V.G. Movies #17: Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]


THE HISTORY

Last time, we talked just a little about the origins of Lara Croft and the games. However, I stopped discussing the games at the sixth, wherein I mentioned how it bombed and brought in a new production company with a note I'd continue that story later. It's now "later."

As I stated before, Lara Croft the character was actually killed off in the fourth installment. The fifth game was mainly done in flashback. But then game into production a sixth game entitled Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness that was to revive the character and begin a brand new trilogy of games. This didn't happen, however. Why? Core Design, the production company behind the game series, wanted to put the game out early in correspondence with the second feature film. But it wasn't a finished game; it wasn't ready to be released. It was still full of bugs, but they wanted to rush it to onto the shelves just a month or so prior to the release of the new film.

The game, of course, was met with negative reviews and shone a poor light on the franchise. A senior executive of the production company, who also acted as an executive producer on the film, actually resigned days after the game was released. And all of this negative attention is at least used partially to blame for the failure of the film. Is the movie actually bad, or did it just receive negative attention because it was a bad year for the franchise? I have a sinking suspicion it's the former... (but let's find out!)...


THE FILM

I remember seeing this in theater... and I don't remember a damn thing about it. But it does have Gerard Butler, and it's not called 300... so I know the quality is already peaking at mediocre before even getting into it. Oh joy. This time we follow Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) as she gets caught up in a scheme to stop a man named Jonathan Reiss (Ciaran Hinds) from finding Pandora's Box and releasing a deadly plague upon the world. To help her, she calls upon an old cohort named Terry (Gerard Butler). Together, they travel the globe trying to stop Reiss and get to the box first.

It's amazing how this movie took all the action, characterization, and CGI and made it all infinitely better. Oh wait, you mean this isn't opposite day? In that case... what the hell, man? Let's start with the action. I read a snippet of a review that said the first movie was "dumb fun" but this one was "just dumb." I can see where they're coming from that. Sure the first movie had some rough CGI monsters here and there, but on the whole, at least the action was entertaining and at least somewhat plausible in design. Here you have a scene where Croft cuts her arm to summon a horribly CGI'd shark, punches it in the face to show it who's boss, then grabs its fin so that it can swim her up to the surface before she drowns, allowing it to swim away without coming after her again. And that's in the first 15 minutes. The movie is just silly. Whereas the first movie had cool scenes like the bungie ballet fight, this one has... base jumping... and jumping a motorcycle off the Great Wall of China. And did I mention punching a shark in the face so it'll give you a ride to the surface?

While on the subject, the CGI didn't get any better. Hell, I could make an argument it actually got worse. At least the first film used it sparingly. I mean, the shark... the acid goo pool at the end (and the burning body)... the monsters around the third act... etc. I could forgive it if the action was good enough to take my mind off it, but as I said... it wasn't. And I could take my mind off the poor action if I give a crap about the characters. But I don't. Yet again, the best character is Croft's underused butler, who has even less to do in this film, sadly. I couldn't care less about anyone else.

To be fair, it's not terrible. Its worst crime is that it's just so... boring. It's no wonder I couldn't remember anything about it from when I first saw it. I just finished watching it a few minutes ago and I already forgot almost the entire movie. It isn't fun or clever. It just... exists. And as I've said before, that's pretty much the worst crime a movie can make. Either make it good or bad. Dull is just... unforgivable.

Feed Me, Seymour!

MonthWatch - April 2012.

[I'm going to keep a monthly tally of the movies I've both watched for the first time and as re-watches. I think it'll be interesting to see what all I've watched at the end of the year and how many. That being said, let's do it. Here's the next month.]

APRIL 

THEATRICAL (1)
The Cabin in the Woods - Brilliant!


RE-WATCH (16)
Shaun of the Dead - One of my all-time faves.
Hot Fuzz - Felt like following up with this the next night.
The Gamers: Dorkness Rising - Brilliant unknown, low-budget comedy.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - For V.G. Movie Article. It's alright.
Big Trouble in Little China - Thank you, Nolahn! Man, this movie is awesome.
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon - For DemPod. Amazingly fun.
Scream - For DemPod. Still good.
Ghostbusters - On Netflix Instant... couldn't pass it up.
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within - For V.G. Movie Article. Could've been better.
Scream 2 - Felt like following up Scream a week or so later. Not as good, but decent.
Resident Evil - For V.G. Movie Article. Kind of underrated in the V.G. Movie 'genre'.
Taken - I have skills, too, ya know...
Cloverfield - For DemPod. Still good. Love TJ Miller.
The Host - For DemPod. Doesn't necessarily hold up, but still good.
House of the Dead - For V.G. Movie Article. Gotta love Uwe Boll, right?
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol - Awesome stuff!


FIRST TIME (21)
Arahan - Fantastic S. Korean action comedy. Funny and a lot of fun with some outstanding action sequences.
Spanish Judges - Great psychological crime thriller. Quite unpredictable with a great Matthew Lillard performance.
City Lights - For 50/50 I love Chaplin more and more.
We Bought A Zoo - For MILF. Not too shabby.
Carnage - I guess I'm a Polanski fan.
War Horse - Sunsets: The Movie! Decent final hour... otherwise, not that great.
His Girl Friday - For 50/50. Crazy dialogue! Pretty good movie.
The Darkest Hour - For MILF. SO much wasted potential...
The Skin I Live In - Slow to start, then OMG WTF. Gonna see this again. Soon.
The Chaser - Good S. Korean thriller.
Four Rooms - What a wacky little flick.
No Mercy - Another good S. Korean thriller with a unique story... but could have done a little more.
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance - For 50/50. Gotta love its leads, even if you don't like westerns.
The Divide - For MILF. Again, so much wasted potential.
House of the Devil - Wanted to see Ti West's claim to fame before Innkeepers. Boring 70 minutes, but INSANE third act.
Almost Love - Decent S. Korean RomCom with a third act that gets really dark and unexpected. Could have been better on the whole, though.
The Innkeepers - For MILF. Great chemistry from the leads, but I wanted a bit more.
Le Samourai - Great lead character in an interesting flick.
War of the Arrows - Acclaimed S. Korean war epic... that could have been much better (good third act, though).
Severance - Interesting British horror/comedy. Could have been a wee bit better, but still fun.
11-11-11 - Oh my God... so... boring... Darren Lynn Bousman might not be the BEST director in the world, but he's certainly better than this.


CURRENT COUNT

Theatrical - 4
Re-Watch - 75
First Time - 84
TOTAL -163

50/50 Review #16: Re-Animator.

I think I'd seen bits and pieces of this before, because some of it seemed distantly familiar. Based on the story by H.P. Lovecraft, Re-Animator tells the story of Dan (Bruce Abbott), a medical student currently engaged to the dean's daughter, Megan (Barbara Crampton). But when he starts to room with a transfer student, Herbert West (Jeffrey Combs), weird things start happening. He soon discovers Herbert is experimenting with a serum that allows dead tissue to come back to life. Of course they start small with animals, but soon turn to people... and that's when things get really out of hand.

This film has a slow start and is kind of dull in places, but when it starts going... it really starts going. Man is this movie crazy weird (and fun).  The third act in particular is nuts. Starting with a headless body feeling up a naked woman (and then a decapitated head licking said woman's body)... it just gets weird--and not necessarily in a bad way. The movie isn't light on its blood and gore, either.

There are other elements, however, that make this not much different from the films we make fun of (in a Troll 2 sense). A particular scene where a character turns on a flashlight and looks around a room with its light on comes to mind. Other character actions are illogical, too (like the dean's insane reaction to Dan's statement about the reanimation serum existing). Granted, they aren't as widespread as the aforementioned best worst movie, but they pop up here and there. Again, not to say that's a bad thing. Just an element I wasn't exactly expecting. Makes for a wacky time. It doesn't help that Bruce Abbott kinda looks like the dude who plays the dad in Troll 2, but scrawnier.

Speaking of the actors, I have to appreciate Jeffrey Combs. I used to be a big fan of the show The 4400... in which he played a crazy doctor with a controversial serum. I know, big stretch (if I ever make a mad scientist movie, I'd so cast this dude). But he plays the character of Herbert West here with a restrained glee. He so straight-faced the entire time, but you can still tell he's having fun with it in his line delivery. And David Gale as Dr. Carl Hill was especially creepy and fun.

The only other thing to mention is the makeup, which is pretty dang good. And I liked the different techniques they used to hide a particular actor's body when he had to act as a decapitated head. There's the Alien/Ash technique where they just had it on a table and hid the opening underneath. But then there were particularly clever moments where they held the head in front of a bulky body, so that the actor could just be on the other side of the body poking his head through. Smart, practical stuff. Today they'd just use CGI or something. This way gives it some charm.

On the whole, I'd say the bits of wacky comedy and the insanity of the second half of the movie (particularly the third act) are what make this movie worth it. I wasn't so sure coming into this, as I felt the first half was kind of slow and dull. And while it doesn't reach Dead Alive levels of crazy awesome (a film I can easily compare this to), it does get rather insane and bloody in its own right. So if you're a fan of this type of flick and haven't seen this yet, I'd say give it a shot. It's fun.


I Am McLovin!

(P.S. What's with the Psycho remix theme? I started the movie and was like "...this sounds insanely familiar." Did some research afterward that led me to realizing it was totally Psycho.) 


(P.P.S. Anybody else pick up on the fact that the doctor Herbert West is studying under at the beginning of the movie is named Hans Gruber?)

V.G. Movies #16: House of the Dead.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]


THE HISTORY

This one has a pretty basic history. Sega released it in 1997 in arcades as a "light gun" game--you know, where you actually shoot at the screen to kill things. (In a PC port, you just used a mouse, of course.) The player takes over the role of either agent Thomas Rogan or agent "G" as they are sent on assignment on December 18, 1998. There were disappearances at the home of Dr. Roy Curien, a biochemist/geneticist. While there, they have to fight a bunch of zombies and monsters, such as mutant bats, spider-like creatures, and a demon-like warrior who can wield fire. There's also the character of Sophie who is agent Rogan's fiance. Depending on how you play, she will either survive or become an undead being at the end of the game.

And that's about all there is to it. It's not that complicated, either in execution or story. It's one of those games that would be almost impossible to screw up. But of course, we hadn't been introduced to the master of that ability yet.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the film that introduced the world to the "genius" that is Uwe Boll.


THE FILM

I actually saw this bad boy in theater back in high school. The film follows a bunch of young adults who want to go to a rave on an island. They miss their boat and end up chartering a fishing boat helmed by a man named Captain Kirk (Jurgen Prochnow) and his first mate, Salish (Clint Howard). Unfortunately for them, they also have a cop named Casper (Ellie Cornell) on their trail, as she wants to check the ship for drugs and weapons. Of course, they get to the island and all hell breaks loose as they soon discover the island is over-run by zombies.

There are different camps of people on how much this flick sucks, especially in comparison to other b-movies. There are those who say it's so bad it's good. Others who say it's so bad... it's just bad and boring. To me, it's the former. This movie is hilariously awful. And there are plenty of reasons why. The zombis, for one, look incredibly stupid, and they don't really function as zombies. These zombies can even swim (and visibly hold their breath as they do so). The action scenes are terrible, including bad slow motion, as well as the camera spinning around almost every single time a zombie is attacked at one point. Don't forget they never run out of ammo, either! And let's not forget the most famous thing in this film: the game footage. That's right, Uwe Boll actually randomly spliced in footage from the games for no reason and in completely random spots. I mean, the majority of the time, it's not even during action scenes... just... whenever he felt like it.

The script and characters are just painful, as well. The dialogue is mostly dull and cliched with the exception of almost anything said by the Captain or Clint Howard's characters. There's the nonsensical decisions of the characters, as well. Who would pay a thousand bucks to a shady fisherman just to go to a rave on an island after they missed their boat? And then pay him additional money to run from some cops just to get to the rave? On top of that, they're doing all of this after they find out the island is called "Island of Death" and that nobody should go near the place. On top of that, there is almost nothing to do with any of the games in this film. This is apparently a prequel to the games, but still... you should have some ties, right?

I know this is a short review, but what is there really to say? Uwe Boll is considered the modern day Ed Wood, and this is where he got his start. And considering you can only learn and get better from experience (which, believe it or not, he actually does), this is still at the start of his career and is totally bad. Bad story, bad acting, bad writing, bad makeup, bad editing, bad directing... bad everything. There's even some stuff I didn't even bother to mention. I do admit that the last few seconds give a cool twist if you know the game story, as that's where the prequel bits come into play. Otherwise... that's about it. If you're interested in Boll, might as well start here. It might be beyond bad, but it's surely entertaining.


A Hot Mess

50/50 Review #15: Le Samourai.

Le Samourai is like what would happen if you mixed Drive with Ghost Dog. Jef Costello (Alain Delon) is a quiet, precise hitman who apparently follows a samurai code of life. Unfortunately, one day a hit on a club owner goes a little wrong, and there are some witnesses. Jef is picked up by the police, but due to a rather solid alibi that he set up prior to the hit and most of the witnesses claiming--for some reason--that he's not the man they saw, they're forced to let him go. But a stubborn police officer refuses to believe he's innocent, and he constantly has to keep on his guard so not to make any wrong moves.

I was pleasantly surprised with this film. Of course, the Ghost Dog connections are insane (frenchmen, a quiet hitman who acts like a samurai and takes care of birds, and gangsters who hire and then turn on him? Don't forget special keys to help steal cars). But that's pretty much where the comparisons end, fortunately. They're all pretty superficial. The actual story and characters are much different. This film is much more of a mystery/thriller in that you're questioning why the gangsters want him dead and then how he's going to stay safe from the police. The story kept me pretty invested throughout, and the pacing and flow works well.

The character of Jef is also really interesting and entertaining. He's, again, similar to the Driver in Drive in that he's quiet, calm, and collected, but he can kick your ass and/or kill you without a second's hesitation. And he does have a specific style about him, too. He's fun to watch, because you're never quite sure what he's going to do next, and I was constantly trying to figure out what was going on in his head. The suspense was great, even if there was never a sense of any physical danger.

But I don't have much else to say outside that. Jef Costello is a fantastically cool character. I don't think there's a lot of depth to the film, but like with Drive, I'm not sure there has to be. The character and the style are enough to carry the film. Though it does have kind of a shocker ending that I didn't exactly see coming. If you're a fan of noir, or cool antiheroes, check it out. It might be a quiet little film (hell, no dialogue is actually spoken for the first 10 minutes), and it certainly isn't perfect, but it certainly kept me engaged.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. That'll about wrap it up for Dan Heaton's Month! It was certainly a classic kinda month. And despite some movies being out of my typical wheelhouse, I still enjoyed myself for one reason or another... comedy, dialogue, characters. But now it's time to do something pretty much the exact opposite. Next week... I'm starting Jason's Month. Need I say more?)

V.G. Movies #15: Resident Evil.

[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]

THE HISTORY

One of the first of its genre, Resident Evil basically founded the "survival horror" genre of gaming. Debuting on the Playstation in 1996, RE was a total success. The game was originally called Bio Hazard in Japan, but due to some copyright issues, the name was changed in America. Capcom (the game company) held a contest with its employees to come up with a new title, and Resident Evil was born ("Resident" due to the fact the game took place in a mansion... get it?).

The basic idea of the original game is pretty simple. Raccoon City has been facing some strange issues lately, particularly with murder and cannibalism. So the police force sends their Special Tactics And Rescue Service (S.T.A.R.S.) team to investigate. But when the first "bravo" team disappears, the Alpha team is sent in to investigate. After a vicious dog attack, the team is forced to take refuge within a nearby abandoned mansion. The remaining Alpha team consists of Barry, Chris, Jill, and Wesker (three of which are major and popular characters for the remainder of the series). You quickly discover that all sorts of creatures and monsters (including zombies) are all over the place, thanks to some biochemical testing funded by the Umbrella Corporation--with a chemical known as the T-Virus. You also discover medical labs underground, a monster called the Tyrant, and that Wesker is a double agent for Umbrella (and he becomes one of the primary villains of the series, no matter how many times he's killed).

Eventually some sequels came out, introducing the world to other popular characters and storylines--but I'll get to some of those later. As for now, all you need to know is that the games were popular enough to warrant a film adaptation. And who had his name attached to it? None other than the director of Mortal Kombat, the only real moderately successful video game adaptation thus far. Yeah, it's Paul W.S. Anderson.

But what happens when you remove every character from the games and only keep in the idea of a mansion, zombies, a few key monsters, and, of course, the Umbrella Corporation? A movie that doesn't resemble the games whatsoever--yet managed to spawn one of the most successful video game movie franchises of all time (the only one, thus far, where each film has made more money than its predecessor). But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, let's take a look and see how well (if at all) this first film works.

THE FILM

This is a film that splits people, especially fans of the game. I never really got into the games, but I can appreciate its story and characters. And really, when adaptations take nothing but a title and a few namesakes from the source material, I can agree that it's bothersome. But is Resident Evil an exception to that rule? After a computer system called the Red Queen (Michaela Dicker) kills everyone inside the Umbrella Corporation's underground "Hive," a special military unit owned by Umbrella is sent in to see what went wrong. This team includes One (Colin Salmon), Rain (Michelle Rodriguez), Kaplan (Martin Krewes), and a few others. They also happen to run into Alice (Milla Jovovich), a young woman with amnesia who woke up in the mansion that resides over the Hive. They also find a couple men--Matt (Eric Mabius), who claims he's a cop, and Spence (James Purefoy), who seems to have a connection to Alice. And, of course, they eventually discover that the T-Virus had been released within the compound and now there are a bunch of zombies and a monster roaming about.

Despite having practically zero connection to the games, I'd say this is still a fairly decent flick. The majority of the movie, particularly the first 30-40 or so minutes, has a lot of great atmosphere. It sets up a creepy, mysterious vibe that raises the tension slowly, building to the big moment where the zombies finally show up. There are also a number of memorable moments in this portion of the film, including the laser room. Everything is set up nicely with a good mystery, decent characters, and a nice overall vibe.

The next portion of the movie isn't all that bad, either. This would be the non-stop action part of the film. You have zombies (of both human and dog variety), guns blazing, blood dripping, music blaring, and hearts pounding. It has some good suspense and decent thrills, even if moments such as the mid-air dog kick set up Alice to evolve into a character who would nearly ruin the film series. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Where I feel the film stumbles is in its third act. You discover the twist to the story... what really happened behind the scenes and how a number of the characters are connected. Some motives are a bit shaky, and some of it feels a bit contrived. Then you have the "big bad" of this film--the Licker. The CGI for this creature leaves you a bit wanting, and it feels maybe only a sole generation better than the CGI Reptile in Mortal Kombat. Fortunately, you don't have to see it for very long. The acting gets a little wonky here, as well. And up until this point, the film could have easily played as a prequel to the original game. But then the scientists come in and you have the double ending that sets up two things in the inevitable sequel. You have Matt (spoilers!) becoming Nemesis, and then you have Alice waking up in the abandoned Raccoon City cocking her gun (very Super Mario Bros.-esque). Despite the cool factor, it's at this point you realize that any sequels are not going to be straight adaptation of the games.

On the whole, it's really not that bad of a flick. In the world of video game adaptations, I'd actually say it's kind of underrated, bogged down by what its sequels became (similar to, say, the Saw series--though at least that series managed to have a functional continuity and didn't have to retcon itself all the time). But again, I'm getting off topic. Its soundtrack, produced in part by Marilyn Manson, is very fitting and well done. If you want to see your favorite characters in these films, watch the sequels (...if you must), but this one works as an original story based in the same world as the games. Could it have been better? Definitely. But for what it is, it's fine.


I Am McLovin!

The Vlog: Season 4 "Demented" Commentary.

About a month ago, I got the idea to do a commentary with the cast of Season 4 of The Vlog. Some accepted the offer; others declined; and at least one just couldn't be there due to timing issues. But one Friday evening, I got together with Dylan, Kai, Jason, Sebastian, and Steve to record the Vlog's first-ever commentary track. We had a lot of fun doing this, and now... it's finally available to watch and/or listen to!

I had to cut out a few things for time (and sanity) sake, but there's a lot of interesting stuff here! Behind-the-scenes stories, some 'making of' explanations, our favorite moments, a lot of jokes, and more! Note: I've split it up into 5 parts for your convenience.

Warning... There's a lot of hilarious awesomeness here! Enjoy.


PART 1
Introductions and Episodes 1 and 2.




PART 2
Episodes 3, 4, and 5. (Note... episode 4 has some audio issues due to technical difficulties, but it's still listenable and only lasts a short time.)




PART 3
Episodes 6 and 7.




PART 4
Episodes 8, 9, and 10.





PART 5
Episodes 11 and 12.

The Demented Podcast #38 - Steve Effs Off.

Moving into our first of two guys in this "all female" season, Jason Soto of Invasion of the B-Movies joins us once again. This time, we're talking meta-horror films Scream and Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. (Warning: Both discussions are heavy on spoilers... and while we assume most of you have seen Scream by this point, Leslie Vernon is a more unknown flick. If you don't want to be spoiled, we can tell you this: It's an incredibly positive reaction from all three of us.) After the film discussions, we move on into the Tower. Jason has a new strategy... but will it work? Listen to find out!

Due to Podomatic bandwidth issues, I will no longer be placing the podcast player on the site. But you can easily listen and subscribe through iTunes!


Current Leaderboard
1) Rachel - 169 Points
2) Stevee - 108 Points
3) Jandy - 107 Points
4) Nikhat - 96 Points
5) Lindsay - 91 Points
6) Joanna - 83 Points
7) Jessica - FAIL

Current/Previous Battle Royale Champions

(BR3) Dan Heaton - 176 Points
(BR2) Dylan Fields - 114 Points
(BR1) Rachel Thuro - 171 Points

That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping  me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.

50/50 Review #14: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.

Despite the fact I live in Texas, I'm not a big fan of westerns. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy one every now and then, but in general, they aren't my cup of tea. So when I saw I had a western on this list, I was slightly wary. The story follows a lawyer and/or senator named Ransom Stoddard (Jimmy Stewart) who comes back to the town of Shinbone for the funeral of an old friend, Tom Doniphon (John Wayne). The rest of the film is told in flashback as Ransom relays his story of how he came to shoot the evil outlaw, Liberty Valance (Lee Marvin). He also gains the affection of a woman named Hallie (Vera Miles), who Doniphon also has the sweets for.

While I'm not a fan of westerns, I am a fan of Jimmy Stewart. I've basically enjoyed everything I've ever seen him in; even if I don't like the movie itself, I've always liked him in it. This is no exception... except I kinda enjoyed the movie this time, too. I have seen a number of Stewart's films; however, this would be my first John Wayne film (I know... gasp!). And he gave me pretty much everything I expected. He had a strong presence, a fun way of talking, and said "pilgrim" about a hundred times. And that was good enough for me. So the two of them were the strongest part of the film for me. The relationship between the two of them was great.

There were only two real downsides to me, though. The first being something rather major--Liberty Valance wasn't a menacing villain. Lee Marvin wasn't bad, per se, but the character was supposed to be this outlaw of epic and diabolical proportions. I expected him to show me why he struck fear into the hearts of all these people. Instead, he was more pathetic to me. He was only kind of scary when he had that whip thing, but he only used that maybe twice in the whole film. And when the title itself centers around his eventual death, I wanted him a little more terrifying. Not to mention the implications of having one of his no-name henchman be Lee Van Cleef, the freakin' BAD in Good/Bad/Ugly (OK, I know this came out before that, but still)! Because of all this, the big David and Goliath showdown didn't feel as hefty and suspenseful as it could have been. The second downside involved a couple of the subplots. First, there's a subplot where Stoddard teaches people to read that goes absolutely nowhere. Second, the political subplot that goes throughout the film and then takes up most of the third act is just... dull. I really didn't care at all about any of that.

Otherwise, the drama and the comedy was good (haven't really touched on the comedy, but there are some pretty funny moments in the film). Tom Doniphon was a really good character with a lot of internal conflict, particularly pertaining to the kind of "love triangle" with Hallie. So I did really like John Wayne, and I still really liked Jimmy Stewart. The turmoil he faces due to the truth of his story is well written and performed. If you're a fan of westerns, I can't imagine that, well, you haven't already seen this. But if you haven't, I have no doubt you'd enjoy it. If you're not a fan of westerns, I say it's worth watching for the two leads and their character archs alone.


I Am McLovin!

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS.

Very few expected this to be any good. How many modern horror movies are? Even as you first watch the trailer, it's just another silly teens-in-the-woods horror type. Then the second half of the trailer started... and there was something a little more to it. People became intrigued, myself included. And then the reviews started coming in, calling it one of the best horror films of the last few years, etc., and how you should go in as blind as possible. It soon became a must-see, and I went as soon as I possibly could have. But did it live up to the hype?

The Cabin in the Woods is about five friends--the 'virgin', Dana (Kristen Connelly); the slutty girl, Jules (Anna Hutchison); her buff boyfriend, Curt (Chris Hemsworth); his nice friend, Holden (Jesse Williams); and their stoner friend, Marty (Fran Kranz)--go to a remote cabin that Curt's cousin recently bought. But something dangerous is going on behind the scenes with two men, Satterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford), working for somebody that has seemingly a little too much power...

And that's all I'm gonna say. I agree with the others: go into this one as blind as possible, if you haven't already seen it at this point. To call this original is underselling it, I think. The story is intensely unique, and not since Scream has a movie taken its predecessors in the genre and lovingly kicked them in the balls. It takes everything you know of the genre and turns it on its head, playing with tropes and ideas. It's a smart film, a level of subtle meta that makes it more like an Easter Egg hunt of awesomeness than a "oh look how clever we are." But it's still pretty damn clever.

The characters are a big part of this, taking what are basically the dumb teens in every horror film and making you root for them, making you hate when any of them die. They are well written, thanks in part to Joss Whedon and his fantastic ear for dialogue, as well as his character building. I mean, nothing is overly complex about these characters. You're given enough to care, but not too much to the point where it feels forced. Let's not forget the "management" characters, who are also a hoot. There's a darkness to their actions, but it's almost always a light mood, with just that hint of desperateness.

This movie goes places you can't even begin to imagine, and the third act is just balls-to-the-wall insanity. (If excessive blood bugs you... you might want to steer clear.) The only downside is some CGI use, but it's only quick glimpses usually, and only for... things... that need it. Otherwise, it's practical all the way.

The movie is scary, intense, and really funny. It's an edge-of-your-seat kinda flick, and you never know when something is going to happen. The build-up is crazy, with scenes that have you cringing and twisting in your seat because you're expecting something, but most of the time it's just... playing with preconceived notions again. It's smart, clever, and amazingly original. If you're a fan of horror films, The Cabin in the Woods should be at the top of your list.


Royale With Cheese