her up even more. Now, this is probably the most genius bit of writing in the entire movie. J.T. says they can't go to the police, because how would Johnny explain his injury? I can't explain it as they do in the movie, but it was actually pretty smart on J.T.'s part (disgusting, but smart).

Anyway, the next day, Johnny runs to the bathroom because his stomach is killing him. He goes to take a shit and his intestines explode out of his ass. He falls to the ground, and you realize that the deadgirl has infected him. He's just like her now (zombie). J.T. and Wheeler realize the power of the bite and decide to make a new deadgirl to rape since their current one is basically damaged goods. So they go stake out a gas station and scope out women they could take. Wheeler talks one bigger woman to check out some weed they had in the trunk. While she's peering down, he bashes her over the head. And this part is truly hilarious. She does a slow turn and stare. Then she starts bleeding a lot from the head. You think she's about to fall over... but instead, she starts cussing and kicks the living shit out of the two guys and storms away back to her car and leaves. No joke.

Of course, JoAnn decides to show up and confront the two beaten and battered guys about Johnny. They kidnap her and decide she'll be the new deadgirl. Rickie shows up and sees what's going on. The entire place is covered in Christmas lights (how did they get the power?), and JoAnn is tied up to deadgirl. Rickie has a machete and starts to cut her down, but he's interrupted. Rickie gets pissed and cuts off Wheeler's hand. Then, long story short, deadgirl gets free, attacks Wheeler and J.T., and Rickie and JoAnn run for it. The path is blocked, so they come back. Deadgirl pushes past Rickie instead of attacking him, somehow recognizing he only ever tried to help her. During this, we find out that J.T. had--at some point--stabbed JoAnn, and she was dying. J.T. offers to bite her (since he's newly infected), as it's not too late, so she can be immortal.

Then we fade away and see the deadgirl making her escape to freedom. After that, Rickie is walking around town super cheery and whatever. He then goes down into the asylum basement where we see JoAnn all dolled up in a white dress, tied to the table, clearly showing that Rickie decided to make her the new deadgirl so that he can fuck her whenever he wants. The end.

So, what did we learn from this, boys and girls? If you believe that if you came across a naked, tied down zombie girl and immediately thought "eh... I'd fuck her," then this movie is for you! Seriously, this was one bizarre, fucked up movie. I can't even get into the visual style of the film, which makes it even darker, dirtier, and more disturbing than I describe. The deadgirl herself is freaky/scary as hell (the makeup crew did well). After the first 10-15 minutes, the quality of the overall film gets better. The acting gets a bit better (though I swear J.T. goes in and out of some totally weird southern accent). The visuals are disturbing. The whole movie is just fucked up. I can't describe it any different. The first 40 minutes or so start to get very redundant and are kinda dull. But I suppose about the halfway point, the movie makes an interesting shift and starts to get at least somewhat creative. You're not sure up until that point if she's immortal or a zombie or what. I think it's a creative take on a zombie story, despite the film itself being really messed up. I suppose, at the very least, it's original? Though I'm not sure this is the film all you people bitching about not having original concepts these days were asking for.

Do I recommend this film? No. It's not a poorly made film or anything, in all honesty. But like Jason with Martyrs, I can't in good faith go around telling people they need to see this movie. So I'll leave it at this review. If you've read this and think you'd still like to check it out... please leave me your name so I know who to keep an eye on. Otherwise... enjoy? I guess? Whatever.




Well, I finally saw it. Today was the last day it was playing at my local theater, so I figured I might as well check it out. For those of you who don't know, it tells the story of the rise of King George VI (Colin Firth), who starts out as the measly Duke of York while his father, King George V (Michael Gambon), runs the roost with his brother, Edward (Guy Pearce), is up for the throne afterward. Well, before he was George, he was Bertie, and Bertie has a stutter. So Bertie's wife, Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter), takes him to a speech therapist named Lionel (Geoffrey Rush) to get some help. Bertie and Lionel form somewhat of a friendship as they go along, Lionel trying to get the stubborn Bertie to see that he does, in fact, have a voice. The film also features Timothy Spall as Winston Churchill (which brings its Harry Potter count to 3).

There's really nothing to say about this film that hasn't already been said or inferred. The rumor mills have been spinning that it's gonna make a sweep at the Oscars. It's definitely the front runner over the previously established front-runner, The Social Network. At the very least, Colin Firth has Best Actor in the bag. So let's start there.

The acting is, obviously, brilliant. Firth does magnificently in the role, emoting the pain and struggle of not only living with a stutter, but having to be this perfect figure of authority at the same time. There's a lot of emotion displayed, most of it through his facial expressions. Bonham Carter also does well as his wife, and it's pleasant to see her not doing something bizarre. But my favorite of the bunch is Geoffrey Rush, who was outstanding as Lionel Logue. He was funny, charming, and just a bit odd. He was certainly my favorite character in the film.

The visuals of the film were also gorgeous. The camera work and cinematography worked together beautifully. There were some angles and positions that were really inspiring, and working together with what we were seeing truly pulled it together. There's a scene really early on with a car going through the fog, which was probably one of my favorite shots in the entire movie.

The only thing working against the film--for me--is that it really is Oscar-bait. As such, I found myself checking my watch rather frequently (as Oscar-bait films aren't exactly my thing, as it were). Though it wasn't particularly boring, either, thanks to the relationship and chemistry between Firth and Rush. Will I go out and buy it when it hits the shelves? Probably not, but that has nothing to do with its quality. So do I recommend it? Definitely. It's a fantastic film all around: the acting, the visuals, the music... it's all superb, and I totally agree with the accolades it has been receiving.

Rating System.
Royale With Cheese

(P.S. That rating is more on scale of the quality. I wouldn't even give it a Whoa, as it's definitely a 5-star film. It's going back to that difference between favorite and best. So now we wait for Anonymous to comment.)


60/60 Review #14: Harvey.

For the first time in this list, I have no idea how to react. Let's try to talk it out... starting with the plot. Elwood P. Dowd (James Stewart) is a bit of a drunk... who happens to be best friends with a 6+ foot tall invisible rabbit named Harvey. His sister, Veta (Josephine Hull), and niece, Myrtle Mae (Victoria Horne), think he's totally nuts and want him committed. So they try to do just that. But thanks to some mix-ups, the mental hospital staff--including Miss Kelly (Peggy Dow), Dr. Sanderson (Charles Drake), Dr. Chumley (Cecil Kellaway), and Wilson (Jesse White)--have to chase down Elwood and talk him into coming back to the sanitarium. However, Elwood is a bit of a charmer, and just talking to the guy can deter you in whatever you're doing.

In the first 20 minutes or so, I was so horribly bored. The interactions between Veta and Myrtle were so dull, and they just go on way too long. I couldn't tell if the direction wanted them to be horrible over-actors or if that was just one of those "of-the-times" kinda things. It makes me wonder because the other secondary characters are fine. Jesse White is kinda over-the-top as Wilson, but the two doctors and the nurse are decent. And dear God, Peggy Dow as the nurse (Miss Kelly) was one of the most gorgeous actresses I've ever seen.

Then there's James Stewart. To the shock of people everywhere, I've only ever seen one other James Stewart film (It's A Wonderful Life), which I haven't seen since I was a wee lad. James Stewart was fantastic in this role, and he's the only reason I stayed glued to this movie. Every scene he was in was magical, and every scene he wasn't in was... not that great. And surprisingly, there are quite a few he's not in. His little character quirks and how he portrays them are both endearing and hilarious. The way he uses his charm against his pursuers, making them believe him and distract them from what they're doing is truly fascinating.

Strangely, I can relate to those characters that were enchanted by Elwood. Random backstory time: my first girlfriend had some (self-proclaimed) issues. She's gotten better since and has apologized for what happened... but let's just say that she believed some stuff that didn't actually exist and had enough charm and charisma to make others (particularly me) believe it. I won't get into details here, but let's just say it was even more strange than a large, invisible bunny. So anyway, the point of this random aside is that I could see how these other characters were drawn in by Elwood and didn't see it as ridiculous or stretched that it could actually happen.

There was an interesting transformation I had throughout watching the film, going from bored silly at the beginning to totally engrossed by the end. By the time they were talking about injecting Elwood with the serum, my stomach was in knots and my heart was tight in my chest. I knew that the possibility of Elwood being injected was symbolic of the possible loss of imagination, friendship, and innocence. It was the threat of losing that childlike wonder and being forced into the evils of adulthood. The speech the cab driver makes when he hears what's going on and how he's always brought people up to the place and how they're different going to and come from is heartbreaking, especially when you think about what's going on at that moment.

Overall, the film is kind of uneven for me. Everything with James Stewart is phenomenal (and makes me even more excited--if that's possible--for Hitchcock Month later on). But all the stuff without him isn't all that hot, especially if it's his sister and/or niece. The dialogue is fun between the characters and how everyone gets mixed up. It's almost as if they were aiming at making a more sophisticated screwball comedy. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it was a miss, but the majority of it was really good. And the film leaves you guessing whether or not Harvey is real or imaginary, which is pretty cool. So I guess my final verdict is that I liked it, but it could have been stronger (at least to me). That being said, let me give you my card...

I Am McLovin!

(P.S. That's a really strong McLovin. I was tempted to give it a Whoa, but I really didn't care for the non-Stewart scenes, and there were way too many of those. Sorry.)


60/60 Extra: The Sting.

After I watched Butch Cassidy, I got quite a few recommendations to watch The Sting, another Newman-Redford pairing. Well, with it being labeled a comedy, and this being comedy month, I thought it a perfect time to check it out. And to top it all off, it's a con artist film, which are way up there with heist films (because they're essentially the same idea)... and I love those.

This one is about Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford), a rookie con man looking for revenge after a close friend and partner is killed. He seeks out Henry Gondorff (Paul Newman), a skilled grifter who used to work with the man that had been killed. Together they plan on pulling the perfect job, one to get some revenge and quite a bit of money off Doyle Lonnegan (Robert Shaw). Helping out are other grifters like J.J. (Ray Walston) and Twist (Harold Gould). But they have to stay careful, as a detective named Snyder (Charles Durning) is after Hooker, too.

I'd like to say straight-up that, while I was told the chemistry between the two leads was even stronger in this film, I have to disagree. I felt their bond was stronger in Butch Cassidy. However, I'm not saying that's a negative or a detractor from this film at all. The acting was still very strong in this film. Though I think it's particularly funny that, in the aforementioned western, Newman was the good looking charmer and Redford was the gruffer one. Here, they've switched that around. Redford is the charmer, and Newman is much more gruff.

I really liked how the whole film was edited into chapters like a book. Every section told its own part of the job, letting the audience know what was happening, step-by-step. I just thought that was a fun and creative way to organize the film.

The tone of the film kind of bounces between lighter fair (as it is labeled a comedy) and some darker bits that involve hitmen and death and all sorts of stuff. It really worked, keeping you on your toes. It was never something like an Oceans film, where you knew it was all part of the job and they would somehow come out on top. There was this more gritty element that really left you feeling uncomfortable in the sense that anything could really go wrong... but what if this is all part of the plan? That's something I loved about the movie. It kept me guessing.

The job itself was very layered, giving us multiple steps to get through to get it done. Like I said before, it was hard to figure out if what was going on was true or just part of the scam. There were double and even triple crosses going on. And although I know nothing about racetrack betting (which the scam centers around), I was easily able to follow the film, as the job wasn't so much about the details of the horse races as it was the scam itself. It allowed me to follow along easily.

Before I start sounding redundant, I'm just gonna end it there. I've seen plenty of heist and/or con artist films, but this one was damn near perfect. The acting is great. The story is great. The job itself is great. The way the film is edited together is great. There are plenty of nice twists and turns. And, of course, the final payoff makes it all worth it. This was such a fantastic film, and I'm so glad it was recommended to me.

Rating System.
Royale With Cheese


Musical Monday: Annie - Tomorrow (#47).

[Every Monday, I'm going to be counting down my 52 favorite musical numbers from musical movies and TV shows. I might not like the full movie/show, but the number makes the list for various reasons: 1) I have to like the song, 2) the visual of how the number is performed is most likely unique or fun, 3) both song and visual mixes well to create an exciting or powerful number. So let's get to the next on the list.]

I keep forgetting about these! Sorry about that. Anyway, this is the first movie on the list that will actually have more than one song on the list. Coming from a big music family, I was raised on musicals, and Annie is one of the musicals I grew up with. First up is one of its two most famous songs--Tomorrow. It's a song of optimism, to never get down because it'll just be a new day soon. It's also one that I can't hear the word "tomorrow" without automatically thinking of this song. Now, I couldn't find the original movie version of this song on YouTube, but I did find a damn good elementary school (it seems) performance. Check it out.


Random Ramblings of a Demented DoorVlog S2.10.

Note: If you missed the post, I just put up The Demented Podcast #8 a few hours ago, right below this post. Check it out!


Here's episode S2.10.

This episode finally gives us an explanation for the Season 2 LOST opening.

Last time on The Vlog: The season opened with the opening of an eye. "Nick" looked around, confused, and without memory. He had no idea how he got there. He had something around his neck, his glasses on his chest, and "JS" written on his hand. Everything else was a blur. He ends up becoming Dramatic Post Reader. Fast forward and we have DPR contacting a witch who goes by RT to help them by giving them a time travel device. She didn't want to do it, but she did. And now Nick and DPR are awaiting her package.

This particular episode was a bitch to make... and you'll understand why when you see it. It's totally necessary to the plot, of course, but actually making it took a while. I even almost ran out of battery (I got down to about 2 minutes or so). And then editing it took a few hours, something that's never happened before. So the episode is a couple minutes longer than the limit, but I hope you can forgive me on that. I didn't want to cut anything, as the plot stuff is vital and the random stuff is (mostly) thematic. So I hope y'all like it. Oh, and randomly, I tried saving the video in a different format than usual to see if that helps boost the quality. We'll see if that works.

Anywho... enjoy!


The Demented Podcast #8 - Demented Cabins.

This has been a long-time coming, but I finally managed to wrangle Dylan Fields of Blog Cabins onto the show. We kick off with some feedback and then get into a "The Challenge" that is so outrageous, it was very difficult to edit. We were making ourselves laugh so hard we could barely get through the scene. I tried to edit out most of the laughing, but you might still hear tinges of it here and there.

From there, we get into our main topic. Dylan had us discussing films that aren't musicals but could be. Each of us came prepared with 3 films, gave them composers and songs--some titled--and explained where they would be in the film and who would sing them. Let's just say we start with The Room and True Romance, and it only gets better from there.

Then Dylan takes on The Tower. Not only does he have his eye on Rachel's #1 spot, much like many others, but he might just have the ability to pull it off. Does he do it? Listen and find out!

Current Leaderboard (The Demented Tower):
1) Rachel - 179 Points
2) James - 135 Points
3) Hatter - 131 Points
4) Jess - 95 Points
5) Tom - 92.5 Points
6) Jason - 33 Points
7) Travis - 32.5 Points

You can listen to this episode on the player below or by subscribing through iTunes.

That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.


60/60 Review #13: The Kentucky Fried Movie.

It's time to get into the first review for "Comedy" Month, transitioning from the bizarre world of Brazil to the bizarre world of... Kentucky? So, I wasn't sure what to expect going into this movie. This one was recommended by Jason Soto, and the last movie suggested by Jason for this was Plan 9--the only movie that got a mostly negative review on the list thus far. That's not to say Jason and I never agree. We actually agree fairly often. And then I was told from all sides to lower my expectations for the film, which kinda didn't make me feel too much better about it. But I'm glad my expectations were super low, otherwise I might not have enjoyed it like I did.

There's really not anything I can say plot-wise... because there isn't one. If you've never seen the movie, it's basically a string of skits. It's made by the same people as Airplane!, so it's that type of goofy comedy. The closest it gets to a full-length film is the second "act"--or the middle 30 minutes--which is a parody of Enter the Dragon.

To me, the gags were hit or miss. The majority of the film was fun, and none of it was really bad--just a different brand of humor. I honestly don't have too much to discuss about this film. Honestly, what can you say about a skit film? So I'm gonna talk about my five favorite skits. But before I do that, I just wanna discuss A Fistful of Yen: Despite this lasting the longest of all the skits (slightly over 30 minutes), it wasn't super fascinating. I've seen Enter the Dragon, so I knew the jokes. The action was fun, as it should be. The best part is probably the middle, but the skit as a whole isn't very cohesive. It also starts to sink a bit at the end when it goes into parodying The Wizard of Oz. Overall, it was good, but it wasn't my favorite. That being said, these were (in order):

5) A.M. Today (6min 5sec): This began a running gag about people getting hit with a random arrow that went throughout the whole film. The rest of the skit is OK, particularly the animal segment, but the set-up of that arrow gag is the best part.

4) United Appeal For The Dead (1min 42sec): This was a very bizarre and dry comedy skit. It was basically a commercial for how death didn't have to be the end. This family brings their dead son home and takes him to different events, despite him being a rotting corpse. There's a lot of visual humor here, but the best part is the very dry narration of the commercial host (Henry Gibson).

3) The Wonderful World Of Sex (4min 55sec): This has a couple on a date putting on a record after finishing their meal, and the record starts narrating exactly what they need to be doing sex-wise and, thus, becoming a very meta, self-fulfilling prophecy. And as most of you probably know, I like meta stuff, so this was a really fun segment for me.

2) Feel-A-Round (4min 52sec): This was probably one of my favorite skits. It involves a man going into a theater to watch a movie, and he's warned that the film is in "Feel-A-Round." He starts watching the film as an usher stands behind him, and depending on what the actor or actress says on the movie depends on what the usher does. For instance, if the actor gets something spilled on him, the usher will spill something on the guy. I found this segment particularly noteworthy because of the massive trend of 3D lately and how we're even getting into 4D Motion Boxes or whatever they call them. It probably wasn't social commentary back when they made it, but it totally is now, and that was really good and funny.

1) Courtroom (7min 37sec): This is in two parts, but I'm talking about both here, which is why I combined the times. These segments are actually the ones with the most simple humor, but the humor that made me laugh the most. There's a trial going on for a car wreck and somebody is being prosecuted. The type of humor here is the type where a guy can tell the witness to follow him across the room, and the other lawyer will say "Objection, he's leading the witness!" Or one lawyer asks the witness what his shirt is made of, and the other says "Objection, his shirt is immaterial." In other words... puns. I know a lot of people hate them, but I think--if done right--they can be hilarious. And these were.

Anyway, that will probably about do it for this review. On the whole, the movie was entertaining. Like I said, it's pretty hit or miss depending on what kind of humor you like. It's very silly, which is sometimes good and sometimes not. It hasn't been my favorite of the list, but it also hasn't been my least favorite. So to that I say... Jason, you've redeemed yourself.

I Am McLovin!