DRIVE ANGRY 3D.

I actually didn't know much going into this movie. I'd hardly even seen the trailer (and didn't remember much of what I'd seen). All I knew was that there was action, it had Nic Cage, and apparently something about escaping Hell. But boy, is there so much more. While I might spoil this more for y'all since it's more than I knew going in, I'm gonna go ahead and give you the plot--though not much more than what is given on imdb. The plot is about John Milton (Nicolas Cage), a man who escapes Hell to exact revenge on Jonah King (Billy Burke). Jonah is in charge of a Satanic Cult and just so happened to kill Milton's daughter and kidnap his baby granddaughter so that, by midnight on the next full moon, Jonah can sacrifice the baby and bring Hell on Earth. Along for the ride is Piper (Amber Heard), a waitress who Milton "befriends" and uses her car. They aren't alone, however. Chasing after Milton is a man known only as The Accountant (William Fichtner), wanting to collect him and bring him back.

This is hands down the most fun I've had at the theater so far this year. Granted, I haven't gone a ton yet this year, and they were for 2010 Oscar films. So this is technically the first 2011 film I've seen. And I sure hope the rest of the films I see this year are this fun. The movie is basically like mixing Constantine with Death Proof. It's sex, violence, absurdity, humor, and a bit of supernatural sprinkled on top.

One of the things I really enjoyed was that there's really not that scene where they sit Piper down and explain things. We're not given the boring 5-minute exposition moment. Instead, they give us the story through dialogue throughout the movie, and we piece everything together through what we're given (and we aren't given everything--just enough that matters). So those who wrote the script did a nice job with that. And speaking of, the dialogue had a lot of fun moments, too. But the dialogue was made even better by the actors.

Nic Cage doesn't go batty in the movie. He keeps it calm and collected, but it turns him into quite the badass in the process. Though, strangely, a lot of his comedy comes from the fact that he's not hamming it up. For instance, I think a certain scene in a motel room near the end of the first act would have lost something had he gone crazy with it. Then we have Amber Heard, who is awesome. She's no damsel in distress. She's there to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and she's all out of bubble gum. Not to mention she's damn sexy. Billy Burke is fun as Jonah, and he takes the role of ham in the movie. He doesn't go to Cage levels, but he definitely has his moments. But there are two people who steal the show. The first I want to mention is Tom Atkins as the police captain, and he does take it to some Cage levels at times. He's crazy and over-the-top, and he has a handful of fun lines. But the best of the film, hands down, is William Fichtner as The Accountant. He's funny, smooth, and completely enthralling. I want to know more about his character. There's a chunk of the movie where you don't see him for a while, and I really missed him. He was definitely one of my favorite parts of the film.

But then there's the action and violence, which is insane. Some of it is brutal; most of it is done with a (dark) comedic undertone, though. Cars and guns and baseball bats and garden tools and all sorts of things are used in this movie. And believe it or not, the 3D is actually very good. I'd recommend seeing it in 3D, as there are a lot of gags that were made for it.

Leave the kids at home, though. This is a pretty strong R. There's sex, (full frontal) nudity, language, extreme violence... basically everything you'd expect in an exploitation/grindhouse movie, which this basically is (and so much better than Machete and Death Proof). I'm just gonna stop rambling about it. It's a highly entertaining flick that, if you're a fan of this type of movie, I'd definitely recommend checking out. And to end with some cheese: It was one Hell of a ride that definitely left me happy (yeah... THREE puns).


Royale With Cheese

THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE.

Going into this movie, I pretty much knew what I was going to expect: magic, decent special effects, Jay Baruchel bumbling around, Nic Cage hamming it up, and me leaving entertained. Well, one of those things didn't happen. Inspired by the Fantasia segment by the same name (and yes, the segment is partially included), The Sorcerer's Apprentice begins by telling us about how Merlin had 3 apprentices: Balthazar (Nicolas Cage), Horvath (Alfred Molina), and Veronica (Monica Bellucci). Horvath ends up turning on the others and joining up with evil sorceress Morgana (Alice Krige) to bring back evil sorcerers from the dead and destroy the world. But when Veronica merges herself with Morgana, Balthazar is forced to trap her in a Grimhold--a Russian doll-within-a-doll-type object. Over the years, he also traps other descendants/apprentices of Morgana in the Grimhold over the centuries, and eventually also Horvath. Balthazar is given the task of looking throughout the centuries for Merlin's successor, the Prime Merlinian, and finds him in Dave (Jay Baruchel). Dave is supposed to have the ability to defeat Morgana once and for all, but he'll have to stop the newly released Horvath and his newest apprentice, famous magician Drake Stone (Toby Kebbell), before it necessarily gets that far. And all the while, he tries to woo a childhood crush, Becky (Teresa Palmer).

There's really not a whole lot to say about the movie that you couldn't probably suspect on your own. One thing that surprised me, however, was how they mixed magic and science. I'm not exactly sure why they did this, except maybe to have religious zealots either love or hate them even more (depending, I suppose). It looked cool, though. Some of the special effects could have been better (any of the 'statues-come-to-life' bits in particular). But they weren't too bad.

I mentioned earlier that only one of my expectations wasn't completely met. That expectation was, actually, Nic Cage hamming it up. Oh, he has his moments ("I CAN READ MINDS!" being a personal favorite), but I expected it to be more consistent. Who doesn't love a batty Nic Cage? But the majority of the time, he's just your average "mentor" character. Jay Baruchel is one of those actors you probably really like or mostly tolerate, mostly due to his voice. Personally, I really like the guy--and considering How To Train Your Dragon is one of my favorite movies of this year so far, I can honestly say his voice isn't that bothersome to me. And I really enjoyed him in this. Oh, and Alfred Molina as the villain is, well... Alfred Molina as a villain. You've seen it before.

The movie was, of course, predictable, but I didn't expect anything different. I didn't go into this movie looking for another Inception. However, there were quite a few things that were too similar to other things. For instance, they--for whatever reason--seemed to mix the original "Sorcerer's Apprentice" song from Fantasia with the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean, and it was pretty distracting. I half expected Jack Sparrow to walk on screen. Then near the end, there are these black tubes of smoke blasting from the sky, and I almost screamed out "DEATH EATERS!" Finally, I just sat there at the climax of the movie waiting (and honestly hoping) for Jay Baruchel to go "KAME... HAME... HA!" That actually might have knocked my rating for this movie up another notch, really. Though we did get a kind of "Final Flash" in there (if you know anything I'm saying right now, high five). I'm pretty sure there was one other thing I noticed in there somewhere, but I can't recall it at the moment.

Anyway, this movie was pretty good entertainment. It was predictable summer fun. There really wasn't all that much I disliked about it. Though there is one scene that has horrible ADR. Baruchel is talking to another character in a car, and the shot is over his shoulder. You can see his mouth moving, and it's nothing remotely close to what he's saying. And this happens twice. But it's mostly a pretty harmless flick. It's not great by any means, but it strove for entertaining and that's what it got.


I Am McLovin!

KICK-ASS.

I've been anticipating this movie for quite some time. But I really didn't know what to think of it from the Green Band trailer. Then the Red Band trailer came out and it was like "OMG," as they say. And the closer it came to release, the more excited I got. Ironically, though, I didn't realize it was coming out this week until it was almost Friday. Lame. But I just got back from seeing it, and I must share my opinion.

The plot is pretty straight forward. Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) is a nerd who starts to wonder why nobody has ever tried being a superhero. And after yet another mugging of him and his friends (Even Peters and Clark Duke), he decides to order a wet suit and be one. Well... it doesn't really work out, ending up in a near-death experience. However, it messes with some nerve endings and infuses his body with some metal plates, allowing him to take quite a punch or two. And then he tries again... still getting his ass kicked, but fairing better. And this time, people see it happen and put videos of the fight up on YouTube (or a similar site). Meanwhile, mobster Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) is losing some money and drugs to somebody ruining his plans, and he starts believing it's the new superhero Kick-Ass, while it's really the vengeful daughter-father team of Hit-Girl (Chloe Moretz) and Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage), who take a page from Kick-Ass' book and dress up like superheroes. But Frank can't get a hold of Kick-Ass, so his son, Chris (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), who really just wants to prove himself to his father, takes up the moniker of Red Mist to lure Kick-Ass into a trap and deliver him to his father. But all of this isn't nearly as easy as it seems.

Really, there's not a whole lot to say about the movie besides the obvious: it kicked ass (I know, so original). The action is phenomenally over-the-top and awesome, especially in regards to Hit-Girl. Chloe Moretz is the real star of the movie... at least the action parts. Kick-Ass (the character) really has Harry Potter syndrome. He's in over his head and, albeit having potential, mostly relies on his friends and acquaintances to survive at any given time. In other words, he gets the crap kicked out of him for most of the movie. But I believe that's the point.

As for the other characters, the most surprising was Chris/Red Mist. The trailers make him look like he's just gonna be some kind of wannabe inspired by Kick-Ass, but his story is actually much more interesting. Christopher Mintz-Plasse plays a much darker character here than he's done in the past, and he actually didn't make any of the character turns I expected him to. As for Nicolas Cage... other people have said it already, but this is one of his best roles in years.

There were only really a couple disappointing factors, but they weren't anything huge. First, the love interest angle of the story almost felt tacked on, like they did the rest of the movie and realized that they needed to give the main character a personal story as well, something for him to connect with when he's not getting beaten up. It wasn't overtly like that, but there were times when it just wasn't working for me. The other minor quibble was that they seem to build up this whole "he can't leap from one building to another" thing, but it doesn't really pay off anywhere. Granted, what it might have been doing was setting up a fear of heights which plays into the climax of the movie... if that's the case, then it's understandable. I was just waiting for a moment when he'd have to leap from one building to another, and it just didn't happen.

You've heard it already--the movie is uber-violent. Let's just say Tarantino would be proud. So let's just segue from that into the visuals: there's some good camera work, and the action scenes aren't confusing to follow whatsoever. And while there is a tiny bit of slo-mo, it doesn't feel out of place or overused. And there are some fantastic cinematography shots, like during the strobe-light fight, which is probably (outside the climax) one of the coolest parts of the whole film.

Besides the violence, the movie is hilarious, too. The only joke that really kinda seems out of place is one from the Red Band trailer--the masturbation joke. But it's so early on in the movie (the very beginning) that it doesn't feel out of place at the time. Only in hindsight. But there really aren't all that many crude sex jokes. And I'm not saying it bothered me. It didn't. It's just a random note looking back at the humor of the film.

One last thing I want to bring up is the soundtrack. This movie had to have one of the coolest action-comedy soundtracks ever. I seriously just loved the music in this movie, from the instrumental stuff to the ones with lyrics. The only gripe I have with the music is that they ripped off the main theme to 28 Days/Weeks Later (the long song they play at the beginning parts of both movies and/or during any slow-building intense moments of either film). Well, I don't think it's a rip-off, because it isn't a song that sounds like the theme. It actually is the song itself. But considering it's one of my favorite movie tracks ever, I forgave it just for the sake of including such a great song during a cool scene.

In fact, I can forgive practically all of my quibbles with the movie based on the last 20-30 minutes alone. It's practically one long action sequence (like... a pre-climax leading up to the climax). And with a big dose of incredible and over-the-top action and good humor, Kick-Ass is the movie to see right now. At least if you're into insane action-comedies.


Royale With Cheese

(P.S. Was I the only person to chuckle at the movie theater marquee sporting that "The Spirit 3" was now playing?)

2 In 1: I'm Reed Fish and Adaptation.

This 2 In 1 focuses on two movies that play with similar narrative ideas. I don’t want to go into too much detail here, but this first movie did remind me of the second (which I saw a while back, and am going to finally review). So without dragging this out too much, here you go (Oh, and the second review might be slightly spoilerous only if you have no idea what you're getting yourself into and/or have never heard of the movie or Charlie Kaufman).

I’m Reed Fish.

While this movie’s plot makes it sound like your average, run-of-the-mill romantic comedy, it’s really anything but. Instead, it’s more of a dramedy with a bit of narrative flair. Reed Fish (Jay Baruchel) is the local radio show host/news anchor for the incredibly small town of Mud Meadows, working along side best friend Frank (Victor Rasuk) and the small town mayor, Maureen (Katey Sagal). He’s soon to be married to the lovely Kate (Alexis Bledel), as well, and everything is going to plan. But then an old childhood crush, Amy (Schuyler Fisk), returns for the summer, and everything turns to chaos. Also starring are the likes of DJ Qualls, Shiri Appleby, Chris Parnell, A.J. Cook, and Blake Clark.

If ever there were a movie with an ensemble cast full of underused and/or unappreciated actors and actresses, it’s this one. But it really is Jay Baruchel who holds the whole movie together, finally getting some time to shine in a leading role as opposed to his supporting roles in most Judd Apatow films (or the like). Though, for fans of Alexis Bledel, she’s actually not in the film all that much, despite being the main character’s fiancé (well, for a little while).

And what I mean by that last statement is this: You know how in basically every romantic comedy, there’s the build up between the romantic leads that just builds and builds until the end of the movie when it reaches a point where there’s a big fight and the guy has to try and better himself and fix everything? Well, that moment happens in this movie, too, except within the first thirty minutes. The rest of the movie is built around the relationships that Reed has with his small town, while he also tries to patch himself together and fix things. The relationships between Reed, Kate, and Amy, on the other hand, were the weakest point of the movie. It almost felt as if the film were not really a love story, and that the romance part of the film was one of the lesser aspects that needed to be brought forward. But I felt this only hurt the film in the end, when it tried to tie up all the loose ends and fix relationships. I just didn’t feel the character connections, and I even felt confused as to certain character reactions.

But confusion ran high toward the end (and a little ways into the beginning) when you’re thrown for a pretty interesting loop. Not only is this not your everyday Rom Com, but it’s not your typical narrative telling. It really did get into some weird Adaptation territory (or a better example, even though I haven’t seen it, but to compare it to things I’ve heard about the plot, is Synecdoche, New York). And similar to Adaptation, Reed Fish is actually the writer of the film (much like Charlie Kaufman was the writer for the aforementioned film, as well as the main character). But this is no Adaptation. This is maybe Adaptation Lite. But it’s still a fun little film.

So whatever your preference is, whether you’d like to see Jay Baruchel really get a chance to carry a film, to see Alexis Bledel outside of Gilmore Girls or those Pants movies (and don’t feel like watching the broody Sin City), to see Schuyler Fisk in something for what feels like the first time since Orange County, or just because you’re a fan of wacky narratives, I would recommend the film. It’s no masterpiece, and it could have used a bit of tweaking in the story department, but it’s a good little film.

I Am McLovin!

Adaptation.

When I first saw this movie a while back, I thought it was a total mind trip. Well, I finally got around to seeing it again so that I can review it. So how exactly do you adapt a book that can’t be adapted? You make it into a movie about your struggles adapting it into a movie and add in all the Hollywood-esque romance and conflict you didn’t want to add in the first place, but this time as a straight-up commentary on the idea of Hollywood screenwriting. Nicolas Cage stars as Charlie Kaufman and (fake) brother Donald. Charlie struggles with adapting the book “The Orchid Thief” for the big screen while Donald flourishes with a common thriller that includes everything Charlie hates about modern cinema. Meanwhile, in flashbacks, we are shown the relationship between the author of “The Orchid Thief,” Susan Orlean (Meryl Streep) and the man she interviewed, John Laroche (Chris Cooper).

Just the mere thought of this movie is enough to make one’s brain hurt. It’s a fictionalized version of Charlie Kaufman’s attempt to adapt a non-fiction book without fictionalizing it. And then it throws in everything that Charlie claims he wants to stay away from. Events that occur in the movie are later established by Charlie as he attempts to get over his writer’s block, making you wonder if anything you’ve seen thus far (or have yet to see) actually happened within the realm of the film or is just the adaptation of the adaptation about the adaptation (I had to think about it just to figure that out). And then there’s the whole mystery about whether or not Donald is real or just a split personality based on a conversation they have about multiple personalities being a Hollywood cliché (which is a perfect thing to add into this movie), so as to juxtapose it next to Donald’s screenplay about a serial killer with multiple personality disorder. But then you see Donald interacting with other people, but then you wonder if those people actually exist, too. This movie messes with your head so much it’s quite literally insane. And I love every bit of it.

The acting is done so well. This has to be Nic Cage’s best movie (or at least one of them). Just to see his range difference between the characters of Charlie and Donald is amazing enough. And I read that Mr. Cage decided to go against acting instincts for this movie and just do the character exactly as the director (Spike Jonze) told him to. And he got an Oscar Nom for it. I think that says something. Meryl Streep and Chris Cooper also do a fine job, especially Chris Cooper, who I really didn’t recognize at all in the film despite his large role. And then, of course, you have the brief supporting roles of Tilda Swinton, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Ron Livingston, all of which do just fine.

I can’t say much else. This movie is all about the story and the acting, though especially the mind-freak of a story. Funnily enough, both Charlie and Donald (who doesn’t even exist) Kaufman are both credited as writers of the movie, adding to the zaniness. If you haven’t seen this one already, I really do recommend it at least once. It’s worth the ‘trip’, especially if you know who Charlie Kaufman is and are a fan of film.

Royale With Cheese

P.E.S.T.

Just like with this week's DVDs Or Death!, I almost had to skip on P.E.S.T. due to lack of anything of interest. But alas, there is but one film to come out and 'shine' this weekend. Therefore, it is time for Pre-Emptive Strike Thursday!

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Title: Bangkok Dangerous.

Pre-Thoughts: Well... it's the only movie this weekend. And it's Nicolas Cage. But the action looks fun. (And it's Nicolas Cage). The story looks at least intriguing, too. (And it's Nicolas Cage). I might check it out. (And speaking of Nicolas Cage, you might be interested in next week's Nic Cage Blog-A-Thon over at Blog Cabins, which should be a hoot).

Pre-Score:

Stop Saying Okay! Okay.

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS.

So I just saw National Treasure: City of Gol….erm… I mean Chamber of…. I mean BOOK of Secrets (and I know Fletch has just been DYING to see this movie…).

First off, let me just say that the movie was actually pretty entertaining. It had a lot of crazy antics and historical alterations that made it enjoyable. And it was rather funny, most of the credit there going to the character of Riley (Justin Bartha). The basic plot is as follows: Some completely random dude (Ed Harris) shows up and gives some random (possibly fake/possibly real) evidence that Ben Gates’ (Nicolas Cage) great great grandfather was involved in the conspiracy to kill President Lincoln. Gates sets off to prove him wrong by finding this long lost uber-treasure (The City of Gold), which was what his great great grandfather was really involved with. And along the way he gets help from his parents (Jon Voight and Helen Mirren)… and the head of the FBI (Harvey Keitel). If you couldn’t tell, this movie has quite a few big names hangin from it.

While the movie was ‘shut-off-your-brain’ entertainment—and while simultaneously teaching you historical facts that may or may not (more likely) be actually accurate—there were a few things that bugged me. The biggest thing was the ending. I won’t spoil it, but there are just a couple things that happened at the end that irked me. One was a completely over-done cliché involving Ed Harris’ character that just didn’t seem to fit right (or make much sense). The second was that it left you totally hanging with one aspect of the story. It builds up this one thing and then gives you nothing. I realize they’re probably setting it up for a third movie, but it just seems to me that even if they do make a third movie (and they probably will), they wouldn’t use that bit of hanging story for the whole movie.

Another thing that bugged me, and this is just a nit-picky thing, was the title of the movie (if you couldn’t guess from the opening sentence). The Book of Secrets is only about 20 minutes worth of the overall movie (and the movie is over 2 hours long). The main story deals in finding this treasure, and the Book is just one of the pieces of the puzzle in finding it. It would be like calling the first movie “Benjamin Franklin’s Spectacles.” And then the city is just more like a really big chamber with a few really big golden arches (without the hamburgers) and staircases.

Oh, and one last thing that bugged me… my favorite line from the movie trailer was cut out from the movie (the one that has Riley talking about death and despair). I was so disappointed that it wasn’t in there.

But again, it was a fun movie; I laughed, I enjoyed, I was entertained, and that’s what movies are for. I know it might not sound like I enjoyed it from this overly negative review, but I did, I promise. In fact, I’m even going to give it a Keanu ‘Whoa’.

P.S. (I almost forgot!)... how come all of the bad guys were bald, or at least balding so much they were almost completely bald? Seriously, it was like a huge clue. If a character was bald or mostly bald, they had a connection and/or were a bad guy. There wasn't a single bald(or mostly bald) good guy that I can recall.