Here it is! It's the final episode of The Vlog! See what happens in all 20(-ish) glorious minutes! And don't forget to stay until the very end! It's like Lord of the Rings up in here with all the additional endings. Oh yeah, and you don't wanna miss the first ever sighting of one James Blake Ewing!
Once you finish with that, check out the bloopers and alternate and/or deleted scenes. There were so many I had to separate them by episode. Yes, this is actually longer than the finale itself. So enjoy!
Please comment and let me know what you think about everything down below!
11.03.2012
The Demented Podcast #50 - Battle Royale 5.
Due to Podomatic bandwidth issues, I will no longer be placing the podcast player on the site (and ask that nobody else links directly to it, either). But you can easily listen and subscribe through iTunes!
Current Tower Leaderboard
1) Dylan - 167 Points
2) Rachel - 155 Points
3) Dan - 152 Points
4) Kai - 144 Points
5) Tom - 143 Points
6) Jason - 132 Points
7) Nolahn - 131 Points
8) Joel - 117 Points
9) Joanna - 93 Points
Current/Previous Battle Royale Champions
(BR4) Stevee Taylor - 285 Points
(BR3) Dan Heaton - 176 Points
(BR2) Dylan Fields - 114 Points
(BR1) Rachel Thuro - 171 Points
(BR2) Dylan Fields - 114 Points
(BR1) Rachel Thuro - 171 Points
That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.
11.02.2012
MonthWatch - October 2012.
[I'm going to keep a monthly tally of the movies I've both watched for the first time and as re-watches. I think it'll be interesting to see what all I've watched at the end of the year and how many. That being said, let's do it. Here's the next month.]
THEATRICAL (3)
RE-WATCH (10)
FIRST TIME (27)
CURRENT COUNT
Theatrical - 20
Re-Watch - 160
First Time - 218
TOTAL - 398
October
THEATRICAL (3)
Seven Psychopaths - I absolutely loved it!
Paranormal Activity 4 - This was crap. Good lead characters, though.
Silent Hill: Revelation - Even bigger crap. Such a disappointing follow-up.
RE-WATCH (10)
Chronicles of Riddick: Pitch Black - Had a Riddick marathon with friends. I heart this movie.
Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury - Ditto. And this one's story is good, but I don't care for the animation.
Chronicles of Riddick - Ditto. And this one grows on me. He has some great lines/moments in this, despite the story being a bit convoluted.
Resident Evil: Afterlife - What can I say? I kinda dig it.
Gymkata - Showed some friends. They hated me for it.
The Raid: Redemption - Showed the same friends right after. They loved it even more due to the comparison factor.
Little Shop of Horrors (Director's Cut) - Favorite Film of All Time... and the original ending is nuts fully completed!
Saw VI - The best of the sequels, in my opinion.
Aliens - The best of the sequels, in my (and/or everyone's) opinion.
Trick R Treat - Halloween tradition!
FIRST TIME (27)
Shark Night - Yeah, it was crap.
The Invisible Man (1933) - For 50/50. It... was eh. Great effects, though.
The Hole - The Joe Dante flick. It was alright, though kind of a rip-off of The Gate.
Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster - For MILF. Campy fun.
Hellraiser - I actually really liked it, much more than I thought I would.
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - Same for this one, strangely. I really liked the characters.
Bait - This was just ridiculous garbage. It had potential to be like Snakes on a Plane, but failed miserably.
Friday the 13th - Part 3 - For 50/50. It was... OK.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II - I liked this one, too. Not as much as the first, but it was still good.
Rock of Ages - For MILF. Bordering on my least favorite film of the year thus far. Tom Cruise's performance is helping it stay barely afloat.
Rockula - For a future Lair episode. I thought it was bizarre, campy fun, but not enough to warrant another watch.
Creepshow - Don't shoot me, but I only thought it was alright. I didn't dislike it, but it didn't hook me in, really.
Abre Los Ojos (Open Your Eyes) - For 50/50. I really liked it.
Murder Party - Holy CRAP this movie was insane. It's like kinda dull yet really strange first hour... and then off-the-walls third act.
Quick - A campy Korean version of Speed mixed with something like Torque or Premium Rush. It was alright.
Funny Games - For MILF. The original version. I liked it better than the remake, anyway.
Moonrise Kingdom - You know what? I kinda liked it. Though I really disliked the main boy.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - Just because. It was alright.
Watership Down - For 50/50. Totally bizarre and trippy version of The Odyseey... with bunnies.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge - It doesn't fit in with the rest of the films, but... I liked it.
BloodRayne: The Third Reich - For V.G. Movie article. Terrible, as expected.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Again... I kinda liked it.
Seeking a Friend For the End of the World - Much more melancholy than I expected, but it was enjoyable.
Magic Mike - I'm not a big Soderbergh fan, I guess.
The Devil's Carnival - From almost all the people that brought you Repo! The Genetic Opera. It was decent.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers - For 50/50. It could have been better, but it was alright.
Hansel & Gretel - A Korean horror/thriller/fantasy/drama. Starts off slow, then gets really screwed up halfway in. A very 'dark fantasy', twisted take on fairy tales with some H&G ideas sprinkled in. I recommend it.
Theatrical - 20
Re-Watch - 160
First Time - 218
TOTAL - 398
11.01.2012
Netflix Review: The Devil's Carnival.
The film follows three people who have just died: a kleptomaniac, Ms. Merrywood (Briana Evigan); a too-trusting teenager, Tamara (Jessica Lowndes); and a grieving father, John (Sean Patrick Flanery). They end up in a twisted Hell-carnival where different people/creatures play out a story that ties in with their respective sins in a way that begins their cycle of eternal damnation via metaphor. Each of these stories is based on Aesop's Fables, as read by Lucifer (Terrance Zdunich). Merrywood gets The Dog and Its Reflection; Tamara gets The Scorpion and the Frog; and John gets The Devil and His Due. The film also has appearances by Repo! veterans Alexa Vega, Paul Sorvino, Nivek Ogre, and Bill Moseley.
We all know how much I unashamedly love Repo! The Genetic Opera. But even the first time I watched that, I wasn't sure what to make of it. However, I'm not sure if that's the case here. I love the idea of this short, and despite what I might currently feel, I'll still watch any follow-ups (and Bousman/Zdunich plan on turning this into a series of shorts). So you've probably surmised I didn't care much for it. Well... yes and no.
Although it could have easily been longer (the story and character development possibilities were definitely there), I still like what they did with it. All the characters, from the sinners to the carnies, were fascinating. I'd love to see some of the carnies more, in particular. Ogre's character, The Twin, was particularly fascinating, as was Alexa Vega's Wick (And I didn't even recognize her. I had to look up afterwards which character she played, and I still can't believe that was her).
The main problem, to me, was the music. Some of Repo's songs had to grow on me, sure, but I'm not sure that's the case here. There are 12 songs in these 55 minutes, and only about half of them are any good. Most of them are short and, sadly, the longest one is probably my least favorite (it comes in at the conclusion of the Scorpion and the Frog story). And one of the best songs was cut from the film, though you see it in its entirety during the credits. But like I said, the songs that were good were good. Not great or "I must download this immediately," but "I might try listening again on YouTube" good. Outside of the aforementioned least favorite, there really weren't any I straight-up disliked. They just weren't catchy or memorable. They were just... there. But when you have a 55-minute short with 12 songs, this isn't a very good ratio.
That being said, if the story sounds interesting to you, I say check it out. It's only 55 minutes long. The short has apparently gotten some high praise--both the film itself and the soundtrack--all around. So maybe it's just me. And the aesthetics alone make it worth a watch. And it leaves the story off on a cliffhanger that left me interested in the possibly follow-up. I wish the songs were better on the whole, and the story definitely could have been expanded on had they had the budget (which they didn't), but I don't regret watching it. So I guess that's a good thing. (And who knows? Maybe, like Repo, a rewatch can change my mind.)
Stop Saying OK! OK.
10.31.2012
50/50 Review #42: Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers.
The film gives off a decent atmosphere; however, it's not very scary. There aren't that many big scares, and the actor playing Myers seems rather scrawny or awkward and isn't very intimidating. And then that mask just looks silly in comparison to other variations. But there are some good scenes in it, like the rooftop scene and, of course, the ending. The ending is pretty shocking, and I was lucky enough not to know what happens. Though I've heard the next film completely negates it, so that sucks.
Otherwise the film came off as just a generic slasher. Outside of Loomis, the characters weren't very interesting, and the story was almost non-existent. And even Loomis is just saying "He isn't a man; he's evil" or some variation the majority of the film. He doesn't really do much in the movie outside of a really good performance in the final moments of the film. But I can't care about the characters. They just... had no personalities. And there was nothing to keep me invested in any of them... outside the fact that Jamie was a little girl and you rarely want kids to die in horror movies (unless they're creepy kids... or bad actors).
But it did have some good ideas that I wish it had gone with or expanded on instead. For instance, there's an implication at the beginning that Dr. Loomis could just have gone crazy after all these years and was just having paranoid hallucinations. Had the film been from his perspective, they really could have played that up. What if Myers really had been dead or totally invalid as he was supposed to be, and Loomis was just imagining this other stuff was happening. And even the teens in the town dressing up as Myers, as they did in the film, could have helped play it up. And going this route could have made the ending even stronger. Imagine--he goes through all of this just to realize Myers is really gone and he's kinda crazy. And then BAM, we get that same ending. That would have been awesome. As it is, Myers was really there, and there was another aspect of the film they could have done more with: The Town Vs. Myers. You don't see that too often in slashers. But the rednecks form this lynch mob... and nothing really comes of it except they make a pretty big mistake (that nothing ever comes from) and then when they're really needed, they're like "screw it." I wish they had set up the town to trap Myers so it was like a cat and mouse game, back and forth between him and the rest of the town.
On the whole, though, I found myself checking the time often. I just found it difficult to really get into. Like I said, there were good ideas, and the one idea it goes with (the ending), they can't apparently stick with thanks to the follow-up. Again, the atmosphere was alright, but it wasn't really scary or exciting. A good scene here and there, but that's about it. It's not bad, but it's nothing super-fantastic, either.
Stop Saying OK! OK.
(P.S. That'll wrap up Joel's Month! I must say, it wasn't a very exciting month, unfortunately. I only actually liked one film (Open Your Eyes). Otherwise, the movies were anywhere from dull to blah (or just plain bizarre in the case of Watership Down). But now it's time to move on to the next month! Next month I'll be taking on Jess' selection... which, I'll admit, is an interesting mix of films.)
10.30.2012
The Demented Podcast #49 - Kryptoniiiiiitttteeee!
Due to Podomatic bandwidth issues, I will no longer be placing the podcast player on the site (and ask that nobody else links directly to it, either). But you can easily listen and subscribe through iTunes!
Current Tower Leaderboard
1) Dylan - 167 Points
2) Rachel - 155 Points
3) Dan - 152 Points
4) Tom - 143 Points
5) Jason - 132 Points
6) Nolahn - 131 Points
7) Joel - 117 Points
8) Joanna - 93 Points
Current/Previous Battle Royale Champions
(BR4) Stevee Taylor - 285 Points
(BR3) Dan Heaton - 176 Points
(BR2) Dylan Fields - 114 Points
(BR1) Rachel Thuro - 171 Points
(BR2) Dylan Fields - 114 Points
(BR1) Rachel Thuro - 171 Points
That being said, enjoy! Thanks goes out to Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website for great, royalty-free music. And thanks to Google for helping me find a website that will give me free video game audio samples.
10.29.2012
V.G. Movies #42: SILENT HILL: REVELATION.
[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]
THE HISTORY
After the "success" of the first film (it is considered to be one of the best video game adaptations thus far), a sequel was almost immediately green-lit. However, director Christoph Gans stated that he wanted to work on other projects and left the sequel. That's when Michael J. Bassett stepped up. However, we were going to get a return of Roger Avary as a writer... until he was arrested for vehicular manslaughter. Bassett also took over as writer. And it has taken 6 years to get this sequel that quite a few people, myself included, have been waiting for.
The film is based on Silent Hill 3. The story follows the hero of the first game, Harry Mason, and his daughter, Heather. But someone named Claudia in Silent Hill has sent a detective named Douglas Cartland to find her and ends up killing Harry. Heather then travels to Silent Hill to exact revenge on Claudia. She also eventually discovers she's the grown version of Alessa/Cheryl from the first game. But the story here doesn't really matter, as from what I've read and heard, the film basically takes names and a few plot points and disregards everything else.
So after all these years of waiting and anticipation... what'd I think?
THE FILM
For those who don't know, I really dig the first film. I was ticked off at the original of the first film, as well, and have been highly anticipating a sequel ever since. So when I heard this was finally happening, I couldn't have been more stoked. It was one of my most anticipated films of the year. I would finally see what happened next after that terrible ending of the first film, and then hopefully get another good film to follow up. Was is everything I hoped for?
Heather Mason (Adelaide Clemens) has moved all around the country with her dad, Harry (Sean Bean) since an incident when she was a child that she has no memory of. But weird things start happening in her new town, going right along with some terrible nightmares about a place called Silent Hill. Then her dad ends up being kidnapped and taken there. So Heather teams up with another new student named Vincent (Kit Harington) to go to Silent Hill to rescue her dad... but there's more to what's going on then she knows.
I don't often say things like this in reviews, but I'm pretty sure this one deserves it: Holy Fuckballs, this movie blew. Like, I've seen a ton of bad movies. I basically make a habit of seeing terrible movies. I have this entire Video Game Movies series (that I decided to willingly do), for crying out loud. The first film is one of--if not the--best video game movie. This one is, while not the worst, pretty damn terrible. This was like a notch above old school Uwe Boll, but without the camp.
First and foremost, the script is so painfully bad. The dialogue often had me thinking "PEOPLE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!" Seriously. The dialogue was so stilted and clunky and unrealistic. And the story itself was a disaster. It tried to take mainly from Silent Hill 3, but I doubt (no matter what they say) that anybody involved has ever played any of the games. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the writers or director had even seen the first film. Why? Because it ignores half the damn thing--but I'll get into that in a minute. Anyway, the story makes no damn sense. Everything that's happening is so illogical, and I'm pretty sure even the writers didn't know what was going on in the story. But the reason I said they didn't pay attention to anything in this series (games or film) is because it doesn't follow how a Silent Hill story works. It's supposed to be slow reveal where all the little mysteries and the monsters eventually build up to reveal some major secret about the characters and some fantastic backstory that really gets psychological on you. They're supposed to be this horror-noir, basically. But here, they take the biggest mystery of the game they're basing this on--that Heather is actually Sharon (or Cheryl in the games)--and announce that to you in the opening minutes of the film. Then it just throws in monsters for no reason. Even the first film had a reason for different monsters to exist in that particular nightmare. Here? They're just there because they wanted them to be there. No connection to the story at all.
Now I'm gonna get into some spoiler territory for both this film and the previous film. I'll let you know when I'm done with spoilers. So here we go. (SPOILERS) The entire point of the ending of the first film is that Sharon's mother, Rose, helps Alessa get her revenge by getting her into the church to kill everyone. She does so, and then Sharon and Alessa merge together and become one. The first film then ends by Sharon and her mom leaving the actual Silent Hill town, but still stuck in the "other realm." It's clear that Alessa has possessed Sharon. So here's Silent Hill: Revelation: Somehow, Rose figured out a way to get Sharon out of the "other realm," but got stuck there herself. Rose tells her husband, Christopher (Sean Bean), that people will try to come after Sharon so they have to keep on the run. That's why they move around so much and keep changing their names. So now Christopher is Harry and Sharon is Heather. But here's the kicker... they completely ignore the fact that Alessa got her revenge and then possessed Sharon. They somehow separated again and she wants revenge again on some other people, one of which being the baddie in the last film's sister (played here by Carrie-Ann Moss). And then the way they get Sharon out of the realm is such a piss-poor explanation-without-being-an-actual-explanation that I'm not sure if it makes the original's ending seem worse or is now better in comparison to what this film delivers. It was just a disaster of a connection. (END SPOILERS)
Now let's move on in to the acting. Not only was this easily some of the worst dialogue I've heard in a Hollywood production in a long time, but it was made even worse by the God-awful acting in the film. And I know at least Sean Bean has acting skills, and I've heard some of these other people do, too. But not in this movie. Not by a long shot. Our leads are basically two Brits and an Aussie, and none of them can hold their American accent. Not even Sean Bean! I swear, everybody slips out of their accents at least a couple times throughout the film (Hell, you can hear Adelaide do it in the trailer!). But every last person, including Radha Mitchell in a brief cameo near the start, gives such a clunky performance. I can't say it quite reaches Chris Klein-in-Legend-of-Chun-Li levels of badness, but it's still super clunky. There's a scene in the first act where Sean Bean is talking to Radha Mitchell in a mirror (yeah), and they keep calling each other "my love" in the most awkward way. It's so painful to watch and/or listen to. I think that was the first time I thought about walking out. (I will say, though, that Malcolm McDowell's brief appearance was great, because at least there he could ham it up and make it entertaining.)
And here's another thing. The first film relied on a building of tension and atmosphere. There was an air of mystery to everything, and it slowly build up the creepy and WTF factor. And it was a gorgeous looking film. To top it off, almost everything in that movie was done practically (with a couple notable exceptions). But the majority of the monsters were just guys in suits, and it looked fantastic. Here, they rely on a ton of really shitty CGI, especially in the case of the mannequin spider/scorpion thingy (also shown in the trailers). Not only did that scene not have anything to do with anything, it looked flat-out horrible. That was just some really bad CGI. And there's no atmosphere in this film. I never felt creeped out. I never felt any tension. And nothing looked as good or as stylish as the first film. There was nothing like the "Colin" scene in the first film.
There is some action in the film, and there actually are a couple good moments. Unfortunately, I'd already seen one of them a thousand times from the trailers and one of the big released scenes. The "Nurses" scene with Vincent is one of the best parts of the movie, and I'd already seen basically the entire thing before the film was even released. There was also maybe one scene near the end that I kinda liked, too, but that was about it. At least there was a final fight scene. If the movie ended with the most Epic-Hug-Battle ever, I'd have been even more pissed (that moment in and of itself was just ridiculous).
Overall, the film was just awful. And even worse, it was disappointing. Painfully disappointing, at that. I'd been anticipating this film for 6 years, and I get this piece of garbage. There's no atmosphere. No scares (outside the 'jump' variety The dialogue is terrible. The acting is terrible. Nothing makes any sense. It doesn't even look good. And, worst of all, it seemingly just ignores 98% of the first movie. Even if you've been anticipating this like I have, don't bother. It's not worth your time.
The Zed Word
(P.S. That being said, this was probably some of the best damn 3D I've ever seen. Holy crap, that was amazing.)
THE HISTORY
After the "success" of the first film (it is considered to be one of the best video game adaptations thus far), a sequel was almost immediately green-lit. However, director Christoph Gans stated that he wanted to work on other projects and left the sequel. That's when Michael J. Bassett stepped up. However, we were going to get a return of Roger Avary as a writer... until he was arrested for vehicular manslaughter. Bassett also took over as writer. And it has taken 6 years to get this sequel that quite a few people, myself included, have been waiting for.The film is based on Silent Hill 3. The story follows the hero of the first game, Harry Mason, and his daughter, Heather. But someone named Claudia in Silent Hill has sent a detective named Douglas Cartland to find her and ends up killing Harry. Heather then travels to Silent Hill to exact revenge on Claudia. She also eventually discovers she's the grown version of Alessa/Cheryl from the first game. But the story here doesn't really matter, as from what I've read and heard, the film basically takes names and a few plot points and disregards everything else.
So after all these years of waiting and anticipation... what'd I think?
THE FILM
For those who don't know, I really dig the first film. I was ticked off at the original of the first film, as well, and have been highly anticipating a sequel ever since. So when I heard this was finally happening, I couldn't have been more stoked. It was one of my most anticipated films of the year. I would finally see what happened next after that terrible ending of the first film, and then hopefully get another good film to follow up. Was is everything I hoped for?Heather Mason (Adelaide Clemens) has moved all around the country with her dad, Harry (Sean Bean) since an incident when she was a child that she has no memory of. But weird things start happening in her new town, going right along with some terrible nightmares about a place called Silent Hill. Then her dad ends up being kidnapped and taken there. So Heather teams up with another new student named Vincent (Kit Harington) to go to Silent Hill to rescue her dad... but there's more to what's going on then she knows.
I don't often say things like this in reviews, but I'm pretty sure this one deserves it: Holy Fuckballs, this movie blew. Like, I've seen a ton of bad movies. I basically make a habit of seeing terrible movies. I have this entire Video Game Movies series (that I decided to willingly do), for crying out loud. The first film is one of--if not the--best video game movie. This one is, while not the worst, pretty damn terrible. This was like a notch above old school Uwe Boll, but without the camp.
First and foremost, the script is so painfully bad. The dialogue often had me thinking "PEOPLE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!" Seriously. The dialogue was so stilted and clunky and unrealistic. And the story itself was a disaster. It tried to take mainly from Silent Hill 3, but I doubt (no matter what they say) that anybody involved has ever played any of the games. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if the writers or director had even seen the first film. Why? Because it ignores half the damn thing--but I'll get into that in a minute. Anyway, the story makes no damn sense. Everything that's happening is so illogical, and I'm pretty sure even the writers didn't know what was going on in the story. But the reason I said they didn't pay attention to anything in this series (games or film) is because it doesn't follow how a Silent Hill story works. It's supposed to be slow reveal where all the little mysteries and the monsters eventually build up to reveal some major secret about the characters and some fantastic backstory that really gets psychological on you. They're supposed to be this horror-noir, basically. But here, they take the biggest mystery of the game they're basing this on--that Heather is actually Sharon (or Cheryl in the games)--and announce that to you in the opening minutes of the film. Then it just throws in monsters for no reason. Even the first film had a reason for different monsters to exist in that particular nightmare. Here? They're just there because they wanted them to be there. No connection to the story at all.
Now I'm gonna get into some spoiler territory for both this film and the previous film. I'll let you know when I'm done with spoilers. So here we go. (SPOILERS) The entire point of the ending of the first film is that Sharon's mother, Rose, helps Alessa get her revenge by getting her into the church to kill everyone. She does so, and then Sharon and Alessa merge together and become one. The first film then ends by Sharon and her mom leaving the actual Silent Hill town, but still stuck in the "other realm." It's clear that Alessa has possessed Sharon. So here's Silent Hill: Revelation: Somehow, Rose figured out a way to get Sharon out of the "other realm," but got stuck there herself. Rose tells her husband, Christopher (Sean Bean), that people will try to come after Sharon so they have to keep on the run. That's why they move around so much and keep changing their names. So now Christopher is Harry and Sharon is Heather. But here's the kicker... they completely ignore the fact that Alessa got her revenge and then possessed Sharon. They somehow separated again and she wants revenge again on some other people, one of which being the baddie in the last film's sister (played here by Carrie-Ann Moss). And then the way they get Sharon out of the realm is such a piss-poor explanation-without-being-an-actual-explanation that I'm not sure if it makes the original's ending seem worse or is now better in comparison to what this film delivers. It was just a disaster of a connection. (END SPOILERS)
Now let's move on in to the acting. Not only was this easily some of the worst dialogue I've heard in a Hollywood production in a long time, but it was made even worse by the God-awful acting in the film. And I know at least Sean Bean has acting skills, and I've heard some of these other people do, too. But not in this movie. Not by a long shot. Our leads are basically two Brits and an Aussie, and none of them can hold their American accent. Not even Sean Bean! I swear, everybody slips out of their accents at least a couple times throughout the film (Hell, you can hear Adelaide do it in the trailer!). But every last person, including Radha Mitchell in a brief cameo near the start, gives such a clunky performance. I can't say it quite reaches Chris Klein-in-Legend-of-Chun-Li levels of badness, but it's still super clunky. There's a scene in the first act where Sean Bean is talking to Radha Mitchell in a mirror (yeah), and they keep calling each other "my love" in the most awkward way. It's so painful to watch and/or listen to. I think that was the first time I thought about walking out. (I will say, though, that Malcolm McDowell's brief appearance was great, because at least there he could ham it up and make it entertaining.)
And here's another thing. The first film relied on a building of tension and atmosphere. There was an air of mystery to everything, and it slowly build up the creepy and WTF factor. And it was a gorgeous looking film. To top it off, almost everything in that movie was done practically (with a couple notable exceptions). But the majority of the monsters were just guys in suits, and it looked fantastic. Here, they rely on a ton of really shitty CGI, especially in the case of the mannequin spider/scorpion thingy (also shown in the trailers). Not only did that scene not have anything to do with anything, it looked flat-out horrible. That was just some really bad CGI. And there's no atmosphere in this film. I never felt creeped out. I never felt any tension. And nothing looked as good or as stylish as the first film. There was nothing like the "Colin" scene in the first film.
There is some action in the film, and there actually are a couple good moments. Unfortunately, I'd already seen one of them a thousand times from the trailers and one of the big released scenes. The "Nurses" scene with Vincent is one of the best parts of the movie, and I'd already seen basically the entire thing before the film was even released. There was also maybe one scene near the end that I kinda liked, too, but that was about it. At least there was a final fight scene. If the movie ended with the most Epic-Hug-Battle ever, I'd have been even more pissed (that moment in and of itself was just ridiculous).
Overall, the film was just awful. And even worse, it was disappointing. Painfully disappointing, at that. I'd been anticipating this film for 6 years, and I get this piece of garbage. There's no atmosphere. No scares (outside the 'jump' variety The dialogue is terrible. The acting is terrible. Nothing makes any sense. It doesn't even look good. And, worst of all, it seemingly just ignores 98% of the first movie. Even if you've been anticipating this like I have, don't bother. It's not worth your time.
The Zed Word
(P.S. That being said, this was probably some of the best damn 3D I've ever seen. Holy crap, that was amazing.)
10.28.2012
The Vlog: Season 5, Episode 11 (An Epic Finale - Part 1).
Here we go, folks. This is the first of the two-part SERIES finale. And I must say, these are the two finest episodes of the entire series. I think that's pretty safe to say. Both are hilarious, exciting, and just damn entertaining, if I do say so myself. I also feel they both involve some of the best editing I've ever done. And I'm happy the show gets to go out with such a magnificent bang. So first up...
10.24.2012
50/50 Review #41: Watership Down.
The story and its themes are inspired by Homer's The Odyssey and Virgil's The Aeneid. In other words, for an animated flick about bunnies, this film is dark, depressing, violent, and totally screwed up. Despite my love of the old Greek and Roman tales, I had a few difficulties getting into the story. I couldn't tell you why, but it was just something about it that didn't click with me.
It might have been the characters, as I had a difficult time for a while telling them apart. They did have their own characteristics, but there were still plenty of times it was difficult remembering which rabbit was who and what their personality was (if they had one) and what their role is in the story. Couple that with trying to mentally compare it to its inspiration, and I found myself lost for a good chunk of the movie. Even after I figured them out, I still couldn't much get into them. Perhaps it was the lack of differentiation or emotion in their voices (partly, anyway).
But I think it's the animation that needs to be discussed here. I've never really seen anything like it in a movie before. It's quite unique (Side note: how do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it!). It almost looks like a painting that's turned into animation. But a really trippy painting that starts wigging out on you after you take some hallucinogens. Because this movie ends up in some very bizarre places visually. It sometimes drifts smoothly into almost a dream-like or nightmarish state where everything is off-the-walls, weird, or terrifying. It's also one of the most violent animated bunny movies I've ever seen, and the animation of violence and blood is both unsuspecting and quite well done. Apparently people still complain about the film's PG rating, and it remains today to be the most violent PG animated film ever made.
On the whole, though, I didn't really dislike it. In fact, once I got into it, I did enjoy it--even if it got really crazy at times. I particularly liked the character of Bigwig, as he was a pretty badass bunny. The animation was good and really interesting, which allows it to flow in and out of those strange sequences without seeming out of place. I doubt I'll watch it again, as I wasn't really in love with it, though I can see why somebody would be. It just wasn't all for me.
I Am McLovin!
10.22.2012
V.G. Movies #41: BloodRayne: The Third Reich.
[Welcome back to the Evolution of Video Game Movies series. Every week, I will be moving forward through time, starting with the earliest and ending with the most recent of video game movies. I will be detailing the histories of the games and how the films came about, and both my and fan reaction to the adaptations. Practically all of my background information is either common knowledge or from Wikipedia. So without further ado, let's move on to the next film on the list.]
THE HISTORY
Whereas the previous two movies had nothing to do with the games, this film actually takes an idea and/or setting from a game. It sets BloodRayne up against Nazis. But, being a Boll film, that doesn't matter in the slightest.
THE FILM
Plot that makes no sense. Continuity of story or characters doesn't work from film-to-film (or even scene-to-scene). Some of the same actors are brought back to play new characters in a different era... making no sense. But there is a pointless lesbian sex scene. And a pointless hetero sex scene. And a bunch of other pointless scenes. And everything is done incompetently. However, Clint Howard--one of the two primary villains--was cheesily awesome and hilarious. But, in other words, it sucks. What'd you expect?
The Zed Word
THE HISTORY
Whereas the previous two movies had nothing to do with the games, this film actually takes an idea and/or setting from a game. It sets BloodRayne up against Nazis. But, being a Boll film, that doesn't matter in the slightest.
THE FILM
The Zed Word
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