OH F*CK, TOM CRUISE!

So, I've been building up a theory for a little while now, but I wasn't sure if I was just crazy or what. But I recently watched the trailer for Jack Reacher, and I've finally decided to bring my theory to light.

Does Tom Cruise have a recent clause in his contract so that in almost every movie or trailer he's in, his identity must be obscured for as long as possible? It's like... it starts and you only see the back of his head, or maybe his face is obscured somehow (hair, shadow, etc.). Things keep going, and then... suddenly... he turns, or looks up, or the camera zooms in on him, and it's almost like it's supposed to be all "OH FUCK, TOM CRUISE!"

Let's look at some trailers first. I'll kind of order them from most relevant to least relevant (which turns out to be rather based on time).

TRAILERS

-Jack Reacher (see face: 1 minute in)
-Rock of Ages (technically: 58 seconds; officially/hilariously: 1 minute, 56 seconds)
-Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol (see face: 58 seconds)
-Collateral (see face: 53 seconds)
-Mission: Impossible III (see face: 47 seconds)
-Mission: Impossible II (see face: 29 seconds)
-A Few Good Men (see face: 28 seconds)
-Interview with a Vampire (see face: 43 seconds, but not a huge focus on him anyway)
-Lions for Lambs (see face: 42 seconds, though this one doesn't really count to me, either)

MOVIES

I certainly won't be able to recall all his movies, but I know for certain that they play coy with his face at the beginning of Ghost Protocol (he's bouncing a rock off the wall, and it takes a while for him to turn and look). He takes a little bit to show his face in Minority Report, as well. I'm not 100% with Collateral, but from what I remember their was an air of mystery to his introduction. Hell, the majority of his cameo in Tropic Thunder banks on the hope that his face is obscured and it will take you a while to realize it's him and have an "OH FUCK, TOM CRUISE!" moment. Anyway, you get the picture.

It seems to be a more common thing as of late, like he just recently decided "Hey, let's freak people out who didn't realize I was in this movie!"

Has anyone else picked up on this phenomenon? And if you have, what other movies have you seen him do this in? And what do you think about it?

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL.

I've seen all the other Mission: Impossible films, though I don't really recall much from any of them. I will say, though... with all the insane action set pieces this movie delivers, I think it'll be hard to forget this one. This time, the story gives us, again, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), whose team has been framed for inciting war on Russia. The President declares Ghost Protocol, which shuts down the unit indefinitely. So now it's up to Ethan, Benji (Simon Pegg), Jane (Paula Patton), and Brandt (Jeremy Renner) to figure out what's really going on and stop it before it's too late.

There are two things that split this movie. There's the thing that makes it outstanding, and the thing that brings it down a bit. What escalates this film is the brilliant action. There are some truly suspenseful moments. I mean, you know Cruise is gonna make it, but it still keeps you on the edge of your seat. Everybody has seemingly been talking about two moments that pretty much happen back-to-back: scaling the building and the sandstorm chase. There's a reason for that, as they are both incredible moments in the film.

What brings the movie down, however... is everything else. I didn't feel incredibly invested in the overall story. It wasn't boring or anything, but it wasn't anything new or exciting. There's a nuke, they need to stop it, there are obstacles in the way. Again, what elevates the film is how they solve the obstacles. But getting to each one isn't all that enthralling. And I would actually argue that if it weren't for Simon Pegg, the non-action scenes would have been straight-up boring. Pegg brings charm and humor to every scene he's in, making the film that much better for it. And Renner does well himself, too, bringing both humor and sadness to the story.

When this film is good, it's really freakin' good. When it isn't, it's still good, but it could have been much better. I would agree that it's easily the best in the series. I do recommend it, and for three reasons. See it for the brilliant action, for Simon Pegg, and for Paula Patton eye candy... I mean, damn. They're nice. I mean, it's nice. The film. Action. Boom. Pegg. Funny. And stuff. Yeah. Check them... it... out. I'm gonna stop now.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. Happy New Year!)

TROPIC THUNDER.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, but I came out with a smile on my face and a good time behind me. Tropic Thunder is about a blundering war film based on a ‘true-story’ book called Tropic Thunder written by Four Leaf Tayback (Nick Nolte). But everything is screwed up: the explosives guy Cody (Danny McBride) is overly obsessed with his profession; the actors—action guy with failing career, Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller); extreme method actor, Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.); failing comedian, Jeff Portney (Jack Black); rapper, Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson); and the rookie, Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel)—are all screw-ups and completely messing up the film. So the director, Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan), gets advice from Four Leaf to film the movie guerrilla-style by dumping the actors in the middle of the jungle away from all of their modern-day vices and such. But when one bad thing after another occurs, the crew finds themselves in the middle of an Asian drug encampment, and they’re all very much real and serious.

The beginning was a little slow, though there were quite a few laughs. The big thing with this movie is the high number of cameo appearances, including the much-talked-about Tom Cruise. Sometimes they’re more than small appearances, sometimes they’re only brief. But all of them are funny.

The acting in the movie was done really well, I thought, all around. Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr., though, were the obvious leads of the film. The majority of the movie concentrated on those two actors’ characters. Jack Black’s character isn’t really the typical Jack Black, in my opinion (musically obsessed, hardcore spaz). But then again, Black wasn’t at the forefront of the movie, either. Brandon Jackson is pretty much like you’d figure him to be from the movie trailer. But the surprise of the group was Jay Baruchel, who really held his own against these other guys. You’d probably only recognize the guy from Knocked Up (the scrawny friend with the bad haircut). But his character here, though he’s not one of the top billings, played a bigger role than arguably even Jack Black’s. And his character was much better, too. Of course the stand-out was Robert Downey Jr. Anytime he was off-screen, I waited for it to go back to him (even though you could barely ever tell it was him). Oh, and Tom Cruise’s character is hilarious. He was very good, too. As for Nick Nolte? Well, he was Nick Nolte (intense and kinda creepy).

The cinematography was another thing done quite well. There were a lot of great scenery shots, as well as fun action shots. And on the subject of action, there was a lot, and it was all excellent. The only bad visual I really noticed in the whole movie was toward the end, when there’s this kid stabbing one of the characters… and the whole sequence with the kid (from the stabbing to what happened right after) looked really fake. Otherwise, it was great.

So we have the action down; what about the comedy? For an action-comedy, it’s half the equation. And it really worked. I was laughing, my theater was laughing, and it was hilarious in its absurdity. And the humor ranged all around the board: from just verbal humor, situational humor, gross-out humor, action-related humor… well, the movie was just really funny. I can’t say much more than that.

And I really don’t think I can say much more than that. The acting was done well. The visuals (in both cinematography and action) were done great. The humor was great. The cameos were great. All around, the movie was highly entertaining (except for a few slow spots toward the beginning), and I left the theater smiling. What more can you ask than that?

A Keanu 'Whoa'