If Wes Anderson Directed The Spider-Man Reboot...

Just because...

LAMBTrax #1: Paycheck.

Hello readers. I just posted this to the LAMB, but I'm posting it here, as well, for those of you who are readers to my blog but aren't LAMBs. I recently recorded (with two others) a little something...

So what do we have?

I introduce to you... LAMBTrax, where we make good fun of "bad" movies... as the movie's playing! Fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000? Or perhaps the more recent RiffTrax (of the same people)? Well... I apologize for our poor-man's version, but hey... we tried.

And who is we?

I was joined by fellow LAMBs...

*Mike Mendez of Big Mike's Movie Blog
*Travis McCollum of The Movie Encyclopedia

And together we, very amateurishly, decided to riff on a movie.

And what is this movie?

We decided (OK, so we started with my choice) to go with the great Ben Affleck masterpiece... Paycheck!

So what do you need to do?

Well, you can subscribe via our PodOmatic site here. You could also subscribe via iTunes. Or you could just listen to us at the bottom of this post. But, of course, you'll need a copy of the movie, as well. Before you start playing the LAMBTrax, have the DVD set to the main menu with the volume at a bearable level (so to hear us and the movie). During our audio, we'll give you a tone (a bleating lamb) to signal you to hit play. Make sure to hit play right when the tone goes and not wait for the end of the tone, or else you'll be out of sync with the audio.

Now, this being our first attempt, it's a bit rough. Obviously, we learned from our mistakes and learned from each other for future episodes. Our jokes start off slow, but eventually pick up... because, hey, we don't want to hit y'all with a wallop of awesome right from the get-go, right? You'd probably die of a heart attack or something. And our timing is a bit rough (I believe all 3 of us started at different times, so for a little while at the beginning of the movie, some of the jokes might not match up with what's on the screen. But not for long, as we all pretty much re-sync with each other within the first 10 minutes or so).

All that being said, it was a totally fun experience, and I think we made a great first episode. If you have Paycheck, or can get a hold of a copy, please sit back, relax, and listen to three guys make fun of it for 2 hours.

And talk a lot about balls.

Note: LAMBTrax has been brought to you by Coke. Enjoy!

LKMYNTS: Ink.

I haven't done one of these for a while. I suppose it's because I've mostly watched more bigger name films than smaller as of late. But I'm always on the lookout for relatively unknown films with good-to-great reviews. Such was Ink. It's hard to describe this movie. The best I can say is MirrorMask meets What Dreams May Come meets Donnie Darko meets Dark City. In other words, it's stylish, deep, and only occasionally makes sense.

This movie introduces a new mythos, one where opposing forces fight over the subconscious realm. There are the storytellers, those who give the sleeping masses good dreams; on the other end, there are the Incubi, those who give nightmares. John (Christopher Soren Kelly) is a successful businessman on the verge of a major win. But things begin to spiral out of control when his 8-year-old daughter Emma (Quinn Hunchar) falls into a coma. Emma falls into a coma because Ink, a creature attempting to become an Incubi, kidnaps her spirit (or something like that) to sacrifice to those that want her. A group of storytellers must team up with Jacob (Jeremy Make), a blind Pathfinder, to find Emma and bring her back to the living realm before it's too late and her body dies.

The movie is so many things, it's incredibly hard to give my thoughts in a cohesive manner. Let's start with the negative: it moves a bit slow in its first half. It isn't until Jacob shows up that the movie really starts to pick up, but it's not until a little after that where it really grabs you and refuses to let go. You really have no idea what the heck is going on for what is essentially the majority of the movie, leaving you in this perpetual mind freak and confusion.

Granted, it all comes together nicely once they actually start giving you some viable dialogue, story, and character development. The characters are compelling, and the new mythos of this dream world is engaging and interesting. The visuals are magnificent, as well. They aren't as overt and strange as MirrorMask (except maybe the Incubi), but they're interesting enough to keep you intrigued. And even besides the visuals, the movie is stylish. From the fight scenes to the camera work, we're given some interesting choices. And the movie plays with light, making almost every scene seem dreamlike, whether it's the real world or the dream world.

So besides the movie all seeming dreamlike, it also plays out of order. Some scenes, especially those with the father, are shown more than once, sometimes from a different perspective. One of my favorite scenes is the "chain reaction" scene involving Jacob, in which he reveals what makes him so special (and it's a scene that is shown more than once in the movie). And speaking of Jacob, I wish there was more of him in the movie. He was by far the most interesting character. He was quirky and fun, while keeping just enough mystery to not get boring.

The ending threw me for a loop, and I had to do a bit of searching to figure out what the heck happened, but once I did, it all made perfect sense. It's a great ending (once you realize what it all means and that it isn't some strange paradox). Overall, this is one of those movies that, like MirrorMask, I think I'll grow to love even more the more I see it. It has a good story, good acting, great visuals, good action, and great imagination. And it's not just me. With a near 7-point score on imdb and a 90-something percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, I can pretty much say it's not just me loving this movie. So while I'm sure my score will go up upon future viewings, I'm going to score it for how my initial viewing left me.



A Keanu 'Whoa'

LEGION.

I've been pretty psyched for Legion for a while. I just knew that, at the very least, it'd be a fun romp into the realm of cheesy B-horror. And what I got was... well... Michael (Paul Bettany) decides to come down to Earth and shed his wings to help the humans. But no, not just any humans. The most important of the humans: a pregnant girl named Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) who lives with a mechanic named Jeep (Lucas Black) and his diner-owning father, Bob (Dennis Quaid). Also 'round these parts is the cook, Percy (Charles S. Dutton); a lost traveler, Kyle (Tyrese Gibson); a father (Jon Tenney), mother (Kate Walsh), and their semi-slutty daughter, Audrey (Willa Holland). Of course, as we learn from the trailer, Charlie's unborn baby is going to save humanity... they just have to stay alive from the legion of angels that are bringing on the apocalypse by killing humanity and trying to get to Charlie. But what exactly is the baby going to do to save humanity? Why do the angels come off more as demons? What did he mean that the angels aren't necessarily the good guys? If God truly wanted to wipe humanity out completely, couldn't He have just thought it into happening or something? Why do the possessed dudes just kinda stand there near the end? Why is one specific character allowed to live so long if said character is just going to die a meaningless and unseen, off-screen death near the end of the movie? What's written in that angelic message? Who (and/or what) the fuck are the prophets? And did anybody else picture Jay and Silent Bob hopping over one of the cars with hockey sticks at that point? Stay tuned, because all of these questions (and more!) are never even remotely discussed, much less answered, in Legion!

At least the first 20 or so minutes of the movie feels like a running joke of "I'm trying waaay too hard." From the burning-cross hole in the side of the building to playing It's A Wonderful Life on the TV in the diner (which is named Paradise Falls, somewhere outside L.A., the "City of Angels," as it were). And so many other things in between. The rest of the movie plays like an ultimate collection of cliches, from character actions to the cheesy one-liner.

I know this has mostly felt like a negative review, but there is some positive. Paul Bettany and Kevin Durand are wonderful in their respective roles (albeit Kevin Durand having way too little screen time prior to the climax of the movie). And Willa Holland is hot (and she is 18, so I can say that). There is some pretty decent comedy, too. There's also some good action--mostly once Kevin Durand comes into the picture, because before that, it's mostly just an endless stream of bullets. And it's always nice to see Doug Jones, although his Ice Cream Man role (which is a good chunk of the trailers) is pretty much just what you see in the trailers. He's on screen for maybe a minute tops.

There's also some good camera angles and cinematography. Despite having a shaky script, there actually was some good direction. It kept the movie fresh, and the visuals (in those respects) certainly weren't boring. The CGI was a bit dodgy in places, but there wasn't much of it, so that's good.

But I'd say the movie's biggest downfall is its script. Besides the aforementioned issues with almost nothing being explained, there's some iffy dialogue, as well as a feel that they tried to flesh out every character, but never could quite make it past the surface with each. There's also a "twist" at one point that... well... shouldn't really be a twist. It's treated as one, but when you hear it (and when the characters are reacting all 'wtf mate'), all I'm thinking is "yeah... OK, didn't we already know this? I mean, he never said it directly, but taking what he did tell us, I'm pretty sure you could figure it out by association. Literally." Their reactions were just a bit too... nonsensical for the timing. Or something like that.

Anywho, I didn't hate the movie. I just didn't particularly love it. It'd be a good one for a rifftrax of some sort, I'm sure. I suppose I'm just easily entertained and not easily perturbed as others are. The little things usually don't bother me, and it takes a lot for a movie to get one of my lower scores. If there's any semblance of entertainment (and, again, easily happens to me), it gets some points. So... yeah.


Stop Saying Okay! Okay.

(P.S. Why, if they lived in California, did Mr. Tokyo Drift have a southern accent... and why didn't his father?)

Odyssey: The Remix (My Movie + Bloopers).

Update: I'm not sure if it's just my computer or Vimeo, but the movie is slightly laggy in a couple parts... don't have too much time at the moment to mess with it, so if it's that way for y'all, I apologize.

Finally! Here it is. This is the movie created by my students and me. It's a modern adaptation of The Odyssey. We filmed for 9 (non-consecutive) days after school, each day for roughly an hour and a half, so it was almost impossible to get more than one or two takes per scene (hence why there are mistakes here and there, and why some editing is rougher than others). With the exception of one or two, these students were not trained in acting (i.e. have theater classes). in other words, there were extremely limited film times, conflicting schedules, untrained "child" actors, and only the help of iMovie '08 to edit. Not to mention a lack of extensive setting, seeing we could only film on campus.

In other words, it might not be a perfect movie, but it's a fun one, and the kids had a great time making it. It's one heck of an accomplishment. If I had had more time and a heck of a lot more resources and equipment, I'm sure it'd be more professional looking. But as it stands, I didn't, so I'm proud of what I feel is the best we could get with what we had.

So with roughly 3.5 hours of footage, I was able to make a roughly 37 minute short film. And here you are. Please enjoy "Odyssey: The Remix."

For those who know anything about the Odyssey, this film spans the following parts and characters:

Phaeacia
"Leaving Troy"
Poseidon
The Lotus Eaters
Polyphemus, the cyclops
Circe
Tiresias, the blind prophet
The Sirens
Scylla and Charybdis
Helios' Cows
Calypso
Penelope and the Suitors

Here you go:

Odyssey: The Remix from Nicholas Jobe on Vimeo.

And here are some bloopers:

THE BOOK OF ELI.

Warning: Potential mild spoilers.

----------------

This movie is not for everyone (obviously, considering the mixed reviews). But was it for me? The movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic near-future, where water is scarce, there's no soap, and the majority of the population can't even read. It centers around Eli (Denzel Washington), a wanderer with a book in his possession that he must get to the west. But along the way, he comes across a little town run by a man named Carnegie (Gary Oldman) who is searching for the very book that Eli possesses. And he will do anything to get it. Eli eventually teams up with a young woman named Solara (Mila Kunis), as well, whose mother is being held by Carnegie.

That's about it. It's no real elaborate plot or anything. And I honestly can't see what all the negative fuss is about the movie... that is, unless you're a close-minded religious zealot. Sure, it's a slow movie, but it's not that slow. The religion isn't even shoved down your throat. Yes, the whole movie is about it, but it doesn't say "this is the right way" or "this is the wrong way." In fact, that's one of the things I loved most about the movie. The way it treated the subject was just like anything else: in the wrong hands, it can be devastating and used for the wrong reasons... but in the right hands, it's precious and good. I read one review that said something along the lines of them not being sure, after leaving the movie, whether or not the movie's purpose wanted them to embrace or condemn religion. I say the movie had no such agenda, but instead showed us that, really, it's up to the individual to decide between what is right and what is wrong. And right and wrong isn't always black and white.

Outside of the story, the visuals are amazing. The post-apoc look is great, and the cinematography is excellent. There were two reason I really wanted to see the movie: 1) The cinematography looked excellent and 2) the action looked great. I was right on both counts. The action is, while typically short, is a ton of fun. One of my favorite action scenes, purely from a camera angle (no pun intended), was the "house" scene near the end of the second act. The way the camera swooped in and out of the house in what appeared to be an impossible single take was outstanding.

On the acting front, Denzel Washington is good, but there really isn't a heck of a lot for him to work with. But he's good enough. I always felt from the trailers that Mila Kunis seemed out of place. After seeing the movie, I'm a bit torn on that thought. Part of me still sides with that thought, but the other part of me thought she did a pretty decent job. The best part, though, was Gary Oldman being Gary Oldman. I love that man in whatever he does, and he can sure play crazy pretty well.

I also wanted to make note that, at one point, I thought we had become Harry Potter and the Book of Eli. Besides Gary Oldman (who played Sirius Black in the movies), we had the random appearances of Frances de la Tour (who played Madame Maxime in Goblet of Fire) and Michael Gambon (Dumbledore since the third). Though I have to be honest, seeing Dumbledore and Madame Maxime go all Rambo on Sirius Black was totally fun. And, Harry Potter aside, what is it with Malcolm McDowell and the apocalypse? Just from recent memory, he's been in this, Doomsday, and the guy who wanted to bring the end of the world in the first season of Heroes. And, according to imdb, he does a character voice in the show Metalocalypse.

All in all, it was a pretty good movie. I actually really enjoyed it, but I like post-apocalyptic stories, great visuals, fun action, Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, and almost anything to do with theology... so I guess you can say it was going to be hard for me not to like this movie. (Despite its incredibly weak and open-ended V-For-Vendetta-cheap-rip-off ending).


A Keanu 'Whoa'

(P.S. I didn't even mention the freakin' awesome twist near the end of the movie... that I won't spoil. I totally wanna see it again, just so I can see it with the new mindset).

Film Production Diary: Day 12.

It's finished! It's finally done! Hell to the yes! Well, OK, filming is done. I still have to edit in the new footage. But still, no more staying late after school (unless necessary)! No more worrying about if students will be there or not and/or if they brought what they needed to bring!

We filmed the 4 scenes we needed to, though parts were kinda tricky. Because my main guy got into a fight the other day, his face has bruises and whatnot that he didn't have in other parts of the movie... so I had to film it from angles that didn't show one side of his face. I also had to get another guy to do the "security guard" role (which is only feet, anyway), so hopefully you really can't tell.

We did almost have an issue, because they wouldn't let one of my students into the locker room to get his shirt, but luckily we got him another that he could just turn inside out. Oh, and we were racing my camera's battery, as it started running low toward the end. So that was fun.

Anywho, now it's time to finish editing this bad boy. I'll let you know as soon as it's available for viewing (if possible, I might upload it to YouTube tonight). So, until then...

Film Production Diary: Day 11.

Yeah, do I really have to say it? Nothing happened. Here's to tomorrow.

Film Production Diary: Day 10.

I say, "There's no way we can't finish the movie this week!" God says, "Haha, wanna bet?"

Today was just a maelstrom of issues. It started with the one guy forgetting his shirt (again). But we figured a solution to that... one of my other guys had a black shirt, and they'd just exchange shirts and the one would flip the black shirt inside out (to rid of the picture). Easy fix. Then, I discover that the one girl whose role we need to re-shoot is absent (again). Fine. OK. We can film the other stuff we have left. Easy.

But here's the real kicker. Right before my 7th period is about to start (the class I have 2 of my main guys in), my lead actor comes around the corner... his face covered in blood. He had gotten into a fight and got totally messed up (he didn't start the fight, either, apparently). So on top of the fact that his face is all bruised and his nose is broken, he'll probably be getting suspended for a few days. My hope is this: 1) they won't suspend him this week because we're about to start midterms tomorrow (they're even letting kids out of ISS, so I doubt they'll suspend him) and 2) one of my girls in 7th period can do wonders with makeup.

But he's also grounded, so I have no idea if his parents will even let him stay. It's a total mess.

And on top of all that, I don't think this other guy will be able to stay after school anymore for his role, because he keeps coming after school and we keep having to cancel, and he's been having to make special arrangements. Luckily, his role is faceless, so anybody in a pair of bluejeans can continue it.

So yeah... that's what happened today. Here's to hoping we can actually finish this damn thing.

On the upside... for those who haven't seen it yet, check out the post right below this one. I posted a movie trailer I made last night for the film.

Odyssey: The Remix Trailer (My Movie).

UPDATE: I've posted the embedding.

While I'm in my conference period, I thought I'd go ahead and post up the trailer for the movie. Also, expect Film Production Diary #10 later tonight. Anywho, here's the trailer. Again, for those who don't know, the movie is a modern adaptation of The Odyssey.

Here you go: