LKMYNTS: Excision.

I usually don't do this, but this Little Known Movie You Need To See comes with a warning--this film is definitely not for everyone. I've seen a lot of screwed up movies in my day, but this film actually had me going "What the... holy... !" To me, this film is like what would happen if David Lynch directed Welcome to the Dollhouse as if it were a French Extremist horror film. Now, my description will not come close to getting into the visuals of the film, but... just trust me.

The film follows disturbed teen, Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord). She is a total outsider--unpopular, frumpy, and overall unpleasant. She dreams to one day become a surgeon, as she's obsessed with blood and biology. She doesn't seem to care for much except for her younger sister, Grace (Ariel Winter), who has Cystic Fibrosis and isn't doing all that well. Unfortunately, her mother, Phyllis (Traci Lords), is an overbearing, short-tempered nutcase, and they don't get along at all. Even her father, Bob (Roger Bart), is overpowered by his temperamental wife. Her mom knows there's something wrong, but she won't pay for a professional psychiatrist, so she sends Pauline to their priest (John Waters). And she also butts heads with her math teacher (Malcolm McDowell), sex ed teacher (Matthew Gray Gubler), and principal (Ray Wise). The film follows the family drama through Pauline's eyes as she tries to survive on a day-to-day basis... but her mother just makes her psychological problems worse and worse.

Now, you might be thinking "This doesn't sound that bad." Well, I have yet to mention the bizarre, Jodorowsky-esque dream sequences of her glamorized self in gory or sexualized (often a mixture) situations. Or the fact she has wet dreams/orgasms to the thought (or dreams) of sexing up dead or dying bodies in puddles of blood. Or any number of other mixture of blood and sex that happens throughout this film. And then there's the third act, which I won't spoil.

The acting in this film is phenomenal. Of course, AnnaLynne McCord totally sells this psychotic teen persona. But what's great about it is that while something is definitely wrong with her, you can tell she also just wants to feel loved and accepted, and her mother could easily help turn things around if she just tried (or had the mental capability of trying). This is truly a mother/daughter story, and both are basically sociopaths in their own ways. And none of it would work if it weren't for Traci Lords, who acts the hell out of this movie. You want to strangle this woman from scene one. To bring in a Harry Potter reference, she would be like what would happen if Delores Umbridge was a mother. Traci Lords makes the role work, though, and doesn't take it over-the-top of like something from Mommy Dearest. Everyone else is good, too. It's fun to see John Waters as a priest, and Malcolm McDowell as the math teacher is funny. Ray Wise is just goofy.

Though the thing that I haven't mentioned yet... is that this is a comedy. A very, very, very, very dark comedy, but a comedy nonetheless. There are situations of pure drama, and everything in this movie is pretty horrific--particularly the ending (and no, it's probably not what you think). But even if you look on IMDb, its first genre billing is comedy (then drama, then horror). And I can see that. It's definitely more of a dark dramedy, as it's not really your laugh-out-loud, knee-slapper kind of fare. But the dark humor is there, and it can be awfully amusing at times, despite the fact the people you're watching are, at times, despicable and/or psychotic.

If you're a fan of twisted, bizarre, or just plain screwed-up films, this is one you need to check out. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I watched it yesterday (as of this writing), so it's definitely a conversation piece. People declare it as a new type of horror film, and I can see that. It's drama-horror, which is something you don't really see. The closest comparison I can make is We Need To Talk About Kevin, but way more extreme and unsettling (and, at times, amusing). Do not see it if you have a weak stomach (it's not like Saw or Hostel or anything--it's not "torture porn"--but there are some pretty disturbing images nonetheless). Do not see it if you're easily disturbed. But if these things don't bother you, definitely check it out. The acting alone is worth it.

A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. I just wanted to mention the make-up job they did on AnnaLynne McCord was amazing. Here is a picture of her normally. Here is a picture of her in the movie. Seriously.)

LKMYNTS: The Cinema Snob Movie.

It's no secret that I'm a fan of the That Guy With The Glasses website. Through them, however, I discovered Brad Jones (aka The Cinema Snob). Strangely, his Cinema Snob videos are the ones I watch the least on his site--I actually prefer the stuff where he hangs out and goofs around with his friends. But for those who don't know, the character of the Cinema Snob is a fake movie snob who pretends to be a pretentious film lover, but reviews some of the worst films (usually exploitation and bizarro porn) that are available. And Brad's knowledge of b-movie and exploitation directors will rival anyone's. So when he announced that he was doing this film where he gives the character's origin story, I was intrigued but not overly excited. Then I saw all the behind-the-scenes footage and eventually the first trailer, and I knew I had to see it.

The film follows Craig Golightly (Brad Jones), an exploitation film screenwriter, is working with his friend Neil (Jake Norvell) to fund their newest idea--a blaxploitation flick called Black Angus. But when the biggest film hotshot in town, Dan Phillips (Ryan Mitchelle), refuses to fund them, they have to turn to a rich high school companion of Neil's named Gene (Noah Antwiler). And he even gets him a legitimate black guy to star as Black Angus, a street-wise albeit cultured theatre actor named Vladimir Jackson (Orlando Belisle). Unfortunately, Vlad is contracted under Dan, who also lets Craig know that he can't film his movie even with Gene's funding because Dan owns shooting permits in the town. So Craig has to change his look and go undercover into Dan's pretentious film club and get in good with them before asking for the shooting permits. But soon after Craig begins getting close with a woman in the group, Nancy (Jillian Zurawski), everything starts getting a little... bloody.

Even as somebody who is barely familiar with the character and the regular show, I found this easy to follow. You don't need to know any background or connection because, smartly, Brad Jones wrote this so that anybody could watch and not be lost (while still keeping in jokes for the long-time fans). Unless you're a hardcore b-movie fanatic and trivia junkie, a lot of the references will go over your head (as they did mine), but that's part of the joke itself, and it works. And if you do get the references, I'm sure that makes it even better, so it works all around.

So the writing is quite smart. The film itself acts as an over-the-top commentary against pretentious film snobs, an issue I've dealt with plenty in the past (and returned the favor in my own way with my now famous Troll 2 review). One of the characters in the climax of the film brilliantly rants about how not all films are created equal, and you should not judge and criticize certain films on the same scale as the more arthouse and Oscar-bait types. They're not made for the same reasons. Some movies are just made to be fun. You don't go into a gore film and complain that you didn't like all the gore. You don't watch a b-movie and then hate on the acting. That's not the point. And this film truly explores that well, even to a meta degree. I don't mean to get pretentious here, but the early part of the movie references Kaufman, while the second part of the movie takes a very Kaufman-esque turn in that what it's referencing and toying with is exactly what it becomes. And I love when stories do that.

And then you have the acting, which I think is fantastic. The film turns out some really fun performances. Jake Norvell's Neil is such a goofy character, and I started laughing any time he showed up simply because he was always eating something different every time he appeared. Noah Antwiler's Gene had some great lines and stole every scene he was in. Though, hands down, Orlando Belisle stole the entire movie. He's actually not in it much, but his character was hilarious in his conflicting nature (the way he talked and acted versus what was actually coming out of his mouth). And he had one of the biggest Kaufman-esque turns in the movie, as well (though to, I admit, a surprising/unexpected result). Jillian Zurawski plays an almost anti-Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She's quirky, but in a realistic "fuck hipsters" kind of way. (And you get to see her topless. Just throwin' that out there.) And I'd be remiss if I didn't at least mention Ed Glaser as one of the side characters of the film club--he's hilarious just by facial expressions, and he gets even funnier when they finally talk to him. Finally, Brad continues to show how he shines as an actor, and he's easily able to carry the film.

If you're a fan of low-budget movies, b-movies, or exploitation movies... or you just get frustrated with pretentious film snobs... definitely check out this film. At the moment, it can be bought through Walkaway Entertainment (where you can also find the trailer if you'd like to see that, as well). It also comes with a commentary by the filmmakers and producers (and Jake), a cast commentary, and a comedy RiffTrax-style commentary by That Guy With The Glasses creators Doug and Rob Walker. And a blooper reel. It's a smartly made and pretty funny film, and it looks great for low budget. If it sounds interesting, definitely check it out.


Royale With Cheese

LKMYNTS: Archie's Final Project.

Stop reading this and just go watch the movie. It's on Netflix Instant Streaming, at least as of this writing... OK, you back? Yeah. We can get into it now. I want to talk about the story, but I feel it wouldn't do anything justice. Here goes, anyway... Archie (Gabriel Sunday) is a teen boy who loves movies, has ADD, is a virgin, has no friends, and is rather depressed. His video tech class announces that it's time to begin the final projects, and Archie announces to the class and everyone that he's going to film his own suicide. He then begins to film everybody's reaction to this and the journey it takes him on. The journey just so happens to take him in the direction of Sierra Silver (Brooke Nevin), a popular rich girl whose brother recently died and has sent her into a massive depressed state, as well.

It's not a big-name cast, but there are some people you might recognize. One of the biggest names here will be David Carradine, who plays a poet/writer/underground filmmaker whom Archie interviews. At one point Archie sees a counselor played by Tony Hale, and he eventually sees a psychiatrist played by Joe Mantegna. Archie's mom is played by Nora Dunn. And there's another boy in the school played incredibly well by Michael Welch, who is best known as Mike Newton from the Twilight flicks. Everybody's acting, especially Gabriel Sunday and Brooke Nevin, is magnificent from start to finish, and there's not a single person not used to their full potential in their given roles.

But this movie's highlight isn't the acting, really. No, it's the style. I've never seen anything like this movie. It's like a stream-of-consciousness inside the mind of a movie-loving, depressed, ADD teen. It's something totally unique that I couldn't even begin to explain it. I mean, the best I could do would be this: Take Bang Bang You're Dead (and change the topic from school shootings to suicide), Quentin Tarantino's knack for referencing other films, Edgar Wright's insane kinetic editing, the mile-a-minute style of Run Lola Run (including random animation), some visual cues from a Morgan Spurlock documentary, the originality of an indie film, blend everything together and multiply it by about five. Then you might have some idea of what this movie has to offer.

But unlike a lot of movies that are this stylistic, it has enough substance to match toe-to-toe. This is an intensely emotional film, one that might even bring some to tears. It definitely has a message and power behind it. The characters are strong, as well, able to carry the weight of the film on their shoulders. So while you're catching all the movie reference (and there are a lot... I mean, there's even a moment where he's whispering to himself "His name was Robert Paulson," and if you're not listening, you'll totally miss it), you're also being served an intense and solid film on every other level.

This movie is the type of movie that makes you go "This is why movies are made." Is it a cinematic masterpiece to go down in the history books? Probably not. But the imagination and love and heart and emotion and time that went into the making of this movie is clearly evident. This is not another film just put out quickly to appease the masses. It's art without being pretentious. It's a film with a unique vision and an important message, and I think it should be a film everyone--especially film fans--should see at least once.


Royale With Cheese

(P.S. It also has a really good soundtrack. You can enlarge the poster and see a listing of bands.)

LKMYNTS: The Thirteenth Floor.

It's been quite a while since I've reviewed something that wasn't on the 50/50, on the V.G. Movies list, or a new release. But this had been on my instant queue for a while and I finally decided to check it out, and it was interesting enough for me to want to give it a shout-out. 1999 was the year of both The Matrix and eXistenZ, both similar flicks of the same year... so it's easy to see why this one ended up flying under the radar, having neither a major cast nor director. This flick follows a computer programmer named Douglass Hall (Craig Bierko) whose boss and friend, Hannon Fuller (Armin Meuller-Stahl), ends up dead... and the final call he made before his death was to Douglass, a call that just so happened to have been erased from his answering machine. Detective Larry McBain (Dennis Haysbert) is on the case, and all clues point to Douglass as being the killer. However, what their company had been working on was a virtual reality world that takes its user to the 1930s, and Douglass knows Hannon left a message for him in that world. So working with his partner, Whitney (Vincent D'Onofrio), Douglass must try to piece together what happened... which gets even more complicated when Jane (Gretchen Mol) shows up claiming to be Hannon's daughter.

The film starts off very rough. It's only moderately interesting at the get-go and it really doesn't start to pick up steam until after the murder mystery aspect starts up. In fact, I didn't think I'd even really like the film as a whole for a while. But once Haysbert shows up it starts getting a little more fun. And then things get even more interesting when Gretchen Mol appears and the mystery takes its first twist. Even still, it's a slow build in the first half of the movie, keeping your interest just enough but not exactly wow-ing you with too much.

The story takes a few twists and turns as it goes along, as should any good mystery. But despite some of the bigger reveals being obvious (at least to me), I found the film still really engaging by that point that it didn't matter. In fact, I have to give the movie props for doing a major reveal at the end of the second act rather than the end of the movie, which added a whole new part of the story to explore. And whereas some of the aforementioned similar movies might explore themes of spirituality and reality, this one brings it closer to home and explores themes of life, existence, and purpose. Do these virtual world people have souls? Are they just as real as the rest of us, in essence? I really liked that aspect of the movie and how some characters might respond to that.

The acting was decent. It wasn't anything super fantastic, but it wasn't bad. It was nice to see people acting multiple personalities (since virtual world people are based on real world people... or something like that). So Craig Bierko has to act a few different ways, and he pulled it off well. D'Onofrio was, well... D'Onofrio. And he's a lot of fun, especially toward the end of the movie. The best in the flick, though, was Dennis Haysbert, who plays his detective with a real snark to him that was cool.

In the end, I know I mentioned The Matrix earlier, but I'd say this is moreso a lovechild of eXistenZ and Inception. Maybe not the action of the latter, but definitely some shared concepts. As I said, it starts off a bit rough, but after maybe 15-20 minutes, you should be at least relatively invested in the flick. If you haven't seen it and you like the ideas and concepts presented in those other films, definitely check this out. It's not as stylish, but it's still fun.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

LKMYNTS: Franklyn.

Warning: While this review does not contain spoilers, the cast/character list alone on IMDb does. If you're planning on watching this, I'd suggest avoiding its page.

---------------

Man, talk about a movie that will leave you thinking. I love it when I come across movies like this--ones that very few people have heard of, but more people should really see. I guess that's why I do this type of review, huh? This film is a split narrative, giving us 4 seemingly unconnected stories. First we're introduced to Jonathan Preest (Ryan Phillippe), a young man in a futuristic dystopian city called Meanwhile City. In this town, every individual belongs to a religion--except Preest, the lone atheist. Preest acts as detective and vigilante to take vengeance on a man called The Individual who is responsible for killing a pre-teen girl he was supposed to protect. The other 3 narratives of this film, however, take place is modern day London. Next is Milo (Sam Riley), another young man whose fiance decides to leave him right before their wedding, and now he tries to reconnect with an old flame. Third is Emilia (Eva Green), a depressed artist whose newest project deals with her recording her various attempts at suicide, erstwhile dealing with her uncaring mother. Finally, we're given Peter (Bernard Hill), a man who is out looking for his lost son.

Franklyn is the type of movie for your Donnie Darko and Stay crowd (which is ironic, since Ewan McGregor was originally attached for Phillippe's role--now that would have been interesting. Also of note, Paul Bettany and John Hurt were also originally cast as the two other characters but had to pull out. The only original cast member to stay was Eva Green). Anyway, back on point. This movie will mess with your head in a couple ways. First and foremost, you will wonder what any of the four stories have to do with each other. Then you'll wonder if the movie is going anywhere. Then you reach the third act, and that's when the film punches you in the face.

It's a movie that makes no sense and absolutely perfect sense. Reading up on it afterward, there are three types of people who watch this movie. There are those that watch it and don't understand it whatsoever. Then there are those who watch it and understand it just fine and have no idea why everyone else is having trouble understanding it; however, they just get it on a surface level, able to put the basic clues together and just say what was happening with the film's story. Finally, there are those who attempt to dive deeper, to take the movie apart and try to put it back together, wondering what every little thing meant--what each character symbolized, if certain characters were even real or not, what the themes of the film were, who the *beep* is Franklyn, etc. You can put me in that last group, because while I (think I) understood it on the surface level, there is just so much more to this film than that.

It's a film that explores living with or without faith--in any kind of way. Is it justifiable to be atheist? Does having faith make life easier? Does having too much religion cause more harm than good? It's also a film that explores the boundaries of mental health, and how one brings oneself to survive and cope when everything about you is fighting back hard. And then, eventually, there's a question of fate and, if there is a God, does He make it so everything truly happens for a reason? Is there always order in chaos?

At the heart of this movie are its four stories. Unfortunately, this is also the biggest negative of the film. As I said earlier, you have no idea how these stories connect or where this movie is going for probably the first hour. The fourth story (the dad looking for his son) doesn't come into play for a while, either, and it's a bit jolting when you all of a sudden have another storyline to follow that doesn't seem to fit anywhere. Of course, the best and most intriguing of the stories is the one that doesn't fit the most--the dystopian future. I would have watched an entire movie based on that one scenario alone. Don't get me wrong, the other stories are interesting (and they certainly end up taking you in a direction I can assure you that you probably didn't see coming). But the movie itself plays to one of the themes of its characters--order in chaos. When everything doesn't seem to connect for the bulk of the time, and then you end up with--well--what you end up with, it gives you a journey that might just be more about the destination than the journey itself. Some people will like that. Some won't.

Fortunately, everything else is there to keep you glued. The acting is great on all fronts, particularly Eva Green (who is gorgeous). Ryan Phillippe is kind of a Rorschach character, though thankfully he doesn't try to aim for the gravel in his tone. There's a little there, but it's nowhere close to, say, Bale's Batman. On top of that, this movie is gorgeous to look at. The cinematography is beautiful, and there are some sharp contrasts between dark and bright colors (though not too bright) that are played with at times (particularly reds and greens). Yet at the same time, it has a gloomy feel. It's a hard look to describe, but it works well.

I'd definitely recommend checking this one out (it is currently on Instant Streaming). It's a movie that makes you think about not only what's going on, but about its deeper meanings. If you do watch it, my one bit of advice is to stick it out. You might at times start questioning what the point is, but it all eventually comes together--so stick it out. I think it's very much worth it. I definitely need to check it out again. I think it's gonna be one of those I like even more the more I watch it.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

LKMYNTS: Get Over It.

What's this? A Ben Foster movie I hadn't seen? Needless to say, it hit that Netflix Queue quickly. And it was certainly interesting. I wouldn't say this is a movie you "need" to see, but it is little known, and it's good enough. This movie is essentially for Midsummer Night's Dream what Easy A was for The Scarlet Letter. Berke (Ben Foster) is on the high school basketball team, but otherwise he's pretty much a loner. That is, until his childhood soul-mate, Allison (Melissa Sagemiller), moves back into town. They hit it off for a year... and then Allison breaks up with him because, basically, she's bored. Berke goes into a depression, and his friends Felix (Colin Hanks) and Dennis (Sisqo) try to make him feel better. Unfortunately, in the process, they reveal that Allison has hit it off with pompous, British, boy band singer Striker (Shane West). He's also talked Allison into trying out with him for the school musical version of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which is being put on by the self-centered and flamboyant Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates (Martin Short). Of course, Berke immediately wants to try out, as well, not completely realizing at first that it's a musical (and he can't sing)... or how difficult Shakespeare is. But who comes along to help him out is theater student and best friend Felix's little sister, Kelly (Kirsten Dunst). And, wouldn't you know it, Kelly starts to fall for Berke while he's trying to get back with Allison who is hooked up with Striker, though Berke also begins getting feelings for Kelly... all the while Dennis is trying to get with Kelly's best friend, Basin (Mila Kunis). Also in this film are Zoe Saldana as Allison's best friend, Swoozie Kurtz and Ed Begley Jr as Berke's parents, Dov Tiefenbach (who is one of those "that guys" to me), Colleen Fitzpatrick, a young Shawn Roberts, and even cameo appearances by Carmen Electra and Coolio.

Who the hell isn't in this movie? Let's start with the cast. When I said Sisqo, yes... I meant that Sisqo. He did this movie right before his one-hit-wonder "The Thong Song" made it big. This was also, apparently, Kirsten Dunst's first music outing, and her song appears in the soundtrack. And acting wise, she does well. And she's very pretty, so that helps. I mentioned earlier a similarity to Easy A (despite this one coming out years before), and there is more than one. Besides having a "well, this is a crazy cast" vibe, the certain "mentionables" are exactly the same. In Easy A, the ones most talked about in reviews were her parents and the teacher. It's the same here. Berke's parents are, similarly, very laid back and "hip" parents who don't do any form of punishment, even if necessary. In fact, they're often inappropriate with their responses (at one point, after picking Berke up from being arrested at a sex club, they offer to take him out for yogurt or let him go home so he can "polish the rocket"). But the true standout of this film is undeniably Martin Short as the drama teacher. He actually had me laughing out loud. You can tell almost all his lines were probably improv, with Martin coming on set and just going crazy. Hell, I'm not 100% positive he didn't just show up on set and start acting--not even supposed to be in the movie. There's even an entire blooper reel on the DVD that focuses on him, and you can see all the cast struggling not to laugh during takes (Mila Kunis fails the most). But then, of course, you have Ben Foster who--despite being the main character--is listed second under Kirsten Dunst (though she was a bigger name). He does just fine with his character. I wouldn't say it's my favorite performance, but I think that's more on the director not knowing what he was going for than anything.

Which leads me to my first complaint. The movie feels scatterbrained. It can't seem to focus on what it wants to be. You know how Easy A was stretched a hundred different ways but still found a way to make it work? Imagine if it struggled more with it, and you'll get an idea what I'm talking about. This is a pseudo-musical, though only one song is in true musical-fantasy form (and it's at the beginning, almost as if in parody to musicals). There are cartoonish moments with thought bubbles with Martin Short. There's gross out humor (though very rare). There's slapstick... and more. It couldn't find a clear grasp on what kind of comedy it wanted to be, trying to put in laughs for every kind of audience... except maybe fans of dark humor. This is a very light film. Take, for instance, that the writer's previous effort was She's All That, and the director's next film was Ella Enchanted. Though, believe it or not, this was actually edited down from an R-Rated version, which I might have liked more. Maybe that was the problem. You can tell this movie was edited down.

I might as well continue with the Easy A comparisons. Like that one where they're reading The Scarlet Letter and her story has similarities, this movie has them performing Midsummer Night's Dream while the story has similarities. Now, despite being an English teacher, I've not read all of Shakespeare's works, including this one. I would actually like to, eventually. However, I know the general story and characters, though maybe not all their personalities. This brings me to my point: Allison is a bitch. She treated Berke like crap in their break up, and all he wants to do is get back with her at all costs. Granted, the movie is called Get Over It.

I've made plenty of Easy A comparisons throughout this review, but the fact is... Easy A is much better. That's not to say this movie is bad. It is really entertaining. But the script needed to be tightened up a bit, as it tried to have too much going on, never giving enough time to all of them to bloom (they should have cut the basketball subplot completely, as it never gets enough screen time, and it never comes to fruition. There's no purpose to it). Though whether it's attributed to the script or to Martin Short, his character is fantastic, and he would be the primary reason to see this movie. But fault lies partially with the director, too, not being able to stay with a certain feel or tone--granted, this might have been fixed in the full, R-Rated version, so I have no idea. If you're a fan of Ben Foster, moderately quirky comedies, "modern Shakespeare" films, Martin Short, or (yes) Easy A, I'd recommend checking it out. It's no masterpiece, and it's pretty predictable, but it's a fun way to spend an hour and a half.


I Am McLovin!

LKMYNTS: Hide And Creep.

This is a gloriously low-budget zombie film. And I mean low-budget. The movie is about a small town in Alabama that gets overrun by zombies. It follows numerous characters, including a young video store owner named Chuck (Chuck Hartsell); a man who wakes up naked named Michael (Michael Shelton); a group of redneck friends named Keith (Kyle Holman), Ted (Chris Garrison), and Ned (Eric McGinty), all of whom belong to a self-made hunting club; a church reverend (Barry Austin); the sheriff's secretary named Barbara (Melissa Bush); and a couple others.

Now, it sounds like there are too many characters, but it handles them all pretty well. The best characters are definitely Chuck and the hunting trio (particularly Keith). I watched this film a couple years ago and loved it, but then immediately forgot what it was called. But I always remembered those two characters. And now that I've recently remembered it (and bought it via Amazon, despite it being available on Netflix Instant Streaming), I can watch it whenever I want!

Of course, the movie does have problems. Due to its incredible low budget, you already know the acting isn't gonna be all that grand. Luckily, the type of humor is very dead-pan. They act like a zombie outbreak is just an everyday occurrence, and they just wanna get back to what they were doing (like watching a football game). I love that kind of humor. Because of this, the acting can be overlooked at times due to the purposefulness of the unrealistic or over-the-top performances. The only other real issue is minimal blood and gore. Oh, there's blood and gore in the movie, but the camera had to cut away often from the violence, most likely due to not having the budget for good special effects. But what we do get to see (particularly a head bite about halfway into the film) is actually really decent.

On top of the humor, the movie has love going for it. Let me explain. You can definitely tell that this movie was made by fans of not only the zombie subgenre, but film itself. Of course there are jokes and references to Romero, but it goes beyond that. There's some nearly Kevin Smith-eque conversations (minus the vulgarity) about films like Evil Dead, Dead Alive/Brain Dead, and even a random Citizen Kane joke. This writer is truly a fan of film and the genre, and that's one of the things that really drew me in to the movie.

If there were any other minor negatives, it would be that the movie just kind of ends. Nothing big or fancy. No huge climax. There's a bit of an "oh no!" moment, but that's about it. It just... ends. It's not complete unsatisfying, though. There's also a couple jokes that are more for Alabamians than anybody else, but they're few and far between. Overall, it's a hell of an entertaining movie if you're into low budget zombie comedies.

Otherwise, I totally recommend the movie. It needs some more love. It's not a ROFL movie or anything, but it's amazingly clever and smart, and it'll get some constant chuckling at the very least. And if it helps at all, there's nudity (and not just the one dude).


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. I don't agree, however, with the poster that says it's even better than Shaun of the Dead. It really good... but it's not that good.)

LKMYNTS: Spiral.

For this Little Known Movies You Need To See, I give you Spiral. It's (semi-)directed by the same guy who made Hatchet, and it stars the same guy from that, as well (actually, I think this one is moreso directed by said actor as his debut, with help from the previous director). And it's nothing like Hatchet. This movie is about Mason (Joel Moore), a extremely introverted painter with an anxiety disorder who works for an auto insurance telemarketing company. All he eats is peanut butter, apples, and milk. All he paints is women in apparently the same poses. He only has one friend in the world, who also happens to be his boss, Berkeley (Zachary Levi). After a devastating event where it seems Mason might have killed someone, he becomes plagued by nightmares and hallucinations of a waitress that tend to send him into panic attacks, forcing him to grab his inhaler. But then he meets Amber (Amber Tamblyn), a friendly new employee with an interest in getting to know Mason better. Slowly, they become closer and Mason even opens up a bit more... but Amber doesn't realize how extreme Mason's psychological problems are.

The best thing about this movie is how it keeps you guessing. You might think you've got it figured out, but it will still throw you for a loop. In fact, the ending totally makes the movie. And even after you learn the supposed truth, it's still ambiguous enough for you to look at clues throughout the rest of the movie that could negate even that. It's a total mind-freak. It's a very well-written movie.

And on top of the writing, the acting is superb. Between this, Hatchet, and Avatar (he was the jealous scientist friend), I'm going to really be keeping an eye on Joel Moore (he was also in Dodgeball, but, well, yeah). He's very disturbing in this movie, and you never know how he's going to react to something. I also hardly recognized Zachary Levi. I've only seen one episode of Chuck, but he looks completely different, and his character is totally different. Especially in the latter half of this movie (and the ending), Levi is great. And then you have Amber Tamblyn, who portrays pretty much the perfect girl. She's goofy, quirky, fun, pretty, and incredibly patient. She's almost too patient, actually. I actually wondered at a couple points why she was even bothering with Mason, who at first doesn't even seem to want to give her the light of day and is incredibly socially awkward. Anyway, what I find funny is how this movie is populated primarily with TV actors (there's even an appearance by Tricia Helfer of Battlestar Galactica), yet the acting is (sometimes infinitely) better than most Hollywood movies out there.

If there's anything negative about the movie, it's its slowness. The beginning is incredibly slow and slightly repetitive. It takes a while for you to get into the movie or care about what's going on. But once Mason starts to open up to Amber, it gets better. It just takes a while to get there, like I said. But totally stick with it--it's worth it.

One last thing I want to bring up is the poster. I noticed this while looking through movies to watch. There are at least 2 other movie posters that look exactly like this one. Well, technically, this movie's poster looks like the others, as the other movies came out first. Still, get some originality here. Check out the one up above for this movie, then check these out:
















Anyway, definitely check this movie out. You can find it on Netflix Instant Streaming. There is great acting, great writing, and a mind-bender ending. Just stick with it if you think it's starting off slowly, though. Oh, and I didn't even mention the soundtrack. There is a ton of jazz music throughout the movie as Mason is a huge jazz fanatic. He's always listening to jazz records, so you hear it that way, but you'll also hear it as part of the actual soundtrack as well. Even if you don't particularly like jazz, you'll learn to like it within the movie.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

LKMYNTS: Altered.

I always knew that rednecks would be the threat to the apocalypse...

I love finding little known movies that turn out to actually be good. It makes me feel that I'm actually a step ahead of the movie crowd for once. It's especially fun to find horror movies, because that's such a closely watched genre with such a huge fan base that it's nearly impossible for a gem to slip by unnoticed. So, needless to say, I was a bit wary going in to Altered, figuring it was probably pretty much crap. Boy, was I wrong.

The movie starts as 3 redneck friends--Cody (Paul McCarthy-Boyington), Duke (Brad William Henke), and Otis (Mike C. Williams)--are hunting something dangerous in the middle of the night. Well, it turns out to be an alien (the monstrous kind), as they had been abducted and tortured 15 years before, when the aliens killed their friend, Cody's brother Timmy. Once the alien is captured, they take it to the house of another childhood friend, Wyatt (Adam Kaufman), whose girlfriend Hope (Catherine Mangan) is also living with him. Now, Wyatt was Timmy's best friend, and after Timmy, Wyatt was the most experimented on... and he's immune to a lot of stuff the aliens throw at him, as well as having a few extra special abilities over the aliens. Unfortunately, as they soon start to discover, maybe the aliens didn't let one of their own get caught on accident... and they can't kill it, because that would begin the annihilation of human kind.

The best thing I can say about this movie is that it is incredibly original, especially for an alien-horror movie. Most of the time with aliens, you're dealing with some type of invasion or abduction or something like that. This is totally different. The abduction happened years before the movie starts, and the invasion is the threat if they're not careful. It's essentially a hostage movie, where the hostage is highly dangerous in numerous ways, and at least one of the hostage takers (the stereotypical, stupid, hot-headed redneck) is all about killing it right then and there.

The movie is incredibly tense, and it sets up the mood early on. The pacing is perfect, and it never lets you go once you've started. Everything takes place at night (except the very end), so everything it dark and mysterious, where creatures can jump out at you at any moment. The suspense level is pretty good. I'd also heard, before going in to this movie, that it was incredibly gory. So I'm watching and watching and there's no gore, and hardly even any blood and HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD. I'll just say 4 words: tug 'o war... intestines. That scene is hardcore crazy (and brilliant).

The acting, from what I read, was people's biggest complaint. But I didn't see any major issues with it. Granted, I had just come off of a week of straight Uwe Boll films, so anything could have looked Oscar-worthy in comparison. But still, the only one who really seemed to overact was Cody, playing a pretty roughneck kinda guy. Though he does, surprisingly, have a good moment near the end. Besides Cody, the characters were pretty likable, and they weren't your stereotypical rednecks. Again, that was pretty refreshing.

But there is some negative. First, the alien looks ridiculous. If you've ever seen Dragonball Z... essentially, the aliens are Saibamen. Seriously, I about burst out laughing when I realized the comparison. They're Saibamen with super-sharp teeth. Luckily, you don't have to deal with seeing it directly too often. The next big issue... Hope, the girlfriend. The character had potential, but was mainly used as somebody to whine and bitch. And then the ending comes, which doesn't make any sense character-wise, I don't think. But oh well. I heard the creators already have a couple sequel ideas, which they wrote up at the same time they created this one, and they sound pretty cool (expanding on the idea of Wyatt and his abilities to face off against the aliens).

There's really not much more to say. I forgot to mention that this movie was made by the same guy who directed The Blair Witch Project (don't worry, there's no real shaky cam). But that does explain the movie's ability to build suspense and keep it tense. I really recommend this movie if you're into horror or the alien subgenre. It's pretty original, at the least. And if you're a gore-hound, the aforementioned scene is awesome.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

LKMYNTS: TiMER.

I wasn't sure what I was going to think going into this movie. I'll admit I do like a good romantic comedy, despite them all pretty much ending predictably. But on top of the incredibly high Netflix rating and a decently high IMDb rating, it had an interesting Sci-Fi twist to it. Oh, and it starred Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

TiMER takes place in essentially a modern-day Earth, but where a couple decades before, people invented an object called, creatively enough, a timer (for the sake of sanity, I'm not gonna continue with the capitalization thing it does throughout the rest of this review). The timer is installed on the wrist of a person's dominant hand and counts down to the exact day that person will meet his or her soulmate. Now, this doesn't mean said person will fall in love on that day. It's just the day they'll meet for the first time--they can even be enemies at first, but they'll always eventually end up together.

Oona (Emma Caulfield) has had her timer since she was 14, which is the youngest legal age you can get one. But, strangely, her timer doesn't have a countdown, which means her soulmate hasn't gotten a timer of his own. Obsessed with "just knowing," she'll date guys a while and take them to get their own timer. And if the timers don't match up? Well, that's that. According to Oona, there's no point in continuing to date the guy--he's not her soulmate. On the other hand, Oona's step-sister Steph (Michelle Borth) has a timer that has a countdown telling her she won't meet her soulmate until she's into her 40s, over a decade away. And both women are driven crazy because of their respective timer issues. Though here's where they differ: Steph is up for some meaningless sex with strangers to take the edge off, while Oona would rather stick around for "the one."

Enter Mikey (John Patrick Amedori), a much younger guy who works at as a grocer that flirts with Oona one day. Oona, going against better judgment, eventually goes back and asks Mikey out (in so many words). Long story short, they end up in a relationship that Oona believes is just doomed from the start, but which Mikey is fine with, as he slowly falls in love with her. As he declares, life is about the detours. Also enter Dan (Desmond Harrington), who plays as Steph's love interest, despite Steph wanting to try and set him up with her sister instead.

OK, well, that was a lengthy plot summary, wasn't it? And I didn't even discuss Oona's family (primarily her brother). Her brother plays out a pretty thematically vital subplot. He has just turned 14 and gets a timer installed on his wrist, which declares he'll meet his soulmate in 3 days (to the annoyance of Oona). But I'll get back to themes after while.

First I want to talk about the overall film. I know I generally save this for the end, but this really isn't your typical Rom Com. I mean, the formula is definitely there, and you can see the 'big twist' coming a mile away. But other than that, this movie has a crap load of heart. It's very realistic with practically everything it does, from the emotions to the dialogue. It's been a while since I've seen a movie that balances its profanity so perfectly. Most comedies, particularly this genre, tend to do one of two things: 1) Use profanity excessively for humor or 2) Stay pretty far away from it and keep relatively clean. This movie is in the middle somewhere. It's there, but it isn't common. It's very real life, where people just talk normally and say something profane every now and then instead of every other word. In other words, it's used right. And it was incredibly refreshing, despite the fact that profanity has never bothered me, even in excess. But similarly, the character actions were very real, too. There wasn't any over-the-top moment. There weren't any romantic cliches, like the forgiveness in the rain. Everybody had a fault--the guys and the girls. It's just... the movie felt real. I'm not exactly sure I'm getting my point across in this paragraph, so I'll leave it at that.

The acting is really good. Nobody was even remotely bad or annoying. I particularly liked the actor who played Mikey, and I hope to see him in more things in the future. Desmond Harrington, you you might recognize as Quinn in Dexter, plays a pretty good character in this movie. He's very likable. But the one thing I just have to comment on is the reunion of Anya and Halfrek. For those of you who are looking at me like I'm crazy, Emma Caulfield played Anya in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Kali Rocha played her best demon-friend, Halfrek. Both actresses are in this movie, though Kali Rocha has a pretty minor role. Still, them both interacting is fun, especially the beginning when Kali's character asks Oona if the man she's with was "another potential." I'm not sure if it was intentional, but that seemed to be a funny little nod at Buffy.

So let's get back to the themes of the movie, because they're pretty blatant. Mikey has a good little speech at one point. He says that the timer basically takes away every path, giving you only one, but that life is about the detours. This line is huge in the grand scheme of the movie, but I'm not sure in what way. Basically, the movie sets itself up as a film about choosing your own destiny, following your own path and your own heart, and that life and love was more than just what some little bit of plastic told you it was. Now for my, and most other people's, biggest issue with the film:


(MAJOR SPOILERS)



The ending. In the end, Oona goes with the timer, not against it. This means she doesn't choose Mikey, which goes against the Rom Com standards. I can consider this a good, original thing. However, it also seems--on one level--to go against the themes of the film. After all that, the brother decides to continue forth with his young love, and Oona kinda goes against her sister's feelings by going with the timer, also leaving Mikey. Especially considering a scene not long before the ending where Oona's step-mother (I suppose you'd call her) explains how her timer didn't match with Oona's father's, yet she loves him so she's with him anyway.

However, on the other hand, the movie was also about the "detour," as Mikey had explained previously. In essence, there was a very Once-esque feel to it. Oona knew the relationship wasn't going to work from the beginning, but continued with it, making it one of the best 'detours' of her life. In that sense, the ending works perfectly. But still, there's something about it that bothers me.



(END SPOILERS)


Despite that issue, the movie was nearly perfect, particularly for its genre. It was incredibly charming, and you can't help but just smile while you're watching it. It felt very real and not contrived at all, like most Rom Coms these days. Not to mention the very idea of the timer and how it effects people's decisions was great to look at from a psychological point of view (and the movie does play at that). Anyway, I definitely recommend it. It's very unique and quite original. And if you have Netflix Instant Streaming, you can find it there.


Royale With Cheese

LKMYNTS: Lo.

Apparently, most people found this film via Netflix suggestions with high ratings and watched it through Instant Streaming. Count me in on that list. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. In some ways I'm glad, but in others... I would have liked a forewarning.

Lo tells the story Justin (Ward Roberts), a boy who summons a demon named Lo (Jeremiah Berkitt) to help him find his girlfriend, April (Sarah Lassez), who just recently got kidnapped by a demon herself. Justin is unable to leave the confines of his very small pentagram circle, while Lo plays mind games with him on the outside, unable to enter... which is good, considering Lo would quickly make a meal of Justin, whom he has renamed "Dinner."

The movie sounds like a horror film, but it isn't. Sure there are some pretty creepy elements, but for the most part, this film is a dark comedy... a very dark comedy considering that most of the film takes place in a pitch black room. Seriously, the film begins as Justin lights the candles around his pentagram to begin summoning Lo, and all you can see is Justin and the circle. Throughout the film Lo will create mental projections (from Justin) that are showed as cheesy stage plays off to the side (more on those in a minute), but besides things like that, the set is pretty simple.

The stage plays, as I mentioned, are kind of off to the side of the black room... or area... or whatever it is. They're supposed to be reenactments of scenes from Justin and April's relationship. But what makes them funny is how cheesy they are--from the cheesy acting to how the actors will go "off stage" and smack a behind-the-scenes worker if they're not doing something right or not paying attention. And these moments are really fun.

The highlight of the film, however, is the demon Lo himself. From the way he looks to his snarky comments to his ultimate twist at the end of the movie, Lo is a fascinating creation. His looks are amazing. The costuming and makeup department on this film did a phenomenal job. He was creepy, disturbing, and realistic. The actor that played him, as well, did a great job. The voice fit perfectly, and the way he said the lines, going from "RAR" to snark with almost no transition, was hilarious. Whenever Lo wasn't on screen (and there are times, sadly), I was always wanting him to come back already. And, as I said, there is a twist near the end that pretty much caught me off guard (as the whole point of the plot is trying to figure out Lo's game toward Justin and why he's acting the way he is).

But the film is not without its downsides. There's quite an infamous scene, apparently, that most viewers either love or hate. While I didn't abhor it, I was definitely on the more negative side. There's a scene where a waiter takes quite a few minutes dancing around as he's making a drink. For those of you who watch Nostalgia Critic, the whole time all I could think of was "BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!" It was just so random and I couldn't help but feel there was absolutely no purpose to the scene. Thankfully, there was purpose to the drink being made, but still absolutely no purpose to the stupid dancing. Also, there were some Comedy/Tragedy drama faces during the "play" scenes that were a bit too cheesy and over-the-top. And not to mention the "this is going on a bit too long" musical number from a second demon in the film (and, unfortunately, it seemed all the costuming budget went to Lo, as the second demon looked lame in comparison). However, the positive far outweighed the negative, as these bizarre moments of the film were few and far between.

Overall, the film is essentially a stage play on film. Seriously... it could easily be portrayed on a stage (a few things tweaked here and there, of course, to help with the same actor having to play more than one part at a time, such as during the "play" sequences). But it's a unique film that is really fun and entertaining. The character design is great. The acting bounces between cheesy and really good (but I think it was intentional). The comedy is good. And there are actually some really creepy moments. Some people complain about bad dialogue, but it didn't really bother me, to be honest. If you're up for a really good dark comedy about demons that's in a limited, dark setting with a fair amount of (purposeful) cheese, definitely check this one out. While I can certainly understand it not being a film for everyone (and even how some of the aforementioned negatives can outshine the positives for some), it's one I definitely plan on checking out again (and again).


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. How cool is that poster?)

LKMYNTS: Pontypool.

I'd heard about this movie here and there, but I didn't know anything about it beyond the title. But recently I was looking for a new movie to check out that I might enjoy but hadn't exactly heard all about. A Little Known Movie, as it were. And that's when I stumbled upon this film. And I'm so glad I did. The best way to describe it is as a zombie movie... without zombies. It follows a controversial radio host, Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie), who had just been recently fired from a big job and is now working in the small town of Pontypool. He works along with Sydney Briar (Lisa Houle) and Laurel-Ann Drummond (Georgina Reilly) at this tiny station. But not long after they start their day, they start getting word of a riot at a doctor's office... and then how the rest of the town starts going crazy and killing each other. They slowly learn that there's a virus being transmitted by the English language using trigger words that turn people into crazy, murderous beings. So now they're stuck between going over the radio and figuring out what's going on or staying off the air in fear of transmitting more of the virus.

The movie could easily be split into three parts. The first part, which is the first 20 or so minutes, is kinda boring and could have been maybe 5-10 minutes shorter. It introduces us to the characters, which is nice, but then it just keeps going with nothing of importance happening. But if you can make it through the first 20-25 minutes, you're golden.

Because that leads into the second part, the middle 40 or so minutes that is a lot of the best parts of the movie. This was inspired by Orson Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast hoax. No visual horror is shown during any of this, and it's some of the creepiest stuff in the whole movie. It forces you to use your imagination by just listening to people calling in to the radio station and describing things. There are totally intense parts during this segment, even if you never see a thing.

Then you have the third part of the movie, the last 30 or so minutes. This is where the actual visual horror comes in. The crazy people show up at the radio station, there's a small amount of gore, and it shows all the survival and hiding and all that. This part of the film is pretty good, as well, especially the ending.

Now, you can't call these things zombies. Even the writer and director both said they aren't zombies. They call them "conversationalists." These things go through stages of forgetting words, then incoherent babbling, and then all-out destruction. And I love the reasoning behind what can cause the virus with the language and all that. And it's great when you know a couple trigger words, but you see certain characters not hearing the words because they're focused on something else going on at the moment.

There's some good comedy in the film, mostly from Stephen McHattie, whose character is a bit of a douche, but in an endearing kind of way. And I loved his voice--perfect for the radio host. And apparently he's reprised his role from an actual radio transmission that they did in the UK a la War of the Worlds (via Orson Welles). And that transmission is actually included on the DVD, which is pretty cool. So if you've got an hour to kill, you can actually just play the audio of the radio play and listen to that (it's pretty much the movie, but without the other bits not broadcasted).

Overall, the movie isn't perfect, but it's still really good. I'd definitely recommend it, especially if you like a more old-school imagination-necessary type of horror film. It's a very talky film, but it keeps you engaged. Good movie, good acting, good suspense, good creepy factor, good ending... and even the credits are cool, because over the credits you hear radio broadcasts and whatnot have the after-effects of the Pontypool outbreak. Though after the credits, there's a very strange and seemingly unrelated clip that really doesn't make any sense, especially in the context of the movie. But besides that, the movie is really good.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. I actually just realized this movie was directed by the same guy who did The Tracey Fragments, which I just finished watching via Netflix maybe a week ago... review forthcoming... but a completely different type of film (this one's better).)

LKMYNTS: Cypher.

While he hasn't done that many movies, Vincenzo Natali is quite an underrated director who needs a big break. But then again, I'm not sure how (or if) Hollywood would appreciate his odd style. Like many people, I discovered Vincenzo with Cube. I then went to Nothing, which was almost too strange and out-there. And then I heard about this film, which is probably the closest he's gotten to mainstream (mostly due to having an ending that actually has closure and isn't mind-bending).

Cypher is about Morgan Sullivan (Jeremy Northam), an average man who gets a job with a high-tech corporation called DigiCorp as a spy, changing his name to Jack Thursby. They send him around the country to boring conventions to spy on their rivals, Sunways. But at these conventions, he keeps running into a sexy femme fatale named Rita (Lucy Liu), who begins to show Morgan that there's more to this than there seems. She warns him that he must remember that he is Morgan, not Jack Thursby, and she gives him help in the form of both advice and other (medication, shots, etc.) that help him see what's really going on with DigiCorp. And what follows is a twisty, turny espionage thriller (with a twist of sci-fi) about mind control where you can never be sure who to trust and who is telling the truth.

This movie is a total mind-freak. It's slow to start, but interesting enough to keep you involved. But eventually, it just starts going all-out and you have no idea what the hell is going on anymore (I mean, the film is completely understandable, it's just you're never sure who to trust, much like Morgan himself). There are so many twists and turns in this film, it's ridiculous. Is DigiCorp really evil? Is Sunways good, or are they playing Morgan just like DigiCorp? Who is Rita? And is her boss to be trusted, or is he yet another person he may or may not be able to trust? Needless to say, it's almost literally an insane ride.

The acting is really good, too. At first I thought a couple parts were questionable, but as it turns out from what you discover later... well, let's just say even the acting makes sense in how it was done. Jeremy Northam looks like a strange blend of David Duchovny and Tim Blake Nelson (and one more I can't place). He plays well going from the giddy new spy to the 'wtf have I gotten myself into' guy. Lucy Liu was great as the femme fatale, as well. Quite a bit different than what else I've seen her in as of late. And then there's David Hewlett, who is to Vincenzo Natali as Johnny Depp is to Tim Burton (except without being too over-exposed). He does really well as usual... sorry I can't be more specific here, but his role really isn't that huge. It's fun, though.

For such a low budget film (for its genre, anyway), as are all Vincenzo Natali films, the special effects were really good. I swear, Natali needs to teach filmmakers how to do more with less, because he's mastered it. From Cube to this, he can make completely engaging films with so little budget (this film was only made with 7.5 mil).

Overall, I really recommend the film if you're into spy thrillers, 'near-future' sci-fi, identity confusion, or just mind-freak films in general. It's certainly one heck of a ride. There are a ton of twists, some easier to see than others, and a satisfying ending.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

LKMYNTS: Ink.

I haven't done one of these for a while. I suppose it's because I've mostly watched more bigger name films than smaller as of late. But I'm always on the lookout for relatively unknown films with good-to-great reviews. Such was Ink. It's hard to describe this movie. The best I can say is MirrorMask meets What Dreams May Come meets Donnie Darko meets Dark City. In other words, it's stylish, deep, and only occasionally makes sense.

This movie introduces a new mythos, one where opposing forces fight over the subconscious realm. There are the storytellers, those who give the sleeping masses good dreams; on the other end, there are the Incubi, those who give nightmares. John (Christopher Soren Kelly) is a successful businessman on the verge of a major win. But things begin to spiral out of control when his 8-year-old daughter Emma (Quinn Hunchar) falls into a coma. Emma falls into a coma because Ink, a creature attempting to become an Incubi, kidnaps her spirit (or something like that) to sacrifice to those that want her. A group of storytellers must team up with Jacob (Jeremy Make), a blind Pathfinder, to find Emma and bring her back to the living realm before it's too late and her body dies.

The movie is so many things, it's incredibly hard to give my thoughts in a cohesive manner. Let's start with the negative: it moves a bit slow in its first half. It isn't until Jacob shows up that the movie really starts to pick up, but it's not until a little after that where it really grabs you and refuses to let go. You really have no idea what the heck is going on for what is essentially the majority of the movie, leaving you in this perpetual mind freak and confusion.

Granted, it all comes together nicely once they actually start giving you some viable dialogue, story, and character development. The characters are compelling, and the new mythos of this dream world is engaging and interesting. The visuals are magnificent, as well. They aren't as overt and strange as MirrorMask (except maybe the Incubi), but they're interesting enough to keep you intrigued. And even besides the visuals, the movie is stylish. From the fight scenes to the camera work, we're given some interesting choices. And the movie plays with light, making almost every scene seem dreamlike, whether it's the real world or the dream world.

So besides the movie all seeming dreamlike, it also plays out of order. Some scenes, especially those with the father, are shown more than once, sometimes from a different perspective. One of my favorite scenes is the "chain reaction" scene involving Jacob, in which he reveals what makes him so special (and it's a scene that is shown more than once in the movie). And speaking of Jacob, I wish there was more of him in the movie. He was by far the most interesting character. He was quirky and fun, while keeping just enough mystery to not get boring.

The ending threw me for a loop, and I had to do a bit of searching to figure out what the heck happened, but once I did, it all made perfect sense. It's a great ending (once you realize what it all means and that it isn't some strange paradox). Overall, this is one of those movies that, like MirrorMask, I think I'll grow to love even more the more I see it. It has a good story, good acting, great visuals, good action, and great imagination. And it's not just me. With a near 7-point score on imdb and a 90-something percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, I can pretty much say it's not just me loving this movie. So while I'm sure my score will go up upon future viewings, I'm going to score it for how my initial viewing left me.



A Keanu 'Whoa'

LKMYNTS: 10 Items Or Less.

I bought this movie on a whim a year or two ago at a Hollywood Video closeout sale. It seemed interesting and had Morgan Freeman in it, so why not? When I first watched it, I wasn't underwhelmed, but I wasn't overwhelmed, either. I suppose I was just whelmed. I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it, in other words. However, I just rewatched it for the first time since then last night, and I have to say... I really liked it this time around.

The movie is about an image-obsessed, out-of-work actor (Morgan Freeman) who has been out of the game for 4 years. But now he has the chance to star in a low budget indie film by a young, first time director. He'd be playing a grocery store manager, and being the method actor he is, he wants to visit the same kinda store he'd be in for the movie and research the part. But while he's there, he takes more of a liking to one of the cashiers, Scarlet (Paz Vega), a young woman with a short temper and her own problems to deal with. But when his ride doesn't come back to pick him up, and he forgets his recently changed phone number, he's forced to ask Scarlet for a ride home. But in the process, he forms a friendship with the young woman that he'll never forget.

First, the movie is riddled with great actors, and I'm so surprised it didn't get a bigger release. Of course there's Morgan Freeman and the incredibly underrated Paz Vega. But there's also a fun cameo by Jonah Hill at the beginning as the guy who gives Morgan Freeman a ride to the store. And then there's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it appearance by Leonardo Nam (AKA the best thing in 2004's Breakfast Club heist film, The Perfect Score... as well as a few other films). There's another brief though funny cameo by Danny DeVito and his wife Rhea Perlman.

But really, Freeman and Vega are the heart and soul of this film. Paz Vega, especially, is magnificent. She takes to the role with such a raw emotionality that you really feel for her and her life struggles. Morgan Freeman, of course, is Morgan Freeman. He's awesome. But the humor he adds to the role with his little notes on how people act everyday, or anytime he talks about looks, either his or others. His fascination with the lower- and middle-class world is almost reminiscent of, say, Arthur Weasley's fascination with muggle inventions. Walking into your neighborhood Target is an adventure. And if you were shocked by Freeman's F-bomb in Wanted, you'll be speechless in this film. His language isn't gratuitous at all (not like Travolta's recent turn in Pelham 123). It's all very natural, a rarity with cussing in films.

And that's a really good thing about this film. It's very natural. The story feels like it could happen. While you might not get a visit from an A-list actor wanting to follow you around anytime soon, the characters felt real--again, especially Paz Vega's Scarlet. And the strangest thing about all of this is that it's written and directed by the same guy (Brad Silberling) who directed such films as Casper, Lemony Snicket, and the very recent Land of the Lost. It's like this film doesn't even fall into the same realm as those movies... in story, acting, quality, you name it. I haven't seen all of his films, but I don't think I would be remiss to say this one is his diamond in the rough.

The only thing about this film is its length. The movie is a short 82 minutes, but I think it works... for the most part. I wouldn't have minded seeing more of these characters, but then I feel it could have gone on too long for no reason. The point of the film is the relationship between its two stars, and the relationship does span its course. It has a beginning, middle, and end point. Though the end is simultaneously depressing and heartwarming, which is strange. But on the whole, it worked.

The only other thing to mention that I liked about the film was its meta qualities. If you pay attention, you'll notice that anything Morgan Freeman says about acting or characters or any of that almost always correlates with what's happening in the movie. So it's almost like he's talking about films in general while the film he's in is doing exactly that. And, to me, that's something pretty smart I didn't catch the first time (there was also a lot of humor I didn't catch the first time). It's all very subtle, though.

So I recommend going out and at least giving this a rent and see what you think. The acting in it is brilliant, and the comedy should get a few chuckles out of you. I have no idea why this didn't do better or why Paz Vega isn't a bigger actress (at least in America). It's not like she's ugly. She's like the (lesbian?) lovechild of Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz... on that note, I, uh... gotta go.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

LKMYNTS: The Gamers: Dorkness Rising.

This is one of those movies you're either going to love or hate. And that all depends on how open minded you are. If you have to have Michael Bay-level special effects and action... you'll probably hate this. But, say, if one of your favorite parts to Role Models was the live-action RPG scenes, you'll love it. This movie is about as low-budget as they get (Napoleon Dynamite looks big budget in comparison). And those are most of the reasons people seem to dislike it... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Kevin Lodge (Nathan Rice) and his friends love Pencil & Paper Role Playing Games (RPGs), especially Dungeons & Dragons. Lodge is the resident Dungeon Master (the one who runs the games), and he's come up with his own world and campaign that tends to... play with the rules a bit. This really ticks off the other gamers, including Cass (Brian Lewis), Gary (Christian Doyle), and Leo (Scott C. Brown). Cass, especially, can't deal with Lodge's rule bending, as it keeps getting everybody killed... and he refuses to not win a campaign. So the group goes out to recruit new members to help before they try the campaign again--for the third time--though all they can get is not only a "female," but a complete newbie, Joanna (Carol Roscoe). And she also happens to be Cass' ex-girlfriend. So now that they have all the players, they decide to make up new characters to get through the campaign (without using "player knowledge"). Cass plays a "Western" Monk; Gary plays a chaotic "neutral" female wizard, and keeps forgetting he's a woman, so the character is shown as both the normal actor and another (Jennifer Page); Leo decides to forgo his warrior types and try out a Bard (how different could they be?); Joanna creates her own warrior woman... with high charisma and speed and low Hit Points and strength; and Lodge goes with a holy Paladin, who all the others see as a "babysitter" so they can't do anything wrong or whatever Lodge doesn't want them doing. But the trick is... can they get through the campaign without wanting to kill each other in real life, too?

I know all that sounds really nerdy, but outside any random MST3K episode, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. I laughed harder at this than I did at The Hangover, which itself was a very funny movie. Actually, I started off really worried with the opening scene thinking "what have I gotten myself into?" However, thankfully, you grasp what's going on pretty soon, and the movie picks up considerably after the opening scene. But here's the question: do you need to be a gamer or have knowledge of the gaming community to "get" this movie? I don't think so. Especially because of Joanna's character, the movie is very "newbie" friendly. Rules are explained clearly, so you'll get most if not all of the jokes. Sure it helps if you've played (or at least watched somebody else play) at least one game of D&D. It gives you some perspective on the film that adds a whole other level of comedy to it (because you can relate so much easier to these people).

I got so many flashbacks watching this movie, it was great. Guys playing females and forgetting what gender they were... guys always wanting to seduce other characters... characters who are one orientation ("chaotic neutral"), but act another ("chaotic evil")... DM's using paladins as babysitters... rule nazis... rolling epic fails (1)... and so much more. This is a movie made by gamers for gamers (or previous gamers), but non-gamers will enjoy it just the same, much like viewers enjoyed the world of live-action role playing in Role Models, learning rules through the eyes of Paul Rudd's character.

Though there are so many more jokes in this film. And unlike other movies where D&D nerds are portrayed as, well, nerds... where they're seen in a negative light... this film honors them and really shows how much fun they have. I was laughing almost non-stop, and I've also experienced something very rare: the after-laugh. Just thinking about certain scenes of the film the next day is making me laugh. How could you not laugh at a wizard resurrecting a cooked chicken just for the hell of it, and having the chicken go ballistic on the characters (which ends in something so classic that I don't want to spoil it). Or at characters rolling charisma to distract the paladin while they torture another character for information?

If you couldn't figure it out, the film bounces back and forth between the "real world" and the "fantasy world." Of course, the "real world" actors play their "fantasy world" counterparts, except that Luster (the female wizard) goes back-and-forth between a male and female actor/actress, depending on if he remembers to stay in character or not. The fantasy world stuff is much funnier than the real world stuff, though I suppose the real world stuff is necessary for character development (no pun intended). But the best thing is when they mix the two. You can hear the rolling of die over the fantasy world scenes at times, or there's one scene where the Bard has to use his "Bardic knowledge" about information the Dungeon Master knows, so you see a hand pop from off-screen and hand him a cue-card to read from. And then, of course, the occasional "real world" discussion as they try to figure out what to do (most times it'll flip back to real world altogether here, but there's times where it just sticks in the fantasy world). Everything just adds to the awesomeness of the film.

So obviously the script is solid. What about other things? I wouldn't say the acting is as bad as the haters make it out to be. There's one actor who is obviously bad, but he's such a small character and only in the film for maybe a total of 2 minutes. The main people are all decent. They won't be winning any Oscars, but that's not the point of the movie. I loved what the director told them in the behind-the-scenes: just pretend this is real life; if you feel that you're acting, stop and start over. The guy who plays Cass was the best of the group, and I wouldn't be surprised if he broke out into mainstream films. But the thing is, while I could easily see this film made by the Apatow gang (for instance, Leo being Seth Rogen and Cass being Paul Rudd), I think it would take away the charm of the film. I think these particular actors bring something to these characters that those others wouldn't be able to--the heart of an experienced gamer.

But what got to me more than anything else, and what tends to get to the haters, are the special effects. They're pretty bad. Like... "I made this on my home laptop" bad. It makes Sci-Fi channel visuals look great. Thankfully, they just use visuals for powers and such, and not monsters or anything (the closest it gets, which is arguably the most cringeworthy of the bunch, is a ton of flies coming from an injured demon). However, this is how I think of it: this movie is an exploration of the imagination and comedy. Why wouldn't the special effects be cheesy? Part of me believes that the cheesiness of the special effects adds to the feel of the film, while part of me just wants more superb visuals anyway. Thankfully, the movie isn't too reliant on these effects, so it's not really distracting (or detracting).

And you know every comedy has the big 'fall out' moment where something happens between the main characters, and one or more have to come crawling back with an apology. Most movies usually go for some melodramatic speech with the apology... this touching, heart-felt moment. I have to say that this film handles it much more realistically (and more hilariously)... and it takes only two lines of dialogue between characters. Okay, so there's a mini-speech with one character, but the one to another character is better.

This movie can really only be found via Netflix or Amazon, it seems... but as soon as I finished watching it (at about 1 in the morning), I went right to Amazon and placed an order. It almost immediately became one of my favorite movies, bad special effects or not. This movie is truly the heart of extreme low-budget films. It's original, hilarious, well-written, and done to the best of everybody's ability. If you go to check it out, make sure you're getting Dorkness Rising and not the original, The Gamers, as this is apparently a spin-off of that short film. If super low-budget films don't bother you, I highly recommend this film, especially if you have any knowledge of Dungeons & Dragons or P&P role playing (first or second hand). And even if you don't, check it out anyway. I swear, you will find yourself laughing. Great, great movie.


Royale With Cheese