FAST FIVE.

I've been following the Fast and the Furious series since the first one in theater. While the sequels have been more subpar, the action has always been a lot of fun. So there was little expectation that the fifth in the series would be any better. Funnily enough, this newest installment is actually probably the best in the whole series.

Picking up right after the end of the fourth installment, but before Tokyo Drift, Fast Five has Brian (Paul Walker) and Mia (Jordana Brewster) busting Dom (Vin Diesel) out of his prisoner transit bus. They end up in Rio and old friend Vince (Matt Schulze) talks them into doing a job for a bit of cash. Unfortunately, this puts them in a bad position with a criminal kingpin who runs Rio by the name of Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). They know they need to quit the business and drop from the radar, but they need one last job to pull it off: stealing 100 million dollars from Reyes, which in and of itself is a near impossible task. And to top it all off, they have who is essentially a Black Ops guy named Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and a local cop, Elena (Elsa Pataky), after them to bring them in after they're accused of killing government agents. To help pull off the job, they bring in some old friends: Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges), Han (Sung Kang), Gisele (Gal Gadot), Leo (Tego Calderon), and Santos (Don Omar).

The best way to describe the film is like The Fast and the Furious meets Ocean's 11. This is an over-the-top heist film through and through, with a bit of the added car flavor that the F&F films have always delivered. Of course you need previous knowledge of the films to have any idea who these people are and how they're connected (Hell, I've seen all the films and even I couldn't remember a few of them). Though there are some where the previous relationships aren't important--such as the characters I couldn't remember (Gisele, Leo, and Santos; for the record, Gisele and Leo are in the 4th film, which I only saw once, and Santos is actually a new character, which would explain me not remembering him). But if you haven't seen the previous films, there's a lot that's going to go over your head.

Anyway, the action is fantastic. Of course it is completely over-the-top and unrealistic, but they at least attempt to do it in as realistic a way as possible--an issue I had with the 4th film where there was some CGI because it was so unrealistic. In fact, the only issue I had in the movie with the action was the only issue I knew I'd have based on the trailer. When the car flies off the cliff and Brian and Dom jump from it as it falls toward the water--there's no way you can survive that fall, at least not completely unscathed. Otherwise, everything was fine. By the time we reached the end of the film, I had completely shut my brain off and wasn't bothered by the fact that 1 or 2 cars were able to pull a 10-ton safe (or something like that). And the big fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock? How awesome was that!

The heist aspect is a lot of fun. Just like the Ocean's films, we're given an ensemble where each person has their own job to do. Granted, by the time we reach the actual heist, some things have been rendered completely moot, but everybody still essentially has a job to do. Leo and Santos give us a lot of good comedy, though they aren't the only ones. Still, the film does have a bit of a tonal shift once the team joins in about halfway through. The first hour or so is a bit serious and gritty; however, once they get the heist idea and bring in the team, things become a bit lighter and more fun.

Currently, I only own the first film of the series. The second is OK, but it's the only on that doesn't include Vin Diesel (if you count the Tokyo Drift cameo), so it loses a bit due to that. Tokyo Drift isn't awful, but it's not much better than eh. I was pretty hyped right after seeing Fast & Furious, but after I let it sink in and thought about it more, the more I realized I didn't care for it all that much. It had a lot of action and I was hyped from seeing the original cast return, but outside that, it was pretty rough around the edges. So I allowed Fast Five to sink in for a couple days before writing the review... and I still maintain that it is one of--if not the--best of the series.


Royale With Cheese

(P.S. Yes, I really dug it that much. It's the heist factor--what can I say? It's not perfect, but it's a ton of fun. Anyway, stay tuned after the credits begin. There's an extra scene about halfway in that gives you quite a cool twist for those who have been following the series.)

GAMER.

I'd wanted to see this movie from the first time I saw the first trailer. I totally loved the concept, and it looked like excellent fun. But did it live up to its potential? Well, let's start off with the story. In the near future, a man named Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall) invents Nanex, a collection of nanobytes that are injected into your brain and allow others to control you. It first spawns a game called Society, the ultimate Sims (kind of like a real-life iLife). But then it extended into the prison program for death row inmates, to where if they can win 30 games, they're set free. It's called Slayers. Kable (Gerard Butler), with his player Simon (Logan Lerman), is the closest person to get to the 30 wins, and all he wants to do is get home to his wife (Amber Valleta) and daughter. But Castle won't have it, though he has to contend with a group of hackers (Ludacris, Aaron Yoo, and Alison Lohman). And then there's the media woman, Gina (Kyra Sedgwyk). And... hell, there's a whole lot of stuff going on, with little actually happening. The movie also includes John Leguizamo, Zoe Bell, and Milo Ventimiglia.

The movie is completely style over substance, though it tries to throw in some substance in the latter half of the film (I'll get to that later). But its stylistic nature is still pretty cool. However, I'm not sure that the Slayers stuff was done to its fullest potential, and it's really only in the first half of the film. And because the movie is more style than substance, it brings us to the film's biggest downfall: it's chaotic feel.

Especially the first half of the film, we get a whole lot of nothing. There's literally almost no story, as well as any character development or... well, anything but violence and style. Eventually, we start getting some semblance of a story, but then it doesn't really take it all to its fullest potential, either. I saw so many great places the story could have gone, but it didn't. It stayed at about as basic of a level as possible story-wise (though I suppose the bad guy motivations revealed at the end are pretty cool).

I would also have liked more out of the characters. They're all so one-dimensional, it's--dare I say--ludicrous (sorry, I couldn't help myself). The acting is fine, of course, and Michael C. Hall gives one heck of a performance for a character that could have been so boring otherwise. Though Terry Crews' Hackman was way over-the-top, though that was probably purposeful. Anyway, some characters were just a complete waste, like John Leguizamo's. He didn't really have much of a point except to extend on one portion (or type of character) of "Slayers" that is hardly mentioned or expanded on to begin with. Milo Ventimiglia must have just been desperate for a paycheck, because he just has some weird-ass role for only a couple minutes of screen time. And Kyra Sedgwick, while a key player, basically walks around cussing the whole time. There was no background to any character, no home lives, no anything. I would have liked to at least see maybe Simon's character delved into a little more, maybe add some psychology or something to it. It was just all so... flat.

Don't get me wrong, though. The movie is still quite a bit of fun. I especially like it around the middle of the movie where, essentially, Slayers meets Society. I really don't have too much to say about the movie. It was total style over substance, but a little more substance would have made the film so much better. It's entertaining for what it is, and the premise is still great (as are the last few twists of the story... which I still feel could have been delved into deeper). Oh, and be warned those of you who have a dislike for shaky cam. There's a good bit of it in the movie... and unfortunately, a lot of it during the Slayers bits, so you can hardly see what's going on half the time, anyway (those scenes should have decreased some shaky cam and added more time to make them longer and more fun). Overall, it was fun, but it could have been better.

I Am McLovin!

MAX PAYNE.

Most of the reviews I’ve read out there for this movie have been from huge fans of the video game. Well, now you have one from somebody who has never even played the game at all. Three years after Max Payne (Mark Wahlberg) lost his wife and baby to robbers/murderers, he’s still on the case trying to find the third member of the people who did it. Along the way he gets help from his old partner, Alex (Donal Logue); a mysterious woman, Mona (Mila Kunis); an old friend, BB (Beau Bridges); and a detective, Jim Bravura (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges). They slowly start to discover that his family’s murder is tied to another set of gruesome murders that are linked together by some kind of Valkyrie tattoo and drug.

I’m not exactly sure what to say about this movie. It was bizarre, to say the least. As for characters, none of them show much of any development with the exception of maybe Detective Bravura, but that’s mostly because of how his character figures things out. The character of Mona seems random and unexplained. I had no idea who or what she was (Super gangster? Assassin? Government?) until I read up on the imdb summary that she was an assassin. Nothing about her character is explained, and her sister seemed to only be there as a plot device. The same thing went for Alex; he was only in the movie for plot development and nothing else. There were other characters like this, too, but I’ll leave it at that for now. And another thing that was never explained in too much detail were the Valkyries. Were they real or just hallucinations? It was as if some of the stuff could have been explained had they been fake, though some of the things would be pushing it. And if they were just hallucinations, why push their involvement so much toward the ending? Just for neat special effects?

And speaking of special effects, they really were done very well. Visually, the movie was amazing, from the special effects to the cinematography. Though I was kind of upset with the fact that the awesome ‘snow-on-the-gun’ scene as shown in the trailer wasn’t in the movie. I know exactly where the scene would have been, too, but it looks like they used a different (and less cool) cut. Oh well. But they did almost overuse slow motion/bullet time. And I don’t mean that in the way that it was all over the place, but rather when it was used, it was used for too long at a time. For instance, in one scene where Max bends backwards to shoot somebody, the whole thing is in slow motion, so a scene that normally would have taken one or two seconds takes nearly an entire minute to get through.

To take this a step further and discuss acting, I would have to say that it actually wasn’t bad. Everybody did a pretty good job, from Marky Mark to Ludacris and even Mila Kunis (though she seemed to be a bit awkward in the role of a badass). Oh, and the random appearance by Chris O’Donnell was fun. I hadn’t seen him in a movie since… hell… he played Robin. And even he did a pretty good job for his small role. And are there any Heroes fans out there? There’s a brief scene (seriously, about 10-15 seconds) that has the actress who plays Daphne in the new season. At least, I swear it was her. Anyway, that was just a random catch.

The biggest negatives that the movie has been getting have dealt with the super slow beginning and/or lack of action. The trailer shows the movie to be this non-stop, sci-fi /horror, action flick, and it isn’t. The whole first half of the movie is mystery/noir, and it builds up very slowly. However, this didn’t really bother me too much. But then again, I don’t mind some slow mystery to my action movies and don’t need non-stop mindless explosions for it to be a good film. The last half of the movie, though, is where the action really picks up, and it’s all pretty cool, though I think the climax was highly underdone and could have been a lot more fulfilling.

Overall, it was an interesting, though slightly confusing at times, movie. It could have done with more character development and a bit more explanations of things, as well. Also, that ‘almost-nudity’ toward the beginning was harsh. It reminded me a lot of Underworld 2 wherein the camera was in just the right spots to miss exactly everything. It was a rough PG-13 anyway… it should have pushed it a little further. But that’s just me. It wasn’t the greatest movie in the world, but definitely not the worst. And if you know Norse mythology (like me), or you’re just observant, the first big twist in the movie won’t really come as a shocker. And if you’re a fan of movies whatsoever, the second twist won’t come as a shock, either, because it’s the kind of thing that’s pulled all the time. Otherwise, fun action and great visuals.

I Am McLovin!