50/50 Review #39: Friday The 13th - Part 3.

Earlier this year for the list, I had to watch Part 6 of this series, and that was some goofy fun. But, interestingly enough, I was also given Part 3 to check out later the same year... and it's time to check it out. Granted, this one doesn't have the same positive reputation. And I'd actually seen bits and pieces of this one years ago, but never the whole thing. So what would I think? The film picks up right where the last one left off. Jason Voorhees survived and is now stalking a new set of crazy kids and wacky adults at a lake. And this time he gets a hockey mask. (Yeah... nothing much new here outside of this being the first time he gets his mask.)

The first 15 minutes are incredibly slow. It starts off literally at the end of the last one, and you see the climax again. This lasts about five minutes or so. But then for the next 10 minutes after that, we're introduced to this middle-aged couple who run a store near the farm by the lake. You know they're just there to be killed. But it's the longest build-up for a pointless kill scene ever. These aren't major characters. They have nothing major to do with the plot. They're nothing characters, and it takes them 10 minutes of way too much build up to have lame, boring deaths.

Finally, we're introduced to the main characters. I won't spend too much time here, either. The characters are stereotypes, sure... but they're practically racist. The Hispanic character, for instance, is feisty with her mother and doesn't have enough money to pay for groceries--all she has are food stamps. Otherwise, the characters, what they say, and everything they do makes no sense. Of course, I don't think it ever does in these kinds of films. (In fact, some of this brought me back to Cabin in the Woods... there was even a Harbinger!) Still, some of it had to do with the actual writing. In particular with the lead girl, Chris, if felt like there was so much cut out of the script or film. They talked about how she's been seeing and hearing weird things ever since they showed up at the farm, but they never showed any of it prior to her saying it. It just comes out of nowhere.

And then there's Jason himself. Jason bothered me in this... because he wasn't Jason. Jason Voorhees is supposed to be a big, slow, silent killer... you know, like high blood pressure. But more violent. And he's superhuman. But here, he's way too human. He's slowed down by books hitting him. He groans when he feels pain (more than once!). He moves quickly and stumbles about. Although he does finally get his signature mask in this film...

Let's not forget that this was originally in 3D... and boy does it show. The film just looks ridiculous in 2D, as it's painfully obvious where all the 3D gags were. There's even a minute-long (or so) yo-yo gag... for absolutely no reason other than to have a yo-yo at the screen. Or a random juggling scene. Long or sharp objects are often pointed directly at the camera. Stuff (like glass) flies at the camera when it shatters. There's something constantly playing at the 3D aspect... and it was just stupid watching it in 2D.

I will give it credit where credit is due, though. There were some moments that worked well. There's a scene where they think they're gonna get pulled over by the cops so they start swallowing the weed, and it turns out the cops aren't trying to pull them over. That was done well. There's a part where a biker gang siphons their gas early on. I completely forgot that moment until Chris tries to escape with the van and it runs out. That was given a nice setup and payoff. And there's a really creepy moment near the end where she opens the barn doors and Jason is just hanging there staring at her.

Otherwise... it's just kinda... OK. There's no nudity in the movie (did y'all give me the only two Friday the 13th movies with no nudity?). The violence in this movie is actually not really shown. There are a couple that are (the head squish was the best), but on the whole... most of it happens while the camera isn't looking. In short, the characters sucked. The writing was lame. The pacing was off in places, though it worked well in others. Jason wasn't very Jason-like. The 3D does not work in 2D. And it needed more blood and nudity. The film wasn't terrible, and parts of it were entertaining (especially when you pretend the Cabin in the Woods stuff is going on behind the scenes). I just wanted more from it. So I guess if you want a clear winner between the epic battle of Part 3 and Part 6... Part 6 all the way.


Feed Me, Seymour!