The Demented Podcast #15 - The Zed Word Vs. The Greater Good (Live!).

Not only is this episode a week late, but it's also one of the shortest to date--for that, I apologize. However, the reasoning behind that (at least the lateness) was due to the fact... it was recorded live and in person! That's right, returning guest Rachel Thuro joined me (and her husband sitting off a ways, staring at us awkwardly the majority of the time) to discuss and compare the first two films in Edgar Wright's Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy: Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

After a nice discussion, we have our Versus. Who would win in a fight between the zombies and the village from Fuzz? It's really no contest. But you know what is? The Demented Tower! Rachel climbs it, and she has a lot to live up to as not only the highest scorer the previous season, but also as the current Battle Royale champion! And with her face-to-face with me, I can assure you she couldn't cheat. (As if she would do such a thing!)

Current Tower Leaderboard
1) Jason - 126 Points
2) Jess - 123 Points
3) Nick - 104 Points
4) Simon - 92 Points
Nolahn - Incomplete

Current Battle Royale Champion
Rachel Thuro - 171 Points

You can listen to this episode on the player below or by subscribing through iTunes.

That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.

Desert Island DVDs.

I'm running a little late with this post. A while back, I signed up for a big blog post thing at Fandango Groovers Movie Blog called the "Desert Island DVDs." The concept is simple: If you were stranded on an island and could only take 8 DVDs with you to watch for the rest of your life, what would they be?

First, I wanna mention a few I'd love to take but won't:

- Napoleon Dynamite (because I can already quote the whole movie... who needs to watch it?)
- Little Shop of Horrors (The musical version. Assuming I'd be surrounded by trees and other foliage, I'd get paranoid that a giant fly-trap will try to eat me in the middle of the night)
- Almost any zombie movie sans one (because I'd get paranoid that zombies will try to eat me in the middle of the night)

So... here we go with the actual list (in no particular order):

1) Shaun of the Dead

This is that "sans one" I was talking about there. This is pretty much one of my favorite movies of all time, so it would have to go with me. I like to watch this movie when I'm sick or really down, because it always cheers me up.

2) The Princess Bride

So that if I'm ever found, they'll find me a crazy, deranged individual who can only say one line for the rest of his life: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Because, honestly, if you could only say one phrase for the rest of your life, that would be the coolest one.

3) Oldboy

Because who doesn't want bloodshed, revenge, and incest while stranded stranded alone on an island? Plus, it shows you how to eat raw octopus... you know... in case you ever catch an octopus and are too lazy to cook it (or can't make a fire).

4) Gamers: Dorkness Rising

Probably the best movie nobody has seen. You can only get it online, and it's incredibly low budget. But it's probably the best portrayal of pencil/paper gamers I've ever seen. It's hilarious for anyone, not just gamers. And along with the comedy, it has heart. If only these guys would write for Hollywood.

5) Inside Man

One of my favorite heist films, and I love me some heist films. Maybe it'll inspire me to figure out how to do the perfect crime. That way, when I'm rescued, I can go rob a bank and get away with it... though telling them to give me the money while I can only say "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."... will be a bit difficult.

6) Spaceballs

Another one of my favorite comedies, this is a Mel Brooks classic. There are quotes galore. And hey, I might actually have a reason to use the line "Comb the desert!"

7) MirrorMask

Any time I get a bad case of writer's block or I just need some good ol' inspiration, I watch this movie. It has never failed to get the cogs turning. And when I'm alone on a island, Lord knows I'll need some inspiration and a good imagination to keep both sane and alive. So this one is a must.

8) Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

I needed a musical on this list, and I'm just as surprised as you are that it wasn't "Repo! The Genetic Opera." So why Dr. Horrible? A few reasons. First, it's a short watch, for those times I wanna watch something but don't feel like watching something for 2 hours (like I'll be otherwise busy, but whatever). Second, it matches up with my plan to come back to the real world as an insane, bank-robbing supervillain. But this one will help me keep my priorities straight so I don't lose sight of what's really important. Next, the music is just awesome. And finally? Who wouldn't want to be stranded on a desert island with Neil Patrick Harris?

Honorable Mentions:
-Repo! The Genetic Opera
-In Bruges
-Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

(Seriously... there was a whole 'criminal' theme going on there, and that so wasn't intentional.)

R2D2's Ultimate Top 10 Countdown Of The 2000s #1 - Comedies.

We're officially in the last 10 days of the year (and decade), and every other movie blogger is doing their Top 10 lists of the the year and/or decade. So I knew I had to follow the popular crowd... but I didn't just want to do one Top 10 list. No, I want to do 10 Top 10 lists. You heard me.

For the next 10 days, I'm going to post one Top 10 list a day, counting down some of my favorite movies. And this is how it will work: The next 10 days will consist of my Top 10 favorite films of different genres from the past decade. And then, on January 1, I will be posting my Top 10 of the decade. I will actually post 2 Top 10s for this post (OK, that's technically 12 Top 10 lists, but whatever). The first will use, in a new order, my #1 choices from the previous 10 lists to have a fair-and-balanced (but not in the Fox News kinda way) list. But then I'll be making another Top 10 of my overall favorites of the year (for instance, what if I liked my #2 horror spot more than my #1 musical spot?).

Note: These lists will not be "the best," but they will be my favorites. If those coincide, then great. But otherwise, these lists will just be what I consider to be my favorite films of the last 10 years.

The "genres" I'll be taking a look at are the following (in no particular order): Comedies, Dramas, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Horror, Musicals, Animated (including anime), Action/Thriller, Oscar Bait, Decade Specials (Superhero, Remakes, etc.), and Foreign (outside America, live-action, subtitled only... I know these can fall under numerous other genres, but I wanted to keep foreign films together. The only ones I won't put in here are anime, seeing I'm putting those under Animated).

So for our first list, I'll be taking a look at Comedies.

Top 10 Comedies of the 2000s

Comedy is a very wide genre. There are tons of subgenres that go with it: action/comedy, horror/comedy, British comedy, dark comedy, dramedy, slapstick, gross-out, sex/teen, etc. I'll be spanning the full spectrum of comedy for this list. How I've decided whether to include certain movies in other genres if they're cross-genre (such as horror/comedy) depends on the level of each genre they have. For instance, if they're more horror than comedy, they'll be in horror, and vice versa. All this being said, let's get into the list.

10. 11:14 (2003)

A dark comedy, 11:14 is funny, thrilling, and stylish. It has a great cast, a great concept, and a great twist ending. It's also incredibly underrated and mostly unknown. The film stars Henry Thomas, Hilary Swank, Shawn Hatosy, Colin Hanks, Ben Foster, Patrick Swayze, Rachel Leigh Cook, and Jason Segel. Its concept is similar to those of Go and Vantage Point, where the same story is told numerous times, but through different perspectives until you get the full story. But I particularly love how this movie pulls it off (with every perspective centering around events that occur at 11:14 PM), due to a major twist that is revealed through the final perspective.

I put it in my number 10 spot because, while it is an excellent movie, it's not the funniest on the list (it gets a bit dark and dramatic at times). But it's still great enough to make it.

9. Superbad (2007)

If the 2000s were anything in comedy, especially the latter half, they belonged to one Judd Apatow. I wanted at least one Apatow flick on this list, and I almost gave it to the one that started it all--40-Year-Old Virgin. But in the end, it came down to laughs, and I felt Superbad just held more. It's also the film that skyrocketed Michael Cera's career (and arguably Jonah Hill's, if you don't count Knocked Up). It also gave us the gorgeous Emma Stone. In fact, there are a few people in this film that appear in some of my other films higher up on the list. And that probably wouldn't have happened without this movie.

8. Death at a Funeral (2007)

I saw this movie earlier this year, and as soon as I did, I immediately had to go out and buy it. This movie is downright hilarious. From a stoned Alan Tudyk to a gay dwarf affair/blackmail scandal, this movie pulls all the right punches and delivers on the laughs.

7. Role Models (2008)

One of my favorite movies of last year, Role Models was an Apatow picture without Apatow being involved. It involved McLovin himself, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, as well as Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Jane Lynch, Ken Jeong, and Jo Lo Truglio, all from previous Apatow-produced (and/or directed) films. And, of course, Seann William Scott and newcomer Bobb'e J. Thompson as loudmouthed, sex-obsessed characters. Of course, the heart of the film is in the relationship between Mintz-Plasse and Rudd, with Rudd's slow acceptance of people a little different from the norm. Every character in this film was brilliantly written (except maybe straight-girl Elizabeth Banks), but it's like every character was written to be memborable.

My favorite scenes, however, involved all the nerdy LARPing. A bit of an RPG nerd myself, I really took into the fantasy nerd humor. Without these scenes, the movie wouldn't have been even as remotely good as it was.

6. EuroTrip (2004)

This is probably one of the main movies on my list that probably won't be making too many others. I'd call it a guilty pleasure, but I honestly think the movie is too funny to be a 'bad' enough movie for a guilty pleasure. Outside of maybe one or two people, nobody in this movie went on to do anything greater. It's over-the-top and silly, but it's loads of fun. Not to mention Matt Damon's cameo is one of my all-time favorites. And the "Scotty Doesn't Know" song is a classic in my mind.

5. Gamers: Dorkness Rising (2008)

Another movie that I'd put money on won't be making any lists, but not for the same reasons as the previous film. The reason this movie won't be making lists is that almost nobody has ever heard of it. It's an incredibly low-budget film that you can only buy online. But I swear, if you're a gamer of any kind, this is one of the funniest movies you will have ever seen. But what's so special about this movie is that, even if you've never played a game, D&D or otherwise, it's still accessible enough to be good fun (in a similar way that Role Models was funny to those who have never LARPed). The best thing, though? It doesn't make fun of gamers. It embraces and celebrates the hobby. And I dare you to watch this movie and not want to do any gaming afterward.

4. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (2005)

Who doesn't love Robert Downey Jr.? His fast-talking and forgetful narration quickly made this movie one of my favorites. And Val Kilmer's Gay Perry is great, too. This movie moves very fast, and the ending is hard to grasp the first time you watch it. But the great thing about this movie? It lends itself to rewatchability. Similar to this year's The Hangover, it's a cross-over genre you don't usually see too often: the comedy/mystery. But whereas The Hangover focuses more on the comedy than the mystery, this film blends both in equal amounts, making for a good laugh-out-loud time while keeping you intrigued by the detective story. Oh, and did I mention Robert Downey Jr.?

3. Zombieland (2009)

One of this year's best, Zombieland is a horror/comedy of the ages, right up there with another that doesn't need to be named. Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Abigail Breslin, and Emma Stone, Zombieland was an unexpected hit (well, to a lot of people other than me). It's stylish and fun, and Eisenberg and Harrelson worked amazingly well off each other. Not to mention it has one of the best cameo appearances ever.

2. Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

This is a movie that should be on a lot of people's lists. If somebody discussed comedies of the 2000s and didn't reference this film, they shouldn't be discussing comedy. A dry comedy if there ever was one, Napoleon Dynamite escalated far past cult status and into the history books as a low-budget film that, even if you've never seen it, you probably still know the whole film from beginning to end. Why? Because you probably know at least one person who walked around quoting it. Has there ever been another movie where basically every single line is quotable comic gold? I don't think so. Idiot!

1. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

If you didn't know this was going to be my number one comedy choice, then you probably don't read my blog on a regular basis. As one of my all-time favorite movies, of course Shaun of the Dead was gonna hit my #1 comedy spot. It's got everything. Simon Pegg. Brilliant writing. Zombies. Romance. Thrills. Laughs. Quotability. A lot of people might put Hot Fuzz on their list over this, but I honestly like Shaun so much more. I love Fuzz, but I think the writing in Shaun is tighter and funnier. Not to mention the "everything happens at least twice" aspect is stronger and more well-done in Shaun, which is one of my favorite things about the film. Oh, and it has zombies.


End Notes: So that's my Top 10 Comedies of the 2000s. I know I'll probably get lambasted for not including more popular films such as The Hangover or Knocked Up, or more "sophisticated" comedies, such as The Royal Tenenbaums, but remember, this is a list of my favorite comedies. And "favorite" is subjective.

Overrated Movies: Dance of the Dead.

Everywhere I looked, I saw nothing but high praise for this movie. They called it the next best thing for zombie films since Shaun of the Dead. And since I love zombies, and Shaun of the Dead is one of my all-time favorite movies, I had to check it out. And… well… uh…

Dance of the Dead has a pretty simple concept (and even a good one). On the night of the Prom, the dead rise from the grave and start eating people. And with the giant buffet waiting for them at the Prom, the only people left to stop them are the ones who didn’t go or couldn’t make it to the dance (for whatever reason). And it has the whole Breakfast Club ensemble, from the nerds to the cheerleaders to the punk rockers and the rebels.

Along with Shaun, the other movie that I heard this get compared to a lot was Return of the Living Dead. And that scared me, because I freakin hate Return of the Living Dead. It’s the bottom of the barrel on zombie movies and, to me, a disgrace to the genre. And unfortunately, Dance of the Dead was way more like Return than Shaun.

The best parts of the movie were the parts without the zombies, and for a zombie movie, that’s not a good thing. The opening bits with the character interactions were good and relatable, and all these are what reminded me of Shaun of the Dead. But once the zombies start up, that all seems to dumb down a lot and just get silly. My other favorite part was anything with the Gravedigger.

But with the actual zombies, everything was wrong. Let me just say that the second I heard them moaning for “Brains,” the movie started to go down on my rating scale (zombies cannot talk, nor do they prefer brains over any other part of the body). Then they did the next annoying thing, which is that just because you decapitate a zombie does not mean it is dead. What? Of course it does! Separation of the brain from the body equals zombie death! And this also means that if you cut off a limb or whatever, that said limb (whether it be legs, hands, etc.) should stop moving. Both of those things were two major issues that made me really hate Return of the Living Dead. But then we get to some other dumb stuff in the movie. Apparently these zombies can break down an engine or drive cars, but they can’t open a front door or break through a window. Oh, and punk rock music makes them stop attacking…. Huh?

There are so many things that bugged me about this movie. Even outside the zombie stuff and just under the actions of the characters, it just kept falling further and further into the realm of nonsensical and over-the-top silliness. Even the gore (which was plentiful) was just way too fake and over-the-top for my taste. The movie did get a few tiny chuckles out of me, though that was more toward the beginning. And as much as it set up all the characters and relationships in the first 10 or 15 minutes, I really didn’t care too much about who lived or died, which takes away most of the suspense. Even the awesome set up of a big epic zombie battle was just a set up for an ultimate let down (it’s like the final Twilight book all over again). Not to mention the movie was mostly predictable. So I hate to be against the norm on this movie, but that’s just how it is. This is not the next coming of Shaun of the Dead. This is just a slightly better done version of Return of the Living Dead.

The Zed Word

(P.S. Ironic rating, huh?).

12 Movies Meme.

So... I've been tagged! Fletch over at Blog Cabins got tagged first by Piper over at Lazy Eye Theater, then, in turn, tagged me. So what is this tagging business all about? Well, it's this meme thing in which each tagged person must state what 12 movies they would play if they were running a theater for 6 days.

So what I get to do is choose 12 movies, themed or otherwise, and spread them out over 6 days as if I would be showing them at this theater. It took me a while to come up with any idea of how to incorporate some of my favorite movies... and while my list isn't tidied into one theme (Fletch, for instance, did a bunch of movies that deal with different vices), each day I'm showing movies has its own theme. So here I go!

Simon Pegg Sunday.













- Shaun of the Dead is one of my favorite movies, and I would not be able to have a movie marathon without it. It made perfect sense to kick everything off with it, and when it came to choosing a partner movie for it, why not the movie with all the same people... Hot Fuzz?

Bank Heist Monday.













- Anybody who frequents this blog knows I like a good heist film, and these two just happen to be two of my favorites. It doesn't get any more classic than Dog Day Afternoon (and for fun, there's some Dog Day Afternoon references in Inside Man, which would be played afterward).

Foreign Film Tuesday.













- Relatively self-explanatory, I think. Let's give the people some culture, even if it can be disturbing. Pan's Labyrinth and Oldboy are two of the greatest foreign films to come in quite a while, and they're two of my favorites, as well.

Bang Bang Wednesday.













- Here we have two drastically different movies with somewhat similar titles. Bang Bang You're Dead is one of the most important and most powerful movies ever made (and should be shown in every high school across the nation). Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is just some fun comedy noir, and one of Robert Downey Jr.'s best movies this side of Iron Man.

Hitman Thursday.













- Again, Leon is one of my favorite movies (and I mean the director's cut, not the stupid American release dubbed The Professional). And it was Natalie Portman's first movie. So I decided to pair it up with another great hitman movie, and one of Tom Cruise's best performances, in my opinion, Collateral.

Romantic Fantasy Friday.













- I wanted to include The Princess Bride in this list because, well, it's one of the greatest movies ever. But I had trouble figuring out what to pair it with. I needed a movie that was similar in some way to it, so I had to think about what it was, exactly. It was a romance movie first and foremost, but it's also a fantasy movie. So then I had to think of other romantic fantasy movies, looked at my DVD collection, and saw Big Fish. It's definitely a romance with fantasy elements, and it's also a great movie (one of my favorite Burton films). They also both have an old man telling a younger person the story.

So there we are. That would be my 6-day marathon. I think it'd be super fun. Some runners-up included Equilibrium/The Matrix (awesome action), and the original partner with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was Who Framed Roger Rabbit until I realized I wanted to put in Bang Bang You're Dead (which I thought about partnering with American History X, but didn't want to part with any full day of choices I'd already picked).

Anyway, another part of this thing is that I have to tag at least 5 other people for this, so here we go...

1) Cinexcellence.
2) Rachel over at Rachel's Reel Reviews.
3) Kane over at Kano's Kogitation (even though he's not a total movie blog).
4) Daniel at Getafilm.
5) DJ over at Matte Havoc.

(And you guys don't have to do it if y'all don't want to).

That's it! So... who would go to my 6-day movie theater movie marathon thingy?

10 Years, 10 Great Screenplays.

Update: Yeah, I know, there's technically 11 years/11 screenplays. I wrote this near the beginning of my blogging career... it's a big rough, and there's been controversy around it. But... whatever.

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In light of the Writer’s Strike having just ended, I thought it might be a fun idea to write an article based around 10 really great movies within the last 10 years (1 movie per year) that were just incredibly smartly written. Whether it be dialogue, scenario, or just brilliance all around, something about each of these screenplays turned out 10 magnificent movies. Each of these descriptions isn’t overly long, and they say roughly the same thing. I just felt it was important to at least state some reasons why I thought these movies were chosen for their specific year. So let’s get started.

1997 – Chasing Amy.

Written by: Kevin Smith

Arguably one of Kevin Smith’s best movies (though maybe not his wittiest, which would go to Clerks), Chasing Amy is a story about a lesbian and the man in love with her. Whether you are straight, gay, or bi, you can’t deny that Chasing Amy has heart. And its script is really well done, at that. My personal favorite scene would be when Jason Lee is trying to explain to Ben Affleck why the relationship can’t work, using examples with Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Man-Hating Dyke. It’s just classic Smith dialogue.

1998 – The Big Lebowski.

Written by: Joel and Ethan Coen

Very quick, smart, and hilarious. It’s a movie full of memorable characters and scenarios. And when the main character is known as The Dude, you know you have a classic (in one form or another) on your hands. Fuck it, let’s go bowling.

1999 – Fight Club.

Written by: Jim Uhls (based on the book by Chuck Palahniuk)

This was the hardest year to choose from. Do you have any idea how many great movies came out in 1999? A large chunk of them, actually. It was almost like everybody was afraid the world was going to end with Y2K and decided to get all their best movies out all at once. From movies such as The Matrix, The Sixth Sense, and American Beauty, it was incredibly hard to pick just one. But I finally decided to stick with Fight Club. Yes, it’s based on a book, but it was just so smart and witty that it was hard not to choose it. There’s so many scenes in this movie that are memorable, dialogue-wise, it’s hard to even pick one thing. And to top that off, you even have that narration about the ‘I am Jack’s’ such-and-such. At the very least, it was intelligent adaptation.

2000 – Requiem for a Dream.

Written by: Hubert Selby Jr.

On the other hand, 2000 was the year of a lot of crap, with such gems as Battlefield Earth. It seems that in getting out all their best ideas in 1999, and upon realizing the world didn’t end come 2000, they realized “Well hell, we still have movies to make… um…” I’ll be honest, I haven’t completely watched this movie all the way through because I didn’t care for it while I was watching it. It’s possible that it was because I was watching it after midnight, but still… this was one of the only highly acclaimed movies of the year, so I chose it.

2001 – Memento.

Written by: Christopher Nolan (based on a short story by Jonathan Nolan)

(See what I did there?). And that scene where he’s running from somebody thinking he’s chasing somebody and realizes he’s being chased instead is classic. The idea behind this movie was brilliant in and of itself. This movie can’t get enough recognition. So what can I say about Memento?

2002 – Donnie Darko.

Written by: Richard Kelly

This movie is such a mind-freak (sans Chris Angel). It still boggles the minds of us years later. It’s twisted, dark, and smart. Time travel is tricky business, and this movie handles in a great way.

2003 – Adaptation.

Written by: Charlie and ‘Donald’ Kaufman (based… around?... a book by Susan Orlean)

After the first time I saw this movie, I couldn’t watch another movie without it messing with my brain. This is the movie about movies that will forever alter the way you see movies. Love or hate Nicolas Cage, this is one of his best flicks. Not to mention it was written by Charlie and Donald Kaufman about Charlie and Donald Kaufman… and Donald Kaufman doesn’t even exist. Seriously… a movie about adapting a book that cannot be adapted so he adapts his own life and merges it with the story of the book he can’t adapt… all of this being based on the true story of how Charlie Kaufman being unable to adapt a book that cannot be adapted so he adapts his… yeah, you get it. My brain hurts, too.

2004 – Shaun of the Dead.

Written by: Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg

This movie has one of my favorite scripts in existence. I continue my claim that this movie was one of the most brilliant things ever written. Everything in this movie is either said or done at least twice in two different circumstances. And everything that happens in the latter half of the movie is foreshadowed in the first half. It had to have taken ages to plan this movie out to the degree it was. I still catch stuff in this movie after countless times of seeing it. It’s a hoot.

2005 – Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.

Written by: Shane Black (based on a book by Brett Halliday)

Regardless of the entirely overcomplicated and confusing ending, this movie was insanely quick-witted and smart. The story is tight and the characters are vibrant. It’s funny and it’s just good all around.

2006 – Brick.

Written by: Rian Johnson

Originally, this year had gone to Stranger than Fiction. But then I realized that Brick came out the same year, and I already had one movie that was somewhat similar to Fiction in premise (Adaptation). So Brick it is. It has a great idea: Take a classic Noir Film with your basic 20s detective or whatnot… and set it in a present-day high school with the same type of dialogue and everything. You have to know what you’re in for before watching the movie or you’ll be utterly lost and confused, but once you get into it you realize how well and smartly written this movie really was.

2007 – Juno.

Written by: Diablo Cody

Possibly not the best film of 2007, but it was certainly one of the most original and funny. The characters are round (in the literature sense), the dialogue was fast and snappy, and everything about this movie screamed “love me, I’m brilliant.” You can’t help but love the character of Juno and her quick wit.

Aw... Why'd They Have To Die? (Top 10).

Warning: Spoilers from here on in! Continue at your own risk! If you’re spoiled, it’s your own fault!

You know when you’re watching a movie and then suddenly one of your favorite, if not your exact favorite, character(s) die? Yeah, it sucks. This here will be a Top 10 list of characters that upset me a lot when they died, wherein number 1 is the most upsetting. To note, this list will not include characters you know are dead or going to die from the beginning of the movie. As such, Alien 3 is not in this list, because Newt and Hicks died before anything else even happened (Well, Ripley dies at the end, too… but still. It’s Newt and Hicks!). Damn you, Seven and Fight Club director David Fincher!

Anyway, on to the list!

10. Ben – Night of the Living Dead (1968)

What can you say? There’s only one black guy in the whole movie, and he dies last! Take that, other token black characters of horror movie genre!

But seriously, Ben (Duane Jones) makes it through the entire movie as the only freakin survivor of the zombie invasion... on that house! He was the only guy that was the voice of reason in the house (everybody else was freakin out the entire time. I guess he’s used to this kinda shit down in da hood or something).

How he dies: He makes it to the next morning and hears the distant sound of help. He peeks out the window, only to be shot in the head by a bunch of drunken rednecks. Then he’s stabbed by a pitchfork and burned. Yeah, I know… racism allegory and all that.

9. Ed – Shaun of the Dead (2004)

To continue with the zombie theme of the previous movie on the list, I really didn’t see this one coming. Ed (Nick Frost) is the best friend of Shaun. He’s bumbling, foul-mouthed, and not too bright. He causes one or two issues here or there, but he was always good for a laugh.

How he dies: While trying to hold a few zed-words back for Shaun to shoot, one of them bites him. Then another one bites him. Then he just stays behind while Shaun and Liz leave and becomes a zed-word himself, to later be chained up in Shaun’s shed to play video games for the rest of his undead life.

8. Chas – Constantine (2005)

Chas Kramer (Shia LaBeouf) is Constantine’s driver, basically. He takes him around wherever he needs to go, even though Chas thinks he should be upgraded from driver to partner. Chas is funny and overall innocent in the scheme of things.

How he dies: He gets beaten to death by Gabriel (Tilda Swinton). Poor Chas.

7. Kevin – Hostage (2005)

Kevin (Marshall Allman) was the innocent brother of Dennis (Jonathan Tucker) who just got caught up unwillingly in this big hostage situation. He hates what’s going on. He freaks on his brother. He’s scared of Mars (Ben Foster), but really, who isn’t? When the helicopter scene shows, he has the chance to run and get out of there, but he doesn't. He really should have.

How he dies: Kevin attempts to get the hostages and get the heck out of there, but runs into Mars on the way. He tells Mars what he’s doing, and then turns his back on him (his mistake). Mars then proceeds to run up behind him and throw him over the second floor railing to slam onto the hard first floor.

6. Jack/Kyra – Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

In this sequel to Pitch Black, the character of Jack had not only been renamed to Kyra (Jack wasn’t her real name anyway), but was recast as Alexa Davalos albeit the original actress willing to take the part.

Anyway, Kyra is now this badass girl, having been arrested and learned everything that her hero Riddick learned. The only thing she discovers is that she couldn’t get the shine-job on her eyes like he did. So when Riddick shows up at her prison to save her, she’s less than happy to see him. But they get out of there and fight and work together and all that jazz. But then Kyra is kidnapped by the bad guys.

How she dies: After snapping out of her brainwashing, Kyra tries to protect Riddick, but is flung back against a spiky pillar, getting one of the spikes right through her chest. Granted, there was supposed to be another couple of movies in which Riddick goes to search for a way to bring her back to life… but it doesn’t look like that’s happening.

5. CJ – Dawn of the Dead (2004)

This guy probably has the most character development of any of the characters on this list, which is why he’s on it. Oh, and I swear this is the last zombie movie on the list.

CJ (Michael Kelly) starts the movie as a major a-hole, but as it goes on, his character is still an a-hole, but he’s become a lot more likeable than he was before. He’s helping the good guys now instead of being a jerk and yelling the whole time.

How he dies: While the others are running from all the zombies and trying to get to a boat and go out to sea, CJ stays behind in the bus and blows up himself and some zombies with a flare and some propane to help the others get away. Aw, how nice.

4. Frank – 28 Days Later… (2002)

This is NOT a zombie movie. Anyway, Frank (Brendan Gleeson) is introduced a little less than halfway in as the loveable ex-cop (or something) and father of Hannah. He’s a joy to watch on screen, although sometimes a bit too protective. You really like his character almost right from the time you meet him and hate to see him go.

How he dies: He’s pissed off that the radio signal that the military sent out was seemingly a lie, so he’s storming about this dump site. He starts yelling at a bird that won’t shut up and, looking up, a drop of infected blood falls into his eye. Frank gets infected and a heart-wrenching scene where he quickly tries to tell Hannah how much he loves her before telling her to get away ensues. Then the military that he was looking for shows up and shoots him down. Ironic.

3. Wash – Serenity (2005)

This was incredibly unexpected. This was also one of the first times I actually let out an audible gasp in a theater. The rest of the theater, along with me, began going “nooo!”

Wash (Alan Tudyk) was the pilot of the Serenity. There really isn’t much more to say than that. He was really funny and just a really likeable character (Come on, it’s Alan Tudyk. What isn’t likeable?).

How he dies: He flies everybody safely through an outer space war zone between the Alliance and the Reavers. He crash lands quite safely on the planet. “I am a leaf on the wind.” And then half a second later gets a giant sharp, pointy thing through his body.

2. Zack – Alpha Dog (2006)

I know this was based on a true story and all, but I had never heard of it, so I didn’t know what happened. That being said, I was completely and utterly shocked when they actually kill the kid.

Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) has Zack (Anton Yelchin) kidnapped after his brother (Ben Foster) fails to pay up on this drug deal (or something like that). And no matter how many times Frankie (Justin Timberlake) tries to get Zack to go home, he won’t do it (Zack liked it where he was). He’s a great kid and way too innocent for what happened to him.

How he dies: In the end, Johnny orders Zack’s death, so he’s taken up to some cliff, taped up, and shot down. There was absolutely no reason for him to be killed. That was messed up.

1. Leaven – Cube (1997)

No other movie’s ending has upset me as much as this one. It’s a great ending, don’t get me wrong, but I just totally did not see it coming.

Leaven (Nicole de Boer) is just this randomly innocent math student who wakes up in a trap-infested cube o’ death with a bunch of other people. Most of the other people are jerks or something of the sort. But Leaven figures out just about everything. She figures out how to get through the cube without going through the trap rooms. Hell, she was even right when she told the group they never should have left the first room they all met up in. She’s one smart cookie.

How she dies: Leaven, Worth (David Hewlett), and Kazan (Andrew Miller) make it to the bridge room that would let them get the hell out. They are on the run, as well, from the psychotic Quentin (Maurice Dean Wint). They open the doorway and are blinded by this great white light that is their escape to freedom. So what happens? Worth SITS DOWN, too exhausted and depressed to go on. He has nothing to look forward to back in his real life. Leaven tries to talk him into getting up and going, as the exit is right there. While she’s doing so, Quentin finds them and stabs her from behind with one of the door handles, lifting her up into the air with it, and dropping her to the ground. I was so mad.

Anyway, that’s it. I have a couple Runners-Up as well that didn’t exactly make the list:

-Doyle (Jeremy Renner) from 28 Weeks Later… (He’s burned to a crisp after saving the others).

-McCord (Steve Buscemi) from The Island… (He’s shot down after saving the others).

Oh, and one last random note: Snape kills Dumbledore in the next HP movie. I warned you!