And A Little More...

I realized I didn't fit everything in that I wanted to, so I'm doing a little bit more. I first wanted to include what I feel to be the 20 best performances of the decade.

To help, I've split them up into 2 different categories: Performances for a "good guy" character and, the much more interesting, performances for a "bad guy/anti-hero" character. And there are 10 in each, so they are essentially two Top 10 performances lists that I will then sift through for the Top 10 performances of the year list (hope that made sense). And I won't bother with an explanation... I'll just let the youtube videos do the talking (some clips were harder to find than others... some of these I had to use trailers). That being said, let's get to it.

Top 10 "Good Guy/Gal" Performances of the 2000s

10. Tallahassee - Woody Harrelson (Zombieland)



9. Tony Stark - Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man)



8. Dae-su Oh - Min-sik Choi (Oldboy)



7. Laura - Belen Rueda (The Orphanage)



6. Ulysses Everett McGill - George Clooney (O Brother, Where Art Thou?)



5. Joel Barish - Jim Carrey (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)



4. Amelie Poulain - Audrey Tautou (Amelie)



3. Park Il-sun - Rain (I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK)



2. Randy "The Ram" - Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)



1. Trevor Adams - Ben Foster (Bang Bang You're Dead)

Top 10 "Bad Guy/Antihero" Performances of the 2000s

10. Richard B. Riddick - Vin Diesel (Pitch Black)



9. V - Hugo Weaving (V For Vendetta)



8. Alonzo - Denzel Washington (Training Day)



7. Anton Chigurh - Javier Bardem (No Country For Old Men)



6. Vincent - Tom Cruise (Collateral)



5. John "Jigsaw" Kramer - Tobin Bell (The Saw Series)

Note: Whether you like the films or not, you can't deny Tobin Bell's acting is freakin' fantastic, and one of the only reasons even the less lenient fans keep coming back. Even I would have to say that if it weren't for Tobin Bell, this series wouldn't have lasted as long as it has. This particular clip (not so good quality) is from Saw II and features John talking to Detective Matthews.



4. Severus Snape - Alan Rickman (The Harry Potter Series)

Note: Rickman completely embodies Snape, and it wouldn't be the same with anybody else. But the video I want cannot be embedded, so follow this link. It's one of my favorite Snape scenes--the extended cut of Harry's first Potions class, which is so much better than the original cut, of course. Also, random fun fact, 2 of the 3 things Snape talks about toward the end of the clip come back in Half-Blood Prince.

3. Rorschach - Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen)

Note: This scene is also refusing embedding. Probably for the better, as it's a pretty graphic scene. Anyway, here's the clip.

2. Hans Landa - Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)



1. The Joker - Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

Note: And, again, another clip that can't be embedded. It's the scene that made everybody fall in love with the character: The pencil trick. Check it out.

Top 10 Overall Performances of the 2000s

10. Joel Barish - Jim Carrey (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
9. John "Jigsaw" Kramer - Tobin Bell (The Saw Series)
8. Amelie Poulain - Audrey Tautou (Amelie)
7. Park Il-sun - Rain (I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK)
6. Severus Snape - Alan Rickman (The Harry Potter Series)
5. Rorschach - Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen)
4. Randy "The Ram" - Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)
3. Trevor Adams - Ben Foster (Bang Bang You're Dead)
2. Hans Landa - Christoph Waltz (Inglorious Basterds)
1. The Joker - Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

Runner-Up: This movie didn't make any of my lists, but it probably should have. Hard Candy was a brutal thriller, and Ellen Page's performance is outstanding, better than anything else she's done yet. So I thought I'd give it a shout-out here.


The last thing I need to post is one thing I had nearly forgotten about: The worst films of the decade. No, I won't be doing an elaborate list here. It's just a decade list. Why? Because I don't go out of my way to see bad movies. So this list compromises the top (bottom?) ten films of the 2000s that I've actually seen. I'm sure there are far worse films than some of these out there. But these are pretty bad, too.

Worst Movies of the 2000s (That I've Seen)

10. The Strangers (2008)

This is one of the most overrated horror films ever. It's not scary. It's not even moderately creepy (at least after the first 10 minutes). It's just... bad.

9. Jumper (2008)

I was so looking forward to this movie. It turned into a total waste. They should have stuck with the younger actors that portrayed the characters before they went however many years "later."

8. Date Movie (2006)

Around the middle of the "Movie" Movie craze, right when they started getting unbearably bad (The "Scary Movies" were at least decent... but when they branched out, they just went downhill fast). Poor Alyson Hannigan.

7. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

Not even Brendan Frasier could save this movie. Bad story, bad acting, bad special effects... it was just bad all around.

6. Dragonball Evolution (2009)

I'd been waiting for a live Dragonball movie since the 90s. And then they give us this travesty. It doesn't follow the Dragonball universe almost whatsoever. I do have to give them props on James Marsters as Piccolo. That was actually brilliant casting, and they even made Piccolo look pretty good with the makeup and whatnot. It's just unfortunate he had maybe 5 minutes of total screen time. It was just all wrong and all bad. This is one movie in serious need of a reboot.

5. Anything by Uwe Boll (2003-2009)

You can't have a worst-of list for the decade and not include Uwe Boll. Of his films, I've seen 2 (House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark). And that was more than enough. At least House of the Dead could be considered a so-bad-its-hilarious to watch and riff with friends. But the others... just terrible.

4. Diary of the Dead (2007)

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Romero used to be at the top of the horror field. And then he gave us this. It's terribly acted, and it can't even properly do the "found tape" style of movie. One of the characters actually tells you "I edited this movie after the fact and added tense music and some sound effects to help with the tension" (or something along those lines). Now that's just sad.

3. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

This is why video game movies have a bad rep. Crap like this. I was literally embarrassed leaving the movie theater, hoping nobody was watching me leave this travesty of film. No kidding. I had never before nor have I ever since left a movie feeling embarrassed for having publicly seen it... not even the Twilight films. Bad. Bad bad bad.

2. The Spirit (2008)

The only reason my friend and I didn't walk out of this mess is that we were having too much fun riffing on it. This is a perfect riff movie, and I'd be tempted to buy it (from Amazon or some other non-public store) just to make my own personal rifftrax. It is so terribly awful that words cannot describe it. If you go back and look at my review for the movie after having seen it... I literally couldn't find the words to give a proper review. This is by and far one of the worst movies I have ever seen... but not the worst.

1. The Room (2003)

That honor goes to this gem, which I just saw this year. This movie is either a work of terror or a work of pure genius. Tommy Wiseau is either a total moron or the greatest filmmaker of our age. He has either given us the world's worst modern film or the greatest practical joke ever pulled on film. Words cannot describe this movie... it's probably best to go and listen to a previous LAMBcast where it's discussed (I'm not involved, however, as I hadn't seen it at that point). With classic lines like "Hi doggie!" or just his amazing laugh, "ha ha ha ha." The movie is classically, possibly even brilliantly, terrible.

DVDs Or Death!

I apologize for missing this feature for the past month or so, but it's back! So don't fret any more! It's time once again for... DVDs OR DEATH!

The Other Boleyn Girl.

Brief Synopsis: Natalie Portman And Scarlett Johansson Playing Slutty Sisters And Boning Eric Bana's Henry VIII.

Comments: I wanted to see this one in theater, but it didn't even come here. Though I mostly wanted to see it because I love both Natalie and Scarlett. But I've since heard this movie was pretty bad and rather boring.

Viewing Option: Rent or TV.

The Bucket List.

Brief Synopsis: Jack Nicholson And Morgan Freeman Do Things Before They Die.

Comments: I saw it in theater. It was pretty decent, though I probably wouldn't buy it. Sean Hayes (Jack from Will & Grace) was the best thing about the movie, and I didn't really care for Mr. Nicholson in it.

Viewing Option: Wait for TV.

Jumper.

Brief Synopsis: Kid Who Teleports Meets Other Kid Who Teleports And Fights Sam Jackson.

Comments: Again, saw it in theater... and it was a total let-down.

Viewing Option: Wait for TV (if just to see the teleporting scenes).

Funny Games.

Brief Synopsis: Two Guys Take Family Hostage And Do Torturous Things.

Comments: This was obviously too small of a movie to come here, though I've heard mixed reviews. Though I hadn't actually heard of the movie until I read reviews, and I've still yet to even watch a trailer.

Viewing Option: Rent.

JUMPER.

Remember that movie a few years back called The Covenant? This movie is basically like that movie: a simple and relatively unimportant plot, really freakin awesome action, and an ending that makes you feel they’re setting it up for a trilogy that might never come. Except this one has Hayden Christensen in it.

The basic movie is thus: 15 year old David (Max Thieriot) is all crushing on 15 year old Millie (AnnaSophia Robb). He gives her a snow globe as a gift, but a bully throws it out on the ice. When he goes out to get it, he breaks through and is about to drown when he suddenly teleports to safety. His home life sucks as his mom (Diane Lane) ran off when he was 5, and his dad (Michael Rooker) is a drunk. So he runs away and starts a life of independence and bank robbery. So 8 years pass and David (Hayden Christensen) is living the good life, but decides to make a trip back home. He meets up with his old crush, Millie (Rachel Bilson) and decides to take her on a trip to Rome. However, he also meets up with a Paladin, people who hunt Jumpers, named Roland (Sam Jackson), as well as a fellow Jumper named Griffin (Jamie Bell). Griffin informs David that Paladins will kill everybody he knows and then him and welcomes him to the war. Action ensues.

Now, the premise is very cool, which made me super excited about the movie. However, besides the premise, all the movie has going for it is the action, unfortunately. As far as acting goes, it really isn’t the best, especially with Hayden, who seems to be channeling his performance as Anakin. His voice-over at the beginning couldn’t sound any more unenthused and dry. His acting in some of the scenes literally made an image of a piece of cardboard flash into my mind.

As for Millie, I liked AnnaSophia’s portrayal more than I did Rachel Bilson’s. They should have just left them 15 years old and let the two 15 year olds play the part. It would have been much better. And David and Millie’s first meeting after 8 years of being missing is bordering ridiculous. David’s dad and even Millie’s mom are all brought to tears because he’s just been missing and presumed dead for 8 years. But Millie is just like “Hey, what’s up?” like they had never been apart. Not to mention he shows up out of nowhere in 8 years, asks her to go to Rome after talking for about 10 minutes, and she accepts immediately.

And Sam Jackson wasn’t really in the movie a whole lot, to be honest (I mean, he had his fair share of scenes). But when he was, he said a lot of the same lines over and over again (“I’m from such-and-such government agency” and “Only God has the right to be everywhere at once!” and “He got away!”).

Oh, and Diane Lane’s subplot was almost completely irrelevant unless they plan on using it for a sequel. She literally only has 2 scenes in the entire movie, and one of them only lasts about 15 seconds at most.

The one character who did save the show, though, was Griffin. He was funny, witty, and a pretty neat character. Ironically, from what I’ve heard, he’s the only character that’s not from the original book (he was added just for the movie). The only thing I disliked about Griffin’s character was that he seemed contradictory with himself. The whole beginning he’s following Hayden around all stalker-like. But once they finally meet and he tells him about the Paladins, he no longer wants anything else to do with Hayden’s character whatsoever and complains because Hayden won’t leave him alone. It’s almost like “what’s the point, then?”

But what was really cool was the action. The visual effects and just the action in general is worth seeing this movie, especially toward the climax. It’s just super fun to watch. Unfortunately, a lot of things were left hanging and unanswered. You don’t know what happens to a handful of characters. Everything is just left with you asking “…but what about…?” And the screenplay was co-written by the same guy who did Fight Club, which is interesting. Oh, and for those interested, the soundtrack was on-again-off-again with me. Sometimes it had some really cool orchestral stuff, other times it was rather forgettable… so it mirrored the movie nicely.

So really, the only thing going for the movie is the action and such, which is insanely cool. If it weren’t for that, it’d probably have gotten a lower rating from me, but the action itself is worth seeing the movie.

Feed Me, Seymour!