1.03.2008

Aw... Why'd They Have To Die? (Top 10).

Warning: Spoilers from here on in! Continue at your own risk! If you’re spoiled, it’s your own fault!

You know when you’re watching a movie and then suddenly one of your favorite, if not your exact favorite, character(s) die? Yeah, it sucks. This here will be a Top 10 list of characters that upset me a lot when they died, wherein number 1 is the most upsetting. To note, this list will not include characters you know are dead or going to die from the beginning of the movie. As such, Alien 3 is not in this list, because Newt and Hicks died before anything else even happened (Well, Ripley dies at the end, too… but still. It’s Newt and Hicks!). Damn you, Seven and Fight Club director David Fincher!

Anyway, on to the list!


10. Ben – Night of the Living Dead (1968)

What can you say? There’s only one black guy in the whole movie, and he dies last! Take that, other token black characters of horror movie genre!

But seriously, Ben (Duane Jones) makes it through the entire movie as the only freakin survivor of the zombie invasion... on that house! He was the only guy that was the voice of reason in the house (everybody else was freakin out the entire time. I guess he’s used to this kinda shit down in da hood or something).

How he dies: He makes it to the next morning and hears the distant sound of help. He peeks out the window, only to be shot in the head by a bunch of drunken rednecks. Then he’s stabbed by a pitchfork and burned. Yeah, I know… racism allegory and all that.


9. Ed – Shaun of the Dead (2004)

To continue with the zombie theme of the previous movie on the list, I really didn’t see this one coming. Ed (Nick Frost) is the best friend of Shaun. He’s bumbling, foul-mouthed, and not too bright. He causes one or two issues here or there, but he was always good for a laugh.

How he dies: While trying to hold a few zed-words back for Shaun to shoot, one of them bites him. Then another one bites him. Then he just stays behind while Shaun and Liz leave and becomes a zed-word himself, to later be chained up in Shaun’s shed to play video games for the rest of his undead life.


8. Chas – Constantine (2005)

Chas Kramer (Shia LaBeouf) is Constantine’s driver, basically. He takes him around wherever he needs to go, even though Chas thinks he should be upgraded from driver to partner. Chas is funny and overall innocent in the scheme of things.

How he dies: He gets beaten to death by Gabriel (Tilda Swinton). Poor Chas.


7. Kevin – Hostage (2005)

Kevin (Marshall Allman) was the innocent brother of Dennis (Jonathan Tucker) who just got caught up unwillingly in this big hostage situation. He hates what’s going on. He freaks on his brother. He’s scared of Mars (Ben Foster), but really, who isn’t? When the helicopter scene shows, he has the chance to run and get out of there, but he doesn't. He really should have.

How he dies: Kevin attempts to get the hostages and get the heck out of there, but runs into Mars on the way. He tells Mars what he’s doing, and then turns his back on him (his mistake). Mars then proceeds to run up behind him and throw him over the second floor railing to slam onto the hard first floor.


6. Jack/Kyra – Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

In this sequel to Pitch Black, the character of Jack had not only been renamed to Kyra (Jack wasn’t her real name anyway), but was recast as Alexa Davalos albeit the original actress willing to take the part.

Anyway, Kyra is now this badass girl, having been arrested and learned everything that her hero Riddick learned. The only thing she discovers is that she couldn’t get the shine-job on her eyes like he did. So when Riddick shows up at her prison to save her, she’s less than happy to see him. But they get out of there and fight and work together and all that jazz. But then Kyra is kidnapped by the bad guys.

How she dies: After snapping out of her brainwashing, Kyra tries to protect Riddick, but is flung back against a spiky pillar, getting one of the spikes right through her chest. Granted, there was supposed to be another couple of movies in which Riddick goes to search for a way to bring her back to life… but it doesn’t look like that’s happening.


5. CJ – Dawn of the Dead (2004)

This guy probably has the most character development of any of the characters on this list, which is why he’s on it. Oh, and I swear this is the last zombie movie on the list.

CJ (Michael Kelly) starts the movie as a major a-hole, but as it goes on, his character is still an a-hole, but he’s become a lot more likeable than he was before. He’s helping the good guys now instead of being a jerk and yelling the whole time.

How he dies: While the others are running from all the zombies and trying to get to a boat and go out to sea, CJ stays behind in the bus and blows up himself and some zombies with a flare and some propane to help the others get away. Aw, how nice.


4. Frank – 28 Days Later… (2002)

This is NOT a zombie movie. Anyway, Frank (Brendan Gleeson) is introduced a little less than halfway in as the loveable ex-cop (or something) and father of Hannah. He’s a joy to watch on screen, although sometimes a bit too protective. You really like his character almost right from the time you meet him and hate to see him go.

How he dies: He’s pissed off that the radio signal that the military sent out was seemingly a lie, so he’s storming about this dump site. He starts yelling at a bird that won’t shut up and, looking up, a drop of infected blood falls into his eye. Frank gets infected and a heart-wrenching scene where he quickly tries to tell Hannah how much he loves her before telling her to get away ensues. Then the military that he was looking for shows up and shoots him down. Ironic.


3. Wash – Serenity (2005)

This was incredibly unexpected. This was also one of the first times I actually let out an audible gasp in a theater. The rest of the theater, along with me, began going “nooo!”

Wash (Alan Tudyk) was the pilot of the Serenity. There really isn’t much more to say than that. He was really funny and just a really likeable character (Come on, it’s Alan Tudyk. What isn’t likeable?).

How he dies: He flies everybody safely through an outer space war zone between the Alliance and the Reavers. He crash lands quite safely on the planet. “I am a leaf on the wind.” And then half a second later gets a giant sharp, pointy thing through his body.


2. Zack – Alpha Dog (2006)

I know this was based on a true story and all, but I had never heard of it, so I didn’t know what happened. That being said, I was completely and utterly shocked when they actually kill the kid.

Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) has Zack (Anton Yelchin) kidnapped after his brother (Ben Foster) fails to pay up on this drug deal (or something like that). And no matter how many times Frankie (Justin Timberlake) tries to get Zack to go home, he won’t do it (Zack liked it where he was). He’s a great kid and way too innocent for what happened to him.

How he dies: In the end, Johnny orders Zack’s death, so he’s taken up to some cliff, taped up, and shot down. There was absolutely no reason for him to be killed. That was messed up.


1. Leaven – Cube (1997)

No other movie’s ending has upset me as much as this one. It’s a great ending, don’t get me wrong, but I just totally did not see it coming.

Leaven (Nicole de Boer) is just this randomly innocent math student who wakes up in a trap-infested cube o’ death with a bunch of other people. Most of the other people are jerks or something of the sort. But Leaven figures out just about everything. She figures out how to get through the cube without going through the trap rooms. Hell, she was even right when she told the group they never should have left the first room they all met up in. She’s one smart cookie.

How she dies: Leaven, Worth (David Hewlett), and Kazan (Andrew Miller) make it to the bridge room that would let them get the hell out. They are on the run, as well, from the psychotic Quentin (Maurice Dean Wint). They open the doorway and are blinded by this great white light that is their escape to freedom. So what happens? Worth SITS DOWN, too exhausted and depressed to go on. He has nothing to look forward to back in his real life. Leaven tries to talk him into getting up and going, as the exit is right there. While she’s doing so, Quentin finds them and stabs her from behind with one of the door handles, lifting her up into the air with it, and dropping her to the ground. I was so mad.

Anyway, that’s it. I have a couple Runners-Up as well that didn’t exactly make the list:

-Doyle (Jeremy Renner) from 28 Weeks Later… (He’s burned to a crisp after saving the others).

-McCord (Steve Buscemi) from The Island… (He’s shot down after saving the others).

Oh, and one last random note: Snape kills Dumbledore in the next HP movie. I warned you!

3 comments:

  1. Aw Frank and Wash.. whyyyyy!? Gotta love Danny Boyle and Joss Whedon for doing it though. I love it when unexpected things like that happens. Joss Whedon especially is a hero of mine and his writing is pure brilliance.

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  2. Frank, Ben, and Ed were some awesome ones...I agree. What about Jean Reno in Nikita or Steve Segal in Executive decision. Thats right I said it...STEVE!

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  3. lol, Sheamus... My shameful secret is out. As big of a fan I am of Besson... I have yet to see Nikita. *hides*

    As for Executive Decision... I just didn't care :P . Never been a fan of Steven Segal, really. Some male I am, right?

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