Top 10 Disney Villain Songs.

[I plan on making this into a mini-series involving different types of Disney songs and whatnot, so keep an eye out for newness over the next couple weeks.]

Last year I did Musical Mondays throughout the year. And while I did that, I often mentioned how I adored Disney musical villain songs (in fact, my #1 song on the countdown was one). So while the topper of this list might not exactly be a shock, I decided I'd give a solid look at the songs and give what is at least my current feeling toward them.

TOP 10 DISNEY VILLAIN SONGS

Note: I have not seen Hunchback of Notre Dame. I know a lot of people really like "Hellfire," and I've seen it through YouTube, but while I find it a good, dark psychological look at a twisted character... it's just not fun and catchy enough for me. I also have not seen Pocahontas, and while the likes of "Savages" is catchy... there's something about it I couldn't quite get behind.

Honorable Mention: I've gone on record as saying that while I love Tangled, "Mother Knows Best" is by far the worst Disney villain song ever written. However, there is a reprise late in the film (at the very end of the second act) that is much better. It's really hard to find a good video of that, and it's only about 30 seconds long anyway, so I'm not going to bother. I just thought I'd give that a special mention.

10) I Want To Be Like You (The Jungle Book)

This song maybe-sorta implies racism, and it might not exactly be what most people think of when they think of villain songs. But I count it. Louie is definitely a villain, albeit a fun-loving one. But it has all the tropes. He's making a shifty deal with the naive hero, and the naive hero is definitely in potential danger. And it's incredibly fun and catchy.




9) We Are Siamese If You Please (Lady and the Tramp)

Whereas the last song is maybe racist, this one definitely is. I haven't seen this movie in YEARS (like, I was probably a toddler the last time I saw it). But everyone remembers this song. These cats are just evil little creatures!




8) Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmations)

This is the first of two songs on this list where the villain song isn't really sung by the villain (this is the only one, though, where the villain doesn't sing any part of it). This is a song about the villain... and it's arguably one of the most famous villain songs.




7) Les Poissons (The Little Mermaid)

This one is just goofy, sadistic fun. From the perspective of a French chef, the song has him singing about what he's gonna do to all of the food he's going to cook and serve in very violent, disturbing ways. Made even the more disturbing due to the fact Sebastian is watching the entire time. It's a very minor villain song, but it's still worth mentioning. And it's super catchy.




6) Friends on the Other Side (The Princess and the Frog)

This is the newest song on the list, and it's the best song from the movie. Why? Um... it's an updated "Poor Unfortunate Souls." Seriously. Just listen to/watch it. It's not as good as the aforementioned song, but it's bright, colorful, and catchy while being dark and ominous. Oh, and it's sung by Keith David. And that's awesome in and of itself.




5) The Mob Song (Beauty and the Beast)

This is a song I always forget about when thinking about Disney songs. I'm not saying the song is forgettable. It's a very good song (and Pocahontas' "Savages" is basically just a poor rehash of this song... maybe that's one of my issues with that song?). Just give it a go.




4) Prince Ali - Reprise (Aladdin)

Jafar was originally going to have his own song in the film, but it was eventually cut. Instead, all Jafar gets is about a very short reprise of "Prince Ali" that is dark and a lot of fun as it turns it around on Aladdin.




3) Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)

This is the second song I alluded to early where it's a villain song that is more about the villain than sung by the villain. Though Gaston does have some very strong and memorable lines in the song. It's just an insanely catchy and very fun and light song in comparison to a lot of the darker, more sinister fare on this list.




2) Be Prepared (The Lion King)

Everything has been said about this song. It almost always makes either the #1 or #2 spot on this kind of list (it typically flip-flops with the following song depending on the person). It has such strong, symbolic visuals. And don't forget that Jeremy Irons actually stops singing 2/3s of the way through due to his voice giving out and hands it over to Jim Cummings... and you can't tell.




1) Poor Unfortunate Souls (The Little Mermaid)

'Nuff said.

The best video of this is not embeddable, so this will have to do: Click here.

V.G. Movie #35: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

Ah, Street Fighter. How I missed thee. I've already reviewed two films based on your franchise. There was the animated one that is actually pretty good. And then there was... you know. I give a decently detailed history of the games in the first link there, so I won't go much there. Instead, I'd like to focus on a certain character... Chun-Li. In the animated film, Chun-Li is central to the story and is pretty accurate to the games. In the first live-action film... she's not. Accurate, I mean. It's hard to tell what was central to that movie.

Chun-Li was introduced in 1991's Street Fighter II, the game that launched the series' success. She was the first female character in the series, and she had to be pretty tough to stand up to all those insanely over-bulky dudes. She mastered the Chinese martial art of kenpo, and she was strongest with her legs, doing mostly leg-related maneuvers (most famously the helicopter spin kick).

Her basic game story is that she is an undercover Interpol agent seeking revenge on M. Bison for killing her father. She goes after both him and his criminal organization, Shadaloo (or Shadowlaw). She finds out Shadaloo's involvement through an old friend of her father's Gen, and even gets some help from an Air Force member, Nash. Though in a non-canon spin-off series called Street Fighter EX, Chun-Li is a cop investigating the disappearance of her father, rather than his death.

Now, I saw this film in theaters. Let me tell you what... I've seen all the Twilight films in theater by myself. But it wasn't until this film that I actually felt embarrassed for having paid money to see this in a theater. I literally was trying to duck out of the theater without anyone seeing me--even strangers. In other words, I definitely knew what to expect going in the second time... but I'm not sure that helped.

THE FILM

I was originally going to attempt to write a whole new review from my original, which I wrote 3 years ago when the film first came out. I even re-watched the film. But as it turns out, I pretty much say it all and still agree with every word of that previous review that there's very little to add to that. So what follows is a slightly modified version of that very review.

The film is incredibly convoluted. Years ago, Chun-Li (Kristen Kreuk) witnesses her father being taken away by an evil businessman named M. Bison (Meal McDonough) and his bodyguard, Balrog (Michael Clarke Duncan). As she gets older and her mother passes away, a scroll is sent to her that leads her to Bangkok and find an old martial arts expert, Gen (Liu Kang...er... Robin Shou) to eventually seek her revenge. Meanwhile, an Interpol agent named Nash (Chris Klein) and Detective Maya Sunee (Moon Bloodgood) team up to investigate the deaths of all criminal businessmen within Bangkok... of course, all connected to Bison... who is trying to run the city... or something.

The acting was awful from everybody, except maybe Michael Clarke Duncan (and talk about really odd timing on my part). But he's such an uninteresting character, it doesn't matter. Though Chris Klein needs to be punched in the face for the performance he gave. Oh, and big, bad-ass assassin Vega? Yeah, played by Taboo. You know, of the Black-Eyed Peas. You know, the one BEP nobody cares about. 'Nuff Said. The script and all of its dialogue was atrocious, including the voice over. You know how they say not to do voice over in movies because it acts as a cop-out? A visual telling over showing? Well, I’d never understood that (because I’ve always seen voice over done well) until I saw this movie. Most of it was so completely unnecessary, and the film would have been better if they’d have shown the struggles or whatever it was that was being narrated instead of just saying it happened. For instance, there's a whole montage sequence detailing Chun-Li's struggles and personal evolution, but it's over in about 2 minutes and detailed mainly through voice-over instead of seeing any actual change.

The characters are nothing like their game counter-parts. Chun-Li here is made Chinese-American just to go along with Kristen Kreuk. And she's not Interpol or even a cop. She doesn't really have any job. She just... is. And the closest she gets to looking like her game counter-part is one scene where she has her hair up in her trademark buns. Balrog is supposed to be this massive boxer, but Michael Clarke Duncan shoots more guns and missile launchers than anything else. Also... how the hell was that M. Bison? It looked, sounded, and acted nothing like the character. It was almost more of a rip-off of Robert Patrick in Double Dragon than anything remotely similar to Bison. I don't know much about Nash as a character, but I can't imagine Chris Klein was even in the same realm of existence, much less anything else. (Seriously, his performance in this film is somewhere between Nic Cage and Tommy Wiseau.)

The story is all over the place in general, and there were also so many different illogical happenings, so many different things that just didn’t make sense. I don’t even know where to start listing things… from thick, plastic bathroom stall doors that shatter like glass to a white baby growing up in Chinese slums and ending up with an Irish accent. Or of how a girl can be raised in China (looking less and less Asian as she gets older) and end up speaking perfect English with no accent and also fails to comprehend Chinese characters on a scroll (of course it’s explained as ancient Chinese, but still). And then there’s how the police are able to figure out name and complete backgrounds of somebody who they only have a blurry picture of when most cops can’t identify murder victims that they have the actual bodies of. Not to mention one of said cops and said person in the blurry picture suddenly find one another randomly having had no previous contact and act as if they’re old buddies (which they aren’t). The list just goes on and on.

The only two redeeming values (and they aren’t very redeeming) are the action sequences and Kristen Kreuk’s incredible hotness. But the only action scene that’s more than 30 seconds seems to be the climax battle, which includes one of the cheesiest and most poorly done special effects I’d seen in a long time. With current technology, there was no need for it to look as awful as it did. But still, the action sequences were still, while not the best I've ever seen, rather entertaining... even if the wire-work was insanely obvious and it was clear they sped up the frames to make it look beter. And her helicopter spinkick moment was lame. But the best part of the movie was when Chun-Li goes into a club and seduces another woman. It lasts all of 30 seconds or so, but it’s hot. However, everything is soon ruined when you realize the song in the background (or at least the background song that follows it… I wasn’t paying that close attention to the music at the time) is an almost beat-for-beat rip-off ofTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II “Ninja rap.” Seriously, it’s like they put “Go ninja go ninja go!” on repeat, but then exchanged the words for “Street Fighter!” It was so cheesy and lame that it was nearly laughable.

This film is an utter mess. It unfortunately doesn't reach the cheese levels of the first live-action film, but is just laughable due to how absolutely nothing makes any logical sense and just looks ridiculous. And the terrible acting. I watched the "Unrated" version this time... but there's only less than a minute extra added, and I honestly couldn't tell any difference. If you want a good Street Fighter movie, check out the animated one. Hell, I'd even say to watch the original live-action version before this one. You'll get more so-bad-its-good entertainment there, at least. This one is just... not that good.

The Zed Word

(R.I.P. Michael Clarke Duncan)

The Vlog: Season 5, Episode 4 (Get A Clue - Part 2).

(Note: Don't forget to check out the newest Demented Podcast--information in the previous post!)

Almost every season has had a memorable performance from Dylan. I believe this to be that episode for this season. Also, there is something that happens between Dylan and Sebastian... both were separately improv'd by both performers... and it fit so perfectly. Can you spot it? Enjoy! (And leave some comments!)

The Demented Podcast #46 - 100 Chinese Gymnasts In A Box.

Reminder: We're switching to a weekly schedule for pretty much the rest of the season! So don't let the other episodes get lost in the fray before you get a chance to listen to them!

This week we're joined by Rachel Thuro of Reel Insight (and you can hear a few clues that will date when we actually recorded this episode). We talked about heist films with Michael Mann's Thief and Sidney Lumet's Dog Day Afternoon. After that, it was time for this previous Battle Royale champion to take on the Tower yet again. How will she do? Will she soar to the top or fall short early? (And am I actually fooling anyone trying to imply she doesn't finish?)

Due to Podomatic bandwidth issues, I will no longer be placing the podcast player on the site (and ask that nobody else links directly to it, either). But you can easily listen and subscribe through iTunes!

Current Tower Leaderboard

1) Dylan - 167 Points

2) Dan - 152 Points

3) Tom - 143 Points

4) Nolahn - 131 Points

5) Joanna - 93 Points

Current/Previous Battle Royale Champions

(BR4) Stevee Taylor - 285 Points

(BR3) Dan Heaton - 176 Points
(BR2) Dylan Fields - 114 Points
(BR1) Rachel Thuro - 171 Points

That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.

360.

Another V.O.D. review of a movie with only 3 digits in the title? I was on a roll, huh? This film is an ensemble piece looking at the theme of sex in all forms and the relationships built from it. There are a bunch of characters whose stories intersect all around the world. Mirka (Lucia Siposova) is a new prostitute for Rocco (Johannes Krisch), while her sister Anna (Gabriela Marcinkova) wants better for her. Michael (Jude Law) almost cheats on his wife, Rose (Rachel Weisz), with Mirka, but realizes how much he actually cares for his wife. Rose, however, was having an affair with Rui (Juliano Cazarre), who was cheating on his own girlfriend, Laura (Maria Flor), who finds out and leaves him. While on a plane to the states, Laura meets an Older Man (Anthony Hopkins) whose daughter has been missing for years. She also meets Tyler (Ben Foster), a young man who was just released from prison for sexual assault and is having a hard time coping with the open world. And then there's an Algerian Man (Jamel Debbouze) who struggles with his Muslim religion as he copes with the fact he's fallen for one of his co-workers, who just happens to be married. And stuff.

There's a lot of stuff going on in this movie, and it all does eventually tie together. But it's very loosely tied and there's no real overarching story. It's mainly a connection of vignettes that are tied together thematically. When all is said and done, it's like if they took Love, Actually, made it darker, and merged it with something like Crash and Closer. And much like any film that's more like an anthology or collection of vignettes, some are stronger or more interesting than others.

Honestly--and this isn't just bias talking--the section with Maria Flor, Anthony Hopkins, and Ben Foster is by far the best and most interesting section. Each are compelling characters, and the whole bit has the most tension as you're not quite sure if Ben Foster is gonna snap or keep to his reformed self. Outside of my nature to gravitate towards Foster, Anthony Hopkins is just fascinating to watch. And there's a whole bit with him near the end of this section where he has this epic monologue that's probably the best part of the film.

I'm not saying the other sections were necessarily bad. They just weren't as interesting. The top billing and biggest name actors went to Jude Law and Rachel Weisz, but they honestly have such small roles that's they're not really worth mentioning. In fact, they're more of a transitional story needed for the plot. Jude Law is needed to branch the prostitution story to everything else, while Rachel is needed to introduce Rui, who is only in the film long enough to know about Laura to build up to the aforementioned best section of the film. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that this was a concept film where the concept drove the "story" instead of the "story" using the concept to expand itself... if that makes sense.

And... there's not much else to say. The acting is solid all around and probably the main reason to see the film. It's an interesting enough movie to see at least once. I do like the "everything's connected" concept, but it has been done better elsewhere. If you're going to check it out, do so for the Flor/Hopkins/Foster section of the film. The rest is interesting, too, but everything could have been a little stronger altogether.


I Am McLovin!

50/50 Review #34: The Devil's Backbone.

This is one I've been wanting to see for years, particularly after Pan's Labyrinth. But was it worth the wait? The film takes place during the Spanish Civil War, as an orphan named Carlos (Fernando Tielve) is dropped off at a poor orphanage run by Carmen (Marisa Paredes) and Dr. Casares (Federico Luppi). He immediately makes an enemy in another boy, Jaime (Inigo Garces), who bullies him. Oh, and there's a ghost boy named Santi (Junio Valverde) who walks the orphanage at night while a caretaker named Jacinto (Eduardo Noriega) continually attempts to break into a safe and steal gold.

This is a film about characters. Of course I really liked the relationship between Dr. Casares and Carlos, and they share some really great scenes... including what I like to call the "baby rum" scene. I also had a similar reaction to this as I did with a completely unrelated film--Attack the Block. I was initially so put off by the character of Jaime and how terrible he is that I found it hard to get into the movie. But by the end, I realized that somewhere along the way, I had grown to really sympathize with him and feel bad for him. And I give a lot of respect to writers who can pull that kind of thing off. And he does have great taste in women, as Irene Visedo (who plays Jacinto's significant other), is quite the looker.

There is a lot going on in this movie, but with del Toro at the helm, it's all handled very well. If I had a complaint, it was that things did tend to get confusing to me at times, and I had to look up some plot points before going "ohh, so that's what's going on." Besides that, though, is the main reason I didn't really like this movie... let's see how well I can put this. Pan's Labyrinth, which I love, is a film that is basically a fantasy/fairy tale that just so happens to have the Spanish Civil War happening in the background. My least favorite part of that movie is all the war stuff, including the rebels subplot. This film is a Spanish Civil War movie that just so happens to have a ghost story involved. I loved the ghost story, but the war stuff just doesn't interest me. And unfortunately, that's what drives the bulk of this movie--not the ghost stuff.

But despite my disinterest in a chunk of the story, I absolutely do not deny the skill behind this film. The direction, the aesthetic, the atmosphere... everything about this film is done incredibly well. Even the CGI of the ghost and/or stuff accompanying the ghost looks damn good, especially for 2001. I also really liked the end with the kids banding together and how everything ended up going down. I just wish I could have loved more of the film as a whole. It's good. I liked it. But I think I might have wanted a little something different from it for me personally to really, really dig it.


I Am McLovin!

(P.S. Of course, as usual, the rating is based on my entertainment level, not the level of how good or bad the actual film is.)

MonthWatch - August 2012.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

V.G. Movies #34: Resident Evil: Degeneration.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

Despite the existence of the live-action films, Capcom--the game company who makes the series--decided to make their own film version. But instead of tying it in to the live-action film series, they naturally put it within the continuity of the games. The film takes place between Resident Evil 4 and 5.

THE FILM

This is going to be short, mainly because I'm mostly recycling from a 3-year-old short review. I didn't want to watch this again. The basic plot of this is that Claire Redfield is at an airport to meet a family she was there to help when there's a zombie outbreak. They end up calling for help, and a special team comes to their aid, including member Leon S. Kennedy. And, of course, they discover a much bigger conspiracy while they're there.

The CGI animation was terrible and distracting (I’ve really seen better CGI in video games), especially Claire’s face. The voice acting was awful. The dubbing itself was way off the mark (again, distracting). The dialogue was overly melodramatic and cheesy. For being one of the fan-favorite characters, Leon has the personality of cardboard (or Hayden Christensen… not much of a difference). The Tyrant looked like bad Claymation. For a zombie/monster movie, there was very little blood. Hell, TV’s CSI has more blood. While it did share the atmosphere of the games, even the action was mostly boring (with a couple exceptions). The whole movie as a whole was rather boring. And if you’re not a hardcore fan of the games, you’d probably get completely lost by the story. Finally, where the hell did that woman’s boobs come from at the end? All of a sudden, she has a D-Cup. It was so random. Anyway, it was just awful/terrible/awfully terrible/terribly awful all around. There were only a couple scenes that made it remotely interesting or entertaining, and those didn’t last very long.


The Zed Word

(P.S. And I'm being generous with that (rather ironic) rating.)

The Vlog: Season 5, Episode 3 (Get A Clue - Part 1).

Here's the next episode! What genre could possibly be next? I'll give you hint... I make an "Edward G. Robinson" reference AND an M reference in this episode. Take a gander! And leave some comments!

The Demented Podcast #45 - My Brain Has Exploded Five Times.

IMPORTANT NOTE: From this point on, we will be releasing the rest of the season on a weekly basis (at least until further notice). Otherwise we wouldn't be able to wrap everything up until like... December, and we already have almost the entire season wrapped at this point. So make sure you get your listening and comments in on time before the episode disappears!

Anyway, sorry for the big delay. Podomatic was having issues again. But here is the next episode. We were joined (over a month ago) by Dan Heaton of Public Transportation Snob to discuss Post-Apocalyptic films Delicatessen and Southland Tales. They're two very strange movies, but we had fun talking about them. And then we move on to The Tower. Will this former Battle Royale Champion do well... or fall early? Listen to find out!

Due to Podomatic bandwidth issues, I will no longer be placing the podcast player on the site (and ask that nobody else links directly to it, either). But you can easily listen and subscribe through iTunes!

Current Tower Leaderboard

1) Dylan - 167 Points

2) Tom - 143 Points

3) Nolahn - 131 Points

4) Joanna - 93 Points

Current/Previous Battle Royale Champions

(BR4) Stevee Taylor - 285 Points

(BR3) Dan Heaton - 176 Points
(BR2) Dylan Fields - 114 Points
(BR1) Rachel Thuro - 171 Points

That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.