BLACK SWAN.

Let me start off by saying I'm not a huge Aronofsky fan. I still need to re-experience Requiem for a Dream, as the last attempt was in the middle of the night when I was much younger and I fell asleep halfway through. I thought The Fountain was one of the most boring (though pretty) films I've ever seen. I did really enjoy The Wrestler, though. All that being said, I went into this movie both knowing it was supposedly one of if not the best movie of the year mixed with my previous feelings for the director's films... and I wasn't sure what to expect.

Black Swan tells the story of Nina (Natalie Portman), a ballerina obsessed with perfection. She's very child-like, coddled by her obsessive and controlling mother, Erica (Barbara Hershey), a woman whose own dreams for the ballet were dashed when she was younger. Nina is soon casted in Thomas' (Vincent Cassel) own version of Swan Lake where the lead must play both the White Swan and the Black Swan. Thomas isn't sure Nina can pull of the Black Swan despite being magnificent at the White Swan role. Meanwhile, a new ballerina named Lily (Mila Kunis) comes to town and starts to shake things up a bit. Slowly, Nina loses control of reality as she tries to grasp the soul of the Black Swan, fighting between her own paranoid imagination and her sanity--is she really turning into a Black Swan or is the role just getting to her?

The best two words to describe this film are basically the same two words I've been hearing all over--visceral and sexy. There was a woman nearby who had brought her two small children with her--and at one point, she even left the theater (assuming to go to the bathroom), and she left the two little kids behind alone! First, you should never do that... ever. But second, if you ever were to do that, this is certainly not the film you do that in (this isn't even a film to bring them to in the first place). Half the time I was cringing from some disturbing moments, and the other half of the time I was watching Natalie Portman having sexy times. And that's about as close as I'm gonna get to talking about the famous lesbian scene.

So that lesbian scene was pretty hot.

Er, sorry.

Anyway, the scene where Natalie Portman is mastu...

Sorry, off track again. I need something to take my mind off all the sexy times.

OK, so how about the time when she rips the skin from her fingernail down to her knuckle. Oh yeah, baby. Sorry, I threw up in my mouth a little. Back on track.

Like I was saying, this movie is visceral. There are a lot of disturbing images in this movie, and I don't just mean all the fingernail stuff--and there are a lot of fingernail-related moments. The imagery of the film is unsettling, from the back rash to the mirrors. I want to take a moment to discuss the mirrors. This film is full of mirrors. Almost every scene has multiple mirrors. This movie must have been a nightmare in post-production. Still, the way they were utilized, either fragmenting reflections or having reflections moving slightly off from when the real person is moving, was magnificent. I want to see the movie again simply to watch the mirrors the entire time.

The acting is solid, as well. Natalie Portman is gorgeous as usual and, dare I say it, very sexy at times. But that's the point of the role, right? Seduction. Mila Kunis has been surprising me quite a bit lately, shedding her Jackie persona from That 70s Show. And this movie really helps her jettison to the next level. Vincent Cassel is fantastic and creepy, too. One actress I wasn't expecting (which is kinda how she's been a lot lately) is Winona Ryder as Beth, a former big name in ballet who is retiring. Her performance is gut-wrenching... in the sense that she reaches through the screen, grabs your intestines, and wrenches them from your body. It's a pretty intense role.

And that's another great way to describe this movie: intense. Don't come into it thinking you're in for a wonderful romp into the world of ballet. It's a heavy look into the psychosis of a young woman who has to make such a huge personality shift for a role that it literally destroys her from the inside out. It's a study of the mind and its slow decline from sanity, showing you every painstaking second of this woman whose life is swirling down the drain for the hope of perfection. And the music is good, too. (Understatement.)


Royale With Cheese

LKMYNTS: Get Over It.

What's this? A Ben Foster movie I hadn't seen? Needless to say, it hit that Netflix Queue quickly. And it was certainly interesting. I wouldn't say this is a movie you "need" to see, but it is little known, and it's good enough. This movie is essentially for Midsummer Night's Dream what Easy A was for The Scarlet Letter. Berke (Ben Foster) is on the high school basketball team, but otherwise he's pretty much a loner. That is, until his childhood soul-mate, Allison (Melissa Sagemiller), moves back into town. They hit it off for a year... and then Allison breaks up with him because, basically, she's bored. Berke goes into a depression, and his friends Felix (Colin Hanks) and Dennis (Sisqo) try to make him feel better. Unfortunately, in the process, they reveal that Allison has hit it off with pompous, British, boy band singer Striker (Shane West). He's also talked Allison into trying out with him for the school musical version of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," which is being put on by the self-centered and flamboyant Dr. Desmond Forrest Oates (Martin Short). Of course, Berke immediately wants to try out, as well, not completely realizing at first that it's a musical (and he can't sing)... or how difficult Shakespeare is. But who comes along to help him out is theater student and best friend Felix's little sister, Kelly (Kirsten Dunst). And, wouldn't you know it, Kelly starts to fall for Berke while he's trying to get back with Allison who is hooked up with Striker, though Berke also begins getting feelings for Kelly... all the while Dennis is trying to get with Kelly's best friend, Basin (Mila Kunis). Also in this film are Zoe Saldana as Allison's best friend, Swoozie Kurtz and Ed Begley Jr as Berke's parents, Dov Tiefenbach (who is one of those "that guys" to me), Colleen Fitzpatrick, a young Shawn Roberts, and even cameo appearances by Carmen Electra and Coolio.

Who the hell isn't in this movie? Let's start with the cast. When I said Sisqo, yes... I meant that Sisqo. He did this movie right before his one-hit-wonder "The Thong Song" made it big. This was also, apparently, Kirsten Dunst's first music outing, and her song appears in the soundtrack. And acting wise, she does well. And she's very pretty, so that helps. I mentioned earlier a similarity to Easy A (despite this one coming out years before), and there is more than one. Besides having a "well, this is a crazy cast" vibe, the certain "mentionables" are exactly the same. In Easy A, the ones most talked about in reviews were her parents and the teacher. It's the same here. Berke's parents are, similarly, very laid back and "hip" parents who don't do any form of punishment, even if necessary. In fact, they're often inappropriate with their responses (at one point, after picking Berke up from being arrested at a sex club, they offer to take him out for yogurt or let him go home so he can "polish the rocket"). But the true standout of this film is undeniably Martin Short as the drama teacher. He actually had me laughing out loud. You can tell almost all his lines were probably improv, with Martin coming on set and just going crazy. Hell, I'm not 100% positive he didn't just show up on set and start acting--not even supposed to be in the movie. There's even an entire blooper reel on the DVD that focuses on him, and you can see all the cast struggling not to laugh during takes (Mila Kunis fails the most). But then, of course, you have Ben Foster who--despite being the main character--is listed second under Kirsten Dunst (though she was a bigger name). He does just fine with his character. I wouldn't say it's my favorite performance, but I think that's more on the director not knowing what he was going for than anything.

Which leads me to my first complaint. The movie feels scatterbrained. It can't seem to focus on what it wants to be. You know how Easy A was stretched a hundred different ways but still found a way to make it work? Imagine if it struggled more with it, and you'll get an idea what I'm talking about. This is a pseudo-musical, though only one song is in true musical-fantasy form (and it's at the beginning, almost as if in parody to musicals). There are cartoonish moments with thought bubbles with Martin Short. There's gross out humor (though very rare). There's slapstick... and more. It couldn't find a clear grasp on what kind of comedy it wanted to be, trying to put in laughs for every kind of audience... except maybe fans of dark humor. This is a very light film. Take, for instance, that the writer's previous effort was She's All That, and the director's next film was Ella Enchanted. Though, believe it or not, this was actually edited down from an R-Rated version, which I might have liked more. Maybe that was the problem. You can tell this movie was edited down.

I might as well continue with the Easy A comparisons. Like that one where they're reading The Scarlet Letter and her story has similarities, this movie has them performing Midsummer Night's Dream while the story has similarities. Now, despite being an English teacher, I've not read all of Shakespeare's works, including this one. I would actually like to, eventually. However, I know the general story and characters, though maybe not all their personalities. This brings me to my point: Allison is a bitch. She treated Berke like crap in their break up, and all he wants to do is get back with her at all costs. Granted, the movie is called Get Over It.

I've made plenty of Easy A comparisons throughout this review, but the fact is... Easy A is much better. That's not to say this movie is bad. It is really entertaining. But the script needed to be tightened up a bit, as it tried to have too much going on, never giving enough time to all of them to bloom (they should have cut the basketball subplot completely, as it never gets enough screen time, and it never comes to fruition. There's no purpose to it). Though whether it's attributed to the script or to Martin Short, his character is fantastic, and he would be the primary reason to see this movie. But fault lies partially with the director, too, not being able to stay with a certain feel or tone--granted, this might have been fixed in the full, R-Rated version, so I have no idea. If you're a fan of Ben Foster, moderately quirky comedies, "modern Shakespeare" films, Martin Short, or (yes) Easy A, I'd recommend checking it out. It's no masterpiece, and it's pretty predictable, but it's a fun way to spend an hour and a half.


I Am McLovin!

THE BOOK OF ELI.

Warning: Potential mild spoilers.

----------------

This movie is not for everyone (obviously, considering the mixed reviews). But was it for me? The movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic near-future, where water is scarce, there's no soap, and the majority of the population can't even read. It centers around Eli (Denzel Washington), a wanderer with a book in his possession that he must get to the west. But along the way, he comes across a little town run by a man named Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who is searching for the very book that Eli possesses. And he will do anything to get it. Eli eventually teams up with a young woman named Solara (Mila Kunis), as well, whose mother is being held by Carnegie.

That's about it. It's no real elaborate plot or anything. And I honestly can't see what all the negative fuss is about the movie... that is, unless you're a close-minded religious zealot. Sure, it's a slow movie, but it's not that slow. The religion isn't even shoved down your throat. Yes, the whole movie is about it, but it doesn't say "this is the right way" or "this is the wrong way." In fact, that's one of the things I loved most about the movie. The way it treated the subject was just like anything else: in the wrong hands, it can be devastating and used for the wrong reasons... but in the right hands, it's precious and good. I read one review that said something along the lines of them not being sure, after leaving the movie, whether or not the movie's purpose wanted them to embrace or condemn religion. I say the movie had no such agenda, but instead showed us that, really, it's up to the individual to decide between what is right and what is wrong. And right and wrong isn't always black and white.

Outside of the story, the visuals are amazing. The post-apoc look is great, and the cinematography is excellent. There were two reason I really wanted to see the movie: 1) The cinematography looked excellent and 2) the action looked great. I was right on both counts. The action is, while typically short, is a ton of fun. One of my favorite action scenes, purely from a camera angle (no pun intended), was the "house" scene near the end of the second act. The way the camera swooped in and out of the house in what appeared to be an impossible single take was outstanding.

On the acting front, Denzel Washington is good, but there really isn't a heck of a lot for him to work with. But he's good enough. I always felt from the trailers that Mila Kunis seemed out of place. After seeing the movie, I'm a bit torn on that thought. Part of me still sides with that thought, but the other part of me thought she did a pretty decent job. The best part, though, was Gary Oldman being Gary Oldman. I love that man in whatever he does, and he can sure play crazy pretty well.

I also wanted to make note that, at one point, I thought we had become Harry Potter and the Book of Eli. Besides Gary Oldman (who played Sirius Black in the movies), we had the random appearances of Frances de la Tour (who played Madame Maxime in Goblet of Fire) and Michael Gambon (Dumbledore since the third). Though I have to be honest, seeing Dumbledore and Madame Maxime go all Rambo on Sirius Black was totally fun. And, Harry Potter aside, what is it with Malcolm McDowell and the apocalypse? Just from recent memory, he's been in this, Doomsday, and the guy who wanted to bring the end of the world in the first season of Heroes. And, according to imdb, he does a character voice in the show Metalocalypse.

All in all, it was a pretty good movie. I actually really enjoyed it, but I like post-apocalyptic stories, great visuals, fun action, Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, and almost anything to do with theology... so I guess you can say it was going to be hard for me not to like this movie. (Despite its incredibly weak and open-ended V-For-Vendetta-cheap-rip-off ending).


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. I didn't even mention the freakin' awesome twist near the end of the movie... that I won't spoil. I totally wanna see it again, just so I can see it with the new mindset).

2 In 1: Knocked Up and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

So I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall (a long time ago, actually… as this review has been sitting on the shelf for a while, so to speak), and I knew I’d have to put the review in with a 2 In 1, but couldn’t figure out the other movie to do it with. But then I finally decided to pair it up with another Judd Apatow film (and both including Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, and Jonah Hill... and possibly others), Knocked Up. And both films seem to be a little overrated. And, it seems that both are the best when the smaller characters are on screen, including Paul Rudd. So let me first start with the older of the two, which I’ve seen numerous times and have just gotten around to formally reviewing.

Knocked Up.

The best way to describe Knocked Up is to give a quote by Paul Rudd’s character within the movie: “Marriage is like that show Everybody Loves Raymond, but its not funny. All the problems are the same, but, you know instead of all the funny, pithy dialogue, everybody is really pissed off and tense.” And the movie is quite similar… sometimes it’s funny, but most of the time, it’s just a bunch of really pissed off people and tense moments.

Ben Stone (Seth Rogan) is a stoner loser. Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl) is a successful TV reporter who just got a promotion. Going out to celebrate with her sister Debbie (Leslie Mann), Alison goes clubbing and has a drunken night of fun with Ben, resulting in sex, which leads to the inevitable pregnancy that the film revolves around. So the rest of the film showcases the relationship between the two, as well as juxtaposing the relationship between Debbie and her husband Pete (Paul Rudd).

Now, to go back to my opening, there’s a lot of situational comedy that presents itself, even in the concept (stoner loser gets successful woman pregnant, and both are forced to cooperate in order to be there for the baby). But what happens throughout the film is mostly uncomfortable, tense scenes full of fighting, pissed-off people.

But the best parts of the film are those with the supporting cast, or even the tiniest of cameos or roles: Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Jay Baruchel, Joanna Kerns, Harold Ramis, Alan Tudyk, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Ryan Seacrest, James Franco, and Ken Jeong… among others. Seriously, my favorite part of the entire movie isn’t even in the movie. In the extended/deleted scenes, you can see the full, uncut version of Ken Jeong’s Dr. Kuni scene. That had me laughing so hard, much more than any of the rest of the movie did. The best part of the actual movie was Paul Rudd’s ‘chair’ scene in Las Vegas. And not even the whole scene itself including Seth Rogan’s ranting, but simply Paul Rudd’s tiniest movements or words (“It tastes like a rainbow!”). Hell, even Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann’s kids in the movie (which I believe are actually Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow’s kids) were entertaining.

As for the others, specifically Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogan, I just had difficulty caring… moreso with the former. It’s hard to care about a budding romance when you can’t stand one of the two. I mostly couldn’t stand Katherine Heigl for the majority of the movie and thought she was pretty much a bitch. The times when she didn’t get on my nerves and was actually likable were few and far between, such as when she’d sit on the couch looking for nudity in a movie for Ben’s website. Though I’m not saying Seth Rogan’s character was a saint, either, but at least he had personality outside of ‘stick-up-the-butt’.

So yeah, there were good moments, there were funny moments, but the majority just didn’t work for me. The movie is a romantic comedy. But when you can’t stand one or both of the pair in the romance, and the movie is more about being tense and fighting over being funny, it basically fails at its job. It does live up to the Judd Apatow degree, but I’m just not with everybody who says it’s his best work and much better than 40-Year-Old-Virgin and Superbad. It’s good, yeah… but it’s not great.

I Am McLovin!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

So I finally got around to seeing Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was about what I thought it would be. Peter Bretter (Jason Segel) was just broken up with by long-time girlfriend and famous TV actress Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell), the show for which he writes music. After some random advice given to him by his step-brother Brian (Bill Hader), Peter decides to go to Hawaii to try and forget about his ex instead of moping around and having meaningless flings. Though when he gets there, he discovers that Sarah is also there, along with her new boyfriend, British rock superstar Aldous Snow (Russell Brand). Fortunately, a nice employee by the name of Rachel (Mila Kunis) tries to cheer him up, though Peter starts to get closer to her than he first expected.

The movie had a lot of funny moments, most of which were thanks to some of the smaller, more underused roles. Paul Rudd and Jonah Hill’s underused characters were great, more specifically Rudd’s (Hill’s whole subplot was nearly pointless). And then there was the newlywed couple with sexual difficulties who were pretty funny (“Christ is between your legs!” had to be the funniest line in the film). But for me, the guy who stole almost every scene he was in was Russell Brand as Aldous Snow. Everything he said was just plain funny, mostly because of how he said it in his very nonchalant kind of way.

But the movie did have quite a few dragging moments. It could have been trimmed down quite a bit. The beginning of the movie, before he gets to Hawaii, seems like it takes forever to get through. I wanted to get to the story already, but there were more and more scenes of him just moping around and crying. Then he finally gets to the island and does more moping around and crying. I know the movie was called Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and the point was him trying to get over her, but I think we got the point after the 30^th fetal-position crying scene. And, though I think he’s a fun actor, Jonah Hill’s whole part in the movie could have been trimmed down a bit, too. The only reason I think he might not have been was due to him, for whatever reason, being in just about every plot-important scene in the movie. I mean, I don’t know if it’s some unspoken rule that every Judd Apatow-linked film has to be at least two hours long, but they should really work on that a bit.

I really don’t have much else to say about the film. When it wasn’t dragging or unnecessary, I thought it was funny and entertaining (which it was, more often than not). I’d totally watch it again.

A Keanu 'Whoa'

MAX PAYNE.

Most of the reviews I’ve read out there for this movie have been from huge fans of the video game. Well, now you have one from somebody who has never even played the game at all. Three years after Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg) lost his wife and baby to robbers/murderers, he’s still on the case trying to find the third member of the people who did it. Along the way he gets help from his old partner, Alex (Donal Logue); a mysterious woman, Mona (Mila Kunis); an old friend, BB (Beau Bridges); and a detective, Jim Bravura (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges). They slowly start to discover that his family’s murder is tied to another set of gruesome murders that are linked together by some kind of Valkyrie tattoo and drug.

I’m not exactly sure what to say about this movie. It was bizarre, to say the least. As for characters, none of them show much of any development with the exception of maybe Detective Bravura, but that’s mostly because of how his character figures things out. The character of Mona seems random and unexplained. I had no idea who or what she was (Super gangster? Assassin? Government?) until I read up on the imdb summary that she was an assassin. Nothing about her character is explained, and her sister seemed to only be there as a plot device. The same thing went for Alex; he was only in the movie for plot development and nothing else. There were other characters like this, too, but I’ll leave it at that for now. And another thing that was never explained in too much detail were the Valkyries. Were they real or just hallucinations? It was as if some of the stuff could have been explained had they been fake, though some of the things would be pushing it. And if they were just hallucinations, why push their involvement so much toward the ending? Just for neat special effects?

And speaking of special effects, they really were done very well. Visually, the movie was amazing, from the special effects to the cinematography. Though I was kind of upset with the fact that the awesome ‘snow-on-the-gun’ scene as shown in the trailer wasn’t in the movie. I know exactly where the scene would have been, too, but it looks like they used a different (and less cool) cut. Oh well. But they did almost overuse slow motion/bullet time. And I don’t mean that in the way that it was all over the place, but rather when it was used, it was used for too long at a time. For instance, in one scene where Max bends backwards to shoot somebody, the whole thing is in slow motion, so a scene that normally would have taken one or two seconds takes nearly an entire minute to get through.

To take this a step further and discuss acting, I would have to say that it actually wasn’t bad. Everybody did a pretty good job, from Marky Mark to Ludacris and even Mila Kunis (though she seemed to be a bit awkward in the role of a badass). Oh, and the random appearance by Chris O’Donnell was fun. I hadn’t seen him in a movie since… hell… he played Robin. And even he did a pretty good job for his small role. And are there any Heroes fans out there? There’s a brief scene (seriously, about 10-15 seconds) that has the actress who plays Daphne in the new season. At least, I swear it was her. Anyway, that was just a random catch.

The biggest negatives that the movie has been getting have dealt with the super slow beginning and/or lack of action. The trailer shows the movie to be this non-stop, sci-fi /horror, action flick, and it isn’t. The whole first half of the movie is mystery/noir, and it builds up very slowly. However, this didn’t really bother me too much. But then again, I don’t mind some slow mystery to my action movies and don’t need non-stop mindless explosions for it to be a good film. The last half of the movie, though, is where the action really picks up, and it’s all pretty cool, though I think the climax was highly underdone and could have been a lot more fulfilling.

Overall, it was an interesting, though slightly confusing at times, movie. It could have done with more character development and a bit more explanations of things, as well. Also, that ‘almost-nudity’ toward the beginning was harsh. It reminded me a lot of Underworld 2 wherein the camera was in just the right spots to miss exactly everything. It was a rough PG-13 anyway… it should have pushed it a little further. But that’s just me. It wasn’t the greatest movie in the world, but definitely not the worst. And if you know Norse mythology (like me), or you’re just observant, the first big twist in the movie won’t really come as a shocker. And if you’re a fan of movies whatsoever, the second twist won’t come as a shock, either, because it’s the kind of thing that’s pulled all the time. Otherwise, fun action and great visuals.

I Am McLovin!