Movie Pitch: Mortimer Crimley.

Almost a month ago now I participated in Anomalous Material's Hollywood Fantasy Draft and Movie Pitch. For those that don't know, we bid on actors and a director and have to come up with a movie using them. Well, this is my movie pitch. Last time I participated, I based my pitch on one of my novels. This time, it's something just completely random and new (though it might eventually become a novel). So... enjoy! (Gonna try to keep this short--shorter than my last pitch, anyway.)


Mortimer "Timer" Crimley used to be a full-time hobbyist, working in an antique clock and watch shop. But when a time-traveler named Dax showed up, a broken timepiece became the least of his worries.


JAY BARUCHEL is Mortimer Crimley--Timer to those who know him, as he has a fascination with timepieces and works in an antique watch and clock shop. He's the hero of the story. Jay Baruchel is perfect for the role, as he can pull of the charming dork well, but he's also good at the underdog role, capable of holding his own as a lead.

JOEL DAVID MOORE is Daxitus Howard (Dax). He stumbles into Timer's shop asking for spare parts for his watch. It doesn't take long for Timer to realize there's more to Dax than he's letting on, and soon Dax reveals that he's actually from the future, and his watch is his time travel device. Joel is perfect for the role of a time-traveling scientist who is simultaneously friendly and know-it-all.

ADAM SCOTT is Theodore "Hawk" Hawkins, a space pilot and police officer from Dax's time. He's after Dax, who is accused of stealing the timepiece in the first place. Adam has the snark and humor needed for the role without being too goofy and able to maintain a coolness factor.

KRISTEN WIIG is Emma, a woman from the medieval period that Timer and Dax pick up while on the run. Eventually they're forced to bring her with them to the future on the bulk of the adventure. Kristin is an actress who is starting to hit it big recently, and she can bring the sweetness, charm, and naivety to the character that's needed.

JOHN MALKOVICH is Balthasar Whitman, the villain of the story. He's a space pirate out to steal the time travel device in order to gain ultimate power. Unfortunately for him, Dax was able to escape with it first--but not before Balthasar frames him. Why wouldn't you have John Malkovich as a villainous, futuristic space pirate?

KEN JEONG is Boorish, Balthasar's right-hand man. He's sent to do the dirty work. Again, why wouldn't you want to have Ken Jeong in this kind of role?

FRANCES MCDORMAND is Helena Whitman, Balthasar's wife, who is rather blase about the whole piracy thing. Frances McDormand is just someone who is good in anything she does.

MATT DAMON is Leslie St. James, the best space pilot who's ever existed, and one of the most famous people of the age. This would just be a fun cameo appearance by Damon near the end.


RUBEN FLEISCHER would be a great director, as he knows how to mix in humor and heart with great characters as shown in his previous film Zombieland and, seemingly, his upcoming film, 30 Minutes or Less.


We see some of the everyday routines of Timer as he goes in to work at the shop. After a long, slow day, a young man walks in. He introduces himself as Dax and says he needs his watch fixed. Timer gets a good look at the piece, but notices how strange it is. He converses with Dax on what exactly he's looking at, and Dax lets him in on his secret--it's a time travel device. Of course, Timer doesn't believe him at first. That's when Hawk shows up and begins threatening them. He also drops the name Leslie St. James, as if he knows this person. Timer has no idea what's going on, but there's a fight, the watch gets messed up, and the three men get tossed into a medieval period--Hawk unconscious.


Timer and Dax get out of there, leaving Hawk behind. They find a pub and discuss what, exactly, is happening. Dax explains that he's on the run after being framed for stealing the device and that Hawk is essentially the cop who is after him. But in reality, he was protecting the device from somebody else who was trying to steal it--he's not sure who, but he's almost positive it would have to be a space pirate. They also realize they're going to be stuck in this time period unless they can figure out how to fix the device.

Looking at it together, Dax and Timer notice the missing piece. It won't be hard to replace, as it's more of a mechanical issue than a technological issue. Unfortunately, they're stuck in a time period with very few resources. So they hunt down a blacksmith who might be able to help. They eventually find a place, but are shocked at what they discover. The place is run primarily by the daughter of the household, a young woman named Emma. She's a practicing smithy under the guidance of her father, but has since mainly taken over the business after he was injured.

After some talking, Emma helps them forge the miniscule piece and Timer gets it into the device. As Timer is working, there are some possible romantic moments between Dax and Emma. During all this time, Hawk has been searching for the two and finally finds them. He mentions Leslie St. James again, but Dax is assured there's no way he could know him. Hawk attacks again, but this time Dax is able to set the device correctly. However, Emma is accidentally brought with them.

They end up on in a space colony in the future, and they're able to lose Hawk again for now. Timer, Dax, and Emma travel the colony and find a place to rest. In the night, somebody breaks into their room and tries to steal the device. It's a small Asian man named Boorish. He beats up the two guys and almost escapes with the watch, but Emma bashes him over the head and knocks him out. When Boorish wakes up, he's tied up, and they question him. Stubborn at first, Boorish eventually gives in and says he works for Balthasar Whitman.

We see a scene with Balthasar and his wife on their ship here, talking about his master plan and what he's going to do once he becomes a master of time and space.

Back with the main three, they decide to take turns guarding Boorish through the night. Unfortunately, he's able to trick Timer during his turn and escape, stealing the time travel device in the process. Hawk manages to find them at this time, but it's no use for Dax. Hawk arrests him finally, despite their cries that it was a setup. He takes the other two in, as well, for resisting arrest in the first place. And even though they don't have the device anymore, Hawk doesn't care, as long as he got his target.

There's another scene of Balthasar, this time with Boorish showing up with the device. He's thrilled (he's wife is like "Yeah, great," being bored with all the evil plots she's had to put up with over the years).

As the main three are sitting in the jail cell talking, Hawk shows back up. He tells them that, apparently, the return of the device was more important than Dax's capture, so he needs to know where it's at. They tell him, but Hawk doesn't believe them. It's not long before the space colonies are under attack by weaponry that doesn't even exist yet even for their time. Dax is eventually forced to believe them and he sets them free, but stops to make a call (to the others' bewilderment). As the colonies are being overtaken by the space pirates, another ship arrives just in time to rescue the main guys from being enslaved. They make it onto the ship and escape. And when they get to the main bay, they're greeted by a smiling man who introduces himself as Leslie St. James.


He tells them that he received a call from his friend Hawk here and owed him a favor. Leslie--being one of the greatest space pilots, fighters, and adventurers of their era--helps them formulate a plan to stop Balthasar and his new army of unstoppable pirate warriors. His army is filled with some of the greatest warriors throughout all of time. Though they're able to re-enter the colonies incognito and infiltrate Balthasar's ship. Of course, there's a big battle, the bad guys are defeated, and everyone lives happily ever after. Dax decides to go live with Emma in the past. Timer takes the device with him, promising to destroy it as soon as he gets back to his own time. Unfortunately, the second he returns, he notices things have changed, and Dax's presence in the past has messed up the space-time continuum. The movie ends with Timer realizing what he needs to do, and he disappears, going into the past to find his new friend again.


  1. Why do the three main guy characters have nicknames, but the lead girl has to be "Emma" - can't she have a nickname too? Interesting choice of names overall - complicated.

  2. I dunno... never thought about it. But then again, not much thought went into this whole thing. They're all just shortened versions of their names, so I suppose she could be "Em."

  3. Good pitch. I would really watch this movie on one condition...... replace Jay Baruchel with someone, anyone but him. I am honestly tired of him trying to be the new Michael Cera while Michael Cera is STILL BEING MICHAEL CERA. Other than that this would make a really cool movie (and an even better book if you wrote it)

  4. Thanks! I like Jay Baruchel, though, and don't really see his style as like Michael Cera (you're the first person I've seen compare him as such). He's also done a handful of lesser-known films where he's done stuff beyond what you usually see from him.


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