CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE.

I don't even know where to start. This isn't going to be the usual review, I'll tell you that. I don't have that much to say about it. Hell, I'm not even sure if I liked it or not. It's one of those.

I'll just say this: If you liked Crank, you'll probably like Crank: High Voltage. If you didn't like Crank, stay far... far away from this. It's like the first, but far more over the top, far crazier, and far weirder. There's more blood; there were even some scenes where I cringed. There's (a lot) more boobs, too, including Amy Smart's (though her nipples are taped over, and everything else is--I kid you not--blurred out). And although I don't think there's the same sense of urgency and adrenaline the first movie had (at least to me), it was still intense.

It's funny, too... and usually inappropriately so. This is a movie out to not just break all the rules, but shatter them into tiny pieces and then nuke those pieces--twice. It reminded me of Feast 3, except more insane, and I don't think I hated this one. They really took the whole idea of psychedelic video game and exploded it.

The only thing I outright hated was the ending, but for two reasons. First, this old man, literally about 2 minutes before the credits start to roll, and right in the peak of the climax, gets his things and goes to leave. But then he stands in the middle of the freakin' theater and just watches from there, being awfully distracting. So I missed the vital 30 seconds or so where Chev gets to the big baddie. I got the main idea of the scene, but still. However, I still saw the following bit in its full, and I didn't like it at all. Let's just say the flames couldn't have looked more ridiculously fake, and the whole scene, I felt, was a really crappy ending. Though I liked the stuff during the credits. That made up for it a bit.

All in all, there's really only one way I can sum up this movie. In the words of Chev Chelios...

Cheese... and... Broccoli.


WTF