V.G. Movies #38: Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

Finally! We're getting back in to some interesting history. The original game was created way back in 1989 for the Apple II computer. It was an incredible leap forward with video game animation for its time. The original game's story was set in (shocker) Persia when a warring sultan's vizier (and also wizard) named Jaffar takes control. His only obstacle is the sultan's daughter and locks her up giving her the option of death or marriage to him. You play as the love of her life going to rescue her. And... yeah, it's totally Aladdin. The game got 5 out of 5 ratings and "best game of all time" comments, but it was a commercial failure in America. (Though the game would also go on to inspire other classics, such as Tomb Raider.)

After a couple sequels, the game series got a total makeover for the PS2 in 2003. This is when the "Sands of Time" trilogy began. Besides greater graphics, the games introduced the sands of time and the Dagger of Time into the series. The dagger introduced the element of time travel into the gameplay, allowing players to rewind time in the case of a failure so to try again. Otherwise, the plot stays similar with an evil vizier and a kidnapped princess. The plot of the first game is otherwise too long and complicated to detail briefly here... but it doesn't matter, as the film is only loosely based. But the first game, at least, received high ratings and even won Game of the Year status, and it's still considered one of the highest rated and best games of all time.

So of course a movie was due. And because it's ancient Persia, why not case a bunch of white dudes? And give it to the same director as Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire--arguably the worst adapted book of the series (in the sense of choppiness and sheer volume of cuts and changes, as well as changes of character personalities).

NOTE: I was actually going to rewatch the film (I'd seen it in theater) and re-review it. However, my mail got screwy and the Netflix disc didn't come in on time. And my mail still has yet to come today, and I've basically run out of time to re-watch it today (I have other stuff to get done). So, that said, I'm just gonna repost the review I wrote from when I saw it in theater. If my mind changes on anything after I eventually rewatch it, I'll make note... otherwise, here you go.

THE FILM

I'd been mildly excited for this movie. I haven't played the video games, but I'm a fan of the concept. And anything that involves Parkour is cool. And then I started hearing the relatively positive reviews and got a bit more excited. Though despite the reviews being positive, they were only mildly so, with ratings around the 3-3.5 out of 5 range. But hey, that's at least entertaining, right? Right.

The movie follows the story of Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal), who started out as an orphan but is adopted by the Persian king, thus becoming a prince of Persia. But with his street-based childhood, he has some street cred and knows how to move about (Aladdin-ish). Well, after getting some news that a major city might be selling weapons to Persia's enemies, Dastan, his brothers, and his uncle (Ben Kingsley) are forced to invade them. In the process, Dastan discovers a mystical dagger that has the ability to turn back time, which is guarded by the city's princess, Tamina (Gemma Arterton). But after Dastan is accused of murdering his father, he is forced to leave with Tamina on a quest to figure out who was really behind his father's death, as well as discovering the secrets of the dagger. The movie also features Alfred Molina as a shifty entrepreneur who dabbles with... ostrich racing.

Overall, some parts of this movie are better than others. This movie was pimped out to be the next big Pirates of the Caribbean. What I loved most about the PotC films, besides the quirky Captain Jack, were the imaginative fight sequences. And this movie had a lot of potential for imaginative fight sequences, what with the video game's basis in parkour and instant time travel. And I felt, for the most part, this potential was wasted. There's maybe one or two scenes that utilized these things well (primarily the parkour), but that's about it. But the scenes that do utilize these things are pretty cool.

The acting is decent, with the witty banter of Dastan and Tamina stealing the scenes. Dastan was a pretty fun character, and Gemma Arterton is absolutely gorgeous. Oh, and her character is decent, too, playing a strong female lead. Alfred Molina really hammed it up, and his character walked the line between funny and bizarrely annoying. There were some moments where he was funny, but the character overall was just strange, and the whole ostrich thing felt out of place. As for the other characters, the smaller roles (like the brothers) were a bit rough. They were flatly written and--sometimes--poorly acted. And Ben Kingsley was just kinda in it for the paycheck, I think.

Which leads me into the script itself. You can tell there are some very video game moments (puzzles, etc.). And those are pretty cool. But there is some pretty rough dialogue that is so forced, so stilted, so bad... I wonder how it even stayed past the rough draft of the script. Luckily, these moments are few and far between, but when they show up (especially around the beginning), they really stick out.

I know this review seems negative, but I didn't dislike the movie. It was actually pretty entertaining, and I can agree with all those other reviews that put it in that middle ground. It's not great, but it's fun, and it's a decent way to spend about 2 hours. Sure, you pretty much see everything coming a mile away, but the journey is still an entertaining one. And isn't that what summer blockbusters are all about?


Stop Saying OK! OK.

The Vlog: Season 5, Episode 7 (Sing (Die) - Part 1).

It's finally here! The first musical episode! I probably spent more time working on these two episodes than any other episodes I've ever done (since it took a lot more pre-production work, too). We've also now gotten halfway through the season and are officially out of the "black-and-white" section of the season. Anyway, here you go... I hope y'all like it! Let me know what y'all think in the comments!

LOOPER.

Going into Looper, I didn't expect a whole lot. My expectations weren't through the roof or anything. I was excited to see it much like everyone else. I really like Brick and JoGo and Willis. I love time travel movies. All I'd seen were the trailers and only knew anything about the film from what I learned there. So I figured I'd dig it. I figured it's be good. I didn't expect... this. In roughly 60 years from now, time travel is used by the mob to send people back 30 years to be killed by what are called Loopers--people who are paid to kill and get rid of the bodies of people sent back from the future. They are so called because if they last another 30 years, they must close the loop by getting rid of their own future self and being set up nicely for the next 30 years of their existence. But something is happening in the future that shaking things up, so when Looper Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is sent his future self (Bruce Willis)--who does not appear in protocol outfit--Old Joe has a chance to escape, and Joe has to right everything before his boss, Abe (Jeff Daniels), finds either of them and puts them down. The film also co-stars Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, Piper Perabo, Noah Segan, and that-guy Garret Dillahunt.

I actually didn't even get into the heart of the story. That's just the basic setup. I didn't want to get into it because I loved the twists and turns this story takes. It goes in places you would never expect, especially from the trailer... which really gives away almost nothing of the story. Hell, I didn't even know any of these other people were in the movie. Just seeing Dano and Daniels appear threw me (forgive me)... for a loop. I'd seen the trailer a dozen times, and this is the most blind I've ever felt in a theatrical viewing of a film. So perhaps that had a lot to do with my reaction.

The story itself is great. It's not just a chase story as the trailer would have you assume. That's there, but it's certainly not what drives the film. I mean, I don't believe Bruce Willis even shows up for about 30-45 minutes into the movie. It takes its time and sets up the world and the characters and the situations they're in. And even when everything starts going down, it still takes its time keeping you invested in the drama and the characters rather than relying solely on adrenaline and action. And I can honestly say that I had no idea how this movie was going to end. There were a number of different ways that came to mind, and any of them seemed they could happen. But the one it did go with was the best option for the film.

The acting is really good all around, but the one who stole the show was Pierce Gagnon. "Who?" you ask. He's a real young kid that plays Emily Blunt's son in the movie. He was so good it was almost creepy. I mean, this kid is star-bound; easily the best child acting I've seen in a long time. For such a young age to pull off what he had to was insane to watch.

One of the big things I love about the film is that its characters and their situations and the world they live in are so rich and complex. I don't mean Primer complex or anything. It has nothing to do with the time travel. All of that actually (mostly) makes sense. The world, for instance, is so incredibly detailed. From how buildings look in the background to details on a truck to... anything, really. It seems everything has a purpose and the filmmakers could tell you a story for every little visual detail in the film--why something looks or works the way it does, even if the film never gets into it. And then the characters are amazingly well done. Every character is both a good and a bad guy. You understand where each one is coming from. You want everyone to succeed and fail because you know what it means if they succeed or fail. But you want them to anyway. The movie makes you feel for all of these people, and there's no real clear hero or villain/good vs. evil going on here. It just so happens that, for instance, for one character's heartfelt mission to succeed, it means another's must fail and vice versa, etc. etc.

Do I still have a couple questions? Yeah. But as far as I'm aware, this is one of the most well-crafted sci-fi/time travel dramas in years (and it is more than just time travel... there's a whole sci-fi/fantasy element to it, as well with some mutant/telekinesis stuff). Of this writing, I can say it's going to end up in my Top 5 of the year, which is funny considering I wasn't hyped about it at all going into it. It was just very fresh and original and incredibly well done all around.


Royale With Cheese

DREDD 3D.

I was never sure what to think about this movie from the trailers. It looked pretty. Karl Urban looked like a cool Dredd. And the story reminded me--like many others--of Raid: The Redemption. So how did it really stack up? Here's the story: In the future, America is down to one Mega-City filled with 800,000,000 people. This city--MegaCity 1--is kept in some form of control by the Hall of Justice run by Judges, the law enforcement who are Judge, Jury, and Executioner all in one. One of the best is Judge Dredd (Karl Urban) who is assigned to take on a rookie named Anderson (Olivia Thirlby) to see how she stacks up on a day on the job. She borderline failed all exams, but she's also a psychic and can be useful. So as soon as they go on the job for the day, they pick an assignment at the Peach Tree living quarters--a giant tower slum run by Ma-Ma (Lena Headey), who just so happens to be in charge of distribution for a new drug called Slo-Mo. But instead of letting the Judges escape with any kind of proof of this, Ma-Ma locks down the tower and orders anyone willing to take the Judges down.

So, in other words... it's Raid: The Redemption, but without the martial arts. Actually, my comparison here is similar to that of the book versions of Battle Royale to The Hunger Games. BR is the better of the two; it's grittier, cooler, and has the better action. The Hunger Games puts a more clearly sci-fi twist to it, brings it down a few notches, keeps it entertaining, but handles a very similar idea in a different kind of way. So in this comparison, Raid is Battle Royale and Dredd is Hunger Games... but without the love triangle.

Likewise, my thoughts that Karl Urban looked like a cool Dredd was spot on, too. He plays the character perfectly, and he's just a total badass. The way he handles the situation and never loses his cool is great to watch. Even in the middle of all the chaos, he treats it almost like just another day, and he never forgets that he's assessing Anderson. He constantly asks her for her thoughts on what to do and then tends to go with it, giving a really interesting dynamic. Olivia Thirlby plays Anderson well, and she does get some badass moments of her own (I loved the mental interrogation scene and wished that was a little longer, even). And Lena Headey was menacing in a very down-played performance. Still, it was Karl Urban that completely steals the show, as he should. And no, he never takes off the helmet.

The one character I couldn't figure out my thoughts on, though, was a guy named Kay played by Wood Harris. He's one of Ma-Ma's top lackeys who gets arrested by Dredd and Anderson near the beginning and is basically held in their captive for the majority of the film. But here's why I couldn't figure out if I liked this or not: he was clearly a smart and sadistic character, but for at least the first half of the movie... he's just background fodder. He doesn't try to fight back. He doesn't try to escape. He doesn't try to get anybody's attention when they're trying to hide and/or stay silent. He just stands or sits there with the two Judges not making a sound, seemingly willing to do what they ask. At the same time, though, he does eventually start playing some mind games (mainly with Anderson), and it's more like he's just biding his time--but how did he know he had time to bide? And why risk it when the entire building is coming after these two? Anyway, it just seemed like a bit of a forced plot point, and it's a big one, which didn't help my thoughts much.

I also figured this movie would be pretty... and it was. The aesthetic of the film is nice. It's gritty when it needs to be and shiny when it needs to be. Overall, they gave it a really great look, from the sets to the costuming to the CGI Slo-Mo. And speaking of that... one worry I had was that they would over use the Slo-Mo. They didn't. In fact, practically every Slo-Mo sequence in the film is shown in the trailer. If I had any complaints about it, it's that I would have liked to see it used just a little differently. For instance, there's a scene where some guys are forced to inhale it and then tossed over the railing to fall down the building. This could have been a great vertigo-inducing fall sequence, but it's never used to its full potential here. They kind of do it again, and much better, later on, though. That kind of made up for it.

Unfortunately, where this movie lost some of its points was in the action department. Perhaps it's just because it's so easily compared to Raid that it's even harder for it to live up to those action stylings. Most of the action in this movie is gun-related, which isn't incredibly exciting for a whole movie of it. Where it does regain points, though, is with those badass guns. The Judges' guns are sweet, able to do so many different things that it helps to really keep variation throughout. So I guess my complaint here is that it goes from one gun setting action sequence that lasts 30 seconds to a non-action sequence that lasts 5+ minutes to another gun setting action sequence that lasts a minute, etc. It felt like the balance of action to "walking around corridors" wasn't quite right... but it was almost there. (But don't get me wrong... the action that was there was a lot of fun in the realm of violence and excitement.)

Overall, it was a solid effort. Of course I'm going to say I prefer Raid over this in the action department in terms of this story. But in terms of characters and whatnot, Dredd is a total badass, and I could watch Karl Urban as Dredd all day. He was just so much fun. And Olivia Thirlby was good, too. Will I be going out to buy it the second it hits the shelves? Probably not. But if it comes on TV or a friend wants to check it out, I would definitely stop to watch it again. And I would check out a sequel, too, if Urban reprised the role. It was fun.


I Am McLovin!

(P.S. The 3D was pretty good. There were some excellent shots with it... but it's not necessary to see it with the 3D. Still, you won't be disappointed if you do. It's done quite well.)

Fun With Tom And James.

For those of you who are somehow unaware, Australian blogger Tom Clift is making his way across North America, going to film festivals, and meeting as many of his online friends as he can. Months ago, he started showing people his tentative schedules, and plans were made to meet up. Well, one of the time and dates was going to be in Austin, and as that's only about a 2-hour drive for me, I figured "Totally!" Even more surprising, however, was when the mysterious James Blake Ewing of Cinema Sights, also a fellow Texan, decided he would meet up with us as well. And so we compared schedules and found the best possible day to meet up. And so we did. Here's how it went down (at least from my perspective):

The drive to Austin was mostly uneventful... except for some peculiar song choices on the radio. At first, every song had to do with killing, being killed, or death. Getting flashbacks to something like the  Final Destination series, I really began praying that the mysterious, HAL9000-esque James was not going to murder us.

But then, I kid you not, this song came on the radio:



I couldn't help but laugh, and everything was right in the world.

Anyway, the plan was to meet at the Ritz Drafthouse theater at 1 PM. I pass the theater, get a parking spot in a lot down the way, and wander back in the direction of the theater... and can't find it. I'm literally going in circles for 10 minutes, unable to find this Drafthouse theater that I know I had just seen. (It was tucked away in a little alcove area that I kept missing for some reason.) Eventually, I hear a familiar Australian voice call my name from across the street and see Tom waving. I smile and start walking towards him as he motions to a guy who looks like [description deleted] that I could only assume to be James. We said hello, shook hands, and began our wandering of downtown Austin.

We begin talking as we're walking, and Tom suggests finding a little diner or something so we can sit and eat and have a little discussion before our 3:30 showing of The Master. We do and end up getting sat at a table right next to the door. I got this chicken sandwich and Tom got a ridiculously huge burger, while James didn't eat because he's [reason deleted].

A picture Tom took of his ridiculous burger.

We sat there talking for at least 90 minutes--everything from Tom's TIFF experience to our favorite films of the year thus far and more. (I kept bringing up Cabin in the Woods, and James kept bringing up directors we'd never heard of. Tom kept making us both jealous of the movies he's already seen, mostly thanks to TIFF.) At one point James quotes 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Soon it was about time to head on over to the Drafthouse, and so we did. We got our tickets, found some seats, and just hung out for 20-30 minutes or so waiting for the flick to start. I ordered a totally insane milkshake just because it sounded too ridiculous to actually exist (vanilla ice cream mixed with root beer, chocolate, peanut butter, caramel, malt mix, and topped with crushed popcorn. Dear God was it good). And, believe it or not, the irony of ordering a milkshake to PT Anderson's follow-up to There Will Be Blood didn't hit me until later. But I drank it up!

After the movie ended (with the theater in total and complete silence for at least 2 minutes... probably due to confusion), we three amigos headed out onto the street where the sun blinded us. We hung out on a street corner among other peeps and talked about the movie. And this is where things got interesting. We were approached by not one, but two different homeless guys asking for money, to which we had none to offer. And then, because both Tom and James' back were to the street, I was the only one to see this... but a guy who looked exactly like this started walking around the nearby intersection:

He had the purple beanie and all. He walked down the crosswalk and past us; a few minutes later, he came back looking lost/confused and made his way back across the street where he was originally. And I never saw him again after that. I thought at least James had seen him, but apparently not. He was all "I'm sorry, Dave." (Or something like that.)

Then I asked James a very important question and/or favor as Tom made a phone call. Surprisingly, he agreed. So the three of us made our way to my car. But before we get there, these two really hot girls stop us and ask me to take a picture of them. I guess I'm just approachable like that. They thanked me, we made out for a while, and then they went on their way (one of those things isn't true). So anyway, we goofed off for about 10 minutes in the parking lot before wandering back to the streets of downtown Austin where we were bothered by more homeless men (I blame Tom and/or James. I attract hot girls).

Speaking of hot girls, as we were wandering from one end of downtown to the other, a hot Asian girl stopped the three of us and gave us these Judge Dredd badges for free and then asked us to take a picture with her so her boss didn't think she was just slacking off all day or something. And then she let us leave. It was rather strange.

From there, we found ourselves heading further than we'd traveled thus far to hit up a Starbucks. And there we sat for the rest of the night running the gamut discussing film types and topics... everything from artistic, pretentious flicks to mainstream to bad bad to A Serbian Film and Human Centipede 2 (ironically, neither of which I brought up). By the end of the night, I don't think there was a single film genre or director we hadn't covered. We even talked about my 50/50 List and what I had coming up after we ran out of other movie things to talk about.

Strangely, I noticed (again, with James and Tom's backs to the door) that more and more flamboyantly gay and lesbian groups entered the shop. I thought nothing of it, of course--this was Austin, the most liberal city in Texas. And then a rather tall transvestite came in, and that's when I knew something was up. That's right, ladies and gents. The three of us found ourselves in the middle of a gay pride parade! When we eventually left Starbucks to head our separate ways (after taking a picture together, of course), James and I had to dash across the police-guarded street before the parade hit this far down so we could get back to our cars. What a way to end the day!

Now, I know what y'all are saying: "Pictures! Pictures or it didn't happen! We want to know that James isn't a robot and/or that he actually exists!" And I will show you a picture... in November. Why November?

Well, I hinted at it earlier, but James agreed to appear in the final episode of The Vlog, which will be airing on Sunday, November 4. That's right. If you want to finally know what James Blake Ewing looks like, you must tune in to the Series Finale of The Vlog, and you will finally see video evidence. Until then, any picture is embargoed. (And if you haven't been watching... I suggest getting started! It's awesome!)

And that's it!

50/50 Review #37: Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (1956).

I went into this expecting to do nothing but compare it to the 1978 version, which was an early favorite of mine from last year's 60/60 List. And as much as I both wanted to and tried not to... I found it was really hard to. They're, of course, the same story... but explored so differently. The film picks up with Dr. Miles Bennell (Kevin McCarthy), who has made his way to another town and making the authorities think he's insane. He tells his story of how his hometown was taken over by pod people, and they were going to slowly start taking over the world.

The pods themselves are really freaky, mostly because they remind me somewhat of Little Shop of Horrors, and that still causes plants to freak me out despite it being my favorite movie of all time. And although this film had a visual freak factor to it, that's the one area I did prefer the 1978 version. That version just had an amazing and gorgeous visual style and use of dream-like camera angles to add to everything. I loved the look of the '78 version, so that was hard to get past while watching this one. But still, while it didn't bring anything special to the table in that regard, it worked well--and sometimes better--elsewhere.

This is a nicely paced, taut noir thriller (much more than the horror it's labeled as). It's not as slow of a burn as the one that follows it, from what I remember, and it keeps you on the edge of your seat. Funnily enough, I was fighting falling asleep (due to tiredness, not the film) near the end, right around the time the characters themselves are fighting falling asleep so as not to turn into pod people... so there was a bizarre meta quality to watching this film that made it that much more intense.

Of course there's the comparison of endings, as well. The '78 version has the classic downer/shocker ending, which is fantastic (and a bit preferred). This version has a happier ending. Though apparently the happy ending was a studio choice, and the original ending was supposed to be in the scene right before it where Miles looks into the camera and says "You're next!" I'll admit, that was really creepy. And that only added to the exploitative nature of the film. In a way, it reminded me of something like Reefer Madness, where it was a fictional event used to scare people into thinking a certain way. In this case, it was used as a parallel with the red scare/McCarthyism (ironic, since the lead character is played by Kevin McCarthy). You can't trust anybody! And soon, if you're not careful, they'll come in the middle of the night while you're sleeping and take you and your family and brainwash you! Again, I know that was the entire idea behind it, so it works. It just felt, at times, a little beat-you-over-the-head with it, particularly toward the end.

Otherwise, it was a really good little film. Again, it's both easy and difficult to compare it to the '78 version. In a way, they both have their pros and cons. And I can't say which one is better. I think I prefer the '78 for both its ending and its visual style. But this version is much tighter in its pacing. I'd recommend checking it out if you like any of the other versions. It's a different enough cut of the story to keep you engaged, and it does get really creepy at times--mainly with the pods. Good stuff.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. That will do it for Steve's Month! It surely was an interesting month! It spanned the gamut of feelings, from eh (My Favorite Year) to good (Devil's Backbone) to really good (Body Snatchers) to new favorite (Double Indemnity). But now it's time to move on. Next month I'll be going into some bizarre, potentially dangerous territory. That's right, it's time for Joel's Month.)

THE MASTER.

Oh, The Master... a movie that seems to say so much and nothing at all simultaneously. Likewise, it's bringing out reactions from fans where they want to talk about it but can't find the right words. First, let's see what this puppy is about. Freddie (Joaquin Phoenix) is an ex-Navy guy who is now a drunk and a sex-craved lunatic who can fly off the handle at a moment's notice. But one day he meets Lancaster Dodd (Philip Seymour Hoffman), the titular Master, who wrote a book called The Cause that introduces a whole new cultish religion and/or belief system that is gaining both followers and controversy. Albeit wary, Freddie slowly becomes one of the group while continuing to fight his own demons... as well as Dodd's wife, Peggy (Amy Adams), who doesn't seem to agree with Freddie's inclusion in the cause. (And she may or may not be kind of the mastermind behind everything.)

This is definitely a character study through and through. The acting is brilliant in this film, and you're fascinated with what will happen next and how these characters will react. Unfortunately, to me... only one of these characters is all that interesting. Joaquin Phoenix gives a brilliant performance, and you never know what he's going to do next in the film... but I found myself not really caring about him as a character or his story. There was no empathy. Nothing. In fact, I couldn't even get into the movie until at least 15-20 minutes in after Hoffman joins the film. (For reference, the part that hooked me was the first interview scene between the two guys. Hands down the best scene in the movie.) But even then, the latter half of that scene eventually pulls away from Hoffman and puts more focus on Phoenix's background and this relationship with this girl Doris... and my interest began to wane again. Outside of Phoenix's random jolts of insanity, I just couldn't get into his character. It didn't help that he's incredibly hard to understand, at least in the first half of the movie. So, of course, Hoffman was the character I loved watching. I just wish it would have ended with... more.

And I think "more" is the main issue with the film. The story is incredibly lacking. Everything else is great, but the story just isn't there. It introduces so many points and never follows through. A character sets up an affair with Phoenix that never goes anywhere. Hoffman's son's ambivalence toward the cause is discussed in one scene but never goes anywhere. And there is just so much like that throughout. There's no payoff to anything. And I don't necessarily need payoff in everything, especially if ambiguity is done well. But here... I don't think it is. And when your film centers around the battling minds of two insane people, you would expect some kind of explosive ending, maybe something like the bowling alley in There Will Be Blood. Nope. The film just... ends. No real resolutions. No major conflict. No tension. It's just... a choice is made and the film ends.

The movie is even vague on its themes. Even discussing the film afterward with Tom Clift and James Blake Ewing, we had trouble figuring out just what this movie's intent was. What's its purpose? What's it trying to tell us? And I still haven't really come up with an answer. The best we could come up with at that time was a study in the extremes of insanity. You have the uneducated hot shot wild card with Phoenix and the more charistmatic, enigmatic, intellectual force of Hoffman. Otherwise, I'm not too sure. To me, though, the biggest potential draw is the idea that the majority of the film might not even be real. Early in the film, Phoenix's sanity is questioned when he's accused of having visions, to which he responds it was only a dream. And there were a handful of moments throughout the film that build on this (the female nudist gathering and the phone call in the theater moments, for instance). I guess when you're weak-minded (and/or insane), you can be swayed to see anything a certain way.

This is also a movie not to watch with Mother. It is an incredibly sexually charged film. Freddie is like a teenage horndog delinquent. He'll literally have sex with anyone or anything... age, relation, marital status, and the fact it's just sand does not deter him in the slightest. He thinks about sex awake and asleep, as we (again) do see some hallucinations he has. And don't forget a masturbation scene and a handjob scene. Oh, and this film is not above fart jokes, either. There is more than one in this movie.

Overall, this is a movie to see for its performances (and, if nothing else, that first interview scene which is just phenomenal). It's, of course, shot beautifully, as well. But the acting is where it's at. You're definitely not here to see it for a story. So if you need a solid story for your dramas, look elsewhere (though there is a fair bit of comedy, so that does help). I can definitely see this win awards for Phoenix or Hoffman, though I wouldn't go so far to say Best Picture. It just doesn't come all together for me in the end. There are a couple lines, I believe in the same scene and/or back-to-back, that pretty much sum up the movie... and I'm sure it was on purpose. The first is "I could fall asleep, wake up, and not have missed a thing." The second is "He's making this whole thing up as he goes along; don't you see that?" And I do see that.


I Am McLovin!

V.G. Movie #37: Tekken.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

So... another fighting game movie. This game came out in 1994 in arcades in in 1995 on the Playstation. The story of the game revolves around the King of the Iron Fists (Tekken is basically "Iron Fist" in Japanese) fighting tournament run by the owner of a major conglomerate. The winner gets *pinky to mouth* One billion dollars! One of the competitors is the estranged son of the man who runs the tournament, wanting vengeance. Apparently his daddy threw him off a cliff when he was 5 to test his strength or something. And then he made a deal with a Devil to survive and get the power to defeat his father. Years later he, of course, eventually beats him and throws him off the same cliff.

The second game picks up two years later where Kazuya (the aforementioned son) is now running the big company, making it even more evil and whatnot than it was before. But then an animal rights activist named Jun is sent to arrest him. And Heihachi, Kazuya's father, survived the fall and is training to defeat his son. So to get rid of his father, Kazuya throws another tournament. But when Jun finally confronts him, she's more in love with him than angry and ends up becoming his baby momma. Heihachi eventually reaches Kazuya in the tournament and, despite Kazuya being re-possessed by the Devil thing, Heihachi defeats him by throwing him into a volcano.

The third game picks up fifteen years later. Heihachi sets up a "Tekken Force" to protect his company and is responsible for a lot of the current world peace. But then a creature called Ogre appears and starts dispatching a lot of fighters. It targets Jun, knocking her son Jin--also the son of Kazuya--unconscious. He wakes up to find his home burning and his mother missing. He travels to Heihachi for help and training, though Heihachi has started feeling the need for world domination again upon the rise of Ogre. He trains Jin for two years and then starts the next tournament in hopes of bringing out Ogre. Jin eventually defeats the monstrous Ogre, but is shot down by Heihachi and the Tekken Force. Devil revives Jin, possessing him, and sends Heihachi plummeting down a long fall (which he survives). Jin flies away with some feathery wings. (Note: Many consider Tekken 3 not only one of the best games of the genre, but one of the best games of all time.)

And I think that's about as far as I need to go, since the film's primary character is a teenage Jin, so I would assume it only goes up to this point in the game series... you know, if it even has anything to do with the games... which I doubt. They almost never do. Though I've heard, at the very least, the film isn't that bad. So let's find out, shall we?

THE FILM

In the first five minutes, this film disregarded any story, character arch, and background the games have to offer. You know... all that stuff I just finished detailing after 10 minutes of wikipedia research? Yeah... ignored completely. In the future, WW3 has basically decimated the world, and now the world is run by a group of mega-corporations collectively known as Iron Fist. One of these corporations is known as Tekken, which resides in Tekken City. Jin (Jon Foo) lives in the slums outside Tekken City and is popular amongst its people as a former street fighter. But when his mother Jun is killed, Jin wins a "people's choice" spot in Iron Fist tournament so he can get closer to those he deems responsible for her murder--Heihachi (Cary Tagawa) and his son Kazuya (Ian Anthony Dale), the leaders of Tekken.

Even after only 10 minutes of background research, I feel offended at how absurdly different this is from the game's rather simple storylines. I mean, seriously... they had to try hard to change this up. I mean, on it's own it's not terrible. It's not original in the lightest, and it's a little dull, but it's not terrible. But they seriously went above and beyond to make this as different as possible from the games.

The writing is pretty crap, too. And not just the dialogue (which is silly and bland simultaneously), but character actions and motivations, too. And some really cheesy moments, too. (There's actually a scene near the end where a guy starts a slow chant of "Jin," followed by another guy, and then the entire crowd.) I couldn't really get behind Jin, either. He was an irrational hothead who, really, never learns much. And he blatantly cheats on his girlfriend with no repercussions whatsoever. Also... if Tekken wasn't already a fighter-to-the-death tournament, what's with Yoshimitsu? He's an armor-clad samurai dude who fights with a sword. I mean, first, that's not fair to anybody he fights against with all that armor if they're just trying to knock him out. Second, how's he going to just knock out his enemy rather that kill him if all he does is sword fight?

There's just not much I want to waste my time on with this movie. The action is decent, though nothing to scream about. But there's also no stakes. Every fight has no weight to it. Any character that you might have some connection to never fights another one. It's either two nothing characters or a nothing character and a major character, like Jin. So you either automatically know the outcome or don't care because it doesn't really matter.

This is just another bizarre example of a movie deciding its own story will be better than the source material... and it's really not. I mean, I guess with something like this, altering the source material can maybe work if what you have is really good. But it's not. And really, the only people--besides people like me--who will watch this movie are Tekken fans. But this movie isn't made for Tekken fans, because it's nothing like the games. So this film falls into the pit of "a movie made for no one." I think the best thing about this is the fact Cary Tagawa is in it (Shang Tsung, FTW), and he sports a ridiculous hairdo (which is taken from his game counterpart). Otherwise, not really worth it. Ignoring the fact it's a God-awful adaptation, it's not terrible, but not good, either.


Feed Me, Seymour!

The Vlog: Season 5, Episode 6 (Vlog Of The Living Dead - Part 2).

And here's the wrap-up of the 2-part zed word genre. I must say, this is one of my favorite "Previously On"bits... for reasons that will become obvious when you watch it. Also, one of my favorite editing jobs of the season is in this episode, near the end... though most of the credit goes to the camera persons for giving me what could have been otherwise incomprehensible footage and letting me have fun with it. Anywho, enjoy! And comment!

50/50 Review #36: Double Indemnity.

My first and until now only Billy Wilder flick was The Apartment... which I didn't care much for. I didn't hate it, I just wasn't all that impressed and thought it was a bit uneven. So when I discovered today's latest flick was Billy Wilder, I wasn't exactly jumping through hoops to watch it. But should I have been? This 1944 noir classic follows an insurance salesman named Walter Neff (Fred MacMurray) who, one day, goes to renew some auto insurance for Mr. Dietrichson (Tom Powers). But he's not home, and, instead, Walter meets the man's wife, Phyllis (Barbara Stanwyck). Lust hits them quick, and it's not long before Walter realizes Phyllis actually wants to put up accident insurance on her husband and then knock him off to get the money. Walter wants nothing to do with it... at first. And then he begins using his inside knowledge on how they can pull the perfect murder and get twice the amount of money using a double indemnity clause. And everything seems to work perfectly... until Walter's boss, Keyes (Edward G. Robinson), starts to suspect something and begins inspecting the case further.

So far Steve has been been off in his estimations on how I'd react to his suggestions. He thought I'd love Devil's Backbone. I thought it was pretty good. He thought I'd really like My Favorite Year... I didn't. And he thought I'd like this one alright, but that's about it. And yet again, he's wrong. I absolutely loved this movie. Like... added to Top 3 favorite classics kind of love. I might let it sink in a little more, but my gut reaction was putting it in my number 2 spot, right behind 12 Angry Men (which is my current favorite classic). There was hardly one thing about this flick I found bad.

The writing, first and foremost, was astounding. I was hooked by the time Walter and Phyllis first met and every single word that came out of their mouths were double entendres. And as the film went on and became darker, the wit slowed down, but the fantastic lines still rolled on. I loved lines like "how could I know that murder could sometimes smell like honeysuckle?" and "I couldn't hear my own footsteps; it was the walk of a dead man." There were so many fantastic lines in this movie that I could literally keep going for the rest of this review.

What really helped those lines, though, were the actors and the directing. At times, I was reminded slightly of His Girl Friday and the quickness of the dialogue and the wit that came with it. I loved not only the speed of the delivery, but how strong and meaningful all the lines in this film were. My copy of the film had an introduction before it, and the guy stated that this was easily the best performances in the careers of everybody who participated. I'm no classic film buff by any means, but Hell... as far as I know, he's right. Everybody did so well.

I loved the framing of the shots. There's an intense moment where Keyes is leaving Walter's place and Phyllis is dropping in, but they can't be seen together, so Phyllis is hiding behind Walter's open door with Keyes just on the other side. That's a great shot. I love the decision not to show the actual murder, but instead you hear it. And then all the shadow shots, which I suppose are usual for the genre.

The use of noir voice-over is so natural as it has a perfect, in-story reason for it to be happening. There are some nice twists at the end that caught me off guard. The reversal of the match lighting in the final scene. I know I'm gushing, and this doesn't make for a very entertaining review. If you want negative, the best I can give is that maybe there were 1 or 2 scenes that dragged for a minute or so too long, but that's about it. Great writing, great suspense, and just all-around great flick. I guess I kinda liked it.


Royale With Cheese