COWBOYS & ALIENS.

Warning: This review has major spoilers. I try not to do that, but I couldn't help it for this one.

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Yes, there are cowboys. Yes, there are aliens. But how well do they play together? We're introduced to Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig), a former outlaw who can't remember anything--including his name. And he has a strange metal device attached to his wrist. He soon stumbles into a nearby town that's run with an iron fist by Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) and his good-for-nothing son, Percy (Paul Dano). He meets some of the other inhabitants, including Doc (Sam Rockwell), Meacham (Clancy Brown), Sheriff Taggart (Keith Carradine), and the sheriff's son, Emmett (Noah Ringer). He also runs into a mysterious young woman named Ella (Olivia Wilde) who is very interested in Jake's past. But just when things are rough enough as it is, them darn aliens have to show up and make things even more complicated by kidnapping half the town. Now those left are forced to team up and find the alien base so they can rescue their loved ones. But this is still the old west, so they also have outlaws and Indians to deal with, too.

When I first saw the trailer, I was surprised at how serious the movie seemed to be taking itself. You'd think a movie with such a title would appear to be a lot campier. But I (and others) held hope that maybe the trailer was a bit off and figured it would still be campier in the film. However, while there are a few goofy moments... the movie plays pretty straight faced. And maybe to its detriment, that makes it come off like two different movies shoved together.

On the one hand we have a pretty solid western. An outlaw with amnesia wakes up in the desert, strolls into town, and takes care of a thing or two before getting shown for who he is. They have to deal with the tyrannical ruling of the man who keeps the town alive and, thus, must put up with his son. Eventually it becomes an adventure film and they must face other outlaws and angry Indians along the way. I'm not a huge fan of the genre, but I did like the normal aspect of this film quite a bit.

On the other hand, you have War of the Worlds mixed with Battlefield Earth. Aliens invade, take people prisoner to study them, and their reason for being here in the first place... is that they want gold. Yes, that's right. Gold. But you also have a decent alien abduction story with a man who was taken along with his lover, accidentally gets a super-weapon attached to his arm, escapes, and helps fight back and destroy the invaders. It's actually not quite as strong as the western element, and there are parts of it that don't feel like they meld well.

Fortunately, everybody seems to be having a good time in the film. Well, Daniel Craig is relatively stoic as always, but everybody else seems to be having a good time. Harrison Ford is really good as the gruff tyrant-esque businessman/cowboy. My only real complaint about him is that his character arc has a notch missing somewhere in the middle. He starts as... not a good person. By the end, he's good. But there's somewhere in the middle when this transition starts that feels as if it missed a beat, some drastic moment that begins his change (besides his son being taken). And speaking of Paul Dano, he was hilarious in this movie. He was probably my favorite part, at least his interactions with Daniel Craig, and it's sad that he's not in it a whole lot. Though Sam Rockwell is pretty good, too. The one that kinda bugged me the most was Olivia Wilde. As soon as she was introduced, I felt she was out of place. And then I was like "she's an alien," because she--well--looked like one. Her head was bulbous in this movie. And what do you know...

I think the best thing I can say about this movie is that I don't feel like I wasted my time or money. I was entertained while watching it (though it is a tad bit too long). But as others have said, there's not a whole lot that's very memorable about it. I think that's in large part due to how serious it took itself. It didn't allow for camp or cheesy one-liners or epic dialogue. Had it loosened up a bit, I think it could have been a lot more than what we got. But still, it was entertaining enough.


Stop Saying OK! OK.

Thoughts On The (Original) Indiana Jones Trilogy.

As the new movie is coming out soon, Indiana Jones is all over the place. As I don’t own the movies on DVD or the like (as of now), I was fortunate enough to DVR the entire thing from USA Network during their marathon over this past weekend. Well, I just finished watching them for the first time since I was really little, and I believe my opinion is… not warranted… but I’m going to give it anyway. And I’m probably going to get steamrolled for it.

Now, I both can and cannot see why Mr. Jones was and/or is such a big deal. I can see how he might have a cult following, but not a super-huge blockbuster following. Because, honestly, the movies (specifically the first two) were badly made (except for the nifty shadow shots in all three). But before you get on me, please let me clarify.

Starting with Raiders of the Lost Ark, I must say that, at least by today’s standards, the acting is bad, the fights scenes can be good or bad, and the continuity is plain awful. To further explain the latter two bits, there was one scene in particular where Harrison Ford punches at a guy, CLEARLY misses, the guy reacts a bit late, and there’s an over-the-top punching noise. As for the continuity, there’s just too many to pinpoint. However, these things said, I had no problem suspending disbelief, and I thought the movie was really fun. I can totally see what made him an iconic figure, and why people loved the movie. It’s escapist fun.

The second movie, however, is a whole other story. It has similar issues with acting and continuity, but the biggest issues with Temple of Doom are Willie (the main female), the very over-the-top slapstick/physical humor, and the overall difficulty in suspension of disbelief. Willie was pretty annoying, basically screaming or complaining the whole time. And it doesn’t help that, randomly, about halfway in, Indy and Willie suddenly fall in love with each other, even though he couldn’t stand her minutes before. As for the slapstick, it is in the other movies, but I feel it just really didn’t work for this one. And I don’t know much about Indian culture, but while I was watching that dinner scene with the snakes and the monkey brains, etc., even I was like “This is absurd.” And then there were just some things that happen in this movie that I just couldn’t believe, even if it’s meant to be fantasy-like. The coolest thing about the second movie, though? Short Round. That kid was awesome.

So now we’re left with The Last Crusade. Well, really, this one is the best in the series (so far). The only things it had wrong with it were a few continuity errors, but nothing major. There’s slapstick/physical humor in this one, but it works. I think because Sean Connery is usually involved, and that man can pull off anything (“You’re the man now, dawg!”). The stuff at the end with going after the Grail and the three trials is great, and the dude aging super-fast is still creepy, even with the cheesy effects. Not to mention the action was really stepped up in this one. And it starts off with young Indy (R.I.P. River Phoenix) and shows how he came to get his iconic look.

So really, Indiana Jones is cool. He’s human, he has faults, but he’s also a funny badass with a whip. Though, in those respects, he’s also kind of a loser if you really pay attention. He’s only ever been able to keep one item that he’s ever gone after (the golden cross at the beginning of Crusade). The golden skull thing at the beginning of Raiders is stolen. The Ark is taken by the government. The diamond at the beginning of Temple is lost. He drops two of the three stones, and has to give the other one back to the tribe. And then he can’t take the Holy Grail with him at the end of Crusade. Not to mention he can’t seem to keep a woman (one dies, and two are never heard from again, at least until this next one where Karen Allen returns as Marion). But in all seriousness, the Indiana Jones movies (as of right now) are just meant to be escapist fun, and Indy is a great, iconic character played marvelously by Harrison Ford. I just think it’s interesting as to how he grew to the level of popularity that he did. And I’m still stoked for the next one.