V.G. Movies #43: Mortal Kombat: Legacy.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

In 2010, a man named Kevin Tancharoen decided to make a short film entitled Mortal Kombat: Rebirth. This short film took a more gritty, realistic approach to the series, giving real-world backgrounds for characters rather than supernatural ones. He did this in order to use it as a pitch to Warner Bros to make a new Mortal Kombat film. The short became incredibly popular, and although talks for the new film are still in the works, what he got instead was a web-series.

Each episode was to focus on one or two characters at a time, giving their individual backstories in preparation for the possible upcoming film. However, upon putting the episodes up on YouTube via Machinima, the creators received mixed reactions. The web-series went back to the supernatural elements instead, shying away from the realistic approach the original pitch gave. Some theorize that, while the first few episodes hit the realism note, episodes 4 and 5 enter a territory so drastically different that many think Warner Bros forced Tancharoen to alter his approach slightly and test fan reaction to the supernatural. This theory is backed up due to the fan backlash and the fact episode 6 hits the realism roots again and is deemed one of the best episodes of the series.

It didn't help that the show was soon censored down to remove all the blood and uber-violence that has become a staple of the franchise. While Machinima promised fans that they would be releasing uncut versions later on, they never did. Fan suspicions became true when Warner released the uncut Blu-Ray of the entire first season (which is what I'll be reviewing today).

Despite its rocky start, the web-series is planning to have a second season, bringing in more classic and fan-favorite characters, such as Liu Kang and Kung Lao. But right now, we're focusing on the first season. How does it all hold up together when it's put all together? Let's find out.

THE SERIES

I actually did watch episodes on YouTube when they first premiered, but due to a lack in a proper schedule, I fell away from it for a while. I did eventually go back and watch some of the last episodes posted up, though I'm not sure I ever entirely finished it out. Even still, I don't remember most of it that well. But this is going to be a different kind of review. As this is a series, I'm going to review each segment separately and then go into how it works as a whole. So let's start this.

Episodes 1 & 2 - Jax, Sonya, And Kano

Kano (Darren Shahlavi) is making sure a shipment goes out for their cybernetics division when Sonya Blade (Jeri Ryan) tries to take them on alone. She gets herself captured so that her partner, Jax (Michael Jai White) and boss, Stryker (Tahmoh Penikett), have to come to her rescue.

The first episode is mostly set-up with a little action near the end. But it's the second episode in this arc that makes it worth it. The action, particularly between Jax and Kano, is top notch and hard hitting--especially a particular money-shot at the end of the fight. The next best thing is the aftermath of the fight. We get the origins of how Kano got his eye and Jax gets his arms (though you only see the former). On the whole, those are the two best parts of these episodes. The weak spot, unfortunately, is Sonya. She's not given much to do in either episode. She fires one bullet the entire time and never fights, so she's no better than some damsel in distress. But overall, the story was a good start to the season--not perfect, but let it go in a really good direction.

Episode 3 - Johnny Cage

Johnny Cage is a failing actor who is afraid his time in the spotlight is coming to an end. But after some producers screw him over, he's offered a proposition he might not be able to refuse.

After such a gritty opening, this is a weak follow-up. It starts off with some fake E! True Hollywood Story on him. The majority of the episode after that is footage of some reality TV show he's trying to pitch. There's barely any story to the episode, and just when it gets good (when Shang Tsung shows up), the episode ends. Also, because of Shang Tsung, this is the first episode that dabbles in a bit of the magical side of things, though just at the very end. I also had an issue with the actor who played Johnny, as he looked like a mousey Ricky Martin than any kind of action star. So, yeah, I didn't care much for this one.

Episodes 4 & 5 - Kitana and Mileena

Shao Kahn (Aleks Paunovic), with the help of Shang Tsung (Johnson Phan) and Baraka, take over a kingdom run by King Jerrod and Queen Sindel. The king escapes, and Kahn marries Sindel and adopts her daughter, Kitana (Samantha Jo), as his own. But he also has Shang Tsung make a more sinister clone of Kitana, fused with the DNA of the same race as Baraka, that they name Mileena (Jolene Tran). Sindel takes her own life to fuse her soul with Kitana, but in the process makes both Kitana and Mileena be raised by Shao Kahn... to some disastrous results.

I can understand the hate for these two episodes. These episodes take everything that Mortal Kombat: Rebirth promised and spat it all away. It takes away all the gritty realism and, instead, makes it not-as-gritty fantasy. Two of the coolest things about the short film was how they handled both Reptile and Baraka, making them disfigured serial killers. Here, Baraka is just an Orc-like creature from another dimension. And to top it all off, half of each episode here is animated. It doesn't help that the entire thing is just a narrated montage instead one basic story.

But looking at them alone, they still only kind of work. The budget is low, and even the beards look fake. The animation is decent, and almost all of the blood comes in those segments (and there is quite a bit there). The action during the live-action segments is mixed. On the one hand, the fighters (either the actresses or stunt doubles) showed they had skill. But the way it was filmed made it painfully clear they weren't even coming close to hitting each other, despite the reactions of being hit. So mixing together these two viewpoints, I can say these are overall not terrible, but mediocre episodes that just don't quite come together. And I agree with the theory that Warner stepped in and forced the creators to do this instead, since these two episodes are so drastically different (in every way) to every other episode.

Episode 6 - Raiden

Raiden one day appears during a lightning storm in the yard of a mental institution. Of course, everybody thinks he's crazy and they force him into treatment as he won't give up the guise that he's Lord Raiden and must get out to stop Shao Kahn by participating in the Mortal Kombat tournament.

This episode begins with a note from the creator stating that this episode is the perfect mix of realism and mysticism that fans expect of the series, particularly since the massive amounts of complaints over the last two episodes. And he was right. If they're going to include the mystical elements, this should be the degree to which they do it. It was the perfect amount of gritty realism and hint of magic (that mainly come in how the episode opens and closes). The actor is fantastic, and the visuals are done very well. It's just a fantastic episode, and arguably the best of the season. I also love how he gets his trademark hat at the end.

Episodes 7 & 8 - Scorpion and Sub-Zero

Hanzo Hasashi (Ian Anthony Dale), also known as The Scorpion, is a loving family man who also runs a samurai clan. As they await the arrival of the Shogun, Hanzo gets a message that the Shogun needs to see him immediately. But when he gets halfway there, he discovers the Shogun dead and frozen in the snow. That's when a member of a rival clan, code-named Sub-Zero (Kevan Ohtsji), appears and admits he is now going to wage war on Hanzo's clan. And because Hanzo has left his village defenseless, it is currently being raided. So Hanzo must defeat Sub-Zero and get back to his village before it's too late for them and his family.

The Raiden episode might be the best overall, but these two are my favorite. These two episodes have the strongest story and the strongest characters with Hanzo and his son. You really feel for Hanzo as you get to know him through the setup of Episode 7. And then you get the fighting in Episode 8 (which is done incredibly well, I might add), and you can feel the drama and urgency behind it. Sub-Zero does show some supernatural abilities, which I both like and dislike, as it conflicts me on the realism aspect of everything (though at least by the end, you realize there's a reason he can do it). But really, this is kind of how the Kitana and Mileena episode should have been handled--a similar style to this would have worked well with that story. The ending is also kind of iffy as more blatant mysticism is brought it, but it's cool how a framing revenge plot ties in. Overall, it's not as balanced as the Raiden episode, but where it succeeds, it really succeeds.

Episode 9 - Cyrax and Sektor

Cyrax and Sektor are two members of the oldest and deadliest ninja clan in the world. However, the clan is changing with the times, and the Grand Master teams up with the Cyber Initiative (run by a pre-episodes 1 and 2 Kano). The two men are to be transformed into deadly robots as practice before the whole clan is changed to the format, as well.

This was the one episode I hadn't seen. It's a good idea, but kind of a weak execution. And I say this only because it felt way too short and incomplete. It's not a bad episode, really, and the action is good. But after the emotional stakes of the last two episodes, this one seemed to fall flat. There was no connection to any of the characters. And once the two turned cyborg, everything was mainly middle-grade CGI, so even the fighting was iffy. They hit hard, but I just didn't care about what was happening. And then it ends. So like I said, it had some good ideas, but the execution could have been better.

Final Thoughts

Out of 9 episodes, 5 are really good. The other 4 are a big lacking, mainly due to stylistic differences, poor writing, and iffy casting (at least in the case of Johnny Cage). Since they don't need to be watched altogether (they're basically just shorts that barely connect), I'd suggest that, if you're interested, you only need to check out Episodes 1, 2, 6, 7, and 8. But definitely check out Mortal Kombat: Rebirth if you're one of the few people who still hasn't seen it. That was amazing, and I wish this could have followed a little more closely with that. But as it is, this was suitable, and I will check out the next season to see where it goes. If I had to rank the episodes individually, I'd do it (from best to worst) as 6, 7/8, 1/2,  9, 4/5, and 3. But as a whole, it gets the following...


I Am McLovin!

V.G. Movies #9: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

Last week, I discussed the background leading up to the first Mortal Kombat film, including the origins of the game. That film followed mainly the first game with a couple things taken from the second (such as the character of Kitana). But the film that followed took heavily from the third.

Now, Mortal Kombat 3 is famous for a few things. First and foremost, as I stated last week, it spawned a couple other games that were basically enhancements of itself (similar to Street Fighter II). But what these games, in any incarnation, have in common is that they include a plethora new characters.

The game's story is a good one--overlord Shao Kahn plans to revive Queen Sindel (Kitana's mother) in the human realm so that he can cross over into it and, thus, begin merging the realm with Outworld as a kind of loop hole in the rules of the Mortal Kombat tournament system. Because of his actions, the majority of the people of Earth are destroyed, with the exception of a select few. Shao Kahn sends his extermination squads out to take care of those remainders. Also, Raiden--who cannot use his powers in Outworld--begins to lose his powers due to the merging.

There are new characters, ideas, and subplots galore, as well. There is an added cybernetics subplot that gives Sonya's partner Jax some mechanical arms. It also is used to turn deadly ninja warriors into robots, including Smoke, Cyrax, and Sektor. We are introduced to Sub-Zero's younger brother, who is out to gain revenge on Shao Kahn; two dying species at war with each other, one of each being in Shao Kahn's army (Sheeva and Motaro); and many other characters with their own stories, like Stryker, Kabal, Nightwolf, Mileena, Jade, etc. One of the biggest surprises here is that Johnny Cage is actually killed and is not a playable character.

The reception of the game was decent and the game was a hit. Its biggest criticism was that it took away too many of the main and popular characters and replaced them with a ton of new ones. I find that particularly interesting considering what happened in the film adaptation...

THE FILM

When adapting something from a source material (say, a video game) that has a big fan base, your film tends to end up in one of these categories: 1) It ignores the game but still turns out kinda decent (Resident Evil); 2) It takes the spirit of the game, still ignoring some of it, but putting in some fan service here and there and it turns out pretty good (Mortal Kombat, Silent Hill); 3) It attempts total fan service, making fans happy but alienating a mainstream audience (FF7: Advent Children); or 4) It ignores the game and turns out terrible (majority). I can say that this is one of the few game-based films out there where the film is total fan service, yet it upset fans and mainstream audiences alike. It's that bad.

The film picks up where the first left off. Liu Kang (Robin Shou), Raiden (James Remar), Sonya (Sandra Hess), Johnny Cage (Chris Conrad), and Kitana (Talisa Soto) have just won Mortal Kombat and are expecting some peace. However, Shao Kahn (Brian Thompson) appears and begins to take over the earth realm by attempting to merge it with Outworld. At his side is Kitana's mother, Sindel (Musetta Vander), who had died years prior. The gang must figure out a way to prepare themselves and find a way to stop Shao Kahn before its too late and his extermination squads destroy mankind completely. You will also see the likes of Sheeva, Motaro, Jax, Jade, Nightwolf, Ermac, Cyrax, Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Smoke, Rain, Baraka, and Mileena through the course of the film (as well as mentions of Stryker and Kabal)... whether it makes sense or not.

Mistake #1: Recasting every character except Liu Kang and Kitana. I guess if you're going to recast Christopher Lambert, the best option would be the almost identical James Remar, but his acting was atrocious in the film. But then again, everybody's acting in this film was atrocious. Still, you lost the bulk of your cast. The wise-cracking Johnny Cage is killed off in the first few minutes of the film... and although canonical with the game it's adapting, it was a poor choice. His character is basically replaced with the wise-cracking Jax, who makes very similar jokes as Cage did.

Mistake #2: The story--whatever there is of one--makes no sense. There really is no story here, to be perfectly honest. Shao Kahn shows up, but his character is quickly undermined by the fact his all-powerful father is involved. But by the end, it seems his father really isn't controlling things. But then again, he is. It makes no sense. Anyway, Shao Kahn wants to take over earth realm... why? They never say. He just does. Kitana is the key to everything, and everybody says so. But then she's not, so... yeah. Everybody has to split up to... no real reason. Liu Kang has to find Nightwolf to learn a skill (animality--an actually cool way to bring that into the film) to defeat Shao Kahn. And I assume Raiden drops off Sonya to pick up Jax. But why split up? Why not just go on one mission at a time and save yourselves some trouble? It doesn't matter anyway, as the animality is pretty freakin' useless, and Jax comes in handy twice--though one of those times doesn't count because it was while he was being rescued, so Sonya wouldn't have needed saving had she not been there in the first place to rescue him.

Mistake #3: The excess characters and their misuse just drags the film down. Some make sense: Sub-Zero's brother explains (before he disappears never to be seen again) that Smoke was reprogrammed to go after Liu and the others to stop them (though never explained how Smoke came into being or why he was after Sub-Zero's bro to begin with). Others like Rain or Ermac--hell, even Sheeva and Motaro--make sense because they're just a part of the army. But then there's a totally random re-appearance of Scorpion (who now has 2 stingers), despite his death in the previous film. Mileena shows up for absolutely no reason, fights for maybe one minute, and is never given a name. Baraka is just some monster that guards the cages. Again, at least half of these characters aren't called by name, some of them only appear momentarily and disappear just as fast, and almost all of them die stupidly. The inclusion of all of these characters left no room for further exploration of story or character development or themes. This leads to...

Mistake #4: No exploration of story, character, or themes. It sets up an interesting bundle of ideas with cybernetics versus raw human nature and potential. Whether that's Jax and his cybernetic arms vs his regular arms (which is kind of explored), or the idea of building killing machines like Cyrax when you could train yourself to bring out your animal instincts, like with Nightwolf or Liu Kang. But the cybernetics stuff is barely a sidenote, the animality stuff is worthless, and even the original themes of fighters with or without souls that the game itself explores is nonexistent.

Mistake #5: Visually, this movie blows. There is an infinite amount of green screen that looks terrible. The CGI is just as bad as the first film, and the director, for some reason, felt the need to include a couple CGI monsters here and there. And, yes, the animality moment is painful. I even knew that at 11 or 12 or however old I was when this film came out. But even when the film goes more natural, it doesn't work. The animatronics and whatnot was better with Goro in the first film and just looks really rough in this one (with Sheeva or Motaro, specifically).

If I could give this film anything, it's that there may be a fight or two that are decent. Some of the fighting choreography is alright, though even most of that is incompetent (what was with the Raiden dancing fight? It looked like it came right out of the "Total Eclipse of the Heart" music video). The film isn't super painful or anything. It is certainly bad, and it did hurt to sit through at times. But I've definitely seen worse films. This could easily be one to sit with friends and make fun of. I do want to ask this, though: Why the hell are there 11 minutes of credits at the end? I remember the credits being long when I was a kid, but this is ridiculous. There are no scenes inter-playing with the credits or anything. It's just credits. For 11 minutes. Seriously... even the ending credits are incompetent at their job in this film. That's just sad.


The Zed Word

V.G. Movies #8: Mortal Kombat.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

In 1991, four men began development on an action game originally meant to star Jean-Claude Van Damme. But that fell through. They continued with development, but then had trouble even coming up with a title. Somebody suggested the word 'combat', and as a joke, another changed the C to a K. Soon, Mortal Kombat was born. But one of the early things to separate this game from others was the fact that instead of giving digitized characters, production company Midway came up with a motion capture system so that the fighters would be more lifelike.

The basic story of the games is that there are Elder Gods who have created multiple realms. If any particular realm wanted to conquer another realm, they must first defeat that realm in ten consecutive Mortal Kombat tournaments. One realm, Outworld, has already defeated Earth Realm nine times, and it's time for the tenth tournament. The thunder god Raiden helps form a team of fighters to stop Outworld's Shang Tsung from winning, headed by a monk named Liu Kang. Also on tap are Special Forces agent Sonya Blade, out to take down a killer named Kano. Then there was Hollywood action star Johnny Cage, and finally ninja warriors Scorpion and Sub-Zero. The game included a sub-boss with the four-armed goliath, Goro, and a secret enemy, Reptile.

The game was originally released to arcades in August 1992, with its sequel hitting arcades the following year. The third came out in 95, and over the next couple years, it received a few enhancements, gaining new characters--similar to what happened with Street Fighter II. In 1994, a techno group called The Immortals released a music album based on the first game. The main theme, Techno Syndrome, was taken and used (with some alterations) the following year as the main theme of the film. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The game was considered one of the most controversial games ever made, and it even won most controversial game of 1993. The game gained such notoriety, it found itself in government hearings and, soon, was almost single-handedly responsible for creating the ESRB--the company which gives ratings to video games (like the MPAA for films).

Such brilliant publicity could not go unnoticed. In 1995, a then-unknown director named Paul W.S. Anderson created a live-action version. While the film did take almost all of its story and characters from the first game, there were a few things here and there taken from the second game in the series. It was a mixed bag for critics, but was well received by fans. It was popular enough to spend three weeks in the #1 spot, and then gain a sequel (I'll get to that next week). And it's still today considered one of the better video game adaptations. So let's see how it fares.

THE FILM

I saw this film in theater, maybe even a couple times, and I owned it on VHS. And of all the films on this list, this was probably the one I watched most recently prior to the start of this project. The plot of the film is pretty identical to that of the first game. Liu Kang (Robin Shou) is out to gain vengeance on evil sorcerer Shang Tsung (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) for killing his little brother in the previous tournament. Lord Rayden (Christopher Lambert) is out to protect him and the others who are coerced into joining--movie star Johnny Cage (Linden Ashby) and special agent Sonya Blade (Bridget Wilson), who is after a criminal named Kano (Trevor Goddard). But Shang Tsung isn't alone. He has two warriors under his command: Sub-Zero (Francois Petit) and Scorpion (Chris Casamassa). It will take everything the good guys have to stay alive, which is why Princess Kitana (Talisa Soto) helps when she can.

The acting isn't anything special. It's not good or bad. Christopher Lambert is fun as Rayden, though, and he really hams it up--as does Cary Tagawa as Shang Tsung ("YOU... will be next!" "Your. Soul. Is. Mine!" "NEVER!"). But I did want to mention the guy who plays Kano. Did you know that the game makers were so impressed with Trevor Goddard's portrayal that they actually changed Kano in the games to make him Australian? Bet that was the first time a film adaptation has actually been so good it's changed the games (and probably the only time).

If this film suffers anywhere, it's in the visual effects department. Goro is alright, and they do make the four arms look decent. But there are other times he just looks silly. The real problems, though, come in with the CGI--particularly Reptile. There are numerous moments throughout the film where the group is being followed by a creature version of Reptile, and it's some of the most painfully bad CGI I've ever seen. I mean, this was so bad that my 9-year-old self knew it was bad even for its time.

But it makes up for practically everything with its action. It's not sparse with it, and it's a lot of fun. The dining hall fight. Johnny Cage vs. Scorpion (ties for best fight in the film). The other best fight is Liu Kang vs. Reptile. Despite just random leaping around for no reason, it has some great moments, all culminating in an epic bicycle kick. And the climax fight between Liu Kang and Shang Tsung is fantastic, if only for the final seconds that build up to the fireball.

This movie has everything you would want from a Mortal Kombat film, at least one from the mid-90s. The action is a lot of fun. The characters are good portrayals. Granted, fan favorites Sub-Zero and Scorpion (though mostly Sub-Zero) are given small roles. It's cheesy, yeah, but it totally works. Overall, There's good humor, good action, and one of the best damn movie themes ever made. Those were $500 sunglasses, asshole!


A Keanu 'Whoa'

Video Game Movies: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

I haven’t done this article-type since the Harry Potter one, which was one of my first articles, so this outta be interesting. With the advent of another live-action Street Fighter movie coming (centered around Chun-Li… who is being played by the non-Asian Kristin Kreuk), I felt it might be a good time to talk about Video Game Movies. Video Game Movies have been the bane of movie existence for some time. Some are pretty good, others decent, but most are just God-awful and incredibly horrible in paying the original source material homage. The following five movie series’ (or just movies) will detail what is good, bad, and ugly about each. But you don’t always have to be a fan of the games to be able to say whether or not it was a bad movie (though it does help some). So without further ado, here we go.

NOTE: Uwe Boll movies were automatically disqualified from this list due to none of them having any quality outside of ‘ugly’.

Super Mario Bros. (1993).

Intro: What’s a video game movie list without this one? Seriously. It would just be incomplete. Super Mario Bros., based on the insanely popular video game series of the same name, starred Bob Hoskins as Mario, John Leguizamo as Luigi, Dennis Hopper as Koopa, and Samantha Mathis as Princess Daisy. Though I must admit I haven’t seen this one since I was younger.

The Good: The movie might be bad, but it had some fun moments. Yoshi, after all, looked pretty cool. Also, those jumping boot things that they wore later on into the movie were cool. And Samantha Mathis was pretty hot in this movie, I have to say. Oh, and getting their red and green uniforms toward the end was funny/cool.

The Bad: Probably the acting, but it’s been too long to say. If I had to add something to this category, though, I’d say the ending. It left it at this huge ambiguous cliffhanger that really isn’t explained at all… and there’s probably never going to be a sequel… so that sucks. Most of everything else pretty much falls into the next category, though.

The Ugly: The story is absolutely nothing like the game. It’s like the writers tried to pay homage, but then got scared that the audience might not be able to grasp or comprehend the fantasy aspect of it, so they added a scientific twist to the whole thing. Instead of being just another world, it became a parallel universe where all the dinosaurs went when the meteorite crashed. Then they evolved into humans, as if they were afraid of having walking dinosaurs. And the Goombas were just de-evolved human-forms with huge bodies and tiny heads (when it should have been the OTHER way around). Toad was a hippie with a guitar and harmonica who was turned into a Goomba. Koopa was just an old dude who turned into a Raptor or something for roughly 2.5 seconds at the end instead of being a bulky monster dinosaur thing. It was just completely screwed up.

The Mortal Kombat Movies (1995 and 1997).

Intro: The first movie was actually pretty decent and fun. The second movie was, well, not. The first one revolved around just the basic characters from the first game or so. The second one… well, we’ll get to that.

The Good: The first movie was entertaining, stayed true to characters, and had some cool action. Scorpion and Sub-Zero were awesome. The Liu Kang/Reptile fight is wicked awesome. Goro was cool looking, too. I liked how they even threw in signature moves for each character. And Liu Kang doing the Hadoken or whatever at the end was awesome. The second movie… well, it was cool seeing all those characters on screen. And the Scorpion/Smoke/Sub-Zero fight was neat.

The Bad: First of all, Johnny Cage dies within the first five minutes. How lame is that? Second, the bad guy was lame and wasn’t nearly as creepy as Shang Tsung. Third, the dude who played Rayden changed (with a shorter haircut), only to be explained by him becoming mortal or something. Finally, the woman who played Sonya also changed… pfft. They kill off the character when the actor is the same, but they keep the characters whose actors change.

The Ugly: While seeing all the brand new characters from the later games on screen was cool, there were just far too many trying to be incorporated, and the story suffered for it. Not to mention that there were just some incredibly pointless scenes. It made the movie muddled and nearly pointless.

Silent Hill (2006).

Intro: Again, based on the games of the same name, Silent Hill is a creepy survival-horror game (supposedly one of the scariest). I haven’t played any of the games, but I’ve read that the movie was similar to the first game (I believe), but changed up a bit (such as making the main character a woman instead of a man).

The Good: This movie did have some pretty creepy moments, most specifically the ‘darkness’ scenes with Pyramid Head and all the other monsters (The Janitor was crazy! And I don’t mean the one from Scrubs). The story was done pretty well, too, as everything that comes together at the end was all pretty cool. The acting wasn’t too bad, either.

The Bad: After the first viewing, the movie gets pretty boring, especially the beginning. And the scenes with the husband (Sean Bean) are almost completely irrelevant and pointless. In fact, the movie was written with only a full-female cast, but the studio wanted some men in there, so they added the husband’s side of the story. It’s obvious that it was just tacked on with no real purpose.

The Ugly: The ending basically ruins this movie for me. I try to pretend the movie ends as soon as they drive off away from Silent Hill. But no… they go home in a world covered in the misty stuff never again to come back to the husband/father… and the little girl is still possessed or whatever by her evil half… and the sequel doesn’t seem to be coming until 2010 at the earliest, with possibly none of the cast from the first movie involved.

The Resident Evil Trilogy (2002, 2004, 2007).

Intro: The Resident Evil Trilogy is an odd puppy. The first movie is nothing like the games. The second movie tries to overcompensate. The third movie has to deal with the repercussions of the first two. So let’s get into it, shall we?

The Good: The first movie has the overall feel of the games, and the licker is pretty cool. The second movie has some of the characters from the games, such as Carlos, Jill, and the Ashford family. It also gives us Nemesis and S.T.A.R.S. The third movie removes Jill the Ashford’s and gives us Claire (sans her brother) and Wesker. The action that comes along with Alice is pretty cool, as she really is a badass, and Milla Jovovich is always cool. Oh, and the big fight at the end of the third movie with Tyrant was wicked cool.

The Bad: As stated, the first movie is nothing like the games at all in story. And you don’t even know Alice’s name until the ending credits. The Mansion was barely used, either. The second movie added in more game elements, but turned it from survival-horror to action. The third movie, unfortunately, had to wrap up all the crazy storylines going on, which made it fall symptom to something similar to the Pirates of the Caribbean films.

The Ugly: Alice, a character completely unrelated to the games, was way too powerful of a character. She was literally almost unbeatable. That is… until the third movie, when suddenly she had weaknesses and limits to her abilities. Also, they cut and added characters in and out of these movies like they were nothing. Two characters major to the second movie (Jill and Angie Ashford) supposedly die between the second and third movies. Not to mention that a lot of the character backgrounds for the ones that were taken from the games were a lot different.

The Final Fantasy Movies (2001 and 2005).

Intro: There should technically only be one Final Fantasy movie (Advent Children), because Spirits Within really shouldn’t count. But we’ll get to those shortly. I’m ending with these two movies because they are perfect examples of how both not to make a video game movie and how to do it perfectly.

The Good: Regardless of anything, the graphics for both movies are nothing short of stunning. Forget The Polar Express, these movies were screwed out of recognition for their simply beautiful CGI. Now, as for Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children… that is how you do a Video Game Movie. Sure, they might have been doing it to cash in, but it seemed purely fan service. Every important character was there, it picked up soon after the game ended, and the story (while there isn’t much of one) is pretty cool. The voice acting, believe it or not, is done really nicely, too (with one exception). Oh, and the music is amazingly beautiful. A large portion is remixed from the game, but the game music was beautiful anyway. Finally, the action in is some of the coolest, most badass action I’ve ever seen in an animated movie (and I do watch anime). As for anything good about Spirits Within… well… the story was good, and it had a lot of really good voice actors (Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, James Woods, Keith David, Alec Baldwin, Ming-Na).

The Bad: Well, the only ‘bad’ goes to Advent Children, as most of the rest of Spirits Within would be under the next category. So anyway, Advent Children’s only bad side is that it really is a fan-service movie. If you haven’t played the game, you’ll probably be incredibly lost into most of the stuff happening (as it is a sequel to the game). Well, you might not be incredibly lost, as there is a voice-over narration that explains almost every key point you need to know, but you won’t get the deeper meanings or a full understanding of everything happening. Also, what the hell is up with the American voice for Cait Sith? Why they hell does he sound like a drunken Irishman? Especially since he’s actually a robot controlled by Reeve, who is even voiced via telephone before Cait Sith shows up in the movie, and is not a drunken Irishman…

The Ugly: This is pretty simple. Spirits Within had absolutely nothing, nada, zip to do with Final Fantasy. The first Resident Evil movie had more to do with its source material than Spirits Within, which is sad. There was one connection… a dude named Cid… but it was even SPELLED wrong! In the movie, they spelled it Sid. The movie itself isn’t actually all that awful… but it’s no Final Fantasy. There’s nothing even remotely similar to a Final Fantasy story that would be in a game. They should have gone with the original title idea and named it ‘Gaia’ instead of trying to cash in on the FF brand. That way, it probably wouldn’t have been boycotted like it was, it would have made more money, and Squaresoft wouldn’t have bankrupted like it did and be forced to merge with their rival company to stay afloat to become Square-Enix (it’s ironic that Final Fantasy was the game to keep the company going in the first place, and the FF movie was what basically killed them).

Conclusion: So all in all, I would like to conclude with this: Uwe Boll, stop making movies, you horrible, horrible man. You’re ruining video games and movies simultaneously. That is all. Oh, and people need to make more movies like Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children.