Bad Movies. Bad Memory. Fun Times.

These are the movies that you saw ages ago (whatever bracket of years that might be for you), that are pretty bad movies in general when you think back, and you haven’t seen them since you were younger (for the most part)… yet you distinctly remember certain scenes and can’t help but smile. Most of the time they’re B-Horror movies, but there are exceptions. This is a list of 6 movies that take me back down memory lane. Some may be recognizable, some might not. Either way, gotta pay mad respect! … Or not.

Arcade (1993).

Who You’ll Recognize: Peter Billingsley (from A Christmas Story) and Seth Green.

Plot: A bunch of teens play a new virtual reality video game that really kills.

Scene(s) I Remember: Towards the end of the movie, the main female ends up going directly inside the main gaming unit to play the game from there. She has to beat the game in order to finally bring it down. There’s a scene within the game in which she reaches two Ferrymen, a liar and a truthteller, who she can ask one question to only one of them to help her find out which one will take her to the place she needs to go next. I remembered this scene because of the Liar’s Paradox and how mind-blowing the paradox actually is. The same paradox is also used in the movie Labyrinth with David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly.

Other: I’d love to see this movie again, just to see how laughably bad it really is, but I seriously doubt it’ll ever see the light of day on DVD.

The Gate (1987).

Who You’ll Recognize: Stephen Dorff.

Plot: A bunch of kids are left home alone for the weekend. After playing a record backwards, they unknowingly open a gateway to hell in their backyard and are then plagued by little demons and scary phone calls.

Scene(s) I Remember: I remember a few with this one. I remember the really creepy phone calls and I believe a melting phone. I remember the tiny little demon creatures and, of course, the incredibly large demon creature. I’m pretty sure they were all stop-motion monsters, which look incredibly stupid and unscary today.

Other: I remember parts of this movie being really creepy, like the phone call stuff. Though I think the ending of the movie with the stop-motion creatures would definitely ruin it for me now.

Pulse (1988).

Who You’ll Recognize: Joey and Matthew Lawrence.

Plot: Basically a ‘Ghost-In-The-Machine’ story in which a murderous pulse of electricity moves from house to house and possesses electronics and other household things in order to kill or wreak havoc.

Scene(s) I Remember: I remember a scene in which the pulse possesses a shower, somehow locking the woman in it, and turning up the heat to ‘magma’, boiling her alive. I also remember a scene in which I believe Joey Lawrence’s character is trying to go out a broken window or something, and it slams down on his hand, the glass going through it (if I remember correctly). Crazy stuff. I also think I remember a guy getting locked in his car and the pulse not letting the garage door open, so the exhaust got to him or something.

Other: Nothing, really.

House (1986).

Who You’ll Recognize: Nobody, really.

Plot: A Vietnam vet, now a horror novelist, comes spiraling down when his son disappears in his aunt’s house. When his aunt dies, however, he goes to live in the house for a bit. Unfortunately, the house is a bit demonic, and he must fight his way into finding his son again.

Scene(s) I Remember: I’m pretty sure both of these scenes I remember are from this movie and not the sequel. One scene is when the main guy breaks a mirror in his bathroom and finds a deep bit of emptiness. So he gets a rope and climbs on down, but is attacked by a bunch of winged demons. He ends up falling into a river in the middle of Vietnam or something, takes a deep breath, swims down, and comes up out of a swimming pool in his backyard. The other scene isn’t really a scene, but more of a character… the big skeletal war buddy comes back to exact revenge or something. I just remember them fighting each other and the skeletal guy ends up getting a grenade in him or something.

Other: I’m a pretty big fan of Horror Comedies these days, so I’d love to go back and see this movie again. It’d be a fun one, I think.

Guyver (1991).

Who You’ll Recognize: Mark Hamill.

Plot: A dorky kid accidentally bashes his head against an alien mechanism which merges with his body, allowing him to become a cyborg-like superhero.

Scene(s) I Remember: When Mark Hamill turns into a big lobster-creature and dies.

Other: This movie, as well as its sequel, is just so bizarre and freaky that it could be pretty cool. The creatures are just people in crappy suits, but The Guyver suit itself is just freakin cool. But what else would you expect from a movie based on Japanese Manga/Anime?

Howard the Duck (1986).

Who You’ll Recognize: Lea Thompson, Jeffrey Jones, Tim Robbins.

Plot: A duck from a parallel universe gets sucked to Earth and teams up with a singer and a scientist to try and stop an alien that is currently possessing another scientist from destroying the world.

Scene(s) I Remember: Oh man, what isn’t to remember about this movie? A bathtub with a naked duck with human-like breasts, a electric-charged Jeffrey Jones rampaging through a diner, and the big showdown at the end with a really bizarre-looking alien monster.

Other: Of course I had to mention this movie. This is like… the king of all bad B-Movies. I used to love this movie as a kid… but I have to say, I watched it again a few months back and realized just how God-awful it is.

Closing Words: If I think of more movies, I’ll create another post. This one was more dedicated to the horror/sci-fi genres. I thought of a few more, but they weren’t within either of those boundaries, so I didn’t include them. What are some of y’all’s movies for this kinda thing?