60/60 Extra: Casino.

Note: For only the second time in this project, I will have to use the short review format.

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Premise: Two mobster friends have troubles while running a Casino in Vegas... or something.

Starring: Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Sharon Stone, James Woods, Kevin Pollack, and Don Rickles.

My Reaction: I can't emphasize enough... how little I cared about this movie. It's not that I didn't care for it. It's that I just really didn't care. It starts out somewhat stylish enough with an interesting alternating voice-over and whatnot. But that just keeps going. After 40 minutes of voice-over explanations and no real story to speak of... it lost me. I'll be honest--I just started chatting it up with my podcast co-host, Steve for the next 2 and a half hours or however long I had left in this way-too-long movie. Yeah, I was still paying half attention to the movie, but it was so dull and uninteresting to me I just couldn't care less. It's not a poorly made film on a technical or acting level. Not at all. It was just yet another flick that wasn't for me. Sorry.


Feed Me, Seymour!

(P.S. Only for quality purposes and random bits of intrigue do I give it this high of a rating. It certainly doesn't deserve to be in the same lower ratings as some of the other films I've seen. Again, I don't think it was bad--I just didn't care.)

(P.P.S. Just to spur things on even more... I, funnily enough, wrote this review while I was only half-paying attention, as well. I was watching television of some sort.)

Short Review: The Warrior's Way.

Premise: A ninja warrior finds a home in a desert western circus town to hide from his clan after they start hunting him down when he refuses to complete his mission.

Starring: Dong-gun Jang, Kate Bosworth, Danny Huston, Tony Cox, and Geoffrey Rush.

My Reaction: I was super excited for this movie to hit theaters, but never got a chance to see it. Now I have and... well... it's basically taking a poor-man's Ninja Assassin, setting it in the wild west, and filming it with the cartoonish idiocy of The Spirit. There's maybe 2 well-done scenes in the whole film. And WTF is Geoffrey Rush doing in this?


The Zed Word

60/60 Extra: Primal Fear.

Note: I'll be writing this in a Short Review format.

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Premise: A no-nonsense lawyer takes on the case of a disturbed alter boy accused of murdering a priest, but things aren't quite what they appear to be.

Starring: Richard Gere, Edward Norton, Laura Linney, and Frances McDormand.

My Reaction: This was a good little thriller. This was one of the only films this month I didn't know the twist for (though Jason nearly spoiled it for me about 30 minutes before it was revealed). The acting is pretty dang good. The story is interesting, though almost too bloated. There are a couple side stories that fortunately tie into the main one, so they aren't too extraneous. Overall a really good film. The film bordered on too predictable and slightly cliche, but the last 15 minutes or so really does make up for most of it. Good stuff.


I Am McLovin!

(P.S. That's a strong rating. I almost went one higher, but I just didn't feel overall too strongly for it outside the ending. I'd definitely watch it again, though. Another viewing could get a stronger reaction from me--totally possible.)

60/60 Extra: Black Hawk Down.

Note: I'm gonna do this in a Short Review format, because I honestly don't have all that much to say about it.

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Premise: A true story of when American soldiers in Mogadishu attempt to capture some somali renegade officials and end up getting two of their Black Hawk helicopters shot down and have to brave out the dangerous streets for hours until rescue can come for them.

Starring: Josh Hartnett, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore, Eric Bana, William Fichtner, Ewen Bremner, Kim Coates, Ioan Gruffudd, Jason Isaacs, Jeremy Piven, Tom Hardy, George Harris, Ty Burrell, Zeljko Ivanek, Hugh Dancy, and Orlando Bloom.

My Reaction: Seriously, who isn't in this movie? Anyway, the cinematography bugged me at times, particularly near the beginning. The movie is basically 20 minutes of setup and 2 hours of literally non-stop action. It's like every man, woman, and child in that town owns an assault rifle and an RPG/rocket launcher. I know this really happened, but it almost felt ridiculous after a while. Unfortunately, even with such a strong cast, the movie doesn't utilize them. You don't get to know really any of them, which means character development is little to none. I couldn't even tell you their names outside of Orlando Bloom's Blackburn, and even then I would have told you "blackbird." I have to be honest, though... I was pretty bored after a while and was just waiting for it to end. It does have some entertainment value, but that only goes so far when you're doing the exact same, non-stop thing for 2 straight hours.


Stop Saying OK! OK.

Short Review: The Next Three Days.

Premise: After his wife is accused of murder with no chance of release, a man plans an elaborate escape to get her out and take her and their son to a foreign country to live outside the grip of the law.

Starring: Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Ty Simpkins, Olivia Wilde, Jason Beghe, Aisha Hinds, Liam Neeson, Jonathan Tucker, RZA, Kevin Corrigan, and Daniel Stern.

My Reaction: I really enjoyed the first hour of set-up and planning. While some might see it as a bit too slow, I felt the slow burn would lead up nicely to the second hour of action. Unfortunately, the action is only in the last 20 minutes or so. The 40 minutes in between the first hour and the last 20 minutes are where most of my major problems with this movie lie. First, it loses some steam. Second, it starts to feel redundant. And third, it just drives home my biggest issue with the movie as a whole: she (the wife) is so not worth it. She's a total witch, and I honestly couldn't see why he would go through so much trouble for her--especially the scene where the movie gets particularly dark and he decides to follow a drug dealer (the Jonathan Tucker/Kevin Corrigan scene). However, the break-out and subsequent on-the-run sequence is a lot of fun, making you wonder if they'll get away with it. Otherwise, not a big Russell Crowe fan, but I think he did fine with it. The movie is mostly entertaining for being a pseudo-heist film... it's just the lengths he goes to in comparison to what he's trying to obtain doesn't seem worth it overall. And most importantly, the title makes little sense, as it alludes to (mostly thanks to the trailer) the three days after the "heist," while the movie is about everything leading up to and then the actual attempt. The results are only visited for about 2 minutes. But maybe that's just me reading into it wrong.


I Am McLovin!

Short Review: Hot Tub Time Machine.

Note: I know, I feel so late to the game on this one... but *insert time travel joke here*.

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Premise: Three old friends and one's nephew accidentally travel back in time via hot tub to 1986 to relive an important night in their lives.

Starring: John Cusack, Clark Duke, Craig Robinson, Rob Corddry, Crispin Glover, and Chevy Chase.

My Reaction: Horribly disappointed with this film after hearing such good things about it. I laughed maybe twice in the whole film (I particularly enjoyed both the "great white buffalo" joke and the Crispin Glover arm gag). Rob Corddry's Lou was incredibly annoying and nearly unbearable for the majority of the film, only becoming watchable near the last act. I know the character is supposed to be an ass, but there's a way to do that and still want to watch the film. I came close to turning off the movie before they even traveled back in time. The others were pretty good, though. The other parts of the film that didn't include Corddry (and there were very few moments where that happened) were alright. But otherwise, the movie was pretty predictable and largely unfunny with only a couple parts here and there. The movie isn't honestly as bad as I'm making it sound, but it's nothing I'd go out of my way to watch again.


Feed Me, Seymour!

Short Review: Mean Guns.

Premise: A gangster places roughly 100 people who have messed with "The Syndicate" in an new, unopened prison to kill each other off so that only 3 people will survive for a prize of 10 million dollars.

Starring: Ice-T, Christopher Lambert, Yuji Okumoto, Thom Mathews, Tina Cote, and Deborah Van Valkenburgh.

My Reaction: It's totally a Battle Royale rip-off, but there are hundreds of them out there. How is this movie not a cult classic? It is so completely awful that it's bizarrely entertaining. Ice-T is ridiculous. Christopher Lambert is insanely over-the-top, yet totally cool. I was rooting for the characters of Hoss and Crow (played by Yuji Okumoto and Thom Mathews respectively) the whole time, because they were so hilarious. The editing and overall style of the movie is incredibly annoying, yet somehow endearing in its crappiness. The entire soundtrack consists of mambo music, which is totally strange considering the violence. The acting is silly, the violence is absurd, and there are random, though rare, bits of dialogue that would make Tarantino proud. Oh, and there are a couple moments I swear The Matrix ripped off, action-wise. Not bullet time or anything, but there are a couple moves that look almost exact, only this movie came out first. Anyway, I can't explain how awful(-ly) entertaining this movie is. It's just one of those to check out if you haven't.


I Am McLovin!

(P.S. This rating is kind of a mix between quality and entertainment.)

Short Review: P2.

Premise: A workaholic tries to go home on Christmas Eve but gets stuck inside her office building where an obsessive security guard keeps her hostage and attacks those who have wronged her.

Starring: Wes Bentley and Rachel Nichols.

My Reaction: A pretty bland thriller. It's pretty predictable and couldn't really hold my attention all that much. Some parts were bloody, but nothing was particularly memorable (except maybe the water in the elevator, though I would have liked to see that go a bit further). Though it is interesting how Wes Bentley's character is obviously mentally unstable and thinks what he's doing is right. But what really bugged me was how Rachel Nichols kept doing crazy, violent things when Wes Bentley hardly did anything to harm her specifically. It was only when she did things to attack him that he retaliated. Granted, she was being held hostage and was forced to do things, but her reactions were a bit over the top in relation to what he was doing (at least until he started killing, then her reactions were more believable). But overall... not great, but not terrible.


Stop Saying Okay! Okay.

Short Review: Ghost In The Shell.

Premise: In the future, two cyborg cops hunt down a super-hacker called The Puppetmaster who is hacking into cyborgs' ghosts (souls) and taking over their shells, making them do criminal acts.

Starring: A bunch of voice actors you won't know.

My Reaction: This is one of the biggest inspirations for The Matrix, as most people know. Now, I'd seen bits and pieces of this movie years ago. I remembered certain parts, specifically the battle against the giant tank thing near the end (there were others, but that was the main one). But I'd decided to finally sit down and watch the whole thing through. As we know, I'm a pretty big anime fan, so this isn't a big deal. But man, this movie was rough. I was also forced into the displeasure of watching it with English dubbing. The animation quality was poor. I know the characters are pretty much robots, but they were so monotone and boring. The story is dragged out and sometimes confusing. I kept waiting for the movie to be almost over, and I'd realize there was still 30+ minutes left. Don't get me wrong, it had its good moments. But you know what those moments were? The only parts I had any memory of from years ago. Go figure. And man was there a lot of animated nudity...


Stop Saying Okay! Okay.

Short Review: How To Be A Serial Killer.

Premise: A man balances his relationship with his girlfriend while taking a video store clerk in as his protege in the fine art of serial killing.

Starring: Dameon Clarke, Matthew Gray Gubler, Laura Regan, and George Wyner.

My Reaction: This is a very dark comedy, but a comedy nonetheless. It's also in a bit of a mockumentary-type style (similar to The Office). There are some similarities with Dexter, I suppose, but Dexter's more serious in tone. I wouldn't necessarily say it's incredibly memorable considering I watched it last week and I can hardly remember a thing about it. That being said, I was rather entertained while watching it. There were three main segments of the film. There was George Wyner as a psychiatrist just talking about the nature of killers. There was Demeon Clarke as the main serial killer character talking on a big stage about the major rules and whatnot to follow to be a successful serial killer. And then there are the segments with him and Matthew Gray Gubler, who plays the protege. The highlight of the movie is definitely Matthew Gray Gubler, who you might also recognize from (500) Days of Summer. It also became easy to figure out, as you started to catch on that whenever Dameon Clarke or George Wyner would talk about something, the next "real life" segment would mirror whatever was just said. Overall, it's an entertaining movie, and it's a decent way to spend an hour and a half. It's just not super fantastic or anything.


I Am McLovin!

Short Review: Pin.

Premise: (straight from imdb): A doctor has a lifelike, anatomically-correct medical dummy, with muscles and organs visible through its clear skin, named Pin (after Pinocchio). Via ventriloquism, Pin explains bodily functions in a way kids can relate to. When the over-strict doctor and his wife are killed in a car crash, his son (Leon) transfers his alter-ego into Pin, whom he always believed was alive. He starts using Pin as an excuse to over-protect his sister (Ursula) from admirers and deflect unwanted intrusions, even to the extent of committing murder.

Starring: David Hewlett, Terry O'Quinn, and Cynthia Preston.

My Reaction: I couldn't even figure out a way to give the premise... this movie was crazy. This movie is so bizarre and wrong on so many levels... from the father's need to use Pin as a means to explain the birds and the bees to the father almost forcing his son to watch his daughter's abortion to Leon's basically incest-based obsession with his sister. And there's more... so much more. This is one messed up family and one very strange movie. David Hewlett, who I love from pretty much any of his collaborations with Vincenzo Natali, does well here selling his insanity. And it was strange in-and-of-itself to see Terry O'Quinn (from LOST) with hair. I really can't even begin to get into reviewing this movie. So I'll just leave it at this: If you're into bizarre psychological thrillers, check out Pin. I assure you that you haven't seen anything like it before.


WTF

Short Review: Hatchet.

Premise: Two friends join a group of others on a "haunted swamp" boat ride that ends up wrecking in a forbidden area where a deformed psychopath lives.

Starring: Joel Moore, Tamara Feldman, Deon Richmond, Kane Hodder, Mercedes McNab, Parry Shen, Robert Englund, and Tony Todd.

My Reaction: Not only is it a great horror/comedy, but a great homage to slasher flicks. Having Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) and Tony Todd (Candyman) play bit parts was fun, and then having Kane Hodder (Jason Vorhees) play the main villain just adds to it. And though I'm probably the only one, I thought it was great to see Parry Shen in something outside of The New Guy (totally underrated comedy that most people, for some reason, dislike). There was a lot of good comedy, as well. Some really fun, cheesy effects that pay homage to the 80s slasher flicks. And there was good horror, of course, though pretty much all of it was jump scares (the only part that wasn't was the "daaaddddyyy" bit, which was just creepy). And the best thing about the movie? It had truly likable characters. It's so rare these days that you get a horror movie with likable characters. Usually you're stuck with annoying emo (or tough guy jock) teenagers who just whimper and breath heavily. The only downside to the movie was the ending. I know it's an homage to Friday the 13th, but there was still something about it that irked me. Anyway, if you're a fan of horror/comedies and/or 80s slasher movies, I'd say check this one out.


I Am McLovin!

Short Review: A Wednesday.

Premise: An elderly man sets up 5 bombs around Mumbai and demands 4 terrorists in exchange. They've got mere hours.

Starring: A bunch of Indian actors I'm sure none of you have heard of.

My Reaction: This movie is supposed to be one of the greatest Indian thrillers ever made. And... I was pretty bored with it. It didn't help that most of the time the subtitles were off the screen before I could even get half of them read. It has a very slow start, introducing you to a plethora characters, one or two of which you never even see again. And the character actions sometimes didn't make sense. However, the third act of the movie is outstanding. Once you figure out who the man is and what his purpose is, the movie shoots for excellence and pretty much achieves it. In fact, I think this is one of those rare movies I believe deserves to be remade, because the rest of the movie can be done so much better to match up with the last portion of the film. If they gave the secondary characters more depth, tied up a few loose strings, and made a couple things make a bit more sense, then it could definitely be an outstanding film. As of now, however, it's just an outstanding third act with a sub-par first act and average second act. Average that together and you get... well... average. Though I do recommend it simply for the last 30 minutes or so.



Stop Saying Okay! Okay.

Short Review: Zerophilia.

Premise: A boy discovers he has a rare condition known as Zerophilia, where he can change gender whenever he has an orgasm.

Starring: Taylor Handley, Dustin Seavey, Allison Folland, Kyle Schmid, Rebecca Mozo, and Gina Bellman.

My Reaction: A very unique idea, to say the least. The acting is decent, though the male version of the main character can get a bit annoying sometimes. You have no idea how much Rebecca Mozo looks like a mash between Keira Knightley and Winona Ryder, and that is all you will think about while she is on screen. There's a good story with a pretty good twist later on (actually, there are a couple). The characters are believable in their relationships with each other, though there are some pretty over-the-top moments. Overall, a unique and enjoyable film that, again, is pretty much a Rom Com/Sex Com, but it doesn't feel like one (despite sex being pretty much the centerpiece of the plot).


I Am McLovin!

Short Review: 100 Girls.

Premise: A college guy gets stuck inside an elevator during a blackout and meets the love of his life... but doesn't catch her name or her face, sending him on a quest to hunt through the female dormitory to find her.

Starring: Jonathan Tucker, Emmanuelle Chriqui, James DeBello, Katherine Heigl, Larisa Oleynik, Jaime Pressly, Marissa Ribisi, and Johnny Green.

My Reaction: This was a very sophisticated sex comedy... which is the best way I can put it. It takes a pretty good look at sex and relationships through the eyes of a male and does it pretty well and pretty realistically. It also touches on the female side, a bit, too... as Jonathan Tucker does a bit of cross dressing. Katherine Heigl, who usually annoys me, is actually pretty good in it, though her role is incredibly minor. She reminded me a lot of Julia Stiles' character in 10 Things I Hate About You, which is ironic considering Larisa Oleynik being in this movie. The movie does manage to keep you guessing on who the mystery girl could be, dropping clues at any number of girls. But the movie's biggest problem is that it has way too many characters and it tries to accomplish too much. It needed a tighter script with more direction and understanding of its purpose, instead of having about 15 different subplots going on simultaneously. But overall a pretty harmless, rather charming, and intelligent sex comedy.


I Am McLovin!

Short Review: The Ugly Truth.

Premise: An uptight woman who works as a TV show producer meets a foul-mouthed TV persona who is hired on to bring up the ratings of her show, only to have him teach her how to get a man.

Starring: Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl.

My Reaction: The Ugly Truth is like mixing together American Pie 2 and Hitch. Let me explain... you know that bit of American Pie 2 where Alyson Hannigan teaches Jason Biggs how to be with a woman? Now, imagine if that montage was stretched out into a whole movie where Alyson Hannigan is replaced with Stiffler, but Stiffler is merged with Will Smith's Hitch (and then Jason Biggs is replaced with, well... Katherine Heigl). This movie isn't anything new to the Rom-Com genre and is quite reminiscent of other films, like I said (for instance, another scene brought to mind the diner-orgasm scene of When Harry Met Sally). The tone seemed kinda strange, as it didn't know if it wanted to be raunchy sex comedy or Rom-Com. Despite this, I found some good laughs in the movie. But it's overall a very predictable Rom-Com, just full of some pretty raunchy jokes not usually found in the genre. And Gerard Butler is charismatic enough to keep it interesting (despite talking through the side of his mouth the whole time, trying to keep that American accent).


Stop Saying Okay! Okay.

New: The Room Short Review + LAMBcast #4.

I posted a Short Review for The Room in the MOVIES section.

And just in time for LAMBcast #4! I'm not in this episode, though. It's a mini episode dealing with The Room, one of the worst movies ever made.

The episode is run by LAMBcast regulars:

* Fletch of Blog Cabins
* Tom Clift of Plus Trailers and
* Jason Soto of Invasion of the B Movies.

Additional sites mentioned during the podcast:
* The Room's Wikipedia page
* Entertainment Weekly: The Crazy Cult of The Room

You can catch the episode on iTunes, or listen to the widget in the sidebar (I can't get the widget to work in posts for some reason).

And in case you haven't seen The Room, at least check out the following videos, including the official trailer, the "flower shop" scene, and a montage of all the "Oh hi" moments of the movie:

Short Review: Attack The Gas Station!

Premise: Four friends with troubled pasts rob a gas station. A little bit later, just out of pure boredom, they decide to rob it again. But since the station only has a little money, they decide to take everyone hostage and run the gas station themselves and rip off the customers... which just continues to escalate, and nobody (including the cops) is ever the wiser.

Starring: Sung-jae Lee, Oh-seong Yu, Seong-jin Kang, Ji-tae Yu, Yeong-gyu Park, Jun Jeong, and Yu-won Lee. 

My Reaction: I'm always on the lookout for a good heist movie. With a high score on imdb and a great premise, this one was promising. And "promising" is about where it stays. I have a feeling that the movie is primarily for South Korean audiences, and some things were missing in translation. There were some fun or funny bits, but they were too few and far between. I didn't care for any of the characters. The movie is entirely too long (about the 45 minute mark, I thought it had to be about over. But there was still over an hour to go). The movie is often slapstick, and sometimes just strange, though mostly unrealistic. Though the acting is good, and it has a good climax. There are bits of the story that I would have liked to see delved into more, but which weren't. I honestly believe (and I felt this way while watching the movie) that, if handled right, with just the right things cut/changed/added, it would make a good American remake. As it is, the movie has a good stylistic eye, but there aren't enough "that's cool" moments to win the style over substance fight. It should have been more thrilling in the suspense moments. It should have been funnier in the comedy moments (though that's probably where a lot of the 'lost in translation' comes in). But for the most part, it just feel a bit too muddled and overlong. It's not a bad movie by any means. I just don't think it lived up to its promise, or the bits of inspiration it showed at times during the film.

Stop Saying Okay! Okay.

Short Review: The Protector.

Premise: After an elephant is stolen, a fighter/protector must travel to Australia to retrieve it and fight anybody who gets in his way (including a very Cruella Deville-type villain).

Starring: Tony Jaa.

My Reaction: This movie is beyond ridiculous. Looking at that premise, you have to think "Is this a parody/comedy?" But it isn't. It takes itself very seriously. The worst part about the movie was its awful editing. It would jump from one thing to the next without any transition. And then even within scenes, it bounced around. It was so distracting and terrible. I've never seen a worse editing job in a movie. And then you have the weird subbing/dubbing issue. A third of the time, characters are speaking their natural language and the movie is subtitled. Fine. Another third of the time, you have white characters speaking English as per usual. Also fine. But then the other third of the time, you have the Thai characters speaking English, but their voices have been dubbed over. And not that they were speaking English and they just got a different voice. But you can clearly tell they were speaking their native tongue and somebody dubbed over in English. It's so freaking weird, mostly because the movie already relies on subtitles and also already has English-speaking actors, so to dub over others is mind boggling. Now, I've also seen Tony Jaa's Ong-Bak, which I felt was also disappointing, but not to this degree. Though it had a lot of technical issues as well. But the two share one thing in common: they both have some pretty great action. And that's the only thing that helps it. Does it save it? No. The editing is too awful for even the action to save it. If it weren't for the editing, I could have looked at it like a really crappy B-action movie with a ridiculous story and bad dubbing/subbing issues. But I can't. I fell asleep about halfway through and didn't care enough to finish it this morning before sending it back to Netflix. And I should have figured as much when the credits start and I see "Quentin Tarantino Presents..." Outside of maybe Jet Li's Hero, any movie he "presents" is awful. If you were gonna watch this movie for anything, it would be the action. Otherwise, just... skip it.

The Zed Word

Short Review: Yes Man.

Premise: An overly negative and lonely man who says No to everything is talked into going to a seminar where he makes a pact to instead say Yes to every option given to him... or else bad things might happen. And if he does, his life will immediately turn around for the better.

Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Darby, Danny Masterson, and Terence Stamp.

My Reaction: It's not laugh-out-loud comedy, but it's more of a feel-good comedy. Sometimes the situations make Jim Carrey act like... well... Jim Carrey, which is a bit over-the-top for the character. Otherwise, the acting was decent. The only major thing that bugged me was how every little thing he says "yes" to comes back with some higher purpose (for better or for worse). It turns the whole first half of the movie into a Chekov's Gun: "Oh, I wonder how that's gonna come back later?" Nevertheless, I liked the characters and the situations, and I even sympathized with Carrey's character a bit (though not in the aggressive ways he took with his "no"s). Though I particularly liked Rhys Darby's character of Norman, but probably only because he threw a Harry Potter costume party. Overall, an entertaining movie.


I Am McLovin!