PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES.

Unlike everyone else, I didn't absolutely loathe the second and third Pirates movies. Sure, they weren't as good as the first one, and all the Davey Jones stuff was just a wee bit too much, but they had their moments. I particularly liked the crazy, over-the-top sword-fighting sequences--mainly for their fun choreography. But with a new director coming in, would this fourth installment be even remotely the same?

This installment gives us almost sole focus on Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Because of his past with Angelica (Penelope Cruz), he ends up on the Queen Anne's Revenge, the pirate ship helmed by Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Blackbeard then forces Jack to help him find the fountain of youth. But he's not after it alone. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) is back and working for the British king, leading his men to the fountain, as well, bringing along Jack's first mate Gibbs (Kevin McNally), too. Along the way they meet some people, fight some mermaids, and have generally wacky adventures.

The first thing I noticed was that it was horribly clear this was a different director. Not only does the movie feel different, but Jack as a character feels off slightly. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's not necessarily a good thing, either. The film pulls back and tries to capture the charm of the first film, though it doesn't quite get there. And in the process, it loses even some of the better things from the two sequels. For instance, there are maybe 3 good sword fights, but only one is really all that memorable, and it's pretty early on in the film. The action in the movie is scaled back, which is unfortunate, as that was always my favorite part.

Also sorely missed are some of the more secondary characters from the first three films. And no, I don't mean Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. No, I mean the comedic duos (and often Greek Chorus) Pintel and Ragetti, as well as even the two British guards whose names I can't remember at the moment (that both become pirates by the end of the third movie, if I remember correctly). In fact, the whole of the Black Pearl crew is gone because, well, the Black Pearl is gone. It's a plot device--a really weak and overall unexplored one, but one that's there.

But the movie isn't all that bad. It's not all that great, but it's not all that bad. There's just nothing incredibly memorable about it. It's a fun time while watching, but afterwards it's just pretty decent thinking back. The mermaids are a lot of fun, though, to be honest. The whole mermaid sequence was pretty scary, actually, and unnerving. And then the use of the mermaids from that point on is interesting, even though the movie doesn't really go too deep into their mythology after the surface level.

Is Captain Jack back? Not completely, but he's getting there. My feelings on this film were almost equal to my thoughts on Fast & Furious (the fourth installment in that series, as well). It's fun while you're there, but there was a lot that could have been better about it. And hopefully, like that same series, a fifth will come about that will prove to be just as good as if not better than the original. If you're a fan of the series, this one won't hurt you. It's good--it just could have been better.


I Am McLovin!

(P.S. It's a weak McLovin, but between the few fight scenes we got, some good Jack humor, and the mermaid stuff, I think it was good enough to bump up from an OK to that score.)

CORALINE.

Take some Alice in Wonderland and mash it up with some Stepford Wives. Then have the incredibly imaginative and batshit crazy Neil Gaiman (Stardust, MirrorMask) write it out into a story. After that, snatch the guy who did The Nightmare Before Christmas (Henry Selick, not Tim Burton) and have him make it into a movie with a similar style. What do you end up with? Coraline. And yes, it’s every bit as weird as you think it is. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad, either.

Coraline (Dakota Fanning) is a bored little girl whose parents (Teri Hatcher and John Hodgman) neglect her. All she really has is herself, a neighbor named Wybie (Robert Bailey Jr.) whom she can’t stand, and his cat (Keith David). She also has some other crazy neighbors, including the possibly drunk Russian, jumping-rat-circus ringmaster Mr. Bobinski (Ian McShane), as well as retired theatrics performers, Miss Spink (Jennifer Saunders) and Miss Forcible (Dawn French). But then Coraline discovers a doorway to an alternate universe where her Other Mother and Other Father are pretty awesome, everything is fun, and the food is great. The only catch? Everybody has buttons for eyes, and if Coraline wants to stay in this creepy Wonderland, she’ll have to sew some into her own eyes.

The movie doesn’t really have much of a plot, per se. It’s more of a character study… with a lot of bizarre characters. At times I felt as if the movie was a bit all over the place, but by the time the climax came, everything tied together nicely. It's a nice little fairy tale.

I really don’t have much to say on the film. It had beautiful visuals, interesting music, and a good voice cast. It was funny, suspenseful, and just plain weird at times (but in a fun way). I saw it in 3D, which was a bit disappointing. The film didn’t take full advantage of the effect. Sure it had its poke-out-into-the-audience moments, but they were very few and far between. And there were numerous moments that weren’t taken advantage of that could have been great in 3D. But my favorite use of it, by far, was the tunnel between realms. Every time I saw that, it felt like I was really in the tunnel with Coraline, traveling with her to another world, and that was awesome. But besides all of that, I honestly can’t think of anything else to say. It was a fun time that I wouldn’t mind revisiting.

I Am McLovin!

(P.S. This was a difficult rating to give. I honestly had no idea what to rate it. If anything, it's a very high 'McLovin'. But the film as a whole didn't resonate deep within me, if that makes sense. So I really liked it, almost loved it, but not quite. Or something like that).

KUNG FU PANDA.

So I finally got around to seeing Kung Fu Panda, and it really was better than I thought it was gonna be. Po (Jack Black) is a panda that sells noodles at his father’s shop. He idolizes the five greatest kung fu warriors of the time: Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu), and Crane (David Cross), who are all apprentices of Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman). But when Oogway (Daniel Duk Kim) prophesizes the return of the evil Tai Lung (Ian McShane), he and Shifu realize it is time to announce the identity of the Dragon Warrior. In what seems to be an accident (though there are no accidents), Po is chosen as the Dragon Warrior, despite his lack of skill and overweight body. Much to the chagrin of Shifu and his five disciples, Po must now train to become the Dragon Warrior of legend and defeat Tai Lung.

First I want to talk about the voice acting. The only name I knew coming into this was Jack Black. Watching the movie, I immediately noticed David Cross’ voice, and recognized the voices of Jackie Chan, Dustin Hoffman, and Ian McShane, though I couldn’t place who they were. Actually, I thought the entire time that Ian McShane was actually Eddie Izzard, because they sounded awfully alike here. It was Shifu/Dustin Hoffman’s voice that drove me crazy the entire time, as I couldn’t place it. But when the credits began rolling and I saw all these big names, including Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen, and Lucy Liu, I was incredibly surprised. They all did a nice job.

The animation style was really well done, and I loved the little anime sequence at the beginning before it transferred over to computer animation. The action sequences were a lot of fun, even for a children’s animated movie. There were a lot of fun fight scenes, most of them happening back-to-back starting with the dumpling fight with Po and Shifu. And the final fight wasn’t too short or anticlimactic at all, as sometimes happens in martial arts movies. I thought it was just right.

The movie was also pretty funny and had me laughing quite a bit. Even by the time the ‘ska-doosh’ came around, I had a big smile on my face just because of the context of the scene. What I particularly liked was that the jokes weren't childish fart jokes, and the movie didn’t attempt to put in adult innuendo humor like Shrek to appease the adults. The jokes worked all around the board, and the movie didn’t even have to rely on slapstick non-stop, either. I was laughing from the opening anime scene with just Jack Black’s narration.

There’s not much more to say. It was thoroughly enjoyable, and I wouldn’t mind watching it again. It didn’t have to throw in a romantic subplot, and it didn’t have to have any crazy twist ending like most movies these days, and that was really a breath of fresh air. Just something simple and fun. It was a relatively linear plot, and mostly predictable, but the way it was done worked. I liked it. Awesomeness.

Royale With Cheese