Musical Monday: South Park: Bigger, Longer, And Uncut - Kyle's Mom's A Bitch (#29).

[Every Monday, I'm going to be counting down my 52 favorite musical numbers from musical movies and TV shows. I might not like the full movie/show, but the number makes the list for various reasons: 1) I have to like the song, 2) the visual of how the number is performed is most likely unique or fun, 3) both song and visual mixes well to create an exciting or powerful number. So let's get to the next on the list.]

I actually don't watch the TV show, but I've seen the movie a number of times. The music is totally catchy, but I wanted to pick just one song for this list. It was hard to choose, but I went with this one because it's the most memorable and will get stuck in your head. Not to mention I just love the part where he stars going off in different languages. Not to mention I always used to think the song made a totally random Dragonball Z reference, though it was more of a random historical figure reference. Anywho, here you go:

Post #800: The Vlog Season 3 Promo!

That's right, folks! This is my 800th post! How awesome is that? And to celebrate, I'm going to show y'all the promo for Season 3 of The Vlog! Not much to say, so let's just get right to it (and yeah, I know I'm using this same song... again. What can I say? It's one of my favorite songs, and it works well for dramatics). Here you go:

KUNG FU PANDA 2.

When I went into the first Kung Fu Panda, I had such low expectations, but ended up leaving the theater loving it. This time, I went in with much higher expectations... but was that a mistake? We're reunited with the Dragon Warrior, Po (Jack Black), and the Furious Five: Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Viper (Lucy Liu), Crane (David Cross), and Mantis (Seth Rogen). They've become pretty close, even Po with their master, Shifu (Dustin Hoffman). But when Shen (Gary Oldman) decides to take over China using weapons of metal and fire (essentially a hybrid of cannons and fireworks), something so powerful that kung fu can't even stop it, it's up to our heroes to stop him. Unfortunately, a dangerous connection with Shen and something from Po's past comes back to haunt him, and he realizes an upsetting truth about his father, Mr. Ping (James Hong). Also giving their voice talents are Michelle Yeoh as a Soothsayer, Danny McBride as the Wolf Boss, and Dennis Haysbert and Jean-Claude Van Damme as two kung fu masters, Ox and Croc (respectively).

One thing I have to give the movie credit for is that it's very much a continuation of the story and not just a rehash of the original. They build on the characters, give them new challenges, and go through a new story. In the first, they were definitely antagonistic tendencies between Po and the Furious Five, particularly Tigress. But this time through, they're all pretty much friends, and there's even something hinted at and developing between Po and Tigress that I hope is explored further in a third chapter. Also, there's a lot of heart in this movie, Po and his internal struggle to discover who he is and who his family truly is. And there were some points near the end, I'll admit, that almost made me cry.

One of the great things about the first movie, though, too, were the action set pieces. Despite being an animated film, the action scenes were stunning and beautifully choreographed. This time through, there's a very slight drop in quality, but there are still some very fun moments. And, again, there's the "special technique" Po must learn that will inevitably help him defeat the enemy. This time it's a bit more obvious throughout, but it's still a good payoff (with a welcome and pretty hardcore "ska-doosh").

Strangely, I think where the movie suffers most is also one of its strongest areas. On the one side, you have a great story with Po struggling about his family and his history. It's a great, heartfelt side-story that brings characters together and really makes you feel for them. Unfortunately, there's the other story of the film--the one involving Shen--that's not as strong. It feels very shallow, and it could have been much deeper and more explored. They try to parallel it with Po's, but it barely misses the mark. I think with maybe one more draft of the script, they could have worked out the kinks, and things might not have felt so uneven or, at times, flat.

The animation, though, is absolutely gorgeous. There are so many fantastic settings and scenes that are amazing to look at. And there's a secondary style used for flashbacks and dream sequences (we saw this briefly in the first film) that is used frequently throughout the film that is completely fantastic. I also saw this one in 3D, and between this and How To Train Your Dragon, Dreamworks seems to know how to use the format. The movie would look stunning either way, and you probably won't miss anything if you don't see it in 3D, but it just adds a little something extra if you're willing to pay for it.

Overall, it doesn't quite reach the heights of the first film. Regardless, it is still a pretty dang entertaining movie, and another solid entry as of late for Dreamworks. If they decided to turn this into a trilogy, I'd still pay to see a third to see where they can take the characters and their relationships with each other. The animation is fantastic, the characters are good, the fighting is fun, and the humor is there. With a few more tweaks, it could have been outstanding, but for what it is, it's just really good.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

60/60 Extra: Salò, Or The 120 Days Of Sodom.

It's very rare a movie can make me feel like this. I can only think of one other time in recent memory, actually. Made in 1975 (and subsequently banned in many countries), Salò is an updated adaptation based on the book by the Marquis de Sade and tells the tale of four fascists who kidnap a bunch of boys and girls (who may or may not be 18) and take them to an off-the-map mansion outside the city of Salò. While there, they must follow specific rules or pay the consequences. Long story short, the boys and girls are there to be raped and tortured for 120 days until their ultimate demise. Think of it like Hostel meets 2 Girls/1 Cup as directed by a 70s gay porn director who is trying his hardest to be arrested for every kind of sexual/taboo crime imaginable. And then put it in Italian.

The movie is nearly 2 hours of deplorable activity. I mean, it starts with rape and works its way down the gutter from there. And the worst part is that the film isn't even focused on the point of view of the victims, but of those doing the deed--and they're happy and turned on by everything. This truly has it all: rape (gay, straight, regular, and anal), public humiliation, urination, scat (eating and somewhat bathing), stories of pedophilia (among most of the other things already mentioned), mental and physical torture (including burning, scalping, whipping, and the cutting-off of things), and eventual murder. And that's not even everything. You might be wondering, if you read my recent review on Visitor Q, why some of this stuff bothered me this time and not that time. It's a mix of the situations these characters are in and the tone the movie sets up. In Visitor Q, it was like a very bizarre, pornographic, absurdly taboo cartoon. In here, the situation is set up as realistic, as if this actually happened--mix that with the fact that all of the stuff done in this movie is done in the tone that it excites these people and is seen as a good thing. There are exceptions to that, though--you do see the victims upset and wanting out of this man-made Hell. And at the end, some of the adults have even had enough and know how evil things are.

This review will be short. There's absolutely no redeemable quality to this movie. There's no plot. Characters don't really change or evolve. It's just 2 hours of ultimate depravity. I cannot recommend this movie under any circumstances. By the end, I was actually sick to my stomach (and I still am, as I write this review). And that's a total rarity when it comes to watching movies for me.


She's Gone From Suck To Blow!

(P.S. Not to be childish, but the pun of that rating and this movie are totally coincidental.)

(P.P.S. Not to continue being childish, but I honestly did not purposefully plan this review to go up on 6/9.)

60/60 Review #31: Visitor Q.

Jason believes I have become jaded. Within the last year or so, after having seen movies like Deadgirl, Antichrist, and Eraserhead, it's no wonder I can view a movie like Visitor Q and not want to curl up an cry like Jason said I was going to. Prior to this one, I've seen a total of, I believe, 2 and a half Takashi Miike films: Audition, The Happiness of the Katakuris, and half of Ichi the Killer. He's known for being one of the ballsiest and most disturbing directors out there. I can see why. While Audition is seemingly his most famous, Visitor Q always gets tossed around in discussion, as well. It's a look at reality, voyeurism, and taboo. And I do mean taboo. The film explores, among other things, incest, S&M, lactation, scat, necrophilia, as well as domestic abuse and bullying.

I can't really give you much of a story. I'll try: After Father (Ken'ichi Endo) has sex with his estranged prostitute daughter (Fujiko), he begins his travel home, only to get beaten over the head (twice) with a rock by a random man, Visitor Q (Kazushi Watanabe). Meanwhile, we're also shown his son (Jun Muto), an abusive boy who likes to brutally assault his mother (Shungiku Uchida). Visitor Q decides to stay with the family for a while and just hang out and watch their goings on. During this time, Father--a shamed reporter--decides to make a big story out of his son's life, as his son is getting bullied at school, and it's carrying over to their home.

This is not the movie I was expecting. I was waiting for blood and guts and evisceration and something twice as hardcore as Audition and Ichi the Killer, as Jason promised me those didn't even hold a candle to this one in disturbingness. Don't get me wrong; this movie is definitely disturbing and bizarre and not on a recommended watch list. Just take a gander at that list at the end of the first paragraph again.

But the reason I was able to handle all that here was in its tone. I mean, how could I be so disturbed by necrophilia and abuse in Deadgirl, but this one makes me want to laugh? It's all in how the movie sets it up. It's hard to take a movie seriously when the family is working together, pouring vinegar into a bathtub over genitalia because they got lodged together during rigor mortis--and it's followed up by a cartoonish "pop" to let us know the guy is free. Also, it's hard to take seriously a woman bringing herself to orgasm standing in a trash bag dress as she massages her breasts, milking herself... while Visitor Q sits nearby quietly with a see-through umbrella. Is that stuff totally freakin' bizarre and disturbing? Yeah. But the way it's presented is so non-serious that I have trouble feeling really anything besides "Um, OK... this is freakin' weird." And that's just two things of many others I could list.

But did I want to curl up and cry after it was over? Did I desperately need a hug? Not even close. It's a movie I certainly won't forget, that's for sure. But, again, I can't go around recommending it lightly, either. It might present itself, at times, as a very dark comedy (like Miike's own Happiness of the Katakuris)--and, in fact, imdb actually lists it as a comedy, then drama, then horror--but it's still a movie that will bother a lot of people merely due to its many subject matters.

I'm conflicted in my rating, though. I don't want to give it a positive rating; the first 45 minutes are pretty boring and uneventful, and the subject matters of the bulk of the film would make it too weird. I don't want to give it too negative, either; despite everything, the film is put together well, and Miike always knows what he's going for in a movie... I think. But does it deserve a full WTF? I'm not so sure. It definitely makes sense as a movie, and you can follow the story and the characters, even if what they're doing is completely bizarre or unrealistic. Also, I haven't even mentioned the fact that the first 10 minutes, plus a handful of other moments, is basically porn. Literally. I didn't like or hate the movie, and I'm almost disgusted that I found a lot of it funny (not knee-slapping funny, but "this is so WTF you can't help amusement")--but I think that was part of Miike's point. So I guess I'm stuck with this rating regardless.


WTF

(P.S. I really want to avoid giving this rating this whole month, but I couldn't help it here. I'd feel either dirty or wrong giving it any kind of formal rating. Sorry.)

DVD Review: I Saw The Devil.

I'm a big fan of South Korean cinema. They have some really great, though oftentimes twisted, movies that come out of there. When I first heard about this movie, it was about how disturbing and violent it was. Then I saw who was in it, and my interest shot up even more. As of this review, it's been a couple days since I popped it into my DVD player, and I'm still thinking about it.

It tells the story of Kim Soo-hyeon (Byung-hun Lee), a special agent who works for the government and with the police. When his fiancee is killed by the psychotic serial killer Kyung-chul (Min-sik Choi), Soo-hyeon enters a cat-and-mouse game with the killer. He follows him around, torturing and beating him every time he gets close to harming another person--never letting Kyung-chul know when the next attack is coming. But is the monster hunter becoming a monster himself?

If you're a fan of South Korean cinema, you should recognize at least one (if not both) of the leads. Min-sik Choi, of course, is our favorite lead badass from Oldboy. Byung-hun Lee, on the other hand, played "The Bad" in The Good The Bad The Weird, an Asian play on The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. I was really smitten with that film when I watched it back in December, and I cited that Byung-hun Lee was a big reason for it. So just at the start, we have these two powerhouse actors playing against each other--ironically, switching sides between their respective films. And it truly is epic.

There is a bit of a slow start, though. After the brutal opening, there's a (very) small chunk of the movie that felt oddly edited and put together. It was a bit dull, too. Fortunately that doesn't last long, and the cat-and-mouse stuff begins shortly thereafter. The film is slightly less than 2.5 hours, so you're in for a long, hard ride.

The violence is insane. It's not the craziest I've ever seen (looking at you, Takashi Miike), but it's constant and intense. Some of it gets to the point of "how are they surviving this?" primarily with all the head bludgeoning. But you learn to roll with it after a while. And I will admit--there's not a lot that makes me cringe in violent movies these days, but this movie made me... and more than once. And there are a couple points where I felt things were too convenient (how does this serial killer keep coming across other psychopaths?), but one of them is explained, so I dropped that.

There's also some fantastic camera work in this movie. There are a lot of interesting shots, and there's one in particular that stood out. There's an attack in a car between 3 people. The camera just circles them--it would have been cooler as one long take, but there are a couple breaks in between to show the outside of the car weaving in the road. Regardless, it was an amazingly shot scene. And there are a handful of others like it.

This is not a movie that will leave you feeling good, though. By the end, you're worn down and depressed. Sure, it's a (disturbing) thriller, and it ends pretty much as expected, but there's so much emotion and rage and sadness and pain emanating from the film through its main character that by the end, you're conflicted about who you've been rooting for this whole time and upset despite the outcome. And, unfortunately, it does go on a wee bit too long, making it even harder to get through.

Regardless, if you're a fan of South Korean cinema and aren't affected much by strong violence, I do recommend it. It's a very strong film--it's shot well, directed well, written well, and the two powerhouse actors at the helm are fantastic. If this had been directed by Chan-wook Park, it would have fit in pretty perfectly with his Revenge Trilogy. Instead, it was held very well by Jee-woon Kim (A Tale of Two Sisters; The Good The Bad The Weird). I'm definitely gonna keep my eye out for this guy considering how I've taken to his last two efforts, and I do recommend (again) this film, though with a warning that it's not for the squeamish.


Royale With Cheese

(P.S. This was a tough rating, believe it or not. It's not a perfect film, and it's length and somewhat repetitiveness can grate at times. But the acting, car attack scene, and ending alone deserve my love. But for now, let's say it's more of a 4.5 out of 5 than a full 5.)

(P.P.S. I would love to see this guy make a Death Note movie. He'd be perfect.)

Musical Monday: The Nightmare Before Christmas - What's This? (#30).

[Every Monday, I'm going to be counting down my 52 favorite musical numbers from musical movies and TV shows. I might not like the full movie/show, but the number makes the list for various reasons: 1) I have to like the song, 2) the visual of how the number is performed is most likely unique or fun, 3) both song and visual mixes well to create an exciting or powerful number. So let's get to the next on the list.]

It's a song that explores the childlike wonderment of the new and exciting. Jack ends up in Christmastown and is completely enthralled by everything he experiences. It also gives us a fantastic look into the character of Jack, who had before this been depressed with the same old thing. The song is fun, catchy, and Jack's travel through Christmastown is fantastic. Not really anything else to say, so here's the segment:



And like the last Nightmare Before Christmas song, here's a cover version synced with the video. It's Fall Out Boy's version:

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS.

The experience of X-Men: First Class has been a rollercoaster ride... even before the movie came out! When I first heard James McAvoy was going to be a young Professor X, I wasn't sure what to think. Then there was the first trailer, which was pretty cool. Then there was another trailer... and another trailer... and another trailer... and (hideous) poster upon (atrocious) poster. Then the reviews came pouring in, and they were declaring how outstanding the movie was. The TV ads were changing themselves to quote reviews saying things like how it battles The Dark Knight for best comic book movie ever made. Rotten Tomatoes has it currently at 87%. In fact, I'd only heard one relatively negative review (and Dylan assured me they were almost all he'd heard--in fact, he'd seen nothing but lukewarm-at-best reviews, and none of these "excellent" ones). And then, after all that, I finally saw the film.

Erik (Michael Fassbender) is a Holocaust survivor, but he's still a tortured soul, in no small part thanks to a man named Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon). Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) is a "professor" of genetics, with a focus in mutations. He travels together with his friend and kinda-adoptive sister, Raven (Jennifer Lawrence). But when Shaw begins his attempt to start the third World War, Xavier and Erik meet and work together with a CIA again named Moira (Rose Byrne) and form their own team of mutants to fight him. Other mutants (good and bad) you'll see are Riptide (Alex Gonzalez), Azazel (Jason Flemyng), Angel (Zoe Kravitz), Emma Frost (January Jones), Hank McCoy (Nicholas Hoult), Banshee (Caleb Landry Jones), Darwin (Edi Gathegi), and Alex Summers AKA Havok (Lucas Till). There's one more really fun one, but I don't want to spoil it, so I'll stop there.

I've never read the comics. I watched the cartoon sometimes growing up, played a video game or two, and saw the other movies, but that's about it. I can't argue if they stayed accurate or not... except two issues. Even I know that Alex Summers is Scott Summers/Cyclops' younger brother, so there's no way he could be in the first class. And I'm relatively sure (spoiler?) that's not how Prof X gets paralyzed. Besides those, I couldn't tell you anything glaring about it the adaptation.

I like it when stories are presented like this--going back and showing how things came together. We already know the stories and characters, so seeing everything's origins was fun (since it was done right... not like Origins: Wolverine). I'll be honest: I'm not a total hater on X-Men 3. But even I can't deny looking at that and looking at this and seeing the huge difference in quality, from acting to writing to... everything, really. I'll be honest some more: I was never of the kind that thought X2 was one of the greatest comic book movies before The Dark Knight. In fact, outside of the outstanding opening sequence, I thought it was a bit too long and kinda dull. I think this film strikes a nice balance between everything and gives us an X-Men movie that is equal parts strong story, good characters, good acting, and great action.

In the acting department, I was continually drawn in by rising star Jennifer Lawrence. I thought she was amazing in Winter's Bone, and she brings a needed depth to Mystique here. From the short clips and pictures we saw of her beforehand, the makeup bugged me. But it doesn't really bug me in the actual film, for some reason. James McAvoy excels as Charles, giving us a different side of him than we saw in the other films, but still keeping that wisdom endeared on us by Patrick Stewart. And Michael Fassbender was equal parts menacing and troubled as Erik/Magneto. Of course, I can't talk about the acting without bringing in Kevin Bacon as our villain. I don't know why he was absent from practically all advertisement. He's a huge part of the movie. But yeah, he was pretty creepy and did well with what he was given.

Though I think they could have done a little more with his climax battle. He had some really cool moments, but it could have been extended a little bit, I think. Overall, I think the writing was pretty good... though there really didn't need to be two Charles-Xavier-will-eventually-be-bald jokes.

Personally, I really enjoyed the film. It had some great moments, really fun action, some good humor, great character interactions, and a couple nice appearances by other (unmentioned) characters we've met in previous films. I think it captured the heart of X-Men really well, and I can safely say it's one of my favorites of the franchise. Is it perfect? No. The first 15 or so minutes bugged me for various reasons, and there were a few things here and there throughout the rest of the film I could have liked differently. But overall, it was a very good and very enjoyable superhero movie.


A Keanu 'Whoa'

The Demented Podcast #16 - Random Ramblings From The Supermassive Black Hole.

I decided to reschedule my DemPod release dates after the previous episode. So it's still continuing to be every two weeks from this point on, if you were wondering. Regardless, I recorded this episode with Sebastian a week ago, where we talk about our feelings on summer films from now through the end of August--the good, the bad, and the sleepers.

But before that, we take on The Challenge and some feedback (please leave more!). And after the discussion, he climbs The Tower. Let's just say... he's not happy with The Tower. Listen and find out why!

Current Tower Leaderboard
1) Jason - 126 Points
2) Jess - 123 Points
3) Rachel - 114 Points
4) Nick - 104 Points
5) Simon - 92 Points
Nolahn - Incomplete

Current Battle Royale Champion
Rachel Thuro - 171 Points

You can listen to this episode on the player below or by subscribing through iTunes.

That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.

60/60 Extra: Eraserhead.

Warning: Major spoilers below... if that's possible.

---------------------

Guys... gals... I don't even know. There's so many things I could say, but really... what's the point? There is none... just like this movie. How about a summary of the film? Let's see. Henry (Jack Nance) lives in a run-down apartment in some industrial town and often has dreams and/or hallucinations about alien worm thingies, a woman with cancerous bulby cheeks who sings and "dances," and some kind of rock planet. Later, after trying to cut up a cooked baby chicken that starts oozing while humping the air and his girlfriend's mom has some kind of seizure orgasm, he finds out his girlfriend had a mutant baby. That baby is like the Human Torso from Freaks had sex with Jar Jar Binks and spliced their DNA with a velociraptor (and/or a shell-less turtle). It gets sicks at one point. Henry has sex with a neighbor lady in a hot tub full of milk. Tons of dreams and/or hallucinations mixed in with this. Or it's just quite possible random shit just keeps appearing. I don't know. Henry's head falls off and is replaced by the head of his mutant baby, only for his decapititated head to fall through a puddle of what I assume is blood and land on the street in a completely different location. It loses its hair and is picked up by a boy. He takes it to a store and a guy drills into it, takes something out, and plugs it into a machine that produces erasers on the backs of pencils. Oh, it was all a dream! Well, at least everything from the head falling off bit onward. His mutant baby starts laughing at him. A creepy man fondles his neighbor lady. She sees him with a mutant baby head. He de-cocoons his baby to reveal grotesque innards. Then he kills it with the scissors. But then it starts oozing copious amounts of oatmeal or something and elongates its neck. The lights flicker a lot. The baby head gets enormous. The lights finally go out, the rock planet explodes like an egg, and inside is a man with boils sharpening a blade. Cancer-cheeks chick hugs Henry as they stand in endless white. The End.

Here are some interesting notes: This was David Lynch's first movie. The script was only about 20 pages long. Lynch refuses to give his own interpretation of the movie because he wants viewers to do it themselves (which I think means even he doesn't know). And it's one of Stanley Kubrick's favorite movies of all time.

Speaking of, I owe that man an apology. Five minutes into this, and I was begging for 2001: A Space Odyssey back. Don't get me wrong, there was something almost hypnotic about this movie. It was one of those train wrecks that you want to look away but just can't. By the halfway point, I was just watching out of morbid curiosity. I honestly had no idea what to expect next and, frankly, had long since given up caring (that was gone in the first few minutes). And unlike 2001, I honestly wasn't bored... just completely in a state of constant 'head-tilt-mouth-agape'.

This is pretty close to an unreviewable movie... mainly because I'm not sure I can accept it as a movie. I don't even know if I can call this movie too pretentious. It's just... weird. And I mean Salad Fingers weird (look it up), but without the bizarre humor. Maybe even moreso. The point is... I have no point. The only way I think I'll see this again is if I make someone else watch it and just watch their reaction as it goes on. My summary does it no justice. I promise.


WTF