FAST FIVE.

I've been following the Fast and the Furious series since the first one in theater. While the sequels have been more subpar, the action has always been a lot of fun. So there was little expectation that the fifth in the series would be any better. Funnily enough, this newest installment is actually probably the best in the whole series.

Picking up right after the end of the fourth installment, but before Tokyo Drift, Fast Five has Brian (Paul Walker) and Mia (Jordana Brewster) busting Dom (Vin Diesel) out of his prisoner transit bus. They end up in Rio and old friend Vince (Matt Schulze) talks them into doing a job for a bit of cash. Unfortunately, this puts them in a bad position with a criminal kingpin who runs Rio by the name of Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). They know they need to quit the business and drop from the radar, but they need one last job to pull it off: stealing 100 million dollars from Reyes, which in and of itself is a near impossible task. And to top it all off, they have who is essentially a Black Ops guy named Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and a local cop, Elena (Elsa Pataky), after them to bring them in after they're accused of killing government agents. To help pull off the job, they bring in some old friends: Roman (Tyrese Gibson), Tej (Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges), Han (Sung Kang), Gisele (Gal Gadot), Leo (Tego Calderon), and Santos (Don Omar).

The best way to describe the film is like The Fast and the Furious meets Ocean's 11. This is an over-the-top heist film through and through, with a bit of the added car flavor that the F&F films have always delivered. Of course you need previous knowledge of the films to have any idea who these people are and how they're connected (Hell, I've seen all the films and even I couldn't remember a few of them). Though there are some where the previous relationships aren't important--such as the characters I couldn't remember (Gisele, Leo, and Santos; for the record, Gisele and Leo are in the 4th film, which I only saw once, and Santos is actually a new character, which would explain me not remembering him). But if you haven't seen the previous films, there's a lot that's going to go over your head.

Anyway, the action is fantastic. Of course it is completely over-the-top and unrealistic, but they at least attempt to do it in as realistic a way as possible--an issue I had with the 4th film where there was some CGI because it was so unrealistic. In fact, the only issue I had in the movie with the action was the only issue I knew I'd have based on the trailer. When the car flies off the cliff and Brian and Dom jump from it as it falls toward the water--there's no way you can survive that fall, at least not completely unscathed. Otherwise, everything was fine. By the time we reached the end of the film, I had completely shut my brain off and wasn't bothered by the fact that 1 or 2 cars were able to pull a 10-ton safe (or something like that). And the big fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock? How awesome was that!

The heist aspect is a lot of fun. Just like the Ocean's films, we're given an ensemble where each person has their own job to do. Granted, by the time we reach the actual heist, some things have been rendered completely moot, but everybody still essentially has a job to do. Leo and Santos give us a lot of good comedy, though they aren't the only ones. Still, the film does have a bit of a tonal shift once the team joins in about halfway through. The first hour or so is a bit serious and gritty; however, once they get the heist idea and bring in the team, things become a bit lighter and more fun.

Currently, I only own the first film of the series. The second is OK, but it's the only on that doesn't include Vin Diesel (if you count the Tokyo Drift cameo), so it loses a bit due to that. Tokyo Drift isn't awful, but it's not much better than eh. I was pretty hyped right after seeing Fast & Furious, but after I let it sink in and thought about it more, the more I realized I didn't care for it all that much. It had a lot of action and I was hyped from seeing the original cast return, but outside that, it was pretty rough around the edges. So I allowed Fast Five to sink in for a couple days before writing the review... and I still maintain that it is one of--if not the--best of the series.


Royale With Cheese

(P.S. Yes, I really dug it that much. It's the heist factor--what can I say? It's not perfect, but it's a ton of fun. Anyway, stay tuned after the credits begin. There's an extra scene about halfway in that gives you quite a cool twist for those who have been following the series.)

Short Review: Southland Tales.

Premise: Who the hell knows?

Starring: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake, (that guy) Curtis Armstrong, Nora Dunn, (that gal) Beth Grant, Christopher Lambert, John Larroquette, Bai Ling, Jon Lovitz, Mandy Moore, Cheri Oteri, Amy Poehler, Miranda Richardson, Wallace Shawn, Zelda Rubinstein, Kevin Smith, Eli Roth, Janeane Garofalo... who the hell isn't in this damn movie?

My Reaction: I don't think I've ever seen a movie that I've felt is simultaneously crap and genius... until now. The story is convoluted and hardly makes a lick of sense. The acting is (purposefully?) cheesy and horrible. Every 5 seconds you see a new actor or actress that you recognize, cameo or not. But this is also a movie that made me both want to turn it off and keep watching with endless intrigue (that, and I was waiting for Wallace Shawn to go "Inconceivable!" or "never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"). I never knew what was going on, but I never really felt lost. I guess because I'm decently versed in the Book of Revelation, so I was sitting there trying to figure out who was supposed to represent who the whole time (and I didn't know this was an allegory prior to watching, either... if you can call it that). Not to mention the movie was full of bible references, literary references, and musical references. By the time it got to the Zeppelin scenes at the end, I just couldn't look away. The movie is like a Jackson Pollock painting. It's a total mess and is utter crap... but deep down inside, you know it's a work of freakin' genius.

WTF

GET SMART.

The movie is based on an old TV show of the same name, and I refuse to pun the name in this review (such as ‘Get Smart and Go See This!’) or whatever. So I’ll just get into i… wait, did I just pun the name in my explanation not to pun it? DAMNIT! Anyway… Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) is an incredibly smart desk-bound agent for CONTROL, head up by the Chief (Alan Arkin). After all the agents are compromised in names and looks, including Agent 23 (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), CONTROL is forced to make Max into a full-time field agent, Agent 86. Now in his dream job, Max teams up with Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway), who is able to work the job because she had recently gotten facial reconstruction, and goes to Russia to find out what the evil KAOS group is doing with some nuclear materials and stop them.

I have to say, this movie was pretty funny. The first half, though, tended to be either hit or miss. What I mean by that is, some of the jokes were set up to be great and then they ‘missed it by that much.’ They were still funny, but not as funny as they really could have been. However, as the movie goes on, it gets better/funnier. And while the majority of the jokes are predictable (because you know what to expect from a slapstick comedy), they’re still effective and funny. And I loved the entire bit with the plane bathroom and the parachute stuff soon after.

The acting was done pretty well, even by Miss Hathaway. And I must say, she’s a great deal of eye candy in this movie. Though The Rock’s character was a bit underused in the middle (I don’t care if he’s trying to be more serious by going by his real name… he’ll always be The Rock to me). Oh, and there’s a great small/secondary role by Heroes’ Masi Oka that’s really fun.

I actually don’t have much more to say about it. I thought the movie was really funny, and Anne Hathaway was really nice to look at. There are some cool action stunts toward the end, too. Overall, a really good movie. It’s pretty much what I expected it to be (a fun, goofy, slapstick comedy). Oh, and look for a brief cameo appearance by Bill Murray, too. It’s pretty funny.

I Am McLovin!