THE CABIN IN THE WOODS.

Very few expected this to be any good. How many modern horror movies are? Even as you first watch the trailer, it's just another silly teens-in-the-woods horror type. Then the second half of the trailer started... and there was something a little more to it. People became intrigued, myself included. And then the reviews started coming in, calling it one of the best horror films of the last few years, etc., and how you should go in as blind as possible. It soon became a must-see, and I went as soon as I possibly could have. But did it live up to the hype?

The Cabin in the Woods is about five friends--the 'virgin', Dana (Kristen Connelly); the slutty girl, Jules (Anna Hutchison); her buff boyfriend, Curt (Chris Hemsworth); his nice friend, Holden (Jesse Williams); and their stoner friend, Marty (Fran Kranz)--go to a remote cabin that Curt's cousin recently bought. But something dangerous is going on behind the scenes with two men, Satterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford), working for somebody that has seemingly a little too much power...

And that's all I'm gonna say. I agree with the others: go into this one as blind as possible, if you haven't already seen it at this point. To call this original is underselling it, I think. The story is intensely unique, and not since Scream has a movie taken its predecessors in the genre and lovingly kicked them in the balls. It takes everything you know of the genre and turns it on its head, playing with tropes and ideas. It's a smart film, a level of subtle meta that makes it more like an Easter Egg hunt of awesomeness than a "oh look how clever we are." But it's still pretty damn clever.

The characters are a big part of this, taking what are basically the dumb teens in every horror film and making you root for them, making you hate when any of them die. They are well written, thanks in part to Joss Whedon and his fantastic ear for dialogue, as well as his character building. I mean, nothing is overly complex about these characters. You're given enough to care, but not too much to the point where it feels forced. Let's not forget the "management" characters, who are also a hoot. There's a darkness to their actions, but it's almost always a light mood, with just that hint of desperateness.

This movie goes places you can't even begin to imagine, and the third act is just balls-to-the-wall insanity. (If excessive blood bugs you... you might want to steer clear.) The only downside is some CGI use, but it's only quick glimpses usually, and only for... things... that need it. Otherwise, it's practical all the way.

The movie is scary, intense, and really funny. It's an edge-of-your-seat kinda flick, and you never know when something is going to happen. The build-up is crazy, with scenes that have you cringing and twisting in your seat because you're expecting something, but most of the time it's just... playing with preconceived notions again. It's smart, clever, and amazingly original. If you're a fan of horror films, The Cabin in the Woods should be at the top of your list.


Royale With Cheese

THOR.

With all the big "superhero movies" coming out this summer, I knew my reviews were going to be just one in a crowd of thousands saying the same thing. I almost thought I shouldn't even bother reviewing them, considering the near-pointlessness of it. But then something happened. I was contacted by sources that will remain undisclosed that I would have the amazing opportunity to interview important people connected to the film. However, I was also told they don't like us to refer to them as movies, but rather biopics, considering how they're giving us the close-to-true stories of their own lives. So without further ado, I'll give you my personal interview with the god of thunder himself: Thor.

NICK: Thank you for speaking with me today. I know you're known by many names at this point. Do you have a preference?

THOR: That is correct. I am The Mighty Thor. Thor Odinson. The Thunder God. Donald Blake, MD. But I suppose you may call me Thor.

NICK: Well, Thor, I know when this mo--biopic--was first announced, there was some thought that it might not be all that "Mighty," so to speak. People haven't followed your life as much as other heroes. In other words, they didn't think the film would do all that well.

THOR: Yes, I have heard such things. Ignorant mortals think that just because nobody has heard of you that your life's story will mean nothing. But I am the god of thunder, for Odin's sake! Entire populations worshiped and feared me.

NICK: No offense, but that was a long time ago. And this film is based more on your serialized biography than the events themselves.

THOR: That is true. But the point remains, human, that there should have been no worry that my story would have been any less received. Just look at my friend Tony Stark.

NICK: Yes, that's a good point. Iron Man more or less exploded at the box office. Now, you mentioned he's your friend--

THOR: Correct.

NICK: --Well, I wanted to talk about your upcoming exploit The Avengers. I noticed quite a few nods to the upcoming, um, biopic in your film.

THOR: Yes! The Avengers is by far our greatest accomplishment, and we like to build the anticipation for this particular quest in our respective biopics.

NICK: Yeah. Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, and Iron Man 2 have already given us some insight, and Captain America is the last scheduled to arrive prior to the big one itself. However, do you feel that it's beginning to be too much? For instance, a lot of people disliked Iron Man 2 because of how it was more an Avengers prequel than a proper Iron Man story. What's to stop your story from falling into that same trap?

THOR: That is a good question. While Stark's second venture might have kept its focus on the Avengers aspect, my story is merely surrounded by it without being overwhelmed. For instance, if you have a good eye, you will notice a brief cameo by Hawkeye to set up his position in S.H.I.E.L.D. And if you pay attention, you will also note a brief, though unnamed reference to a Mr. Bruce Banner. Otherwise, only Agent Coulson--a man who has appeared in the other films--is a major connection to the Avengers storyline.

NICK: Yes, I did catch those things. I actually have to say I enjoyed the fact that it wasn't overwhelmed with Avengers storylines while still being there enough to keep it grounded in that universe. And speaking of universes, I'm curious as to how you thought this film portrayed your life story, or at least this part of it.

THOR: Ah, very well. It captured the beauty of Asgard and the dreary coldness of Jotunheim fantastically. Kenneth Branaugh, while sometimes using curious angles, did give us some amazing shots. He also managed to capture both the humor of situations and the complexity of my transformation from arrogant god to a calmer, more understanding being.

NICK: Yes, I agree there was some good humor, particularly from the lovely leading ladies. And what I thought was captured even more interestingly than your own complexity was the complexity of your brother, Loki. He's not your typical villain. I found his reasons for things he did were interesting and sometimes well intended, however misguided. You could tell he wasn't pure evil or even crazy; his motives came from a logical place, and his transformation was notable.

THOR: Yes! Villainous as he might be, Loki's tragic downfall was indeed captured well. He's not just some emotionless being.

NICK: The last thing I'd like to ask you about it the action. Do you think it showed you to your full potential?

THOR: Absolutely. From start to finish, I was shown as the fantastic fighter than I am. It is a true spectacle and quite fun, if I do say so. I have heard rumblings that the ending might feel anticlimactic between my brother and I, but I must disagree. While not as epic as the fight with The Destroyer, the fight with my brother was much more emotional on multiple levels and, thus, quite satisfying.

NICK: Well, I know you're a busy god. Is there anything else you'd like to announce before I let you go?

THOR: Keep an eye out for The Avengers next year. And stay tuned after the credits for another extra scene--it might not make much sense now, but I promise it will in the future.

NICK: Excellent.

THOR: This was a fantastic interview. You are a very charming human. I will make sure you do not die in any future battle.

NICK: Well... thanks!

THOR: Of course.

[Immediately after this interview, Thor was hit by a car. But he's OK. Promise.]


A Keanu 'Whoa'

A PERFECT GETAWAY.

I wasn't sure from the trailers if I wanted to see it or not (I like Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, and Timothy Olyphant), but then I found out it was written and directed by David Twohy, who also wrote/directed one of my favorite horror films, Pitch Black (and later The Chronicles of Riddick). It bumped up much higher on my list. And then I started reading really good reviews for it, which bumped it up more. So I finally went and saw this yesterday.

A Perfect Getaway (double entendre and all) is about newlywed couple Cliff (Steve Zahn) and Cydney (Milla Jovovich), honeymooning in Hawaii. Along the way they meet creepy hitchhikers, Kale (Chris Hemsworth) and Cleo (Marley Shelton). And not long after that, they meet the slightly strange, but mostly endearing couple Nick (Timothy Olyphant) and Gina (Kiele Sanchez). But then they discover that on the neighboring island of Oahu, there was a murder, and the police are looking for a man and woman couple as suspects. And with all three couples having been on Oahu on the day of the murder, it could have been any of them... though nobody's about to come out and point fingers.

The movie isn't the horror/slasher flick that the trailer makes it out to be. This film is more of a slow-burn paranoid thriller with the action picking up in the third act. And although it does make you second guess yourself on who you think the killer is, your first instinct is probably right. I figured it out just by watching the trailer... but that doesn't necessarily ruin a movie for me. I did the same thing for the film Identity, and I still really liked that movie. Though, while you might guess the whodunit, you might not figure out the whydunit. I felt that really helped bring it up a few notches to save it from overall predictability. The writing of the film was so detailed and great that everything is kept ambiguous and out in the open to keep you second guessing yourself, only to figure out later how all of those second guessing moments fit together with the plot. And, again, the WHY was so much more interesting than the WHO (I'd actually go out on a limb and say that David Twohy knew this from the start and focused on the story more than relying on the whodunit twist).

As for the actors, they all did a pretty good job. Milla Jovovich has some good moments, and Steve Zahn really does a bang-up job. The other couple (Marley Shelton and Chris Hemsworth) aren't really in the movie all that much, but they do an all-around decent job of being creepy. But the true scene stealer is Timothy Olyphant. Seriously, this guy really stole the show. He was charismatic, interesting, and sometimes a little strange. But he really pulls it off and becomes the real star of the movie.

Something else I really liked about the movie was its meta-qualities. It's a movie that talks about movies, as Zahn's character is a screenwriter. And, of course, like in Scream, there are things that are discussed about the genre at hand that must always happen (red herrings, the second-act twist).

As I said before, the movie is a slow-burner. It builds up the suspense and paranoia (and the clues) until the third act. And then, after the red herrings and the second-act twist, the movie really shifts into gear. And it really changes in all respects. The action in non-stop, keeping the adrenaline pumping until the end. Even the gore--as before this point, there really isn't any at all--picks up. It's not overwhelming for people who can't handle gore; it's not Saw-level or anything. The film also becomes rather stylish. There are some flashback moments that explain scenes earlier in the film, and then there are some other flashback moments that take us before that to do a bit of character building and other explanations. And all of these moments are done in a silvery overtone that looks pretty cool. Then, when the chasing starts, there's an awesome bit where the screen keeps shifting in these wipe-kinda things that looks really cool and was a great little bit of editing. And then the overall use of the camera in general.

Overall, the movie was very good. It had beautiful shots of the island, great camera and editing work, good-to-great acting, some really fun characters, and great writing with a surprisingly intriguing story (once it all comes to light). The only things I could point out as negative were that it is a slow-burn and therefore has moments that almost drag before picking up again, as well as that the movie is a bit predictable. But again, I think the movie and story was good enough to trump the predictability. So really, it was another good job by Mr. Twohy.

A Keanu 'Whoa'